I Love To Love You Baby

*Stories from the real world 3

This story is slightly autobiographical.

***

"Look at this spot! Right next to the room."

"And look at that crazy view of the beach."

It was the end of the summer, the day after Labor Day, 1988, and Big Al and I were in Seaside Heights, New Jersey. Vacation. This was my third time away without my parents. I had turned twenty-three in January, I was one month older than Al and we had a perfect parking spot.

We grabbed our bags and boom box and made our way inside. The Oceanfront Hotel was empty. The two of us walked right up to the desk.

"Hello, we have a reservation." Big Al told the women behind the desk. She looked bored, she was drinking Mello Yello and smoking.

"Names?"

"Alyssa Cafferty and Sabrina Langton." Al told her. The woman handed us a key and went back to her drink.

"Um, where is everybody?" I asked before we completely lost her attention."

Miss Mello shrugged, "School started, summer's over."

Summer might have been over for her, but it still existed for us. We moved into the room and opened the blinds to view the sunset over the beach. We had bottles of sangria and a cooler full of wine coolers. We propped the door open with a chair.

We then fished into the ice and pulled out our postgame drinks. Twisted the caps and cheered. "VACATION!" We drank, it was awful. "CHEERS." We didn't care we were just glad to be out of the city and now on The Shore.

I put on the boom box and Donna Summer blasted out of the speakers.

'I love to love you baby

I love to love you baby

I love to love you baby'

It was the song of our summer, Donna Summer. The hotel was empty so we played it loud.

***

One Month Ago...

'I love to love you baby'

We were in my little car, a tan Dodge Colt, life had gotten complicated. Both Al and I loved this song it wasn't complicated at all, it had so few lines.

'I love to love you baby'

We were both wearing sundresses. Mine was blue and Al's was red. We were full of flowers. Alyssa was in the passenger seat, a wine cooler between her thighs, (That was the cup holder in the '80s). She was beautiful. She had long straight brown hair, it reached her ass and she was always sitting on it. She also had perfect C-cup breasts, the guys in her high school called her Big Al, the name stuck.

"You know what we have to do, don't you?" She looked at me.

"Um, make a right?"

"No, come on, about our relationships."

"What?"

"Well, first of all, we need new ones."

She was right. I was dating a girl named Donna, well as my male self. I was a crossdresser and Al was the only one who officially knew. Al was nosy. I lived on the first floor of her house with her parents. It was a two-family split level and they split it up into three apartments on the first floor. It was small but it was my own and I loved living in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn.

Big Al was snooping in my closet and discovered all of my girl clothes. The tiny bit that I had. When I came in from the kitchen with drinks for the two of us, she was holding two pairs of heels.

"Are these Donna's?" I didn't know what to say. The crazy thing was, I had used that as my femme name for years since I was about eight or nine. Now I was dating a girl with the same name.

"Yes?"

"She wears a size eight and a half? She's got tiny hands and tiny feet, if she was a guy she would have a tiny dick." We laughed, she was always hysterical. "These are not hers." She threw them at me.

So I told her, she didn't seem to care. She made me get dressed up, but she didn't approve of my fashion sense. After a goodnight's sleep on that info she became a little more excited, she now had a mission. I now had someone whose main goal was to make me a better woman. The next night she made me change my image and then she made me change my name. That was easy I had one ready.

'I love to love you baby'

"Sabrina make this song louder." So I did. "We need to dump both Donna and Dan, the two of them are so meh..."

"What?"

"Ugh... We need to dump Donna and Dan!"

"Okay done," I told her putting a strand of my long blonde wig behind my ear.

"Next, we are getting our hair done, I'm cutting mine off and you are getting a new look." I could feel her looking at me.

"Um, okay, maybe."

"And last, we are going on vacation, two girls at The Jersey Shore. My parents used to take us there every summer, god it was so great. I always hooked up. We are going to be so popular."

'I love to love you baby'

I had a part-time job at an art gallery in the City and I loved it, but we both worked at a bank. It was forty-five minutes away by train. I got her the job. I was her boss and we had so much fun. They wouldn't give us time off in August, we had no seniority, but they gave us off the second week in September. They were doing us a big favor.

Al made me pack only my girl clothes. I was going to be Sabrina for the whole vacation. The morning before we left, we went to her salon. She cut her hair, more than a foot of it off. We ended up giving it to a friend's mother who made dolls. Now her hair landed right below her shoulders. My hair was just up to my shoulders, but I always wore a wig. The woman at the salon wanted to give me a style like Jennifer Aniston but I didn't want that.

'Madonna?"

"No."

"Princess Diana, Brooke Shields?"

"No, definitely not." I ended up with a blonde bob. Then they died it blonder with a couple of darker streaks through it, messy and sexy. I had nice bangs and my hair went just to my shoulders. I looked so good, but I knew I would have to cut it at the end of the week, I wouldn't be able to go back to work like this. The girls then did our makeup and nails and then we were off. Red lips and red nails.

Seaside Heights was only ninety minutes away.

***

Wednesday

We slept great that first night with the ocean air floating through the window, and six 'Bartles and James' coolers in our belly. The next day we got ready to take on the world.

"I'm going to go save some seats at the pool."

"The pool? There's no one there. Let's just go." So we did.

We brought the styrofoam cooler and the boom box after we slipped into our swimwear. Al was wearing an orange bikini, she barely fit into the top of it. Me? I had on a one-piece, Al made me buy five different bathing suits, one for each time we were probably going in the pool. The one I was wearing the first day was blue with polka dots. It had a little fringe surrounding my boobs. Al wanted me to be the same size as her, so we both had C-cups. I was as thin as her and only a couple of inches taller. She made my boobs out of fabric and sand and they did look and feel incredible once they slipped into my bra or the bra-lets of the bathing suits. I couldn't stop playing with them or adjusting. I loved watching my long red nails on my new boobs. She wanted to call me Big Bree but it didn't have the same ring as Big Al, I didn't need a nickname anyway.

We had the best seats at the pool. Big Al showed lots of cleavage and I showed lots of fringe, and my big hoop earrings swayed in the light September breeze.

It wasn't fun by ourselves, we had no one to show off to. I was completely shaven, I felt gorgeous. I wanted someone to admire my legs in my three-inch plastic heels. We decided to shop instead. We put on denim skirts over our swimwear and went to the Boardwalk. It was the Wednesday after Labor Day and everything was closed, even all of the game rooms, attractions, and restaurants. It was ridiculous, how could summer end so abruptly. We went back to the room.

'I love to love you baby,' blasted once again on the boom box. We were getting a little bored.

"How long is this song," Al asked me, "It never seems to end?"

"Um, it's 16:49."

"Let's look for a shorter song, c'mon." We got dry and headed back towards the pool.

Before we got there Mello Yello called us over. "I got something for you." We followed her into the lobby. "Here you dropped this." She handed me my hoop. My big golden hoop.

I looked at Al, "I have been walking around with only one huge earring all day?"

Mello Yello laughed, "You think anyone is looking at your jewelry with boobs like that, haha..."

***

I made a little contraption so I could wear pierced earrings. It was just an old clip from a broken earring, but I could lay any piece of jewelry in it. It was fallible. Usually, the earring fell into my cleavage.

We were heading to a flea market ten minutes away, the woman at the hotel told us someone in one of the jewelry stalls could make me something better. It was already late and we were bored and hungry, so we got changed and headed into the town. It was an ugly town.

'Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody

With somebody who loves me'

"Ugh, I hate this song." Big All shut off the radio it was quiet in the car. "If we accomplish one thing this week, it's finding a new song. We should change everything, we should start over."

We pulled into a huge parking lot, with a bunch of huge buildings, but only a few cars. We followed the enter sign. Big Al was of course dressed to impress, she was wearing a tight denim dress, showing lots of boobs and legs. Me? I had on a denim skirt and a t-shirt. The shirt had two angels on them, one on each big boob. We both had on heels, Al's were beige and mine were three inches and red. I thought I looked great, I also had my fabric bag with me, it was cyan and had palm trees on it.

Our makeup was perfect too, my eyes looked so big from the false lashes and mascara.

We walked into a luncheonette, the smell of a griddle was overwhelming, I wanted to rush through, so my hair didn't smell like a diner. There were three tables all filled with older men smoking and eating, they were very happy to see us. They all said hello and some even invited us to join them, Al loved it but it made me nervous. I rushed her through.

"You know we are the hottest things to hit this place in years," She laughed and we walked down the aisles with mostly empty stalls. "Here we go." She pointed and we made our way to 'The Jewelry Emporium,' the name was a little misleading.

There was an older man and woman behind the counter, they looked quite busy. The man got up and I told him what I wanted.

He looked at me, "Why don't you just pierce your ears, Mary could do it right now." Mary looked up excited by that prospect.

"No," Big Al saved me, "Sabrina is afraid of blood, we'd be picking her up off the floor."

The man shrugged. "Okay give me half hour. Ben!" He yelled and a young man walked up through the floor. He magically appeared, he was tall and probably around our age. He had a huge smile when he saw the two of us leaning on the counter. He had a nice shy smile.

The old man pointed to us. "Keep these girls busy for a while. Bring 'em back in thirty or so."

Ben looked a little embarrassed as he walked out of the stall. "Sorry, it's so quiet here." Al was still leaning, showing her breasts on the counter, but I could tell he was trying not to look as he walked past. He glanced at me. "Um, hi, are you hungry, not many stalls are open off-season."

"Sure, we could eat." Al told him over her shoulder, "But we are not going back to sausage land for hamburgers."

Ben smiled and we followed him. "Where are you from?"

"Brooklyn," Giving him my sexiest smile.

"Wow." He turned to look at me and then did a slight glance at my legs. "Brooklyn, that's so far."

We went through a maze of buildings, at least three of them and then we ended up in a very dark corridor, all I heard was our heels clicking on the linoleum floor. We saw a green glow as we moved along, we heard and saw people.

"This is the only place to eat." Ben smiled as we walked into Rita's Mexicali Cafe. A little cardboard sign announced its name.

There was a table of about six boys, a little younger than us. "Hey Ben, whatcha got for us?"

Big Al spoke for him, "Keep dreaming boys," And she looked away. It looked like they have been here a while with plates and cups strewn all over their table.

We headed to the counter. There were a lot of things on the wall menu and I never heard of any of them, but it all smelled incredible.

"Um," I looked at our new friend, "Why don't you order for us, we are pretty easy." I smiled.

"When it comes to food." Al grabbed me and we sat down at the furthest table.

Ben ordered while Al whispered to me, keeping an eye on the boys at the other table. "Easy... Don't even think of it, I see you looking at Ben. He is just a kid, we are here to find men."

"I haven't seen a man since we left New York," I looked back over at the table of boys, they were trying to interact with us but Al wasn't having any of it. I crossed my legs and smiled at them, I liked being looked at but I could tell they were looking at Al's breasts and not my legs.

"Don't bother the girls," Ben told the other table, and then he left and said he would get us when everything was ready.

I assumed Rita was the one who brought us over something called 'Sopes,' full of pork, red sauce, lettuce, tomatoes, and cheese. It was of course wonderful. Big Al didn't talk the entire time she ate.

"We are coming back here," I told her. "We should take the Mello Yello lady next time, to say thank you."

When we were finishing up the six boys from the other table came over to talk to us again. I started to get tense as they surrounded us, but Ben showed up and shooed them away.

***

"Try 'em." The old man asked me while Big Al once again laid her breasts on the counter.

"Oh my god they are perfect, they don't even squeeze my earlobes," I giggled. My other ones left a throb in my ears for hours afterward. I threw the old ones into the metal garbage can with a clink. "Thank you," I told him, "And thank Ben." It was the best three dollars I ever spent.

Ben appeared when he heard his name. He just smiled, I could tell he was shy and I was thinking of all the things I could do with a boy like that, but Al made me wave goodbye and pulled me away. I took one more look and waved to Ben.

Soon we were outside, "Men not boys." Big Al reminded me as we headed to my car.

I heard the squeaky door behind us. "Um, girls!" Ben was calling and walking towards us. "If you two are not busy tomorrow, there is a concert." He handed us a flyer, obviously, he tore it off of the wall.

Al looked a little suspicious, but I took the flyer. "Okay, that sounds like fun." I gave him my one heart-melting smile, one that I have practiced in front of my mirror for years, and then we walked away.

"What's your name."

I turned, I felt sexy. He was asking me and not Alyssa. No one ever paid attention to me with her around, she was gorgeous, I was usually invisible.

"Sabrina... See you tomorrow." I held up the flyer.

***

'I love to love you baby'

Donna Summer was back on, I felt so good. I was going to see a boy tomorrow.

Big Al opened her window, "We are not going to wherever that thing is, we are meeting men."

"Meeting Ben?" I laughed, I would have to change her mind.

***

Thursday

After a day at the quiet beach, the quiet pool, and the quiet lobby of the hotel we were back in the room. It took me all day to convince her to go see Ben that night. She wasn't going for it, I had to beg.

Up to that point in my life, I hadn't been with many men. We were drinking a little cup of sangria while we were watching soap operas and I told Al some of my histories with 'the opposite gender.'

"You gave him a handjob on the side of a highway?" She laughed.

"He was a truck driver, it was fun, he made me feel very feminine." (See *Highway in Heels), I then told her about my parents' neighbor, another older man. "He was a rabbi with a pantyhose and foot thing, it was fun. That's how I acquired most of my dresses." (See *A Religious Experience), "I think I'm ready for a boy."

"Thats' it?"

"Well, there was one more, that I don't want to talk about. It didn't work out too well. I'm glad I have you to help me now, I wish I knew you then. I am having all kinds of fun this vacation."

She then gave me her secret history. It must be great being a beautiful female, she had the most incredible sex life. She also had so many friends and was out and about constantly, I was wondering why she ever hung out with me. Then she got up and changed the channel, and walked over and hugged me. "Okay, tonight we will meet up with Ben, you can play with a boy, but I, am still going to look for a man." She drank the rest of her sangria.

I thought it was crazy that she kept on referencing that I wanted to play with a boy, I just wanted to go out. I think I just liked that he was interested in me, I really never had that before. I was quite jealous of her. Alyssa was popular and she always had men and boys interested in her, this was a first for me.

***

'I got a little change in my pocket goin' jing-a-ling-a-ling

Wants to call you on the telephone baby, a-give you a ring'

Back in my car, we were overdressed for Seaside Heights, New Jersey, but Alyssa was excited, once again she thought she found her new song.

"This might be the one, we can decide as we draw this little excursion to a close, ha." She maneuvered in the passenger seat fixing her pantyhose, adjusting her bra, she was always blocking my side mirror. She always looked so good. Me? I looked like I was trying too hard.

From the inside out, I had on my black 36-C bra filled with Alyssa's homemade boobs. I had on black panties and beige pantyhose. Over that, I wore a long-sleeved black top and paired it with another short denim skirt. This one was tighter and it gave my waist and hips some definition. It made me look more like a girl. I had on my short black booties with a two-inch chunky heel and a matching bag. Al painted my lips and nails glossy fire engine red. I wore lots of mascara and my cheeks were slightly pink. My fringe coming down to right below my eyebrows, I looked and felt incredible, I couldn't wait to play with a boy. I couldn't wait to show off my new earrings, big black circles, hanging off of a tight gold clip.

"Will you put this song louder," She yelled.

'My honey my baby, don't put my love upon no shelf

She said don't hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself'

***

We had trouble finding the place with the show, but we followed the smell of marijuana and were soon in front of a plain and crumbling two-story building. There were people outside smoking and drinking beer in cans.

"This looks a little fugazi," Al said as we cruised by in front.

"It will be fun, it's probably the only happening place in this whole town."

Al didn't think so, but she let me park anyway. I checked my makeup in the rearview mirror. We then made our way slowly to the entrance. Having trouble walking on the gravel in our heels. There was a huge Motorcycle guy at the door collecting money.

"Two bucks." He told us, as I fished into my bag. "You know what, if you two girls want to just stand out front a while I'll let you in for free, you would be great advertising." Big Al grabbed the five from my hand and pushed it into his.

"Advertising, sheesh."

We had to walk up a flight of stairs, this definitely wasn't a concert, it was barely worth the two bucks. We got to the top and were about to enter a pretty big space with big dirty windows when I heard my name.

"Sabrina!" I turned, Ben was looking at me. He rushed over, he was pretty excited. "You came, this is great."

Alyssa still wasn't too convinced of this place, "We came, we conquer, we get the heck out of here." She grabbed my sleeve and pulled me more into the room. We ended up on a free beer line.

Ben was so happy to see us, he introduced us to a bunch of guys that came over to try to talk. I felt like we were making him more popular. I could tell he wanted them to know I was with him, it was cute.