All Comments on 'Hurtful Homecoming'

I like the premise, but often felt like there were superfluous words/language that just got in the way of easy reading and comprehension. Description is wonderful, and you obviously have a great grasp of the language, but at some point all of the adjectives can get to be too much and it feels like you got a little thesaurus-happy. (Examples: "she was bent over the stronger younger woman's surprisingly ample lap with her skirt rucked up and a strong country hand yanking down her lovely lime green panties she had specially selected at Trashy Lingerie on Wilshire." AND "The spanking glove made it possible for the powerful Patty to maintain a constant fusillade of spanks on Pam's now crimson cheeks. As they reddened, Patty maintained a constant accompaniment of scolding for the now devastated "stepdaughter".")

I also would like more of a background, build-up and believable details. I didn't quite understand why Pam (I think - the two 'P' names got confusing) deserved the punishment or she didn't resist at first, at least. Why was there so much animosity between them? Why does Patty keep sex toys in the hallway/living room (the spanking was before she showed Pam to her room)? How did Patty get the glove on while she was holding Pam down, and without her realizing it? Why didn't Pam refuse to kiss Patty's ass, or just leave - what was motivating her to stay/do it, other than the spanking threat?

I noticed some technical errors, too, particularly in the dialogue.

I know it's fantasy, but I guess I need a little more realism and depth to be able to fully enjoy it. It's a good effort - I just think it could be a lot better with some additions and revisions. If you were to add to the plot and characters and work with a thorough editor, I think it could be excellent.

Best of luck with the writing!

Plenty to work with for a follow up Stepmum intro to her sister? Looking forward to more