I Will Be There

A tear leaked from her eye as she wished he could forgive her and understand she was different.

*****

He woke to the sun shining through her window into his eyes. He groaned when he saw it was 5:30, but he knew he'd never fall back asleep as awake as he felt.

Emily had rolled over during the night and was on her stomach away from him, so he was able to slide out of bed without waking her. He dressed and made his way downstairs, but not before looking at Julia's closed door.

He sighed when he wondered if she were naked under her blanket. Then he chastised himself for thinking of Julia mere hours after making love with her daughter. He shook his head and wondered when his life got so screwed up. He wondered if there was something wrong with him.

After he changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top, he opened a can of Pepsi and sat on one of the deck chairs Julia had set up out back. He had a lot to think about and he wondered if he was already screwing things up by letting his penis think for him with Emily. Of course, it was a bad decision, in his mind. He couldn't decide if he wanted to be her friend, let alone have a sexual relationship with her. Yet, he couldn't find it in heart to regret making love with her.

"You don't have to have the weight of the world on your shoulders, Eric," Julia said from behind him.

"What makes you think I do?" he asked without turning around. He couldn't face her after what he did with Emily.

"You're sitting on my patio at 5:30 in the morning, staring at an empty field. That, and the last time you were up first, you made breakfast."

He smiled, "Sorry. I guess I could've at least put coffee on."

She sat next to him and took his hand, "What's the matter?"

"I just don't know if I can open myself up to her again. I can't go through that pain again."

"Remember when you were nine and you fell out of that playhouse your dad built for you?"

"Yeah, I broke my arm."

"What did you do when you got home from getting your cast put on?"

"I don't remember," he lied.

"You climbed back into that playhouse and played checkers with Emily. You weren't afraid to get hurt again."

"Somehow, I feel that's an apples and oranges comparison, Julia."

"Is it though? I think you're just overthinking what you're feeling for my daughter. I know she hurt you when you were fourteen, but you've both matured since then. Can't you see she was putting on airs for those friends of hers in high school. She buried the real her then but for the last couple of years I've had my old daughter back."

"She knows about us," he said changing the subject.

Julia shrugged, "Yeah, I figured she overheard our conversation that day. I thought I saw her walk by the window."

"She said she doesn't know the details and doesn't want to. She actually seemed fine with it."

"She's probably not, but she'll get over it," Julia countered.

"Well, don't mention I told you she knew."

"I won't. Now, are you done trying to change the subject?"

He looked away and said, "How do I know the right thing to do?"

"Where's the fun in knowing?" she asked. She laughed, kissed his cheek, and walked into the house.

*****

Julia finished putting her hair in a ponytail when Emily walked into her bedroom. She dropped onto the bed with a sigh and Julia asked, "Everything okay?"

"It's Eric," she groaned and fell back onto the bed with a thud.

"No kidding?" Julia teased.

"It's not funny, Mom. I screwed everything up."

"What did you do now?"

Emily sat up and raised an eyebrow.

Julia groaned, "Oh, Emily. What were you thinking?"

"It takes two to tango, Mother," she defended.

She sat beside her daughter and exhaled, "Emily, that young man was already confused. He was still trying to figure out if you could be friends again and you went and complicated it even more."

"I know, Mom. I just couldn't help myself. I'd blame the alcohol, but we stopped drinking earlier. I want him to want me so bad, and now I'm worried sick he'll go back to hating me after what we did."

"Well, that's one thing I can guarantee you. He doesn't hate you. He's sitting on the patio right now trying to figure out his own feelings. If I had to guess, I'd say he's falling for you, and it scares him."

"I'm definitely falling for him," Emily smiled.

Julia returned the smile and gave her a hug. "I love you, my sweet daughter."

"I love you too, Mom. I'm sure it will all work out."

She only had her hope to rely on, and she knew hope wasn't a strategy.

*****

By the time they were called to dinner, Eric and Emily had all of the external tasks completed. Julia helped them for most of the day, so they never got a moment to discuss what was going on between them. Eric's mind was mush all day due to both women wearing spandex shorts and tight tank tops which kept him in a constant state of arousal.

He was sure they did it to tease him, and it irritated him that Julia was in on that treatment. He began to think that the women were too cavalier about his feelings, and it bothered him.

Eric sat at the patio table where Julia served their dinner. It was just leftover lasagna, but it was good, and everyone knows lasagna taste better as leftovers.

When Emily joined them, Julia said, "So, Eric, what did you think about all day?" Both women laughed and Eric took a deep breath to avoid getting too angry and saying something he'd regret.

Emily said, "Relax, Sweetie. We knew you were going to be struggling with your thoughts all day, so we decided to give you something to think about other than the heavy stuff."

Julia shook her chest and said, "And I'm glad the girls still have the ability to get a man's attention."

He shook his head and said, "I'm surprised you're taking my feelings so lightly. I feel horrible about, well, everything, and it's all a joke to you. Maybe now that the hard stuff is done, I should just go home."

"No!" Emily shrieked. "We were just trying to make you think of something else. I'm sorry! I keep screwing everything up." She dropped her fork and ran into the house.

"It's my fault, Eric. I shouldn't have agreed to do it. I thought it might be better for you to have our bodies to ogle all day rather than worry about what to do about Emily. It was stupid and I should know better. Don't take it out on her and please don't go home. I still need your help. Excuse me."

She walked into the house after her daughter and left Eric to wonder what he should do. He didn't have much time to think, however. A car pulled up the driveway and stopped in front of the garage. He looked over and saw two young women exit the car and walk over.

The driver of the car said, "Hi there. We heard Emily was home from school. Is she here?"

Before he could answer, Emily walked out with Julia following. Emily's eyes were red and puffy from crying.

"What are you doing here?" Emily snapped.

The driver, who was a cute short blonde, said, "We wanted to see you, Emmy."

"You know I don't want to see you. I still haven't gotten over what you did, so why don't you just take off."

Eric watched as he ate his dinner. He had no idea what they were talking about, but it was an interesting show, nonetheless. Julia looked at him and mouthed, "the mean girls."

He nodded his understanding and turned his attention back to the drama unfolding.

"Look, Emmy. That was two years ago. It was just a guy, who cares? We were friends."

"Yeah, we were friends. Right up until you fucked my boyfriend and I snapped out of the stupidity I was caught up in. You bitches didn't care about me. I was just one more follower to add to your posse. I see what you were now, and I don't like what I became. Being friends with you cost me too much and I'll never pay that price again."

Eric raised his eyebrows in an unasked question and Julia nodded that it was true. He shook his head and ate a bite of bread.

Emily shouted, "Now get out of here, before I get pissed!"

The ladies returned to their car and left. Eric thought it was an interesting exchange and he got additional insight into what caused her to leave her high school friends behind and return to the girl she was before, as she claimed. It didn't help him with what he struggled, but it helped him understand that she didn't wake up one day and decide she hated what she became. She had her heart broken first. It made a difference in his mind.

*****

"Can we talk?" Emily asked as Eric looked into the fire he started to burn the last of the wood. He waved his hand towards the empty seat beside him.

"I'm sorry about those bitches popping over like that," she started.

"Why? It didn't have anything to do with me."

She frowned, "No, but I was afraid you would think I was lying to you about not being friends with them anymore."

He understood that. It hadn't occurred to him though. He still felt Julia wouldn't lie to him about that, even if Emily had.

"Where do you go to school, Eric?"

He looked at her and said, "Northern."

"That's not too far from where your parents live."

"No, it's just over an hour's drive."

"I go to ISU, it's not that far from Northern."

He smirked, "I know. Your mom told me."

She looked at the fire, "Do you think there's a chance we could see each other?"

"I went to a party there once," he answered. "I suppose anything is possible."

She didn't like that he was avoiding a serious conversation with her.

"Eric, I don't sleep around. I..."

"I don't think you're a slut, Emily, if that's what you're worried about. We have history together. Last night wasn't like you being taken home from a party and getting banged by some jerk you just met."

"I'm sorry," she said, "I just feel like I'm screwing everything up and no matter what I do, it's wrong."

"Your mom keeps telling me to stop overthinking things, I think you need to stop overreacting to things. You can't break down in tears and run into the house every time something doesn't go your way."

"Probably, but I can't help it. I never expected to see you again, yet when I do, you're this fucking Adonis and I'm a complete mess around you."

"I wouldn't say I'm an Adonis. Buff, maybe? Definitely fanciable."

She slapped his arm, "I'm sitting here throwing myself at you, and you're making fun of me."

He laughed, "You don't have to throw yourself at me. You have to know how beautiful you are."

"You already told me my looks don't matter to you. You think I'm an ugly person."

He sighed, "I never actually said that. If I would have said it that day, It would have only been to hurt you back. I really don't know you well enough, anymore, to say how you are inside."

"Do you want to get to know me? I mean other than carnally."

They laughed, and he took her hand. "I tell you what. Let's keep taking it one day at a time, okay? I get it that you want things the way they were when we were kids, well, maybe with the additional benefits, but we have to take it slow."

"As long as you're open to me at least being your friend again," she begged. "I've missed you so much."

He took her hand and said, "I missed you too."

*****

He slept on the couch that night with no visit to Emily's room. They didn't spend any time together alone at all after he took a shower to wash the firepit's smell and the day's sweat off of him. Eric felt they needed to allow each other space to think. It drove Emily crazy with worry that he was just biding his time until the work was done, and he left them for home.

Julia was sipping a cup of coffee when his eyes opened. "Good Morning."

"Morning," she returned. "I'm proud of you, you know."

"For what?" he grumbled, as he sat up to shake the sleep off.

"For sleeping on the couch. It wouldn't have helped anything to make love to her again."

"We agreed to take it slow and get to know each other again. I'm not sure she was all that happy with the decision, but she agreed."

She giggled, "I can't blame her for that. You're a hell of a lover. More important than that, though, is you're a good guy. You're also very mature for your age. My mother would have called you an old soul."

He laughed and stood to get a cup of coffee. "I don't know about all that. I almost went up to her room and woke her three different times."

"But you didn't."

"No."

"Being a mature, responsible adult isn't about having pure thoughts all the time. It's about having control over yourself and your actions. Wanting to go to her room is completely normal. Well, in this house it's kinda fucked up, but making the right decision and sticking to your plan is what's important."

"You know, I wish you were twenty years younger so we could be together," he sighed.

She smiled, "Oh, Eric. The twenty-year-old version of me is upstairs and falling for you more and more every day."

She pulled him into a hug, and they held it for a long time.

"Well, isn't this cozy," Emily said from the stairs. She walked over with a mock pout and said, "No one told me there were free hugs with breakfast today."

They laughed and pulled her into a group hug.

"What did I miss?" Emily asked yawning. "Whew! I need some coffee."

"Let's get you guys your coffee," Julia said. "You didn't miss anything, really. I was complimenting Eric on how mature he is. Most men his age aren't half the man he's become."

Emily smirked and wondered if she was referring to his bedroom skills or his demeanor. "Well, I'm impressed. He's nothing like the jerks I meet at school."

"I'll be sure to tell my parents," he joked as he poured a cup of coffee for Emily then himself.

"Don't worry. I'll tell your mother all about it," Julia countered.

"Wonderful," Eric said sarcastically.

*****

Eric spent the morning mowing the fields. Again, he grumbled curses at Julia's ex-husband for being lazy. He couldn't understand why someone would want to buy a farm and never grow crops. Their land was so large, it would take him the better part of two days to mow it the jungle prairie it became.

At lunchtime, Julia waved him down as he made a pass near the house. "Lunch is ready."

They walked to the patio together where there was a large hunk of lasagna waiting for him. "Where's Emily?" he asked as he forked a mouthful.

"She ate a few minutes ago. She's helping me clean out the attic and went back to it."

"It must be hot up there," he said wiping his brow.

"Yeah, I've sweated through a shirt already," she giggled.

"Is she avoiding me? It's kinda odd she ate before me," he asked without making eye contact.

"Well, I'd like to think no. Honestly, I have no idea what's going on in her head. You seem to be getting along well so I don't know why she would avoid you."

"Okay. Just so you know, at the rate I'm going, I'll be done with the whole field tomorrow afternoon. What's left after that?"

She frowned, "Nothing I need you for. Just the packing up and decluttering of the house."

"You don't want help with that?" he asked with a wink.

The negative shake of her head told him all he needed to know. He'd never be with her again, even if Emily went back to her apartment.

He reached his hand across the table and said, "I'll never forget our time together. You're my dream come true."

She smiled and a tear slid down her cheek. "You know, when mothers watch their daughters grow older and navigate through the minefield of dating, we hope they make the right choices. Sure, we guide them and teach them, hoping they learn lessons some of us had to learn the hard way, but at the end of the day it's all their own choices."

Eric nodded and listened.

"Eric, you, and my daughter coming out of this as a couple would be my dream come true. Even if that's a long way down the road, it's that for which I've always hoped. For her to find a good man. A man who knows how to handle himself. A man who knows how to treat a lady. A man who is hardworking, smart, and mature. If you're that man, it would only make that dream all the better."

"You're putting a lot of pressure on me."

She laughed. "How dare I put a hot blonde, who likes you, in front of you on a silver platter."

Eric smiled, "She is beautiful. I'll give you that."

*****

For the rest of the day Eric did what he'd been doing as of late; he thought about Emily. After a while, he realized he wasn't thinking of Julia any longer. His thoughts were filled with her daughter.

As the days had gone on, he found that he missed her and wanted to be friends with her again. The fact that they made love added a twist that he never would have expected in a million years, but he was glad they had.

He made up his mind and decided to become friends again. He figured, if a love blossomed out of that, it would be a bonus. He believed she changed, and she had been acting like the girl he knew so long ago.

When he saw Emily flagging him down, he looked at his phone and saw it was almost time for dinner.

He walked towards her and with the sunlight at her back, her hair shined brightly, as if it were a halo. The dress she wore was just sheer enough that he could make out the shape of her legs inside it and he was awestruck by the vision.

"What?" she asked when she saw the dumbstruck look on his face.

He didn't respond verbally, he pulled her into him and kissed her. Her shock was such that she didn't return the kiss for a few moments. Then she snapped out of it and pulled him into her and accepted his tongue with hers.

Julia watched from the back door and smiled. "Good job, kids," she whispered and walked back into the kitchen.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what brought that on?" Emily asked, when he broke the kiss.

"I don't know," he lied. "I guess, I just figured it's time to see if we can be friends again."

"Just friends?" she asked hopefully.

He smirked, "Well, I can't say I would be averse to making love to you every once in a while too."

"You know, we haven't even been on a real date yet," she mused.

"We have plenty of time for that."

She kissed him once more and said, "We have the rest of our lives."