by Erosbadwriter
Story line is good but language needs much improvement. The author seems careless about spelling e.g. 'staring' is always spelt as 'starting'. Better take the help of an editor.
Sorry for the spelling error, it was due to auto correct in the app in which I was writing the story I will make sure check the spelling manually in coming works
Good Story and you could make it a long series. Your other story is not as good as this is and also this has a lot more potential for many more stories on same series.
Story is nice but if you don't complete it or release next parts after many many days then people will leave you behind. A good author don't let their audience wait for long.
I can sense a good writer in you, hopefully you keep the momentum right in coming parts of this story.