I Need to Tell My Story Pt. 03

Manny, I should describe dear Carlos better. As he walked into the restaurant, he... reminded me of some sailing vessel swabby out of the 1800s. Maybe on Ahab's ship, with a moby dick (forgive me).

His clothing was loose and casual, even too casual for a beer and burger place! Long-sleeved T-shirt with loose trousers with a drawstring, similar to yoga pants. His thick black hair had volume because it was curly, and his complexion was brown, mostly because of sun exposure, I think. His dancing, dark-brown eyes and cropped beard completed the picture. Oh, and I can't forget his endearing smile, the smile that made me forget he was late.

I could tell he was ready for a hug, but I merely put out my feminine hand for him to briefly clasp.

He didn't even apologize for being late. "Hi Jackie," was all he could manage.

"Hello Carlos. Hungry?" There was more meaning to the word than food.

"Yeah, missed breakfast. Could use a beer."

I selected a table for two on the porch, under a sun-shade umbrella. As Carlos settled into a fashionable chair, he let out a sigh.

"Jackie, it's so good to finally have some time with you alone."

"Same here. Ah..... what should we talk about?"

"Well," said Carlos, "I just want to say that I was very fearful that you'd been royally messed up by the accident. I pictured you in a wheelchair, or disfigured -- if that's the word to use -- you, know, but here you are looking as beautiful as ever, with only your amnesia as a result."

"I'm so sorry that I can't remember anything about our relationship, I really am. Did you love me, if I may be so forward?"

"Of course I did! I told you so, so many times. We were about to move in together. We were so simpatico; we were having so much fun."

About that time the waiter showed up for ordering.

I carried on. "Carlos, in the months afterward, you must've been starved for companionship. Have you found a new girlfriend? I really wouldn't hold it against you."

Carlos fumbled for words but recovered quickly. "I had exactly one date. It was actually where a friend had a cousin coming to town and wanted someone to show her around."

(Manny, I had actually learned otherwise. Carlos had dated a woman for a couple months before they broke up.)

"Oh. Was she nice?"

"I hardly remember her. It was just a one-time thing."

"Oh. So, what do you think about me now? I mean, some people have said my personality's changed."

"It has, a little."

"How?"

"Jeez, I don't know. Maybe you seem a little more serious and direct, and not quite as humorous and light. I hope I don't upset you by saying that."

"Not at all. That's what some others said, so, no problem. You know, I could've died out there. Maybe that changed my outlook."

Carlos: "But Jackie, every moment I've been near you since then, I've still felt the same strong attraction for you."

"When you could see I was still mostly intact!" I joked.

"There's the old Jackie coming through," Carlos laughed.

After a wait, we were served our bison and veggie burgers. As we washed them down with good ale, Carlos began to relive some of our best moments together. I refrained from asking about our sex together, but he broached it indirectly, wisely.

I asked about the music business. He said one of his bands was failing and disbanding (to make a pun) but the other was on the rise, getting all the gigs they wanted and making some test recordings with a music company.

"But I can't live off just that," he said, "so I've actually become a music instructor at the junior college."

I found myself feeling closer to dear old Carlos. Something about me -- maybe the feminine remnants of the old Jackie -- were making me want to hold his hand or something. My eyes were drawn to his chest hair, peeking out from under his T-shirt. God, I'd never looked at a man like that before!

We talked and talked, like old friends and, actually, lovers. I let myself go, to a degree. Underneath it all, I coolly wondered where this was going. It seemed a shame, though, to just throw myself in his arms again. I wanted to play his fiddle. I knew very well the power a good-looking woman has over a man.

As we were leaving, Carlos learned I'd come by Uber and offered to drive me home, which I gratefully accepted. Once we were on the road, and continuing to talk about old times, I noticed he was looking at my neckline as much as my face. Involuntarily, of course. It was so much fun viewing this from the female perspective!

Upon arriving at my place, I made it abundantly clear that he wasn't coming in, and so he had to settle for a hug and kiss. What a strange feeling I had kissing a man with a stubble beard. While his lips were OK, I had mixed feelings about the beard. On one hand, it shouted "man" while on the other it shouted "prickly, prickly, prickly!"

As we were kissing, I had this irrational fear that I'd have an erection and give myself away as a guy! Like I was in drag.

As we parted I could see that dancing in his eyes again. I loved his deep-tan complexion and his loose way of walking. When he blew me a kiss, I wished I'd invited him in.

I told my sister Taylor none of these feelings.

So, Manny, Carlos and I began to call and text each other frequently. Our next outing was three weeks later when he invited me to his band's gig at Demented Don's roadhouse. I met him there briefly beforehand so he could find me a good table. I enjoyed seeing him interact pretty professionally with his band, The 376. I don't know where they came up with that name!

Their genre, I'd say, was country hip-hop, or country rap. Not that I knew much about it at all. I enjoyed the fusion, although the lyrics could be hard to make out. Lots of energy. Lots of fun for the audience. Lots of beer flowing, but not for the new FJackie. No, no. Jackie was a fusion, too, and the fusion meant that Jackie, above all, was in control.

I had researched what to wear to such a place, and ended up wearing camo cargo pants, along with a black bralette top. I let my longish hair fall down on my shoulders and my makeup was more forward than usual, with even a little blue eye shadow. OK, I was wearing some "fuck me" shoes and earrings!

I could tell Carlos loved the look, as did some semi- or thoroughly-drunk guys in the audience, who made it abundantly clear they wanted to hump me. I just smiled demurely and paid attention to Carlos and the band.

Afterward, way afterward, after I was introduced to the band (and their sexy female drummer) and we all smoked some weed, Carlos offered to drive me home again. I was tired. It was 2 a.m. Of course, I took him up on that. On the way over, I told him how impressed I was with him and the band.

And, Manny, I invited him in without a qualm. We immediately kissed, holding each other tightly. Yeah, I could feel his erection against me, and I could feel his urgency. After he began caressing my tit, though, I said, "Dear, not tonight. Too tired. Too spaced out from the weed. Sleep on the couch?"

I detected both anger and sadness in him. Invited in, and then sidelined, when the old Jackie (I suppose) would've been very ready with a wet pussy? Oh dear.

But that's where he slept.

In the morning, however (he didn't have classes to teach until the afternoon), things were quite different. Putting on one of Jackie's loose shifts, which I assumed she liked to wear around the house, with nothing on underneath save panties, I made my way over to the sofa and woke him up. Carlos is one of those who takes a long time gathering his senses. When he'd fully regained consciousness, I gave him a slender glass of champagne and we sipped together.

"Sleep OK?" I asked politely.

"Deeply," he replied. "Maybe I had a wet dream."

We both laughed, and sipped some more.

I was so enjoying being in the catbird seat. I had arranged my hair.

"You know," I said, "I actually still know so little about you. When we kissed the other day, for me it was a first kiss with you. I'm not sure I like your beard against my face. How did the old Jackie feel about that?"

"I grew this since your accident."

"Oh."

"You know, some women like the feel of short beards."

"Like the girlfriend you had in my absence?"

Silence. "So, you know."

"Yeah. So how do I know when you're telling me the truth? Like when you say you still love me?"

"Oh, Jackie, let's not start to play games, OK? When I say I love you, I mean it. I still love you."

"OK, OK.... But Carlos, again, I know so little about you, actually. It's just that a little fairy whispered in my ear about your girlfriend."

"Yeah?"

"Carlos, dear, would you let me see you in the nude? I'm so curious abut the whole you I used to enjoy."

Carlos warily pulled his covers off and stood up, still wearing gray jockey briefs and black socks. He was not muscled, but not overweight, either. His hairy chest (which reminded me of his head hair) certain made my female heart beat a little faster.

He was somewhat chagrined, standing there like a horse up for auction.

Then my eyes went to his midsection and his bulge. He looked downward too, but he wasn't one to plop out his dick and swing it around lustily.

I walked over, smiling, and pulled his waistband down for him. When I grazed his prick underneath, he involuntarily tightened from the thrill.

I worked to pull his undies off, then returned to examine his dong. What do women call penises? No telling.

His prick was somewhat longer than average, but that may have been because he was already getting an erection. He inhaled strongly as I grasped his handsome dick (rhymes with prick) in one hand, while playing with one of his extra-large nipples with the other.

"Jesus, Jackie. Jesus."

"I like what I see."

"Want to feel me inside you?"

"Let's just play. Remember, this is all new..... But I'll let you touch my titty. Did the old Jackie have a special name for her titties?"

As he reached up to tenderly cup a breast, "Oh, yeah, they were her girls, Rosie and Roxy. Now that I think of it, that's pretty funny....."

"Yeah. Well, maybe I'll think of some names sometime. I won't ask if she had a name for her pussy...... No, don't tell me!"

So we stood there, getting worked up like crazy. I ended up having him lay down again and masturbating him to a full-blown orgasm, with cum reaching as far as his face. I actually enjoyed doing that, as a woman would, seeing him seize up and explode heavenly. Oh my god, what a first.

Then, he wanted to do the same for me, but somehow I didn't want that..... yet. I sent him on his way after breakfast and then used Jackie's vibrator to push myself over the edge, big time.

Well, Carlos and I were certainly making progress. I liked the fact that he was willing to follow my directions and wasn't getting angry and frustrated like so many immature boys do. Like I used to behave sometimes!

I was ready to take the action further. But I wanted to date someone else, too. I wanted to take my new persona and body on some trial runs, knowing what I know about men.....

Besides, Taylor was eventually going to learn about my seeing Carlos again, and when asked, I could say, "Well, I'm dating different men."

Manny, another adventure I had was at Jackie's gym. Taylor told me Jackie had a membership there, autopaid, and that I should visit it just for something to do. I'd never been to a gym before, so I had to carefully plan my appropriate workout clothing -- tight leggings, etc. I went in -- what a strange environment, with sweat and bodies of all types, men and women. I paid extra for a personal trainer, and had to overcome my old slothfulness to begin enjoying my womanly muscles.

After two months with the trainer, I was on my own.

Tell the truth, I was more attracted to women's bodies there than men's, at least those that weren't too rotund, too short, or too skinny. Those tights they wear, and their nice round buns! But if a guy was muscled and had a cute face and hair, well, that worked too!

What I ended up doing was finding the days and times when women were most present and managing to shower when several of them were likely to be there too (the shower was communal). What I recalled was that in high school, when the guys took showers after gym class, there was this aversion to look at each others' bodies and being seen as gay. But with the women, there was no such concern, and there was often a friendliness in showering together, with pleasant banter. One of the women was openly gay, and there was some joking about that.

So of course, I tried not to feel like an interloper, and tried not to gaze too avidly at their bods. I learned to converse with them to a degree (about everything -- food, exercise routines, cars, kids, politics, periods, you name it). However -- what was remarkable was the variety in their bodies -- their tits, pussies, derrieres, muscles and lean or not, hair (even pussy hair), and so on. This was like taking a class in body types. I guess I should've joined a nudist club.

Finally, I got to see what sorts of underwear they were wearing. Fascinating.

As I became more confident, I decided to expand my dating to women. I knew there were lesbian bars, but I decided to go with the times and look for women on dating sites. I learned there was one devoted to women only, called At My Place (rather suggestive). I had all this time on my hands, so I salivated over women's photos and descriptions. After using dating sites back in my Froggie days, I well knew that photos and descriptions couldn't be relied upon.

After subscribing, I narrowed down my choices (within 25 miles of me) to 10 women between the ages of 20 and 35. I wrote an honest account of myself along with a post-accident photo, and contacted the women. Seven were actually interested in me. I insisted upon live video chats, and that narrowed the field down to five.

Finally, there were two I was comfortable and interested in Lisa and Rochelle. It turned out Rochelle had to move because of a job offer, so I was left to finally meet in real time with Lisa. I've always liked that name.

In our Skype chats, Lisa introduced herself as a nurse, age 24 (or so she said!), with a penchant for dogs, married briefly, and lately acknowledging her bisexuality. She was on the lean side (but not skinny!) with small tits, and a yoga practitioner, preferring to wear loose slacks or tight leggings, along with loose tops with embroidery, during our online chats. Her facial features hinted at intelligence and ruggedness. A bit like a country girl.

When we finally got together, one warm evening at a western bar with comfort food (her choice), she was dressed a bit more provocatively, and so was I. She wore one of those dresses with bare shoulders and small puffed sleeves at the top, with a wide gathered (or puckered) waist, and a skirt down to her knees. Her rich blond hair, I could tell, had recently been coiffed into twirled strands of hair coming down to her shoulders. Very attractive! And sexy earrings, too. Her makeup was barely apparent, but I didn't like the shade of her lipstick. Too dark. She had a southern accent, which I've always liked.

As for me, I tried wearing tight, white jeans with a loose, flowing, almost-shimmering, blue-gray top with a wide bodice, and 3/4-length sleeves. That showed off my tits, nestled in a soft-cup balconette bra. My addeds included a woven bracelet, hoop earrings, and leather sandals. My hair was pulled back into a bun (Taylor had shown me the technique). My makeup, too, was minimal.

When we met, we were both smiling and congenial. After beers, we were getting more so. What a difference between meeting her and meeting Carlos! Here, I was much less trying to be clever, and plotting and running things. I wasn't trying to pry secrets out, and didn't even ask about her failed marriage. With Lisa, there was much more warmth flowing between us. I told her I was, like her, exploring bisexuality. Like, I had a male companion, but wanted more.

We were certainly dressed differently, and I suppose that told us more about each other. She was more feminine and I was somewhat more butch (if that's the term to use).

I inquired about her dogs (she has two), which really got her talking. In reality, I really don't like being around dogs at all.

Afterwards, we parted with a big hug and peck on the lips and vowed to meet again, maybe for a walk.

So, Manny, the next stage of the evolution of Jackie was about to begin! I hope you have had enough interest to follow my escapades.....