I Need a New Plaything Ch. 02

"Me?" Mel replied in disbelief. "You're the one who dragged me from the bathroom, rammed your tongue down my throat and felt me up," she replied surprised at her own unselfconscious raunchiness.

"Well....," he stammered as he he couldn't think of a good retort. "You started it," he finally offered still grinning at the absurdity of the conversation.

"Oh good grief! What are you 13?" said an exasperated Mel.

"No I'm not 13. I am a grown man with a raging hard-on that you caused. You're the one that showed up smoking hot in a mini-skirt," said Pete.

"Jeez Pete. How do you stay married?" she asked incredulously. "First of all it's a dress you moron, not a mini skirt. Second it's not that revealing. You're just a horny," she said acting mad but clearly not. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised. You've always been a horn dog."

"Guilty. But that doesn't change the situation. Please Mel you got to help me. It hurts," he said with sad puppy dog eyes.

Mel had seen those eyes before. She had on more than one occasion let that look talk her into giving Pete some form of sexual relief from his constant blue balls.

Mel sighed and looked around. "Get in!" She hissed as she opened the back door and pushed him into the backseat of her car.

"If you ever breath a word of this to anyone I will deny it and then I will come and cut your balls off. Do you understand?" she said.

Pete was drunk, but sober enough to know that his best course of action was to keep his mouth shut.

He just nodded yes.

Once in the car Mel unbuckled his pants and pulled them down to his feet. She hooked her hands in the waistband of his underwear and pulled them down. His hardon sprang out.

It was a beautiful penis. It was the first one she had seen, touched, tasted and allowed into her. It held a lot of fond memories. It was good to see it again. Kind of like a long lost dear friend, she thought as she giggled.

She reached out and took it into her hand and began slowly caressing his shaft being sure to pay attention to the tip and also his balls. Pete's head fell back as he closed his eyes and submitted to the wonderful sensations Mel was providing. Mel couldn't believe she had agreed to do this, but was warming up to the task. Pete's utter enjoyment and the power trip of stroking anther man's penis, knowing he was hers to command, renewed Mel's own arousal.

A few minutes in, Mel felt Pete's hand on the back of her head as he tried to direct her down towards his crotch.

Mel stopped instantly. "Don't push it buddy. You are not getting a blow job. And if you don't get your hand off my head right now you're not even going to get this hand job!"

"You can't blame a guy for trying," he said with a smile as he reach out and grabbed her right breast.

"You're kidding me right?" Mel complained.

"I miss my girls," Pete said sheepishly. "Besides if you let me see and play with them things will move along faster," Pete helpfully offered.

Mel just rolled her eyes, but he did seem to have a point. Besides, it's not like he hasn't seen them a hundred times, she rationalized. So she pulled the pulled the top of her dress and bra down exposing her chest to Pete for the first time since freshman year in college. She then went back to the task at hand as did he.

Before long she could hear his breathing change and saw the signs of his impending ejaculation. Pete was close. Thank goodness she thought. His enthusiastic attention to her breasts was causing her to drift back into a dangerous state of arousal. She started stroking faster. His body all of sudden tensed as the first stream shot out and landed above his shoulder on the seatback.

Damn. He really 'was glad to see me,' she thought with a smile and some inward pride.

The next several streams did not travel as far and landed all over his sport coat and tie.

As soon as he was spent, she immediately readjusted her dress and bra, leaned in, gave him a quick peck on the lips and then commanded him to, "Get out. We both have baby sitters to relieve."

And just like that it was over.

After a day or two of what the hell was I thinking, Mel began to put the event behind her. She excused the behavior by reminding herself she had had too much to drink. She also allowed that Pete was an old boyfriend, and although her actions were technically cheating, she convinced herself that it wasn't as bad when the person that you fooled around with had already seen all there is to see of you, and had done all there is to do to you. Over time she occasionally allowed herself to relive her naughty evening, it made her smile and sometimes tingle, but she was never tempted to repeat it.

Todd, of course, had asked about the evening when he got back from his trip. She had told him who sat at her table and who she hung out with. She let him know Pete was there without Rebecca, and they had spent time catching up and had danced a few times. She said truthfully that she was glad he was there and it was fun relieving old times. Todd was apparently content with her answer and never pressed her for more details.

Pete had tried a couple of times to reenact the fund raiser, but it was never going to happen. Mel was adamant that she had made a mistake and they both needed to get along with their lives and marriages. Chalk it up as a fun, but never to be repeated mistake for old times sake, she remembered telling Pete.

But now back in the kitchen she knew she had a much larger mistake to deal with. Yesterday with Juan wasn't some drunk, French kissing, 3rd base, sympathy hand job for some old boyfriend. It was much worse.

Why did she do it she asked herself for the 100th time since yesterday. Her brain wandered back to all her earlier in the week rationalizations: The affair was ready made - a gift wrapped opportunity that just landed in her lap. It was flattering - she was in her 50s and the tall, handsome, confident Juan chose her. It carried no commitment - she could end the affair any time.

All of these reasons were technically true, she thought, but none of them seemed to be the real reason she connected with Juan. She dug deeper.

It is true that I was intrigued and very curious, she admitted. The thought of uninhibited, illicit sex with a stranger like Juan proved very tempting. He is handsome. He is physically imposing. He is confident and as I found out yesterday he is a very skilled lover as he delivered a morning of amazing sex.

Was that it? Was this about the thrill of experiencing a new man? she thought. She didn't think so, but she pulled on the thread. It was certainly true that my whole purpose to be with Juan was to be fucked by him, she admitted to herself. I didn't need him to do anything else. I didn't need him to take out the trash, pick up his clothes off the floor, run an errand, or wine or dine me. I needed him to sweep me off my feet and fuck my brains out. That's it. In a marriage it's never that straightforward. Sex can never be just sex. It's part of complex relationship where intimacy is intertwined with obligation and expectations. Stupid, little things create small daily irritations and barriers to intimacy. This was also true of big things like feeling insignificant.

"Shit," she choked out. Her last thought stopped her in her tracks. It was like all the tumblers in a lock clicked into place. She knew the instant she thought it, it was true.

Juan wasn't a mid-life crisis or some fling to assuage my insecurity over growing older and becoming less attractive. He was a deliberate choice. A choice I made because everywhere else in my life I am boxed in by my circumstances. Juan allowed me to assert some control over a different path. I am limited by my husband's choices, she acknowledged. I am, for all intents and purposes, on a path that was handed to me. I am becoming more and more insignificant in my own life. For 26 years, all Todd and I did was work for the future; a future that never seemed to come. It was always the next year, the next job, the next promotion. During all those years I was along for the ride, but never got to drive the car.

Well now I've probably steered the car into a fucking ditch, she thought with some irony. I made a monumental, rash decision to live in the moment, and not be a willing accomplice in a life that was constantly focused on tomorrow. Yet in doing all of that, I might very well have ruined the life I am rebelling against, she thought.

Was it worth it? she wondered.

"No," of course, was the right answer. But was it the honest answer? She wasn't sure. I need to try and make it work with Todd, she thought. But I can't go on waiting for him to arrive at a destination that always seems just out of reach. I can't be continuously told this is how it is and this is how it's going to be. I need him to need me, to be willing to sacrifice his precious time for me. I need him to not just be married to me but have a life with me, a life that includes today, not just tomorrow.

Her epiphany, although insightful, didn't address her sadness. Sitting there in the kitchen it felt like she was enveloped inside a dark cloud. She cried again for her marriage, her betrayal, her husband, her loneliness, her private admission that she enjoyed her time with Juan, and her real self that she no longer knew or could find.

Later that same evening.

"Mel you okay? " Todd asked as he shook Mel awake. "It's 7:30 pm. How long have you been sleeping?" He asked.

"Oh. Hey Todd. I'm sorry. I laid down a couple of hours ago and must have fallen asleep," she replied groggily.

"I think I need to take you to urgent care," he said. "Something isn't right."

"Todd I don't need urgent care." Mel replied as her head cleared.

"Well something is wrong," Todd countered.

"Todd I'm not sick."

"Well then what are you?" he asked.

"I don't know. I guess I am a little lonely," she said.

Todd thought for a moment. He knew what he was about to say would not be well received but in typical male fashion he wanted to fix things so he plowed ahead. "Maybe you should think about going back to work. A job where you had set hours and a routine would do you good."

"Todd, really? I say I'm lonely and you say get a job," she replied incredulously. "I don't need a job. What I need is you. Let's go away. Let's leave tomorrow. We need some time together. No obligations or worries. Just us," she offered hopefully.

"Mel you know I can't go," he said.

"You can, but you won't," she corrected.

"Mel that's not fair I have meetings tomorrow and all next week," he said.

"Of course you do. You always do. Todd, cancel the meetings and let's leave," she pleaded.

"Mel I'm taking a week off next month. We have a planned vacation with the kids," he said.

"That's not what I'm talking about!" she said louder than she intended as her frustration grew.

"I thought you were looking forward to seeing the kids?" Todd deflected.

"Damn it Todd! I am looking forward to being with the kids, but I need time with you! Please take the time. Please do this for me," she implored.

Todd was reflective for a moment. He finally said, "I don't know what's going on with you, but I can't get away."

There it is. Another one-way -- take it or leave it -- fight, she thought as bitterness burned in her throat.

She sat up angrily and thought about throwing both barrels at him, but instead just sadly sighed. She didn't have the strength for a knock-down, drag-out fight. Rather she just looked him in the eyes and held his gaze for several seconds.

"Todd, remember this moment." she finally said. "It'll be important one day."

"What do you mean by that?" he asked.

"Just what I said," she responded curtly. "I'm going to stay in bed. I'm tired. Every man for themselves for dinner."

With that she rolled over and turned her back to him, waited for him to leave the bedroom, and then cried again for the umpteenth time that day.

Todd retreated downstairs. He wasn't hungry, but he was scared. He wasn't sure what had just happened, but whatever it was it left him unsettled. In fact, in the entire time he has known Mel, he had never been more troubled by anything she had ever said.