by dbrains
You're a pretty good writer, but blah, blah, blah. This thing is too drawn out! Don't bother with chapter three. I don't think I could stay awake...
Drawn out - yes but definatly worth the read
Love how much detail your putting in. Keep up the good work
Definatly eager to read more
Good development of the two and you are doing well to build the suspense here. Given this I will be following and reading your other work. I look forward to the next chapter
For those of you who think I get long winded, I have to say that I've struggled with that, believe it or not. These few stories I've submitted are the only things I've written for others to read and it turns out, it's not that easy to get things right. So, I'm still working on that. I'll try control myself.
Really enjoying this story..the build up...the tease...the whole thing...keep it up. Looking forward to reading on!