Hurt & Anger at the Hotel del Ardid

A cramped space. Not ideal but I can work with it. Nothing that good cheer can't overcome. I start off all sexual encounters as I must, with a kiss. Only going light on this kissing this time, we have a limited amount of time and I don't want to get too caught up on first base. Might as well multitask while I'm at it. I reach in her pants. She welcomes it and through my sense of touch alone, I guide my hand to her opening. I find it and in I go, an inch at a time. Hope my combination of first and second base makes her wet in record speed.

"Let me know when," I say in between kisses, the kind of kisses whose purpose are more about giving off the illusion of passion than to actually enjoy.

After a few moments, she says "when," and so it looks like my dick is up to bat. I spin her around and pull down her pants and then her panties, with her taut ass staring me with just a little peek at the opening of her pussy in my eyesight. There's no resistance on her part, only mental preparation. Her hands are on a nearby wall and she's ready to take it.

I pull my pants slightly down, my hard dick already at attention comes out. I take it in my hand and slowly ease it into her. In I go, surveying her inside with the exploratory vessel that is my shaft. It's good, the expedition is a success.

So once I'm as deep as I can go I give a little pause to commemorate the moment, might as well make it seem special. It'll only take a few seconds, what's the harm? Anyways it's time to actually commence with the fucking. Yeah I know there's probably a refined way to describe it but you know I'm too amped up to fuck to describe things good. Now, remember, in this case quick equals good. Counterintuitive, yeah I know.

Haven't fucked with clothes on for so long, forgot that it kind of gives clothes a state of sexual charge. A reminder that the state of nakedness is not necessarily required for the act of copulation. That sexuality is not an on or off switch, it's something we carry with us whatever amount of clothing we have on.

So while I've been sharing with you my thoughts I've also been slowly easing myself back and forth. Even with a time limit, I have to make sure she's good for when things get really swift. It's not going to do me very well to have her yelping in pain for going too fast, is it? No, got to give her the requisite warm-up time of soft penetration before I can really kick things up a notch.

I think I'm good to go faster, guess I'll let her be the judge of that. She's not trying to stop me, she's not encouraging me either. She's just letting me do my thing and enjoying the sensations. Not giving me any moans for my satisfaction, not giving me anything really. I've created a one-sided type situation here, each of us focusing on our own side of the equation. Our respective pleasures existing separately from the other. Both focusing on self-need in an act that invites connection.

Guess I could always just describe how good my dick feels, there's always that. My dick feels good, it feels warm wet, all the ways that give my sense endings good vibrations. Vaginas have a pretty good track record of being places that feel good when you stick your dick in them. That's pretty much it. I could repeat that to you over and over again if you would like. Yeah, I thought not.

Oddly, so much physical pleasure can come if you get the mind just right. As if the key to unlocking pleasure or whatever feeling we want has been inside us all along. We're all just looking for the right stimuli, the right experience that will give our brain the a-ok to feel how we want to feel. We think we're on the path to our dream destination when it's all just a wild goose chase, we're all just circling back to ourselves.

Get ahold of yourself, this is not what summer wants. Summer hath no need for introspection. No, summer wants to celebrate you, have you give a high five to all your bros. You've done the improbable, fucked a hotel employee. You've gone above and beyond the bounds of expected copulation. Congratulations, you're now a god among men! Let the warm air of summer soothe your being as you finish the final touches of your coitus.

So mind, get ready to be overloaded. All the best sexual encounters I've had, up they go. Into my mind, for it to be overpowered. No way I can't cum with them on my mind. Even if their respective relationships ended poorly they're still coming into view. The sex is all that matters here.

And so of course, I climax. I pull out and look for somewhere to cum. Her ass being the obvious target. No way to stain that, so I shoot my load and look around for some tissues to clean her up with. Found some on a shelf and grab some and am about to clean my ejaculate when I take a moment to look at it against her ass.

I guess it's a mark that I was here, I came, I saw, I conquered. Yet the mark will be wiped away by the very tissues I have in my hand. Erasing my own history in a way. Other guys will come after me and will have her, just a footnote in her sexual history, not a very well thought of one probably at that.

Anyway, enough with the existentialism. Time to clean up my mess and go back to being suave.

"You're welcome," I tell her as I pull up my pants, forcefully forgoing the usual gratitude. Guess I'm evolving, would you look at that?

She gives a little smile. I can tell she enjoyed it but probably doesn't ever want to see me again. I now represent the dark side of her, the side that wants to rebel. That is after all what I presented our copulation as, a chance to defy her employers by serving one of their customers a little too well. She got in touch enough with her rebel side to want to ignore it for the time being.

So we exit the closet and part ways, with the unspoken agreement that if we ever see one another that we will not acknowledge each other. There are worse ways for sexual encounters to end. Both parties go their separate way, no hard feelings, no feelings at all in this case.

So some food would be nice, however, I'm still under vows to not give one single penny to this hotel. Luckily I have food bars in my bag. I wouldn't recommend a diet of just these but for one day they'll be good. But why not go to where others are eating? Maybe I can freeload something that doesn't come in a wrapper there.

So the restaurant is where I make my next stand. Walk along all the tables and see where I may just snag myself a loaf of bread. And then I see them, specifically her. Amongst the hackneyed group of guys with their girlfriends. One girl for every bro.

Something draws me to her. The sweetness I've yet to encounter might lie in her. As good a flavor as any to add to my collection. Yet there's the social group surrounding her trying to keep me from her. This will not do, I must infiltrate it and kick her boyfriend out. I know this goes against the bro code, but I've been breaking a lot of social mores this weekend so why not one more?

First to gain their trust and respect. Let's see, how to accomplish that in such short order? Answer: be the guide. But where am I going to guide them too? What fun can I awaken on their horizons? What would they not know exists without me? The guys there are already people who got where they are by imposing illusions of dominance, what could be enticing enough to make them shirk that illusion?

The hand of God acting through me to give them the perfect vacation. Position myself as the giver of fate, a messenger of the divine brought down to make sure they have the best time ever. And they better listen to me if they don't want to get a case of the dreaded FOMO.

So please allow me to introduce myself. Even better this time. Let me start off with a question, something that will engage them but still allows me the credibility to set myself up as the guider to good experiences later. Remember, the ties that bind them together are made up of no more than convenience and mild identification. They'll break easily the moment there's a good reason for them to break.

"Hey y'all. By any chance do you know if Medicino Gardens is still open? I'm checking google and it says permanently closed," I ask them.

"We don't know," says one of the guys. Of course, they don't.

"I guess I'll just trust that Google's right then. Ah, that's too bad, that was the secret spot in a place full of them," I say, really dropping an enticing hint there. "At least there's always Point Ford," I add, really trying to get their curiosity going now.

"What's that?" One of the other guys asks.

Hmm, what is it exactly? I know it's around here somewhere. Well, they don't know either.

"Just the most lovely little peninsula you ever did see. Waves crashing into you from all sides. I don't know how much you know about history but some truly great landings went down there. It just feels so wonderful to walk on such consequential ground," I say with all the passion I can muster. Let them know that I'm on my way to having a good time, make them want to go my way.

"What do you have planned to do?" I ask, hoping that their plans seem dull in comparison.

"Oh well, there's the beach," one of them says tentatively.

"Yeah we're just here to relax," another adds.

"Well, the sunsets are quite nice here. I mean they're nice everywhere but they're especially nice here," I suggest. "I'm sure whatever you do you'll be giving your sexy gals a good time," laughs come out with this line. There that does it, making them think I respect the sanctity of the girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. The floundering fools, I know at least one person at the table has cheated on their respective partner.

"I remember getting to take a girl here once, lucky me. Though I sure made her lucky too in the end. There's just something about getting to share a sunset on the beach off some cliffs here that just reminds you of the magic that this world can bring." Note: I don't even think there are cliffs around here.

"But I don't know, we always get so obsessed with trying to make sure that we have the best experience that we often stress ourselves out, and that's really counterproductive." I'm representing the best of both worlds here. "Even in god forbid boring situations you can find something of note. Something that deepens your understanding."

"That's true," one of the guys plainly says. At least I know he's following my lead.

"Just earlier this day I saw something that really hit me hard. Actually, I can show you, very quickly. You can even leave your plates behind." I say as I motion to the pool area. Once we get there I point in front of me. "See, a fucking pool in front of the fucking ocean. Here's your access to excess everyone. This right here is a self-parody of how disconnected we've gotten from nature. Let me tell you that some of the best times I've ever had were in the woods." They nod as if seeing my point. There, we're all now better than everyone else here even though I can't see the line that separates us from them. I also got them to move locations with me, subconsciously making them trust me more.

So back to the table we go. I guess nature guy is who I'm leaning toward. It at least makes some of them feel inferior for spending so much time indoors playing videogames. Anyways I think I got myself comfortable enough with them it's slipped their mind that I wasn't always along for the ride. I now have to make sure to bring the conversation back over to them. Give myself a bit of a breather before I have to outshine them all again.

Anyway, they say their spiel. Nothing special, why would it be? At least it still makes me the most interesting guy at the table. Now that we're all at least halfway comfortable it's time to give my target's boyfriend the heave-ho so that I can get my grasp on his girl. What's the best way to do this? Get someone else to do it for me of course.

So how do I do this? Well, jealousy's always a killer. Got to get him jealous enough, cause a fight between this guy and another and do my best to back my preferred winner. Well, one way to start is by making my target feel like he should be in control. And then doing whatever I can to let the insecurities drip in.

Let's see, how to start? Well, the girl I'm trying to steal and one of the other guys both grew up in the O.C., I'm sure that's akin to being in the army together. So I ask them about their experiences and how they correlate. Sure enough, they have loads to talk about, nothing I feel the need to subject you to in its entirety, I'll take the sole burden on that. But what is important is my mark's hand is getting mighty clenched right now.

"Wow, you too have a lot in common, maybe you should be the ones dating," I say with a laugh, others follow suit with one notable exception. "You all know that I'm kidding right? You're all so cute together," I add with a distinct focus on the couples I want to stay together.

Cool, haven't put my cards all the way on the table so there's no way of them knowing what my game is. I'm safe as long as I stick to my altruistic facade. So the guy I want to inflame just had his temperature raised. Let's see if step two just can't make him go degrees higher. Now, what to do? I think a joke is in order, a joke at his expense. Get another guy to tell it even, in an "I'm just messing with you," kind of way that will make my mark's inevitable blow-up seem all the more undue.

Now how to plant the seeds for that? How to make a bro make fun of another bro? Point out something emasculating, or better yet have my mark do it to himself. What about this guy could I use? Well, we're on the subject of locations, he's from Portland, wonder if there's anything someone else will rip on him for that I can get him to open up about?

"So you're from Portland, what's the food situation like?" I ask the mark.

"Oh you know brunch is always top-notch, really love how dining's gotten so much attention. A night out at a fancy restaurant is always a delight for me." Really lucked out on that one.

Seizing the opportunity, another bro is like "check out the etiquette on this guy man, really pampered. Don't think he does gluten either right?" I wouldn't reward that with a carpe diem but it serves me well. Under normal circumstances, it would probably just be another joke, just another busting the balls type of thing that you would be a fool to take seriously. However, these are not normal circumstances at all, at least not if what I'm about to do next has the effect I hope it has.

Now time to give his actual girlfriend the time of day. Better yet, actually show some interest, keep her talking for as long as possible. Let her enjoy having the spotlight for once in her lifetime and have her feel supported enough to stand in it for as long as she wants to.

"So you spent some time in NYC too? That must be cool," I tell her.

"Yeah it's pretty cool," she says, still being a little bashful. That little is about to shrink to molecular once I do my handiwork.

"Come on, it's the city that never sleeps, you got to have more to add than that!" I say eagerly.

"Well it's not really about the experiences there, I mean there are cool ones, it's more about the energy. Everyone's always going someplace and they can be rude and curt but there's kind of a sense that we're in this together."

"Thanks for sharing," I say. "But what about some of those experiences? At least some of them got to be worth mentioning, right?"

"You know there was this one time when a blizzard hit and the cars were forced off the street and so a bunch of us just had a snowball fight, with people I didn't know even."

"That's awesome!" I exclaim much to the chagrin of her boyfriend. Jealousy's really gotten to his head. Hope this is where he goes over the top because I don't have a next step I can think of.

"All right guys, ready to go?" he asks in a huff.

"I'm still eating," his girlfriend responds, really making my day in the process.

"Well, maybe you would be done already if you hadn't been talking to this sketchy stranger!" He exclaims. Hook, line and sinker.

"Hey sorry I didn't mean to intrude. I can leave if need be," I say without any recognizable agenda besides resolving the situation at hand. I really got my without a care in the world act nailed down.

"No you're fine, more the merrier, right? It's just my boyfriend who could chill out," she says.

"Don't you see what he's doing to all of you?" he asks in a frenzy.

"What is this a movie?" I say before purposely backing down. "Sorry, just slipped out. This is not my place." I say out of courteousness rather than abdication. I'm really making him look like a true asshole, aren't I?

"... I'm out of here. Let me know when you come to your senses," he says while leaving in a tiff.

"Sorry, for that. Hope we're all cool," I ensure.

"We cool," one of the people whose name I didn't bother to learn says.

"I can leave but I don't really have a squad here. I'm cool to join or leave, whatever you prefer. It's all an adventure."

"Yeah we're cool, you seem cool. I think he just needs to clear his head for a bit before he rejoins," one of the other bros says.

"You know maybe even if I haven't done anything wrong, I can still make it up to you," I say while opening my bag to show the bit of weed I took earlier. Getting real enticing looks in response.

***************************************

We're at the beach now. I luck my way into finding a little crevasse on the beach that no one can see us from. You have no idea how long I had to keep my "We're almost there," game going. I almost had to give up the ghost but all's well that ends well.

Don't have a bong, papers or pipe handy, but kids did you know you can make a pipe out of an apple? If you didn't well you can look up on your government spy thing for directions on how to make one instead of having me reiterate them to you here.

Anyway back to the business at hand, it's time to get the smoke circle into full swing. I take first toke cause this is now my lead they're following. It's going to be hard to keep my composure with this haze enveloping me though. I hand off the makeshift pipe to the person to my right while I do my best to keep from revealing my it's-been-awhile lungs to them.

The sudden influx of THC and whatever else is in this shit that gets you high is kind of affecting my criticality a bit. If you think my already wonky narration has been a bit loose well, uh, I don't know, something. Fuck, I'm high. Focus now, create a sense of composure, physically at least. Mentally I'm done for.

While I'm waiting for the pot to go all the way around this smoke circle, why don't I tell you a little bit about Isabel? I'm fucked up enough to do it now. Well, Isabel, she was... she was... Fuck if I really truly remember. I just know what she means to me now. She has become a cautionary tale about the instability of romantic relationships, how they're not a scaffold that you would want to build satisfaction on top of. You never know when the other person wants to collapse it. So, why continue with them? Well, my sexual needs haven't dried up yet. Is there any other reason? I don't know.

She wanted me to descend with her into a bottomless pit of sweet and good nature. I was not the man for the job, the salvation of sweetness that awaits most put upon people like me passed over me like a hawk onto better prey. But I couldn't bear to bid her adieu. So caught in a stalemate we were. I wanted love, who would be a fool to pass that up? Yet there was and is no becoming a being of pure happiness for me. I have a little too much... I don't know, pain, humanity, weakness, anger, damage, what have you. I don't even care anymore. All I know is that I shouldn't have believed in the grandiosity of love, it's much more mundane than I thought it was. John Mayer should've warned me about this.