All Comments on 'I Want You to Want Me'

This has made me rock hard. Please please continue. Outstanding!!!

Nice start hope you can continue this story plenty of ways and characters too mix

How do I correct a rating? I accidentally touched one star when I really wanted to give this story 5 stars 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟!

you had some errors and a name mix up, so you may want to proofread your story again, I would like to see another chapter to see where you are going with this,don't be like the other writers and bring the mom into it or other people, just keep it between the brothers and sisters, I think it would make it a better story, I kind of got the feeling Ray was fucking his sister, He was letting Scott date his sister, maybe hoping for a sister swap, just a thought.

If things get any hotter, on this site. I may have to take a break. MAYBE READ THE FUNNY PAPERS, and cool off. These stories are hard on an old mans heart. Nice story,easy to read.

THANKS

This was a very good start and I hope you continue the story. That being said you like a lot of writers on here would really benefit from proof reading your story before posting. I would suggest before you post a story you print it out and read it yourself or find an editor who can read your stories for you.

A little OTT in some areas e.g. "I felt her hot cum blast out of her and coated me ...."

I really really like your style of writing. It's much more than just "GAH HOT FUCK SEX BANANA PENIS BOOBIES YAY" and feels much more like I'm reading a genuine story with plot and that the characters had a life before I started reading the story. However, you really need someone to read over your writing because there are some moments where it's really lacking in regards to spelling, word choice, or mixing up the names. Aside from that I loved it. Keep it up!

I do like this start to the story. It seemed to skip ahead just a little too fast. But we'll see how it progresses.

Overall. Well done.

That was one Hell of a first story. I look forward to many more.

Don't be too sure about what you read. I know some of you felt there were wrong references. I did ! When I read it over, there wasn't the ambiguity that I perceived. More please...the only thing I really agree with the comments on is that Ray and Becky need to be brought into the main story; perhaps the two couples marrying and then sharing the sibling sex. It is your story, however, and you did a 5 star for me.

Hey everyone, I'm shocked honestly. You guys are awesome! Thanks for the stars and comments! Yes I know about editing, I have a volunteer editor, thanks again Taken! But I need to double check, totally fair, with all the great authors on this site you should except more from me. There's a lot of story, I have over 40k in words and at least 5 more parts to get edited and published. Ah as for some characters... Well they may or may not come back, there's an over all build up I'm working on. So keep an eye out and please vote, favourite and so on. Thank you again, and there's more, much more in the future!

I look forward to the next chapter.

Definitely needs a follow up

get an editor, puh-leez. The paragraph where Scott first spies Linda in the shower, you refer to Linda as Lena twice. I thought you were headed to a threesome with his sister and boss. A good start, but eliminating simple, obvious mistakes would make it so-o-o much better. Looking forward to part 2.

We all noticed it but, wtf, it didn't detract from the hot story enough to even be mentioned. Well-deserved FIVE STARS here!

Sexy Scott should have a dusting of chest hair and maybe hair for his abs -- a very sexy sight on any man, but especially on a younger man! Something for Linda to taste and touch!

Didn't even read the story yet but I've got the song stuck in my head. LMAO

Nice premise.

But the sex, when it happens, goes from 0 - 60 in a nanosecond. Too fast. Needed some foreplay before blowjob happens. When she discovers he's hard, why not feel it a while. Play with it a while. Talk about how hard it is, and discuss what she's thinking about doing to/with his cock. Discuss whether he'd like that.

Ask more about how he enjoyed watching her masturbate in the bathroom. Did he like it? What about it did he like the best? How did her body look? Did he like her breasts? Dis he like her ass? Did her pussy look appetizing?

Needs more description of her body.

Four stars.

I love the story. Kind of quick to the punch. But, I find very few in this category with my name so thank you so much for posting this. 5 stars!

I gave you a five in spite of the sudden change into sex. Scott and Linda had oral sex before they even kissed. While that's definitely different from most stories, it also implies that their relationship will never be a loving thing. It's merely lust and physical attraction. That leaves me disappointed and unfulfilled.

Brother and sister...sister and brother...checking each other out, getting right to business...

I disagree with the comments on speed of how they started out; each situation is different, and it is not like they had not messed about the night before.

Excellent Story so far, on to the next chapter!