I Was an Arrogant Son of a Bitch

"You better be afraid, and if I ever hear of you using that kind of language around them or threatening them, I'll wash your mouth out with something that you'll wish had been soap."

"Go fuck yourself." He said as they walked away. I was in my car congratulating myself when what he said about high school registered. Jimmy. Jimmy? Well, kiss my ass. It was Jimmy Smothers, the boy CC dated for a while. Another surprise from her. I figured high school would have taught her a lesson about "bad boys", but apparently not. I was more certain than ever that I didn't want him having any influence over my children and I resolved to re-double my efforts to get back in their good graces.

That was on a Wednesday. At noon on Sunday, I picked them up. They were not interested in going with me and almost had to be forced to get in my car. It was not a good start.

Neither CC nor Jimmy was happy either, but I didn't give a fuck about their happiness.

At my new house, I showed the kids to their rooms. They were not impressed. They were impressed with the pool, however, and spent the rest of the day in and around it.

By Thursday of that first week, they were beginning to come around. I found out that they disliked Jimmy more than they were indifferent toward me.

School was within walking distance and they both had friends in the neighborhood they knew from school, so that was okay with them.

I had hired a housekeeper to take care of the house. She came every day at three and stayed until I got home at five. The kids got home at 3:30. They liked her and she liked them and they helped her with dinner on the days they couldn't swim in the pool.

The second week they were with me was better. The next time, better still. By the second month, they didn't want to go home.

I would pick them up at CC's house and she would pick them up from mine. The kids had started to protest having to go with her, and she learned to not have Jimmy with her because the kids always resisted more when he was around.

"I don't understand it." said CC. "They just don't like him."

"Has he ever given them reason to not like him?"

"What do you mean?"

"Has he ever mistreated them?"

"Not to my knowledge."

"May I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead."

"Why him?"

"What do you mean?"

"He was a juvenile delinquent in high school and everyone assumed he would end up in prison. Why did you fall for him? Did he change?"

She looked at me for a few seconds before answering. "After you dropped me in high school, I was hurt and wanted to get even, so I went for the opposite of what you were. It didn't last long because you never even noticed I was gone you were so wrapped up in the Drama Club." She almost chuckled. "Drama Club my ass. It was the girls in Drama Club and I was jealous."

"So how did you get back with him? Or is that none of my business?"

"It's none of your business."

"That's fair, but I meant what I said about him mistreating the kids."

"Oh. For Christ's sake, Jake. Get off it. He's a normal man."

"Maybe you should pay more attention to what's going on in your house."

"Oh? And I'm supposed to take life lessons from you? You, who was so self-centered your own children ignored you? Give me a break."

She was upset and I chuckled. "You're right. That was me, and I apologize to you and the kids for being like that, but I've changed, and I owe it all to you."

"Me?"

"Yes, you because had you not gotten tired of my attitude and behavior, and divorced me, I would be the same or worse, so I thank you for that."

We both stood there, shocked for several seconds before I spoke. "See you next Sunday."

Flustered, she gathered the kids and left without saying anything.

My four parents were having the time of their lives. They had all the time they wanted with the kids and vice versa.

Summer was coming and with me working, what to do with the kids during the day was going to be an issue, but CC and I were able to work it out. We split the cost of a month long Summer Camp for them once we agreed on which camp to send them.

The week before the kids were due to return from camp, CC called.

"Would you like to have dinner with me?" she asked.

"What brought that on?"

"I just thought we might discuss the kids and their schedules for next year. Besides, Jimmy and I want to take a vacation and we thought you might keep the kids for us."

"You don't have to ply me with food for that. When are you going and where?"

"The second week in August, and we thought we'd go to Vegas."

"Okay. Coincidentally, that's one of my vacation weeks. Why don't I take the kids to Disneyworld that same week?"

"That's out of state. You need my permission."

"That's what I'm doing now."

"I don't think so. I don't trust you."

"That's fine. I'll go to New York instead."

"What about the kids?"

"What about them?"

"Who's going to watch them?"

"How about your parents?"

"You know they can't. They're both still working." Audrey and Steve loved CC's parents, but always felt "boxed in" when they went there. Don't touch this. Stay away from that. Sit still and don't fidget. Play with one toy at a time then put it away before getting another one... and on and on. They were both workaholics who preferred being at work rather than home or with family. I'd often wondered how CC could be normal having come from that environment.

"Then you are, I suppose. That's your week to have them. I'm going to be in New York."

"Come on, Jake. Take the kids."

"Only if I can take them to Disneyworld."

"You're not taking them out of state."

"Then you're not going to Vegas unless you get someone else to watch them." She could have called my parents and they would have loved to keep the kids; but she didn't.

The week before she and Jimmy were scheduled to go, the kids told me they were going to Vegas.

"Good. That should be fun," I told them. "Call me when you get there and tell me about it." They promised they would. I waited eagerly for their call.

They left on Friday afternoon, apparently waiting for CC to get her paycheck. The next night Audrey, our daughter, called. She and her brother, Steve, were in their hotel room by themselves. Audrey was nine at the time and Steve was seven. "Where's your mother?" I asked her.

"She and Jimmy went out."

"How long have they been gone?"

"A long time."

"Have you eaten?"

"Yes. We had room service. Mom ordered it before she left."

"Okay. Make sure the door is locked and don't let anyone in. I love you."

"We love you, too, Daddy."

I Googled their hotel, got the phone number and called.

"I'd like to speak to the manager, please," I told the person who answered.

"I'm sorry, but she's busy. May I help you?"

"Tell her she either speaks to me right now, or I'm calling the police." Less than 30 seconds later she was on the phone.

"There is no need to involve the police. Tell me the problem and allow me the opportunity to fix it."

"There are two young children alone in their room in your hotel. What is your normal policy for that?"

"Well, sir, we normally call the police who generally come with someone from Social Services and take the kids until they can locate the parents."

"Well, here's the deal. I just talked to my daughter. She's nine. She, and her brother, who is seven are alone in room 1727. Their mother and I are divorced and she's there with her boyfriend. I have a court order which says she cannot take the kids out of state without my permission, and she doesn't have it."

"I understand. I will call the police and report what you've told me."

"There's one more thing. I don't want the kids to get in trouble for telling me. Is there some way this can be done without their mother knowing they told me? I have no idea how her boyfriend is going to take it."

"Do you know if they've have room service?"

"They have. Their mother ordered their dinner."

"That's good. I'll take care of it sir."

I gave her my name and number and hung up.

Two hours later I received a call.

"Is this Mr. Jacob Sweeney?"

"Yes it is."

"Mr. Sweeney, I'm Bruce Swinson with the Las Vegas Social Services Office. Do you know where you children are?"

"As of a couple of hours ago they were in a hotel room in your city."

"Yes, sir they were. But we found them alone and they are now in our custody."

"What happened?"

"Apparently room service went to their room to collect the dishes from their dinner and discovered them. The hotel called the police and they called us, so we took custody."

"My ex-wife and I are divorced and neither of us are allowed to take the kids out of the state without the permission of the other."

"May I assume that she didn't have your permission?"

"You may, indeed."

"Do you have a copy of the divorce and that court order?"

"I have." He gave me his fax number and told me to fax it to him. He told me I could come get my children because as soon as they located the mother, she was going to jail. I told him I would be there the next day.

It was four the next afternoon when I picked up Audrey and Steve. Mr. Swinson told me that he left notice in the hotel room what had happened and directed CC to call him as soon as she could. It was three A.M. when she did. She was in a panic and wanted her children. Swinson told her she would have to go to the police station and identify herself.

She showed up half drunk and the police arrested her for endangering children and unlawfully taking them out of state. She spent the rest of the night in jail.

"What happened to the guy she was with?" I asked.

"He's still in jail and probably will be for a while. He caused a scene and pushed a police officer. He's looking at prison time."

"Do you know where their mother is?"

"At her hotel, I think. I told her you were coming after them. She wants you to call her before you leave."

They had packed all of the kids' belongings so there was no need to go back to the hotel. I almost left without calling CC, but changed my mind. Swinson left to go get Audrey and Steve and while he was gone, I called her.

"Oh my god, Jake. I really screwed up."

"You'll get no argument from me."

"How are they?"

"I haven't seen them yet, but they're probably okay."

"When are you leaving to take them home?"

"In the morning."

"Why don't you wait for me and I can fly home with you?"

"We're flying home in the morning. You don't see a judge for a couple of days."

"Do you know what happened to Jimmy?"

I laughed. "I don't care what happened to him and if you ever let him near the children again, you'll never see them yourself."

"Oh, come on, Jake. Get serious........."

I hung up before she could finish

Audrey and Steve came in the room, saw me and ran to me. Swinson brought in their bags.

It was early afternoon the next day when we got home. I called my attorney and told him what happened. I then told him to petition the court to give me emergency sole custody of the kids. He told me the likelihood of that was very remote and he wouldn't recommend my trying it. I told him to go for it anyway.

He filed immediately and since CC was still in Nevada, and it was her week to have the kids, we received a temporary order that gave me custody until the court decided what to do.

She had to wait three days to see the judge who basically told her to get out of his city and don't come back. She called as soon as she landed and told me her car was still at the airport and she was stopping by to pick up the kids.

I told her about the new court order, but she could stop by and see them if she wanted too. She was not a happy camper when she got to my house and demanded to see the order. I showed it to her and she read it several times. It cited her taking them out of state without permission, endangering them by leaving them alone in the hotel, being drunk at the police station, and subjecting them to the influence of someone accused of assaulting a police officer, which is punishable by up to six months in jail plus a hefty fine according to my attorney. She threw it at me.

"You didn't have to do that, Jake."

"You didn't have to take them to Vegas either. Had you let me take them to Disneyworld, none of this would have happened."

"Where are they?"

"In the yard."

"You asshole. Leaving them alone in the pool is worse than what I did."

"They can't get in the pool area because it's locked. They're playing on their trampoline."

"I want to see them."

I led her to the yard. When the kids saw her they ran to her. It was a touching reunion that lasted about five minutes before the kids wanted to go swimming. I unlocked the gate and went into the enclosure with them. CC watched for several minutes before leaving without telling them goodbye.

I made arrangements to get the rest of their clothes, toys and other stuff which caused CC to cry.

For the first month, she called and talked to them every evening and they seemed to enjoy it. She also came over for dinner about every other day, and I had no problem with that.

My mother and stepmother watched them while I worked and everyone, except CC, was happy.

One day my attorney called to tell me that we were scheduled for court so the judge could act on my request for sole custody.

The evening before court, CC had dinner with us. After dinner, the kids were taking showers while CC and I talked.

"You realize that the court will give them back to me, don't you?" she asked.

"Maybe and maybe not. They're happy here and I haven't broken any laws."

"Christ, Jake. No judge in the country is going to take children from their mother for something so small."

"Small? You violated a court order then left them alone in a hotel room on the other side of the country."

She laughed. "That doesn't matter. My attorney says they will be home with me in time for lunch tomorrow."

"What about Smothers? What happens when he gets out of jail?"

"Nothing happens. He comes home and we continue as before."

"I told you before, I don't want him around my children."

"You don't have a choice in the matter. I will get them back tomorrow and when he gets out of jail, he will be back and be their daddy."

"And you're fine with our children living with a convicted felon?" I had no idea if he was a felon or not. Was assaulting a police officer a felony or misdemeanor? My attorney hadn't said.

"Absolutely."

"And you're okay with his prison buddies coming to your house and being around our children?"

"Of course."

"Was he on parole for anything before he assaulted the police officer?"

"Why does that matter?"

"Two reasons, actually. First, if he's on parole, he will probably have to go back to prison to finish the sentence he was on parole from because he most likely violated that parole when he assaulted the police officer, and secondly, I understand that most conditions of parole preclude his associating with other convicted felons, but you say they visit him at your house."

"That's a stupid rule to begin with."

Audrey finished her shower first and came down to spend time with her mother. She was followed shortly afterward by Steve. I left them alone and my phone on the coffee table, and they played for an hour before it was the kids' bedtime and CC left.

The next day before court, I gave my attorney my phone and asked him to listen to the conversation CC and I had the night before; as well as the conversation she had with Audrey and Steve. He immediately told CC's attorney that he had some new evidence and the two of them listened to part of the recording before the judge came in. When he did, they asked to approach the bench. Neither CC nor I heard their conversation, but when it was over, he asked us and our Attorneys to join him in his chambers where we listened to the recordings together.

CC tried to protest and say they were gotten illegally, but her attorney cut her off.

"They're legal as long as one party knew they were being recorded," he told her. "The conversation with you and the kids will not be allowed, but the conversation the two of you had is admissible.'

We returned to the courtroom where it took about thirty seconds for him to give me sole custody of Audrey and Steve. CC was allowed time with them each week, but had no input as to anything else pertaining to them.

My attorney called it a "one in a million" occurrence. CC's attorney called it a gross miscarriage which they were going to appeal, and CC called it fucking stupid. I called it the right thing to do.

It had been my arrogance at thinking I was the world's best actor that created the monster that had been me before CC kicked me out, and I learned that the first step toward solving a problem is to first recognize that there is one. I realized I had a problem when my children wanted nothing to do with me. I started looking at myself and saw a selfish, arrogant, egotistical son of a bitch whose only claim to fame was a few community theatre and college shows and realized that I wasn't going to be a Hollywood star. The professional counselling had changed me. It had changed my life. It was only then that my children started wanting to spend time with me....... well, time with me and the swimming pool.

They had lived with me for six months and loved the pool, tolerating me at first. Then gradually they changed; mainly because I had changed. They were my kids again, and I loved it. I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize our relationship.

CC would come over a couple of times a week and swim with them. Seeing her in a bathing suit stirred my blood, but I kept remembering Jimmy and lost any momentary desire I had for her. I never asked about him and CC never volunteered anything.

There was a big church in town that had a swimming pool in its Family Center. It had scheduled classes for all levels of swimmers. Both Audrey and Steve wanted to take lessons, so I enrolled them. They were both very good and it didn't take long for them to be in the advanced classes. Audrey even started diving and was better at that than swimming.

Their instructor was a woman named Alex who had been a competition swimmer in college, but was never quite good enough to make it to the Olympics. Her husband, Lyle, was a diver and taught the diving classes. CC and I took turns taking the kids to class after school and on Saturday mornings. It was a schedule that worked well for all of us and lasted almost a year.

One Saturday morning I was leaving the house just as CC pulled up to take the kids to their swimming classes. She was in the front passenger seat and a man was driving. I yelled for the kids to stop before they got in the car. I walked to CC's side of the car. "I told you about this. I won't have him near my children. From now on, you can only see the kids in my house and your convicted felon isn't welcome." I turned to the kids. "Come on, I'll take you." And I headed for the garage and my car.

CC was out of her car and after me, calling me asshole, motherfucker, cocksucker, unreasonable son-of-a-bitch and various other names. I tried to ignore her, but it was impossible. The garage door was open and the kids hurriedly got in my car. I stopped and turned to CC. "Are you hearing yourself? When did you start using that kind of language? These are your children and they're hearing that filth coming out of you. You should be ashamed."

"Fuck you. They hear worse at school."

"But they have a right to expect better from their mother." With that I was in my car.

"What happened to Mom?" Asked Audrey. "Everytime she's around Jimmy, she changes and gets different?"

"I'm not sure, sweetie. Some people have adverse effects on others. He seems to bring out some bad things in your mother, but that doesn't mean she doesn't love you or that you shouldn't love her. Do you know what adverse means?"