All Comments on 'Ides of March Pt. 01'

The scenario is absurd and silly. Just a rehash of G.A.'s February Sucks but so far ... much worse.

just another version of February sucks. That story has so many endings already. There is nothing new here. If all the author is doing is changing the names, it is a waste of time. Why write the same old sh**. Can't come up with any new ideas on your own?

Please don't go the february sucks way even if you're planning on reconciliation make it bit gradual and respectable for the guy

Once the District Attorney catches wind of this, it won't be pleasant. Prostitution is a crime in Clark County, where Las Vegas and subsequently, the Bellagio, are located. Money was exchanged for a date that flirted with an overnight fling. Shaky, maybe? Worth getting a lawyer, definitely. But I believe there is a more devious theme here. Casino's don't lose power for an extended time, they have extensive backup plans that fire up generators. There is too much money laying around for darkness to prevail for even a second. This was rigged and I am sure orchestrated by the Beast (who wouldn't want a dog for a date). I am also sure the wife knew about it, probably discussed it with the Beast while she went to the gathering while hubby was gambling. Were that to be true, solicitation and prostitution charges would be on stronger ground. Great read and I can't wait for the next installment.

Everything else written after the whore deserted him is irrelevant and pointless. You make the kids as brainless as the wife. The marriage was over when she left with the asshole, even if nothing happened. Taking chapters to drag out her confession and failed attempts to lie or minimize just makes the story tedious and boring. I will wait to rate the finished product. Thanks for the effort.

While I like the story, I also admit to stories written in parts over days. I seldom seem to find other parts of stories. Why dont people just write stories all at once? Sounds like you have not even started writing the ending.

Good story!!!!! Let's wait for part two to know more about .... everything 😉👍

Good story!!!!! Let's wait for part two to know more about .... everything 😉👍

With the pieces you've done already I think I like the duke mini series the best, the Feb Sux sequel was unique which was flawed only by the fact that Jim was made at Linda for being kidnapped which I found ridiculous.

In this which is Feb Sux with the serial numbers scratched off (Which is fine, writing official or unofficial Feb Sex fan fiction is a great way to learn and exercise the writing muscle and draw out a lot of comments to see how tough you are) we get the same premise which an interesting new spin but with a couple of flaws.

First, the introduction of Liberal or Conservative politics and the political views of our hero and villian in the introduction. It really points away from the entire idea of the story unless that is going to play a role in the next couple of chapters. But at the same time I find it hard to believe an injured fireman becomes more conservation in the post 9/11 world when his brother first responders had to fight to get their cancers treated by enlisting a comedian to their cause. THEN the villainess/wife becomes more liberal because she is writing and that is part of the "liberal arts" . Liberal Arts and being a Liberal are two different things, there are tons of conservative fiction writers out there including the godmother of all conservatives and libertarians. Liberal Arts as it's taught is simple to look up, I think you made the mistake of believing the revised definition of the word that took place in the 1980s by people like Newt Gingrich and Rush Linbaugh. I'm not saying it's a bad thing to want to write about that but I think it's incorrect to say Politically Liberal and Liberal Studies use the same definition of the word Liberal. This is a huge distraction in your story here because you've basically tacked on an evil villain mustache to the wife by attaching that word to her career as a writer. For the Fireman yes it makes sense that he would transition to being fiscally conservative but in the country's history these heroes tend to get the shaft when they need help recovering from injuries encountered in their dangerous careers.

Again I'm not making a case here having a career as a writer (A "liberal Study") makes your character open to cheating and the "conservative" hero firefighter husband the faithful one. What I'm saying is attaching their story to that Mishegoss muddies the water of your story here. There is enough drama that the husband has put stress on the family because of the injury, for some reason his son has turned his back on his father because they can't play sports together anymore (Which also doesn't work for me either).

Alright, next we never find out in this chapter if the wife actually cheated, it isn't mentioned but the husband is responding like it really happened. At the same time, a team of photographers following the couple on this date and posting about it AND you have the distant son looking at his phone all the time. So no one checked instagram or tiktok? So those parts really didn't hang together for me.

What did work is the overall premise which is an LW classic (Left alone at the dance/wedding/bar/new years eve party) and the drama that followed including the shitty plane ride home for our hero. If this unfolds slowly over weeks thats fine, hopefully you produce the follow up chapters quickly enough to maintain interest (But once the thing is complete readers will discover it as a complete set and read it that way) But I'd avoid asking readers to write their own endings until you are done. It's your story at the end of the day, what you say goes until you are done with it.

Keep going and I hope you take my earlier comments in the spirit I gave them which was me pointing out all that extra info added nothing.

Okay!

4

Excellent, I can see this going the same way as February Sucks with multiple endinds. But that doesn't absolve you of your duty to write the second part. I can't wait (please)

You're whole silliness of asking other authors to finish the story is a weak attempt at being G.A. Not only do you mimick his story, but now are assuming your's is good enough for others to finish. The betrayal you capture isn't even close to what is warranted.

We’ll written narrative with good flow and content. If I see another “February Sucks” rewrite I’ll scream. Fortunately, this story is similar but not. There’s a couple logic gaps that detract from me buying into the overall story. Barbara and the promotion team would have reunited her with her phone and purse, or she would have forced them to get them prior to getting in the limo. You play back and forth where the daughter stands. At her age, she would FULLY understand what’s going on and what it means for her family. I think you did a good job with the husband except he leaves without talking to Barbara about her account of the night. Doesn’t make sense! As for part two, plenty of fertile field to plow. Can’t wait for the pictures the photographer’s took get put on social media. (That said, the premise a charity event would promote infidelity is ludicrous.) 4*

Nobody goes to MooU if they can get in some other place!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Athlete" is an asshole. Wife's a slut. Mediocre copy of George's original tale. That sums it up.

Here is where she screwed up. If she would have been upfront and told him about her fantasy, and possible intentions beforehand, maybe, because it was a celebrity and a one-off, she could have gotten a hall pass. I would have given her one.

My wife and I used to play the celebrity hall pass game, though neither of us ever had the opportunity to call it in

Interesting start, if some well-trod ground. Please finish the story yourself before inviting others to do so. I'll hold off on scoring for now, but need to go #SBrooks for a moment - she's a published novelist, with a multi-book deal with a major publishing house. Why would she even bother to enter a short story contest for amateur writers in a meh magazine? Why would "winning" be such a big deal for her? It's like Mike Trout getting all fired up for winning the American Legion home run derby.

I like the story so far. It is a different twist on the theme. For the record: I hate when authors "leave the ending for someone else`imagination." I am reading the story because what YOU wrote caught my interest. I want to see YOUR ending. It does not stop other people from revisiting it and creating their own endings.

Do your own ending then let anyone who wants to do so try their hand at a different ending. But the authors who write a provocative story and then can't figure out how to bring the story to an end, should reconsider posting at all. Yes, I'm not writing but this is a good, if clearly derivative, story and it deserves an ending by you. If the next part of the story is any good then finish it off in part 3 and invite others to do with it what they will.

Is he an idiot? The minute she asked to bid on a date with another man, regardless if she wins or not, he should've told her.. sure honey, where do I send the divorce papers after your date? I was baffled when he stupidly listened to her nonsense about the odds of her winning🤣🤣🤣.. neither realized MARRIED PEOPLE DON'T GO ON FUCKING DATES.... PERIOD!!!!. we seem to have glossed over this very important info.. all that other bullshit is just that.. bullshit.. married people don't go on dates... he had to have had air in his head to actually agree to her bidding on a DATE with another man.. the sheer stupidity of this is funny😭😭😭😭🤭🤭.. I mean what kind of wimp was he? She said a date and other things... again.. why was he ok with his wife going on a date and other things with another man? Why not let her know right then and there, you even bid $5 for a date and I will divorce your sorry ass and you'll be free to date whoever the fuck you please. You just won't be going on dates while married to me.. There is a reason why the slut thought going on a date and possibly fucking another man was ok... she has no respect for her husband, didn't give him a second thought🤣🤣🤣🤣.. she didn't even call him to tell him she's OK.. why? Because he's a non muthafucking factor🙃... husband? What husband? 🤣🤣🤣🤣... this story was funny... in her mind he'll get over.. the way the pussy acting, I can see him getting over it . I don't care for his daughters attitude. She seem to be blaming him, she kept saying don't embarrass us.. I wonder if she'd have this same energy if it was her dad that bid on a date with another woman, sneaked out and left them standing there?🤔.. would she be as happy and overjoyed for her dad like she clearly was for her mom?😏😂😂😂😂 .. hell no... I think the slut is rubbing off on their daughter... he may be raising a potential little cum slut who thinks married people can go on dates... her attitude was just a NO for me. At her age, I knew married people don't go on dates, I knew it's not ok to cheat on your spouse. My parents are divorced due to my dad and his community penis. I just thought it was weird she was windmillilng for her mom slutty behavior. Even if the slut didn't sleep with her date( I doubt that very much).. the blatant disrespect, blatant fuck you, your feelings, this marriage and our vows. Would've been enough for me.. kids or no kids... What she did was more than cheating, it was telling him exactly what she thought of him and their relationship.. she's selfish.. it's about her and what she wants. Damn everybody else.

Poor man's "February Sucks". Not some silly stupid mistake. Planned and deliberate betrayal and cheating on the wife's part. I swear, if some man doesn't know what he'd do in such a case then he's a utter simpleton. Planned cheating is a relationship deal breaker. If you and your relationship partner don't know what your relationship deal breakers are you're just leaving yourself open to be blindsided for such a situation. The thing is, there's no path to restitution for betrayal and cheating. How do you restore what's been taken away, surrendered and lost when it comes to infidelity? Cheaters always say they plan on "making it up" to the cheated upon party but are always vague on the details. That's because basically they plan on having you compromise your principals, ignoring your relationship deal breakers and forcing you into reconciliation. They'll guilt trip you into honoring your commitments even though the cheater didn't honor their commitments. Reconciliation is a risky investment for the cheated upon spouse with no guarantee that the cheater's remorse is real (and the wife in this story hasn't really showed any evidence of remorse) and will last any length of time. We already know how they feel about keeping their commitments...they don't. Past behavior is a good predictor of future behavior. Also, reconciliation in itself doesn't address a cheater's sense of entitlement. Entitlement, you know how the wife felt she was entitled to this night of debauchery with the famous athlete while ignoring her husband and family all for selfish wish fulfillment.

Why not call the police? ..... my wife has been taken against her will by a NFL football player and they won't let me contact her....

A story that started well and can only end with a divorce. Who would want to live with a woman who, at almost forty, still behaves like a teenager and embarrasses her husband to the bone!

The husband had every right to ghost the slut bitch. His almost grown children were either brain dead or stupid.

You must decide if are going to present your ending of this...If you are leaving it to other authors, than why read part 2 of this? Your last phrase deserves 1*

Another woman getting hit by The Martian Slut Ray. Stupid, stupid! But then again it's jus a story. Problem is this shit really happens. 5 stars

You wrote very enticing and disturbing version of feb. sucks , but that’s exactly what you said you’d do with this new series . You did it and you did it well ! But I like many commentators implore you to finish this story yourself , you saw how so many writers hacked the February Sucks story so horribly bad it made a person apprehensive to read them , it would be a travesty to allow others to take your suckling baby from your teat and blindly wander off with it !

I know it is fantasy but please check a map before moving cities around.

Ok, I came here to read about wives that fuck other men. All we have here is questions. Either write about her night getting fucked or just stop all together.

Meh, another story abut a weak loser of a man. And yes he is exactly that. If you can't see it then you are the same as the husband. 1*

CHUCK2468

Yup, Uh huh, sure enuff. Reads just like Feb. Sux in Vegas without the snow & 8 friends. LP

Please finish the the story. It’s your story. If someone else want to write an alternate ending let them. As float as the story goes I hated Barb but reading the 2nd part could see how she and Rob had grown apart. Usually I am a BIG fan of “burn the bitch” stories but I could see these two getting back to feather but. NOT remarried.

Anonymous4 days ago

Yup, Uh huh, sure enuff. Reads just like Feb. Sux in Vegas without the snow & 8 friends. LP

yeah feels like he is trying to recreate feb sucks

im not sure why he is questioning staying married idk maybe for the kids but they seem old enough. she lost respect for him guessing during his injury and healing. feels like she is trying to hurt him on her way out of the marriage

What a Nightmare Scenario! A loyal and Faithful wife suddenly hit with the martian Slut Ray! How can the husband survive this betrayal? So unexpected! So devastating! I wrote my own response but getting it published on here is Tremendously Challenging. Besides I could NEVER write like Mr Cooking with Gas! This writer is a genius, a real Master with words. I could never write like this writer. My Thinking and writing is No where near his level. 100 stars to writer. Thank you for another Great Story. Similar to the Great George Anderson's Story February Sucks. So much to think about and ponder. What could you do? How would you feel? If Barbara was you wife and disappeared for 18 hrs? I know I'd be shattered and heartbroken. I mean destroyed. Or should I just say "hope you had a good time" and forget about or get my sloppy seconds? Wow, what a "mindfuck" and heart break!

A well told story, so far. I’ll hope the quality continues. 5 stars.

This part just looks like a knock off of some version of February Sucks?

Yeah right Cuckboy is like I'm so mad right now how long till I can forgive you because I'm a fucking wimp

Well done. I hope the next couple of parts live up to the first chapter. That said, the reader has to be willing to give "the willing suspension of disbelief" in order for the story to work. Here's a happy family, where the wife and husband have a great relationship and she flounces off with a pro athlete and fucks him for the night? I just don't see that happening in real life for a woman who fits Barbara's profile. But hey, it's a story and if one accepts this could happen then the story is quite good. 5*****

Enjoyed the story so far. Looking forward to see where it goes. Thanks for your writing.

Just reread this. Still 5 stars.

She is a whore, nothing more. Justify it anyhow, funding someone because they are famous, makes you a whore

I sure hope this doesn’t end in a RAAC. divorce the slut. As he said she had lots of choice. The Knight from the Indy and the Holly Grail - she choose poorly. And we know how that ended.

The next two chapters get so bad... beware.

A whore getting away with being a whore... 2 stars, for your effort.

Well told so far. Its very like Feb Sucks but different enough to be entertaining. I'll be interested to see where this goes. BardnotBard

What she did or didn’t do while she was gone is irrelevant. The betrayal is in her choices. First, to even enter a contest to go on a date with someone else. Second to not tell her husband anything about it. Third, to actually leave her family and walk away.

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Divorce, and sole custody to him is the absolute minimum consequence. Punishing her, the jock, and the enablers is the preferred option!

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ZK