I was a Sasquatch Pt. 04

Helga, I decided that it would be better to have them made so that everyone could tell we do have something on. Not everyone who doesn't live near the beaches is comfortable with seeing naked people. I think Albert did a stupendous job in the way he made the men's thongs hide their junk.

I agree Heather our outfits give the illusion of us not having anything one while keeping us fully covered just like Circus performers or live plays and ballet dancers.

Hey, Heather, can you teach us how to handle a bike like you do?

I don't know. Let me ask you this Harvey. Have you been riding your own motorcycle ever since you were 4 years old.

No.

There is your answer, sorry. I can teach you a lot of things you can do on your bike, but you were not born with the correct balance.

What do you mean? I can pull a wheelie.

Yes, but can you run nearly an entire enduro race without your front wheel?

No shit, you've done that.

Not by choice mind you, but yes, I have.

Where are we going next, Prez?

Eindhoven to visit the evolution museum. Then on to Dusseldorf. John will keep me apprised of any towns requesting a parade and possible stunt show along the way, but since it is a little chilly this morning, I'll probably start out wearing my leathers I suggest since we will the riding a lot harder than yesterday any of you who don't have touring bikes should wear yours as well to keep from getting wind burned. We can always stop and strip off to our uh. I guess we should call them costumes. Before we reach any town requesting a parade.

After yesterday's parade through Zaltbommel, every town along their planned route to Eindhoven had posted requests for a parade through their towns on the website.

Uh Heather, I don't think you or anyone else will be wearing your leathers for very long.

Why's that John. There are 30 little town either on or near our planned route for today, after viewing our gallery from the café and the parade we did yesterday plus watching numerous videos that have been posted they have all requested a short quick parade if possible. There is now over 4 million Euro deposited and more than a few subsistence request 2 of them were sent in by the trucker I was talking to at the Café, one the requests he was asking if we could help a family who lost their dad in Iraq. His other request is for his bosses son, who is suffering from PTSD. Neither request is for long-term assistance, just enough to get by until they begin receiving their checks from the Government. A few of these request I can honor right now, with money from our own funds. I really don't want to start dipping into the run's money until it had amassed enough for me to set up an endowment trust then fund the charities and requests from the trust. That way the trust fund never dries up.

I don't know much about big money John, but I do know the casino where we met made millions every year and never did anything for anyone with the money except to make the top members of the gambling syndicate richer. Money is the one thing that if you don't have any then no one seems to know you, but the minute someone learns that you have money everybody and their brothers want some of it.

That's what I am finding out. But I did mention to the trucker the reason for our run and promised him we would look into their situation. I know we probably will never be able to help every deserving individual or family. For one thing we will only be in Europe for a couple of months. But just maybe this run will become an annual event.

John, we can always come back each year and put one together.

We might just do that. We will ship the bike over then put a run together.

How about it Prez leathers and vests or costumes.

I'm just wearing my chaps and vest because I can re4move them while riding the rest of you can do as you like the next town that sent a request is about 30 minutes away by then it will probably have warmed enough, we won't need our leathers. John informs me there are 30 towns between here and Eindhoven asking for a parade, it will be a meandering route. I'm told.

Brad, can any of the crotch rocket guys ride well enough to wheel stand at slow speed?

Probably all 20 of them

Good I want them to ride behind Heather and me but keep their distance because she is one wild bitch on a bike.

The parade was a rinse and repeat of the one in Zaltbommel. The exception being today all of the riders had on the nude costumes. Then on to the next town and the next until late that afternoon the group found a suitable campsite another small group had joined somewhere during the day.

Who is the leader of your group Heather asked.

Woah shit lady are you actually naked?

Take your shades off and you can see that I am not.

Oh yeah, now I can see that you are wearing something, but it is barely visible.

That's the whole point. This run is called the naked charity motorcycle run to the southern tip of Spain. I'll ask again who is the leader of your group? I'll not ask a third time I will simply ask you to leave if you won't tell me.

What's it to you little one?

I'm the Prez and I say who joins our run who tags along behind or who is told the fuck off and leave. One of the members in your group rode through our parade and very nearly caused me to drop my bike.

I'm the leader someone answered from a few feet away, and no half pint cunt tells any member of my gang where to ride.

Oh, so you tout yourselves as a bike gang not a club. How interesting. I take it you see yourselves as some outlaw biker gang wannabes.

We are outlaws, we go where we want, we do what we want, and we take what we want.

Oh, really. And may I ask just how you go about doing that when faced with overwhelming numbers against you?

What that bunch of pussies. How can there be any way they can stop us with a cunt for their so-called Prez.

Anyone who can ride me is welcome to the position. Would you care to test your skill.

Against the likes of you. Hell yes.

I was hoping you'd say that. Here are my rules we race from that signpost to the top of the hill and back I win you leave your motorcycles with me. and walk home. You win you get to fuck me and take my bike.

Let me get this straight if you somehow can make it to the top of the hill and back before me then you take all our machines. But when I win, I get to fuck your brains out and get your bike. Bring it bitch.

John, unpin the trunk and the saddle bags and hand me my leathers please.

A few minutes later there were bikes lined up along side of the road all the way to the top of the hill and back Heather was sitting on the starting about 30 feet behind the starting line the rear suspension lowered all the way so her legs would be long enough to allow her feet to touch the pavement. She held the front brake, leaned as far forward as possible, revved the engine, and let go of the clutch. A cloud of blue smoke erupted from the back tire. Easing off the brake lever she allowed the huge motorcycle to roll forward still smoking the tire until she was a scant few inches behind the start line. The outlaw wannabe leader was already wondering if he had made a miscalculation in his judgement. Heather sat there lightly twisting the throttle keeping the engine's revs up slightly the transmission already in 3rd gear. When the flagger dropped her hand heather let go of the clutch, the instant she felt the bike move forward she twisted the throttle all the way. 50 pounds of boost from the twin turbos did their job even without John's weight the trunk or the saddle bags the front tire rose 3 feet into the air and the motorcycle launched ahead like a bullet out the muzzle of a gun. She hit 4th gear before she had gone twenty feet then 5th gear in another 40 feet pulling the front tire off the ground slightly with each shift. Of the gears. She was halfway up the hill before her opponent had even moved more than a few feet. Grabbing 6th gear, she rode the rest of the way up the hill by the time she was 3/4s of the way up the hill she was traveling at over 150 MPH. shutting down and braking as hard as she could She was almost at the top of the hill before she had slowed enough to make the U turn.

Oh God I hope I can do this without John's weight.

Heather did something not even she thought would be possible. She brought the motorcycle to a complete stop. Put it in 1st gear sat and leaned back as far as her arms would allow. Twisted the throttle. 3/4s the way open dumped the clutch bring the bike up as high as she had ever had it released the throttle and shifted her body weight to try and make the bike do her famous pirouette. It took a circle of a full 4 feet in diameter to make a 180 degree turn, but from where the crowd was standing and sitting it looked to them as if she had done it in a zero turn She eased the front tire down only slightly then rode back to the starting point arriving back at the start about the same time her opponent had reached the top of the hill where he dropped his bike going too slow while trying to make too tight of a u turn. When he finally made it back Heather was sitting on hers and John's motorcycle with her legs crossed on the saddle, collecting titles and registrations.

You fucking little cunt you cheated.

And just how was I supposed to have cheated the woman dropped her hands I saw your bike move an inch and I took off up the hill. I even rode back halfway, never getting out of 3rd gear. With my front wheel still in the air waiting on you. Now hand over the keys, your title and registration.

I'm not giving you, my motorcycle. With that he took a swing at her. Heather leaped straight up form the lotus position and kicked him square in the jaw. Shattering it and knocking several of his teeth out.

I think someone in your group might want to call for an ambulance. Your leader seems to have slipped and fallen.

Break camp everyone we are going to ride a little further looks like we will be skipping the evolution museum this time around. Any of you ladies who can ride come grab a set of keys.

The videos of the build up and the race were streaming on the internet before the group had even rode a mile down the highway. Heather's race had 30 million views before the next morning. The group didn't stop until they reached Dusseldorf Germany.

Franz, I need a favor of your brother here in Dusseldorf.

What's that John.

It's about those motorcycles Heather won last night. We need to get the tittles and registration's put in our name then we need to alter our tour to Bremerhaven and shipped to the States so we can sell some of them.

Why not just sell the ones you want to get rid of here and save the shipping costs. Just ship the one you want to keep. Or have them stored until you get ready to return home and ship them with yours at the same time.

That is a sound plan. I wonder if your brother has any contacts with a shipping container company the bikes could be crated and put in a container then it cold be stored at the port until we decide to load our machine and ship them all at once.

I'll see to it.

*****

Guten Morgan.

Good morning to you sir,

My name is Heinrich, I'm sire Franz has told you about me.

Yes, quite a lot actually.

And he has spoke to me about you and your wife's plan to travel nude across Germany, but I see by what everyone is wearing you have already altered your idea. Good this removes a lot of worry from my mind. Not to say that your original plan was impossible, but a lot of towns and the larger cities were going to place too many restrictions on your travel plans. Now that they have been able to watch the videos from your website and the social media none of them are opposed to your staged parades. I assume there have been many donations already, yes?

Yes, the amount reached 20 million this morning. I think a lot of it started pouring in after the thing that happened last night.

Yes. The Netherlands outlaw gang They called themselves the scorpion snakes. A very rough bunch from what I've heard. Rumor has it that they would ride up on a touring group of motorcyclists and strip them of all their possessions at knife point. How did your group manage to wind up with all of their motorcycles?

Heather challenged their leader to a race and won them.

Just like that? They handed over their motorcycles. I find it hard to believe. Your wife got away with it. They are known for welching on deals.

She broke their leader's jaw and knocked several of his teeth out after he took a swing at her. There is a video of the whole thing. Here have as look for yourself.

Such a petite and beautiful woman. How is it possible she stood from a cross legged sitting position and nearly removed his jaw so easily?

There is more to her than meets the eye, I can assure you Heinrich.

Yes, I can see that. OK, about your booty. I will call the Kraftfahrzeug Zulassungsstelle, Uh the office for auto registration. What are you planning on doing with them.

We thought we might sell a few but ship most to the states.

Ah, I see. To sell them here in Germany you will have to have them inspected by the TUV. How many are you thinking about selling.

Maybe 10 of them.

Oh, then you will have to buy a dealer's license and proof of ownership. You are going to need proof of ownership to export the others anyway.

Is there an agent I can hire to take care of all the necessary paperwork and anything else that may be involve in either selling or exporting them.

Helga didn't mention her father is such an agent. He lives in Aschaffenburg. He has a dealership; you could sell them directly to him and he can handle all of the export duty for the others.

Aschaffenburg is on our route.

Good, it seems we have solved all of your issues already. Now there is one more thing. I received a call yesterday from a large local motorcycle club. They expressed their desire to contact your club and maybe ride with you as far as Rome Italy.

Sure, the more the merrier as long as they respect and follow the rules Heather has laid out. Otherwise, they will have to ride well behind us.

But where can they get the same uh, do you call what you are wearing clothes?

No, we call it a costume and we have a 1000 set with us. They all will have to wear these and nothing else while we are doing our parades.

I will call them and tell them they can meet up with you after you leave.

Once the meeting had concluded it was decided that the club would do 12 separate parades in various areas around Dusseldorf. By the end of the day there were over 200 motorcycles in the group. That night they stayed in a forested camping area. The next day they made it to Frankfurt Main around noon. As they descended on the Dealer where John and Heather were to pick up their caravan trailer the owner saw nothing but Euros before his eyes. Knowing he was probably going to make dozens, possibly hundreds of sales today. He instructed his staff to go all out in welcoming the strangely dressed bikers.

Good day to you Sir, I believe you are here to take possession of the matching caravan for that majestic motorcycle.

That is correct and I want a spare tire for it with 2 jacks.

Two jacks? Why would you require 2 jacks.

I want one of them specially fitted to lift that bike in the event it gets laid over.

But sir I should think given your size that you would have no problem righting it by yourself without the assistance of someone else.

I can, but do you think that she could?

I doubt she would even be able to ride such a machine by herself.

Two nights ago, she won a race on it at over 150 miles per hour. Do you still think she is incapable of handling it?

Two jacks, one specially fitted for the motorcycle will be included at no charge.

We would also like a full luggage rack mounted on the top of the caravan. With a ramp to allow us to roll a downed motorcycle on it in case someone breaks down.

That would be a lot of extra weight on the trailer. I'm afraid the axle and tires are not designed to carry such a heavy load Sir.

Then change them with some that will, and I want air ride suspension on the trailer.

And we need a new rear tire for our motorcycle. My wife burned most of the tread off in the race the other night. While you are at it change all the fluids and filters in our bikes and anyone else's that need changing. Check everyone's tires change any that are worn. Put everything on my bill. While you are at it, we would like to have our bikes cleaned and polished. Ask anyone else if they need their bikes polished.

Yes, sir we should be able to have everyone motorcycle in top shape in less than 2 weeks.

I'm sorry I didn't hear you; did you say 2 days?

I said 2 weeks.

That's what I thought you said 2 days.

That is quite impossible sir for my current staff to service 200 motorcycles in any less than 2 weeks.

Frankfurt is a large city. How many dealers would you say there are?

Several sir.

Maybe I will send most of my group to those other dealers.

But Sir.

Then figure out how you can have all my requests completed with the highest quality workmanship done in 2 days or less. I bet we're talking two hundred thousand Euro here. You might try contract hiring technicians from those other dealerships for a couple of days. Meanwhile we will be camping out in your parking lot.

Sir, I cannot allow anyone to be on the property after business hours.

You won't be having any after business hours for the next 2 days.

Yes sir, I quite understand.

Well don't just stand there staring at my wife's boobs, get your staff started and get on the phone to the other dealerships.

John you are a very bad man. You know that don't you?

That I am honey, that I am.

A few hundred bikers and their women all running around in those nude-colored costumes camping in the parking lot was quite a sigh. Not surprisingly a permanent daily traffic jam ensued on the roadway. The traffic problem became so bad the city hired a construction company to erect a temporary screening to block the parking lot from viewing. This was to no avail though because many of the bikers had become so accustomed to wearing nothing but the nude looking costumes they would venture out to restaurants and go shopping in grocery stores. Groups of ten to twenty would hop on a metro and go sightseeing. All over the city of Frankfurt members of the motorcycle tour group could be spotted.

MR Cavanaugh. We believe we have serviced every motorcycle that needed servicing. We have replaced 60 tires re sewn or recovered many saddles replaced 100s of lights most of which were auxiliary lighting. Every motorcycle has a fresh TUV inspection 3 engines required rebuilding. I lost count of how many bad sprockets and chains we replaced. Your caravan has received the upgrades and modifications you requested. Well sir, here is the billing statement sir with the itemized list of services we preformed. I apologize for the large total sir. Hiring the contract technicians from the other dealerships was not cheap.

I don't have a problem with the bill sir, I expected it to be much higher than this. Could you do me one more small favor though?

Yes, sir, anything you ask.

Call your staff and the contractors over I want to say a few words to them expressing my thanks a small show of gratitude.

Ladies and gentlemen, you cannot imagine how pleased I and my friends are with the effort you put forth to service our machines. I know it has been a hard and grueling two days for all of you, I noticed many of you worked nearly nonstop around the clock to accomplish what has been done for us. Our charity run is very important to my wife and I. For this reason, I am instructing Mr. Wilhelm to add a 1 full weeks pay and allowances for each and every one of you to the bill he handed me, that includes yourself, MR. Wilhelm.