All Comments on 'I Call Dibs'

Okay story . . . I'm sure some will love all the inside references and middle school maturity level breast discussions. I thought it was a bit over-the-top and detracted from the story somewhat. I would like to have seen some regret or even remorse from Brittany.

Enjoyable story!

5

Was very much enjoying it and heading towards 5* but eventually settled on 4. Just lost a bit towards the end I thought, perhaps just a little long but hark at me, what do I know?

Very enjoyable read, thank you.

I liked this story. The references to other stories, Marc LaValliere, the Canadian painter of his married mistress in the nude (from Quebec, I believe), and the typical sleazy lawyer who has all the right people bought and in his pocket, added to the fun. 5 * from me!

Joshua Calvert, just needed to drive away in the Lady Macbeth and this would have made my night

25 years of literotica in this story…just saying!

What a hoot! Rollicking fun! Thanks for sharing!

(It's George Anderson, BTW)

A bit tedious in places, so deduct a point.

Thanks for the work.

A little wordy in places. Love the Lit references through the story. Great story.

I have come to the conclusion that Joshua Calvert needs his own category in L/W. Great story Tomh1966.

Pros: the good guy gets a great upgrade with his new wife. Lizard woman was hilarious! The perp was completely humiliated.

Cons: a bit too much back story and detail. However, Lizard woman was so funny that it bumped the rating up to five stars from me!

Wow, that was a lot! Fun read! Thanks for sharing.

George Anderson, not Armstrong.

Really the only criticism I can make.

5*

I loved the nod to this site when searching for signs of cheating but felt you overplayed it a bit. I was surprised his brother wasn’t his best man or mentioned that he was at the wedding. It would have played better with the ending. The Marc reference made me chuckle, but did add to my earlier comment. 4.3*

I enjoyed the way characters and actions from other other stories were included.

This was without a doubt the greatest thing I have ever read on Lit!! I would give it 100* if I could!!

Great read. Thank you

It was George Anderson, not Armstrong. If you keep practicing you might become 70% as good as he is. 3*

Enjoyed the humor immensely.

The relationship with Amanda was sweet if entirely predictable.

Found it a bit odd that we got the entire scoop about how the business was grown and how each employee came to work there. Yet, the only thing we find out about Brittany was they met, they married and then she cheated.

It almost felt like Brittany was included in the story just so the author could put this in the LW section rather than posting this as a Romance.

Pretty good. But your MC was such a clueless dork with Amanda. He lacked self-confidence. So how did he get his first wife? D

What a great story with all the references put in. I had to laugh at a commentor who corrected you about the last lines, the mentioning of G. Armstrong joke went over his head!

OK then:

Yogi Bear is smarter than the average bear,

Yogi Bear is always in the ranger's hair.

At a picnic table you will find him there

Stuffing down more goodies than the average bear.

He will sleep till noon but before it's dark,

He'll have every picnic basket that's in Jellystone Park.

Yogi has it better than a millionaire

That's because he's smarter than the average bear.

That by far was the best story I have read here in a long time. very entertaining . 5 stars and you have a new fan

I havn't seen any c24j stories

Well told and GREAT FUN!!

5 stars

Witty, engaging, enjoyable.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry I can only score this five stars and no more.

Absolutely hilarious with the reference to other stories and tropes.

I realise I shouldn't let reality interfere with this sort of tale, but how was Amanda aware of Britany and Billy's meal?

I seem to be linking my comments to pieces of music involving characters recently. Today's offer:

"I've often heard her jingle

It's never struck a chord

With a smile as bright as sunshine

She called me through the poster

And welcomed me aboard

She led me she fed me

She read me like a book

But I'm hiding in the small print

Won't you take another look?"

Copyright, Steward, Godley and Gouldman.

Line mentioning the name avoided as it is a contraction.

If you don't know it, look up the lyrics, the song is well worth listening to.

5 stars for great BRILW (I just wish there were future babies mentioned); and the video revenge in the end Quite enjoyable, thanks! I didn't really enjoy most of "literotica inside jokes" to be honest, just felt out of place; but the rest of the story was pretty good so I just ignored that as extra filler.

/

P.S. In general, I feel that a woman who wants to show her private parts to others, is more likely to cheat; but you're the author and if you as an author decided she's actually loyal, i defer to that :)

Liked it a lot and good to see that you can keep your tongue where it belongs...Largely, in or around a cheek.

Wow! What a great story for 10 Big Blazing Stars. Only one thing I need to correct, Marc LaValliere is "George Anderson's" Character. LOL other wise it was a Fantastic read. Fantastic and Epic story!! Epic! Amazing Life story, It made me wish I was Joshua! LOL Thank you for your Great Effort in writing this story, it was a wonder way to spend part of this afternoon. Reading your story. Imagine having a wife with "NO Modesty" and that runs around Naked all the time. LOL Who could ever ask for anything more in a Wife and Best friend. Lizard woman was the perfect ending for "Billy the Douche" LOL that was a perfect ending being put on the web and told about on the radio show! LOL Great Writing, Perfect Job. Thank You so Very Much! Buster2U

5 Stars just for having a Die in a FIRE reference for a character that deserves it!

ZK

I enjoyed our story, and since I am (sometimes) a patient reader, I even liked the somewhat lengthy format. It is a story about what good can come from people if they are mindful and care. I think it needed the background of bad and careless cheaters for contrast. Solid 5*

I'm only sorry that it ended. Fun story, thank you for sharing your creativity.

Liked it except there was tooo much "filler".

Author: "If you want something realistic, hit the back button hard. Actually you are on the wrong website if you want a realistic story."

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Nonsense at all. Many tales in this LW category are very much realistic, even if they never happened. Many tales start saying that the story is based on real events, and in the comments we can often see readers saying that the events narrated in the tale happend to them too. So, what's the point in asserting that these LW tales are not realistic ? They are not talking about elfs, orcs or fairies, but human beings in very much realistic situations (not always of course).

Loved it, all the tropes, this would have been great for the 25 years lit celebration event, either way, 5 stars.

One thing that grated on me was his cluelessness/boyscout conversations, and maybe instead of putting a disclaimer that divorce takes 2 months in your universe, could have made use of douchebags connections to get it expedited. Otherwise, great work.

Great story .5stars

Lots of words with no story. Boring.

Is it true that your MC has a fetish for fake tits?

A solid 5 from me. The humor was very evident and expressive, quite enjoyable.

Interesting idea, bad really badly written, filled with useless fillers and utterly boring. Too much nonsense for something that could have been written in just two good pages. Just skimming all the time. Maybe next time it will be shorter and more coherent.

Not as good as it could have been. Frankly, all of tne references to LW tropes was distracting.

.

As well, even though the comical beat down of Brittany by Lizard Woman was clearly Michal, she basically got away with her adultery without much pain.

.

3 ***

Holy shit, where to even start? The pot was screaming that the kettle is black one. Calling out cliches doesn’t give you some kind of pass at wallowing in them yourself. Hell, you actually got me. You were patting yourself on the back so hard, I was sure for half a second that there was actually something clever coming. Nope; just an insane amount of padding around self-insert infantilism.

6 stars.

5 for the story.

3 for barbecuing Marc Lavalier

1 for the Elvis impersonator

1 for lizard woman

1 for making fun of at least a dozen common tropes.

-5 for Joshua not having an attack helicopter.

Fun, funny, entertaining. Everything a story like this ought to be.

PS the added bonus of the references to so many other stories made me smile as well. Thanks, Buster2U

Wonderful story, well crafted and beautifully written.

Loved the humor. It added to a good plot. Thanks for the enjoyable read.

I liked it although not a big fan of the sarcasm used when the slut was telling him like it was. Still an enjoyable read.

Well, this was a romp and a half!

This author is just plain fun. Whimsical treatment of many cliches. Over-the-top? Pretty much,..... but no less fun. Great read!

Probably…. No, absolutely…. The best story I’ve read here. Loved the humor, LW references, and the MC’s thoughts on cuckoldry (I mean, seriously…..ew, and don’t even get me started on the whole cock cage thing). The whole unrealistic “I’m going away for the weekend and you have to accept it” thing as well as ending up almost immediately with his great, but younger and prettier, love is a bit formulaic but hey - this is Lit LW after all so it’s just part of the deal. 4.9 stars! Well done, sir!

A fun and silly read, even though it dragged badly toward the ending. Five stars for the fun.

JPB

Wonderfully hilarious and the Marc L. mention was great!

Didn't particularly care for the intro, story started out like a typical LW story with a cheating wife, a predator boss and lots of threats. Lots of juicy possibilites. Then not much happened. Hisex-wife slips away with a whimper, his PA seduces him and you end with a Three Stooges ending. Pretty pedestrian.

Not bad, but the “not appropriate” bit became really repetitive and overdone. Twice would have been more than enough.

I enjoyed this. Thank you for your work and submitting it!

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Be well!

While I was familiar with Yogi, the stooges, the kitchen sink etc. I hadn’t heard of a Dutch oven other than as a cooking device. So I did learn something. Often the lack of realism ruins a story but here the amusement value made up for it.

Tedious and overplayed tropes of "main character is such a great guy and is being shown off by his employees for how great of a guy he is". The whole bit about the "going off script" part went on WAAAAAAAAAAAAY too long.

This story would have been half as long, and much more readable, if you cut out all of the extraneous crap that has no bearing on the actual story. Going on and on about reading stories, or every detail about the MC's employee's apartment is a waste of time, and loses your readers. Bottom line; if it's not pertinant, and if it doesn't move the story along, don't include it.

1 star and only because of the violence.

The rest of the story was quite funny and rated 4 stars.

I liked most of it, however, you do seem to go on and on and on, about certain subjects - you might need to tune that down a bit.

Merry Xmas and have a nice day.

I really liked this story. Regarding the party at the Outback Steakhouse: “ This is what you have caused. This is your employees and their wives or girlfriends and their kids.” I’m wondering if the kids enjoyed seeing the 3 woman topless? Or what were they doing when the adults went into the bar?

Truly loved, and often giggled, at the other LW story references. Very well done.

Good story for its type, and I consider any extra-marital sex ending in divorce as BTB. I would give a standard BTB trope story a 3, but this deserves at least a 4. So, well done!

Thanks for a fun read!

Very funny. Loved the Marc L reference

Very funny and an excellent read. 5*

Yes, yes there were numerous references to a number of stories, plots and characters.

This is by a mile the most hilarious story I have read on LitE. Kudos!

So funny! 5**

First chapter? Worth all the rest! And the rest were pretty good.

"Amanda was talking to Margaret, Amanda, and Hank" - It was nice of her to include herself in the conversation, although I prefer to be alone when talking to myself.

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Sadly, that was not an isolated mistake. There were lots of missing words, extra words, and just plain wrong words.

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Overall, it was a pretty good story. However, it suffered from not only the mistakes I already mentioned, but from a writer who apparently felt the need to prove they could be as much of an over-the-top douchebag as certain trolls in this category. Luckily that decreased as the story progressed, but it still left a bad taste in my mouth.

LMAO Delightful!

Gave it 2* and I only got to the end of page 3. HATE drinking. HATE clubbing and dancing. HATE going to "tittie" bars (a complete waste of time) and Sandy was worthless. If you're going to have sex with someone, there should be some meaning to it. A possible future. Sex just for the sake of having it, even after being cheated on, is sooooo boring. I'd rather be a hermit.

What a delightful, well written story. Thanks for sharing it with us. 5*.

Yep that was a lot of fun, you enjoyed that didn’t you

BTW GeorgevAnderson, not George Armstrong!!!!

But who care we all knew who you meant

Scores 5/5

Jens is Danish not Greek. So a Viking analogy would be better.

Is the citing of “George Armstrong” rather than “George Anderson” a mistake ... or a backhanded reference to G.A. Custer?

Regardless of your attempt, its apparent the whore wife traded up, and has no regrets. Given the inane lame absurd personality of the stupid cuck husband I can't really blame her for wanting something better. Or at least something different. I had to skip entire paragraphs to get past all the pointless corny high school humor being displayed; embarrassing you think that shit is interesting or funny. He let the whore and the predator asshole completely disrespect and diminish him. The asshole predator should have ended up in a wheel chair, shitting into a plastic bag for the rest of his life. But, ooh, ooh, I might get in trouble. Yeah, even the whore wife knew the wimpy cuck would do nothing more than posture and talk. So he divorced her, she didn't want him anymore anyway. Boy, that showed her. Showed her that she was right. Glad Amanda has her sights set so low, maybe she will hang around longer.

Had to bail after 3 pages. It was funny how this author attempted to lampoon all the other cliche’ heavy author’s stories, then wrote one containing all the same ones! I know the author thinks he’s clever, but the facts (number of followers) would indicate otherwise.

Excellent story. Not over the top with stuff that could never happen.

Why do you make fun of so many other writers’ works? It was borderline obnoxious.

I enjoyed the humor

Very clever. Nice tie ins with references to artist from Canada, wooden bridge, Mark L and several others

Brilliant 5 star story! Loved the humor very much. lots of chuckling in this one. Worthy of 5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE FLAMING NOVA STARS and a BIG thanks Tom, love your work!

Nice!

Hot damn.

Ed

You made the tried and true feel fresh again. Very nice.

Entertaining, fast paced, and a much more "good guy wins" end than most of the type! Keep writing!

This was probably 50% longer than it needed to be. What an incredible slog this was, just a really boring bundle of clichés with unlikeable characters.

Well worth reading, good humour and not to dark.

Very entertaining loved it! Solid 5-star effort.

Well done. I don’t think you missed a trope. Five stars *****

Gotta luv it when the good folks win

Shame. It started so well. I enjoyed picking up the references one by one. Then they finished and the story began to drag. OK, falling in love with the employee is another trope, but I found it a bit tiresome.

Sometimes 'less is more'.

Could only give it a 3 in the end.

Repeat ; shame.

Nicely done.

It got a little repetitious at times. I think we heard more times than necessary how Joshua’s employees felt like family. Same for it not being inappropriate though be with Amanda since she went after him.

Wonderfully silly! 5-stars, of course.

A winner: 5*****!

Not easy to read... I would have loved more BTB at the right moment, not so long at the end...

5 stars. Typically not a fan of longer stories, but this one held my attention. I loved the mix of tropes w/ this writer's almost-4th-wall-breaking writing. Very entertaining.