Ides of March Pt. 01

"Win a Night with New York Giants all-pro linebacker Billy 'The Beast' Bronson" was typed in large font at the top. Under was a sexy photo of the football star. It was down towards the bottom that I read over and over again.

"Top bid wins a night (and maybe a morning)" - there was a wink emoji next to that part - "with superstar Billy Bronson"

Then in smaller print, it read, "'Date' requirements per contract. Winning contestant agrees to film crew accompanying during the 'night on the town' portion of said date, with crew disengaging no later than 11:00pm. Contestant agrees entirety of date is for charity and between consenting adults. Contestant agrees date will terminate at any time after 11:00pm, but not later than 24 hours, from 6:00pm on day the date begins until 6:00pm the next day."

I had to clear my head. The kids wore worried looks on their faces. They had never seen their father like this before. I wandered the lobby after sneaking a look into the ballroom. The kids were right. Everyone who could help me was gone. I saw a few familiar faces that had been at either the morning event or auction, coming and going from the bar, and the casino. Were those sneers, or was I losing my mind? I did go to the front desk.

"Excuse me, William Bronson's room, can you ring it please?" The friendly young woman looked at her screen, while typing. "There's no guest by that name registered, sir."

The hits kept coming. He must have been in the lobby for another reason last night. When I got back upstairs, the kids were sitting in the common area instead of their rooms. When Desi went to take a shower, Mark started talking to me.

"Dad, are you gonna be okay? I mean you and Mom are gonna be okay, right?"

I shook my head. "I don't know, Mark. We'll have to wait and see. If she comes back by, say midnight, things might be alright. Anything else, well, we will just have to see how it goes."

Mark didn't have much else to say, so he went to his room, and I sat there just staring at whatever was on the TV. Desi came out in one of the hotel robes, with her hair wrapped in a towel. She studied me for a bit, and then sat down on the sofa to my right.

"Talk to me, Dad. What's going through your mind?"

I just shook my head, like I had with my son. I think I was still in shock at what transpired, and I had no words.

"I can see how upset you are. Let's talk about it. Or, if you want, let's talk about something else, you know, to take your mind off it."

I hadn't been all that happy with Desi lately. She was always a 'Daddy's girl' but I'd felt her slipping away for a while. I had chalked it up to her getting older and needing me less. Now I was seeing a new side of Des. Clearly, she still cared about me. I should have known that. But guys are clueless sometimes. Obviously, although younger than her brother, she was already much more mature. She was at least reading some of my emotions correctly.

"I don't know what to say, kiddo. I'm pretty mixed up right now, as you can imagine."

She nodded knowingly.

"If she comes home tonight, you two are gonna be good, right?"

I shrugged.

"Maybe. Probably. It still doesn't excuse her going like that. I'm sure she read that entire poster. The only thing on her side right now, is the way those fuckers...sorry, those people whisked them off for their date. I should have read the poster, or what she was signing as well. We wouldn't be here now if I did."

"But Dad, it's just a date. Think about it. Mom didn't expect to win. I know Mom. We wouldn't have made plans as a family if she knew something in advance. I think it's just the circumstances. Everything weird that happened and she was just stuck."

She was definitely more mature than I'd ever noticed, but not quite an adult yet.

"No Des, it's a little more than that. She should have told me, at bare minimum, what the winner received. Maybe she had no way of knowing the date was immediately afterwards, or even that she had the chance to win. But once they told her backstage, that was her chance to back out. She could have done anything, or a dozen other things. She could have freely given up the prize date to the person who bid before her. She could have just said no. At the very least, she could have told them she needed to talk to her husband first."

Desi contemplated all that. "So you think she snuck out? Like she did it on purpose? If you think that, then you must be worried that she's gonna...I mean, she's not coming back tonight."

She was wise beyond her years. Still, she was my kid, so I figured it was as good a time as any to have this conversation.

"Yeah. I'm worried alright. You know how she is about her team. Even if she was a Lions fan, she's on a date with a guy who's, how do I say it, an incredible physical specimen. It would hurt me very much if she ends up making bad choices."

"But Dad, that doesn't mean she doesn't love you. You know she does." Then a very desperate look came over Desi's face. "Dad, what if she doesn't ever come back?"

Desi was crying instantly and I held her to my chest rocking back and forth.

I ordered ice cream room service, and we watched a pay per view movie - action, not romance. Mark was in his room on his device for most of the night, but came out near the end of the movie and sat with us. We didn't talk anymore about their mom's date because, well, we were all spent on that topic. We discussed the following day's plans, which were to walk the strip, ending up at New York, New York. They wanted to ride the roof top roller coaster. Almost right at 11:00, the kids seemed to decide they didn't want to be around for the fireworks, so they went into their rooms, presumably to do social media.

I stayed awake - glued to the sofa, actually - until midnight. Then I paced another half hour. The worst fear I had was coming true. She was going to spend the night. There was nothing I could do about it. I did my best to think rationally, but it was hard after a day like I'd had. Some of what happened seemed like coincidence, or fate. That would depend on Barb coming back to the room soon, or not. The auction wasn't something I could object to. I should have paid more attention to what she was signing on for, and I felt a bit responsible for that.

We'd done similar things in our little town in Ohio with the various firemen's fundraisers. Although not with as famous a celebrity, or with the openness of extending the date into spending the night. That was the magazine, and to a degree, their progressive views, I supposed. One would think, with those parameters, married women would be excluded. However, our society was now probably more concerned about inclusivity rather than fidelity. And the fact they held this event in Las Vegas, suddenly seemed apropos. The event coordinators and marketing team had left the terms of the prize, being a twenty-four hour date, vaguely open, only putting in a few legalities to cover the magazine's ass.

So it all came back on my wife and her choices. She certainly hadn't had much time at all to think it over. We all been there, and watched her mostly just react. If they'd told her she was the winner backstage before announcing it, then, again, it was all on her, but I doubted that had happened. At some point after 12:00, the exhaustion must have caught up with me.

Desi woke me at about 7:30 in the morning, flustered. "Dad. Dad! Wake up!"

I shrugged her off a little. Then remembering my situation, I bolted straight up. I looked at her expectantly, but her returned gaze was sorrowful.

"She's not in your room, Dad," my daughter said anxiously.

Rubbing my face, I sat up. As everything came back to me, I couldn't rub away the awful realization that I was soon to be single. I moved quickly to the bathroom and heaved.

Desi was frantically knocking on the door. "Daddy, are you okay? Come on Dad, we have to do something. We have to find her."

I couldn't face my fourteen-year-old just then. To see her father at his lowest point, I just couldn't do it. I said something about letting me shower, and turned the hot water on all the way. It was one of the longer showers of my life. My emotions were all over the board, and I fought to gain control, but it took a good half hour. I steeled myself to face my children and walked into the bedroom. All was quiet in the suite. Instinctively, I looked at the bed, hoping against hope. It was freshly made, looking exactly as it had last night.

I was about to text the kids when the door opened. Mark approached for a hug, while Desi handed me a large coffee from the lobby Starbucks. "You okay, Daddy?" she asked apprehensively.

"Honestly honey, I'm not. But we have a day planned, so I'm going to try to focus on that."

"Dad," she stated incredulously, "Mom's not back. Shouldn't we start looking for her?"

I sighed deeply. "Kids, her phone is here. No way to call, no way to track with the app. Besides, she's on a date, remember?" I have no idea why that made me smile. It was cathartic. They didn't see the humor. "I checked last night to see if Bronson was staying here. He's not, so we don't even know what hotel they're at. We don't know when she'll be back. When she does she's going to want to explain, but that's going to ruin the rest of our time. That's not fair to you guys. We should at least go have fun, and deal with...this later tonight."

Desi was having none of that. "I want to wait a little longer. There's no way I can have any fun worrying about her with a complete stranger." She was mature, but there was still a fourteen-year-old girl in there. She had no idea what was to come.

"Des, she's with one of the most recognizable athletes in the world." I offered breakfast at the swank restaurant downstairs as a compromise. We all decided to leave Barb's phone and purse where she could easily see them, in case she returned before we did.

Breakfast was as lighthearted as the three of us could make it. We got back to the room just after 11:00am with no sign of the kids' mother. That's exactly how I thought of her, not as my wife. I told them we should get ready to go, so they slunk off to gather their backpacks.

At 11:20, Barb came rushing through the door. The look on her face was priceless, and may have even given me pause, if I wasn't so furious. At least she had the good sense not to appear normal.

The kids ran to her for a hug, asking a million questions all at once. I never moved. She finally had to settle them down. "Okay, okay. I'm back. One question at a time."

I cleared my throat in the background, stating, "That can wait til later, kids. We're already running way behind." All of them looked at me like I had two heads. Barb, being the so-called adult, saw my face and shrunk back.

"Rob, I'm so sor..." I cut her off.

"Don't! I barked, trying to maintain control. "Don't you dare. We've been worried sick. Waiting and waiting while you were off f...on your date. We've been waiting all morning too, still worried."

She immediately replied, "Why were you all worried? You knew where I..." It dawned on her finally, that we'd had no idea, and that she'd left us hanging. I wasn't going to let it slide.

"There's your purse and your phone. I suggest the next time you're out gallivanting about on your adventures; you try to keep it with you. 'Be right back', my ass."

The kids looked on in horror. Their mother seemed to have plenty to say, except even with her lips moving, no words were coming out.

"Dad," Desi spoke up, "let's wait for Mom so we can all go together as a family. Go get ready, Mom." I was completely stunned. It felt like my baby girl had just totally disregarded me, not caring that I'd been betrayed. And betrayed was exactly what I was feeling. In fact, I think I knew precisely how Julius Caesar had felt on that fateful March 15^th. If Barbara had used any common sense in the past twelve hours, it happened just then. Something she saw, completely changed her demeanor, and she said the right words.

"Desi, Mark, your father's right," she said, "He and I have plenty to talk about. We all do, I suppose, but it's not fair that you should have to wait anymore. This is supposed to be your day. Go with your dad. Go have fun. Maybe after some of the emotions set...when things calm a bit, I'll catch up with you later in the afternoon. Keep your phones on and answer them for a change. Now go." Her tone left no room for debate.

Desi found some anyway. She didn't have quit in her. "But Mom, it's supposed to be a family..."

Barb cut her off. "Go!" she pointed to the door.

I picked up my phone and started out, following a very disappointed Desiree. When I passed Barb, she went for a hug and I side-stepped her. That hurt her, but she still mouthed the words, "I love you." I did not reply.

About 3:30, Barb texted Desi, asking where we were. Desi replied and let her mom know we were eating at Shake Shack, outside of New York, New York.

"Was that your Mother?" I asked.

"Yeah. She wanted to know where we are. Dad, I know you're upset. More than upset. I am too. But she's my mom. Can you please try to hold it together? For a little while, for Mark and me?"

I wanted to be mad at Desi, but none of this was her fault. She'd be lucky to understand how devastated my heart and soul is by the age of forty, because after all, she wasn't a man. Most women never do.

The first half of our day and then the last half were like, well, day and night. No pun intended. The air was thick with tension once Barb joined us. She couldn't seem to find any words that would be meaningful, and all my responses to her used as few words as possible - usually one or two. I think she thought her first opportunity would come when Mark and Des got in line to ride the roller coaster. I've never been a fan of those rides, and, since my injury, I was pretty much prohibited from them for my own health.

Barb saw me get in line and stood flabbergasted. "Rob, you can't ride that. You could get hurt."

"I'm fine," was all I said.

She stood talking to the kids in line until we got to be next up, and then she left towards where the ride exited.

"Dad, come on." Mark said. "You're treating Mom like an outcast. I know you two have a lot to discuss, but please be civil, at least until we get back to the room."

I couldn't hold it in anymore. "You two have no idea how close your Mom and I are right now to divorcing. You're too young to understand all this, and it's not your fault. I'm doing the best I can, but I'm barely able to keep it together. So just stop it! I didn't do anything. This is all on her."

Des was about to say something, but I think she realized I was this close to losing it. We got on the ride, and it wasn't too bad - probably because all my muscles were already tense. Later, the kids ran ahead because the fireworks show was starting at Treasure Island. Barb slowed and looked at me.

"Rob, I can see how much I've hurt you. We have a lot to talk about, I know. I want you to know I made a stupid mistake, and I'm sorry. I love..."

I cut her off again. "Don't Barbara, please. Don't say it. You have no idea the rage burning in me right now. None whatsoever. I'm holding my temper and hanging by a thread. You say one wrong thing, and I lose it, then I do something or say something I can never take back. I'm so fucking mad at you right now, I could spit nails. How could you do something like this to me, to us, and our family? Don't answer that."

Barb saw I wasn't joking. I thought she'd noticed when she walked into our hotel room, but was hoping to salve my wounds - whatever she thought those wounds entailed. But apparently she didn't know. Fortunately, she changed the subject.

"Then maybe we should try to get a flight back tomorrow. I mean if tomorrow is going to be like this..." she already realized her mistake before it came off her lips. "I mean, with everything that's happened I doubt there's much fun left, or much point."

"No. I've already thought it through. I'm going to catch a few hours' sleep tonight on the sofa. I'll pack my stuff tonight so I don't wake anyone, and I'm taking off early for the airport. I'll change my flight when we get back tonight. You spend some time with them tomorrow. They deserve that."

"Okay, but we should talk about this," she pleaded. "We can't just let it stew."

"Barb, it already stewed. It's stewing and boiling right now. Don't you understand a word I've said? We'll talk when you get back. Or, more accurately, when I'm ready to talk. Right now I can't stand to even look at you."

An involuntary moan escaped Barb's mouth, sort of like someone had knocked the wind out of her, as she tried to hold back a sob. Just then we caught up to the children.

I had been up early as promised, and here I sit on my long flight back to Cleveland, with only my thoughts and my pain. My female fellow-flyer is leaning against the window, sleeping. That's the good news. Her snoring is the bad.

Do I know what I should do? No, absolutely no idea. I do know all of this is very raw at the moment, so deciding anything is probably the worst idea. I also know I can't be around her for a while. That might hurt my relationship with my kids for a bit, however, there's no way around it. First thing, once I get home will be to pack and make a reservation at an extended stay hotel. Then I can started thinking...

Part II coming soon. Part III? Well, I have an ending but I might leave it open to other authors imaginations. We'll see!