I Hate My Life Pt. 02

Shannon says, "Mmmm, mmmmm," as she is taking in my special sauce. She pulls away; Rose fastens her lips to my cock and suctions up anything that I have remaining. They both look at me as they kiss and giggle. I'm blown away and fall onto a bench seat. They both giggle at me. Shannon cleans my cock this time and puts away her breasts.

Shannon says in a deep sexy voice, "Try on some pants, now that you can put them on." They giggle some more.

We blew $25,000 at that store but came out with a ton of clothes, shoes, bathing suits, and beach towels. Today is Monday; I audition on Wednesday. Tomorrow, we are going to Shannon's for dinner. Tonight, we are on our own.

Clubs are off-limits right now for me. We go to a nice restaurant with expensive food, small plates, but excellent food. Rose wants to go dancing at a club. I suggest that just because I can't doesn't mean they can't. They all go out, and Uncle Vito stays with me. We go back to my room.

It's a beautiful room. Top floor, gorgeous view of the city's downtown. Lots of lights from cars, businesses and streetlamps light up the city. The room is tastefully decorated with light blue colors. It contains chairs, couches, tables, and a king-sized bed. I was hoping to have someone fill that bed.

I ask Vito, "Are they safe?"

He looks at me sadly, "Yes. ... But they won't be coming home tonight."

I tell Vito, "Lock both doors, I don't want to be disturbed tonight or tomorrow unless it's an emergency."

He looks sad but says, "Ok, boss."

I sleep in my boxers, alone, in a huge bed that sleeps a bunch of people. It's been a long time since I have been this alone in my life. I thought my sisters were finally close to me. First chance they get, they all run off with other guys. That hurts a lot more than I expected it to.

+++++

The next morning, I hear banging on the common door between my room and the one the girls share. After enough banging, Vito answers the door.

He is annoyed and surly, he answers it by saying, "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT? What is so God damn important that you must wake up half the hotel?"

Maria is amazed, "We're ready for breakfast."

Vito is perfect, "Well, go have breakfast." He closes the door on them.

There is a knock on the door again.

Vito is pissed, "WHAT! Did I not tell you to go? Can you not function without your brother? Go!"

He tried to close the door, but Maria tries to squeeze by him. She got shoved back."

Vito is amazed, "What's wrong with you people? Where were you last night?" Nobody wants to answer that question. "Is it so hard to believe a fan of his wore his ass out last night? I don't need to explain his personal life to you. He didn't ignore you for eighteen years like you did him. That girl was right, abuse comes in all types. Go downstairs and eat breakfast. Leave him alone, you all have done enough to him."

They lost all their thunder and have breakfast down in the dining room. I go back to bed.

+++++

I hear a knock on the door, and they call out "Room service."

Uncle Vito has his gun out and hands me his backup. We are standing in the doorway, half-concealed when he says, "Come in?"

In walk my sisters with a breakfast plate and a cup of coffee. They are startled to see two guns facing them.

Vito yells, "Dammit, you trying to get yourself killed?"

Rose isn't taking any crap, "No food was ordered from this room, so we brought up some."

Anna brings it into my room, I'm under the sheets now.

After setting down the food on a side table, an open hand comes my way, I grab it.

Anna yells, "I don't smell sex in here. You didn't have a woman last night. Why lie to us?"

I ask, "What were my words? I didn't say anything. Uncle Vito said that. Better ask him."

They didn't need to, "I'm sick and tired of the way you treat your brother. His whole life, you ignored him. You almost let him die. Your grandmother had to step in. Then all three of you shack up with a guy and fuck his brains out while he is stuck here with me. Why are you even out here? Who invited you to California, a friend, coworker? Do you have talent? What did each of you do to warrant being in California? You know your brother. He is tired, needs his rest, so you three, out."

Maria says, "I can help, I can keep him warm."

Vito scares me when he says, "So can I, get out." That is an image I really don't want to think about.

Rose asks, "What about Shannon?"

I say, "Reschedule for some other time, or go without me."

They leave.

As I eat the plate of food, Uncle Vito says to me, "You're playing a dangerous game, my boy."

I'm sad as I say, "I have no moves, I'm in checkmate. I'm going back to bed and sulk all day. I would like some orange juice and chicken soup for lunch at noon. Wake me for that. I'm going back to sleep."

+++++

I wake up to a room full of people. My three sisters, Shannon, and another woman I have never met, but I'm betting it's her sister, roommate, and lover. This is going to be interesting.

I'm annoyed, "Why all the drama. I thought I was clear; I only wanted an orange juice and chicken soup. Instead, I got three sisters that hate me, a friend, and her sister. Where did I go wrong? I just want to relax for tomorrow's audition, not drag me through the mud with everything I did wrong.

"I'm sorry to my sisters, I made unrealistic assumptions, I'll get over it. I like Shannon, we're ok, I have no idea why your sister, roommate, ..., and lover, is here."

Shannon covers her face, "How did you know?"

I deadpan, "I'm gullible, not stupid."

Talking to my sisters now, "You three, out. Go sleep, eat, go dancing again, I don't care, I will leave tickets for you tomorrow."

They start whining.

I slam my hand down on the side table, "Enough! You three are way too much drama right now. I don't need that, you're not helping. I will sit quietly, that is what I do best and watch the other people. Go."

They have no reply, Uncle Vito ushers them out.

For three hours, we talk about depressions, and mental pain, two things very fresh on my mind right now.

After they leave, I ask Anna to come in.

Anna steps in my room, I point to the side of my bed, for her to sit down, so we can talk.

I ask Anna, "Since you have the golden nose, what do you smell?"

Anna inhales deeply, "I smell two nice fragrances. Since it's not your cologne, I would assume it was Shannon and her sister."

I try again, "No sex?"

She looks sad, "No, no sex. You don't understand, we were mad, jealous of Shannon."

I look her in the eyes, "It doesn't matter, this is about me."

That startled her.

I continue with her mouth open, still in shock, "I put unrealistic expectations on you three. You should date. You should fall in love. You should have a great life. Why not, you deserve it, don't you?"

Anna is waiting for the punch line, "What about you?"

I laugh at her, and then say, "Me? How can I find love when I have no idea what it is? I never felt it, I never had it. For eighteen years of my life, I was a thing. I was used for this and that, then put back in the box until I was needed again. I'm almost nineteen and still haven't driven a car. It's a right every sixteen-year-old kid with enough money gets. I'm just being used by the system.

"I was going to call a friend last night. The only one I ever had was killed the night I tried to run away. I'm going to stay out here until the finals. Then they will come for me and take me home. They will have to kill me this time. This time, I will fight, so they're forced to go far enough. Before the finals, I'll talk to each of you. Until then, I have nothing more to say. Please leave."

Anna is in tears; she wants to hug me. I just don't care anymore. She runs back to her room.

I yell out, "Uncle Vito, lock the doors, please. If I'm still sleeping at 7:00 AM, wake me up, please."

I go to bed.

+++++

The next morning, I'm woken up at 7:00 AM.

Sophia is sitting on the edge of the bed, rocking me awake.

Her first question, "Are you going to kill yourself?"

I answer just as bluntly, "No, I expect you or Grandma will order it done. I need my own life. I'm sick and tired of being treated like a child."

She smiles, "So, yesterday's comments were the comments of a sane adult?"

I reply, "No, those comments were calculated to cause a ripple in life. My life is loveless and too controlled. I'll die without freedom. My sisters can find love, why not me? All of you killed every relationship I had with a woman. The girls at school were so afraid they wouldn't even look at me. Then my own sisters ignore me, my mother wants me killed, and my grandmother almost does it. I can't live like this."

"You understand that if we disown you, everything goes with it. Us, the protection, and all the money. You'll be broke, away from home, no income, no food, you have no ride to the audition in a few days without our help. You don't have a driver's license to prove who you are."

I look down, "You would make me a homeless beggar, just to prove the point. I guess that proves me right, nobody ever did love me in this family. Look, just tell me how badly you want to hurt me? Is it crack-addict, living in a tent under the highway, living in a shelter, begging for money, or dead? How far do you want to humiliate me?"

Sophia says to me, "Hey, you want this, not me. I didn't ask for this."

I get up, look through the dresser, and I find the clothes that I came to California in. I put those clothes back on. I give Uncle Vito a hug; and thank him for all he has done. I don't even look at my sister as I close the door and walk down the hallway. I can't believe my life has become so messed up. I wait at the elevator door, waiting for the door to open.

No sister asking me to come back. I really didn't think they would go through with it. I don't see how they win. I'm on a street corner, where do I go? I need money to eat. I need a job. Several places are hiring, but without a Social Security card, and some other photo ID card, no way I can get a job. I'm fucked. They might win, I won't last long with no eating or drinking.

There is a park here, and it's shaded. I will sit here. I sat there all day. Then I followed the other homeless people to an underpass. I get weaker and weaker as the days go by. Me and my clothes are dirty, smelly, and ragged. I'm gross.

Finally, on Friday, I gave up. I pass out on a park bench. I feel a kid poking me with a stick.

A kid yells out, "Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom ..."

Finally, the mother yells, "WHAT! What is so important?"

The kid whispers, "I found a dead man."

Why can't they just leave me alone?

I hear the mother on the phone, "Yes, I found him. Yes. Here. Memorial Park on 3rd and Main. Leyla Ford. Do I get the money? Yes, I will stay on the phone, I want my money."

+++++

They ask me a series of questions, I can't focus, I don't even try to answer.

The white-coated guys say sorry, "We get this one first, I'll meet you at County Memorial."

I feel me jostling around, and then off we go. I'm given some shots, and I fall asleep.

+++++

I'm handcuffed to the bed. Why?

I look at the cute nurse, "Why?" I jingle my handcuffs.

She smiles at me, "You're involved in a murder investigation."

I reply, "I didn't kill anyone."

She laughs, "No, silly, you're the one that's dead."

I ask while I'm wondering why "Can't you just tell them I'm not dead?"

She stops what she is doing, "Don't you have any clue as to what's going on? You've been the first thing on the news all week."

I'm annoyed, "I got disowned by the mob. That means friends, family, money, everything was taken from me. I was never allowed to have a driver's license or a car. No ID means I can't get a job. No money, I can't eat. They left me with nothing. Now my career as a singer is shot as well. They really fucked me over. I'm so weak; I can't even sit up right now. I might be better off dead.

The nurse calls out, "Monica, can you help here, please?" She comes over. "I need you to wash him up, please. People will be stopping by, let's make him presentable, ok?" She smiles as she leaves.

+++++

Two hours later some TV cameras show up, wanting an interview.

The pretty lady report asks, "What is your name?"

I reply, "Marco."

She asks, "No last name?"

I replay, "Not anymore. My family took it from me."

She asks me, "How do they prove who you are?"

With tears in my eyes, "Who am I? I have no friends or family, no money, no job, no way to get a job because I have no ID."

Her next question is odd, "How old are you?"

I reply, "Eighteen."

She states as a question, "The police said you were from New York?"

I answer, "Yes, that's correct. I now live in Memorial Park. First bench on the right."

She asks me, "Can you sing me a song, I bet that will ID you."

I reply softly, "I haven't the strength, I haven't eaten in five days."

The lady looks at me with tears in her eyes, "Give me anything you have."

I'm very soft as I sing a haunting rendition of REM's "Everyone Hurts." I did give myself credit for hitting all the notes. Zero power in my voice, it was pathetic. I start to cry, which makes me cover my face. I don't want people to see me. Then it hit me as to how far I have fallen, how nobody needs me anymore. Yes, I'm low on the self-esteem right now. In fact, you might say, this was rock bottom when I look back on this.

I hear a lot of sniffling in my room, I guess that song got to them. Yet here I am, tethered to a hospital bed because they're afraid that I might leave and threaten their murder investigation. That would teach my ex-family.

After the dog and pony show is gone, I see myself on TV. It seems that in New York, they thought my family killed me. They could not produce my body. The talent show was begging people to look for me, they offered a reward. That's the last thing I need right now. Hell, I can't even collect the prize. What a waste. I know Shannon would help me, but that would put her job in jeopardy. I can't do that to her.

They got the new footage of me, rest assured America, I'm alive. The feel-good story of the day. In a week, I will be right back here. This is no way to live. Finally, something funny, the talent show will have an update on my condition. It turns out there is a huge debate on what to do about me. Since I won't perform, they must kick me off, but some still want to give me a chance. Others say I cry too much and should just be shot. That's great. They don't have much choice; they will kick me unless I can get there in one hour.

I'm sure you have figured out how this goes. The talent contest got the video from the reporter. They submitted it as my performance. People cried dry. The judges are a mess, everyone is speechless. I turn off the TV. I need my sleep; my life is going to really get weird now.

Chapter 7 -- Life did get weird

When I wake up, Shannon, Maria, and Uncle Vito are all in my room.

Maria seems very happy; she has news for me.

Maria starts, "The family has reconsidered its decision, you are back in the family.

I shatter her world, "I don't accept."

Maria's world explodes.

Uncle Vito says, "I told you so. He would rather die than be under the family rules. Come on, we can still be back by dinner time."

Maria stuns us all, "No. I'm staying."

I beat Vito to the objection, "Maria, please don't do this. I'm toxic waste. Nothing good comes from being with me. Go back to New York. Find a good guy and have a nice cushy life. I'm a dead end."

Vito takes her hand and pulls; she isn't going anywhere.

Maria is adamant, "I'm with Marco. The end. Hi Shannon, nice to see you again."

Shannon asks me, "Did you see last night's episode?"

I sigh, "I saw enough of it. They stole my news interview."

Shannon laughs hard at me, "Um, no. We showed up to record your audition. The nurse comes out and says, you're so bitter and sad that no way will you do the audition. However, if we take in the news camera, have them ask you to sing, and you did, then we have the "audition." We shared the footage with the news station. That reporter was actually a producer of ours. She was awesome, you made it to the next round. Your next round needs to be more upbeat, though, you've killed emotional and sad."

I laugh at her, "In case you haven't noticed, I now have two mouths to feed, still no way no earn a living, and I'm damn well not doing anything to hurt your career. I don't have time to go singing and trying to win a contest. No, that part of my life is over.

"Instead of doing something useful, I'm stuck here, handcuffed to the bed because I'm part of a murder investigation."

Uncle Vito looks at me, "Boss, I need to take Maria back. I can't go back without her."

Maria threatens him, "You lay one finger on me, and I will yell 'help' at the top of my lungs. It looks like there are plenty of officers outside there."

My lunch comes.

I look at the pathetically small meal, "Maria, half is yours. You eat first unless Vito feeds you."

Shannon looks sad, "I have plenty of money."

I tell her, "News headlines, judge gives contestant money. Many viewers yell unfair advantage. They say the game is rigged; the judges play favorites. They will fire your ass in a heartbeat. You make way too much money for that. The best thing you can do is run away from me."

She runs out of the room, crying.

The nurse walks in, "You sure have a way with women."

I look at her, "You have no idea."

+++++

I wake up the next morning, and two eyes are inches from my face. She kisses me. It's a long, slow, steamy, passionate kiss that lingers. She pulls away, and its ... not at all who I was expecting.

I'm sad, "No, you can't do this to yourself. Go back home. I'm a train wreck."

Anna has tears in her eyes, "I can't go back, not without you. I did pool our money, and I opened a new checking account with a large nationwide bank. We will be ok for a while. Things out here are expensive; we'll need to be frugal to even last the two weeks. If you lose, it could be weeks before a record deal is made. I don't know how we do this."

Breakfast shows up. Sorry, two breakfasts show up, one for me, and one for Maria.

Nurse Becky comes in shortly after delivery, "I can't have you interfering with his progress. He needs calories to survive. Now, I have a request for you." Me? "Yes, you. We have a bunch of elderly patients here, many doing dialysis. They're stuck here for a good four hours. If I stack the room with patients from around the hospital, could you do a mini-concert for me?"

I'm suddenly sad, "Nurse Becky, I would love to help out. Any day I'm here, put me down."

Now she has tears in her eyes. She texts someone.

Nurse Becks tells me, "You have no insurance, you're leaving tomorrow."

I smile at her, "Then you better book me early or on my way out."

Three hours later, Maria wheels me into a large room that is packed with people getting treatment, and others, sitting in chairs, and wheelchairs. There is a bunch of them in a small space. No microphone, no stage, no lights, no music, just me. I'm placed in the center of the room.

For two hours, I sing Rat Pack songs. The place is silent other than the occasional patient being replaced, and the noise of the medical equipment. I avoided anything that might be sad, like lost love. I add a few Billy Joel songs, because really, who doesn't like him. I end the show with James Brown's "I Feel Good."

Not much in the way of hooting and hollering, but they seem happy. We go back to my room, and that was the excitement of the day.

Sunday is more of the same. I continue getting two meals, Anna is being given food by her bodyguard, Paul. I do the exact same concert, with the same results, and then I'm released. I'm wheeled up to the curb, and I stand up on two shaky legs. Nurse Becky and a bunch of others are there to see me off.