Idolatria Ch. 12

It was hard to breathe. I struggled to prop my head up, immediately reaching out but stopping just shy of my dick... Levi hadn't told me to do anything yet. I looked to him helplessly.

"There's a good boy," he smiled. "That's right. You wait for my orders. Your body will learn that when you're obedient and trust in your Dom, he will always ensure that you're well taken care of." As he spoke, Levi uncapped the bottle with his free hand and let silky liquid drip down my shaft. "Go on."

I didn't need telling twice. Relief immediately flooded my stomach as I pushed myself into my hand and massaged the slick into my skin. The waves in my core turned to riptide, making me inhale sharply with the sensation. "Fuck. Thank you... thank you, Sir, oh, God -"

I was becoming overwhelmed fast. Teased and excited for hours, Levi's long fingers pushing hard inside me, forcing that little spot to gush pleasure through me that only carried further with every word he spoke in his beautiful, deep voice... And finally being allowed to touch, my fingers were stumbling to meet his demand, to submit and solidify his hold on my shaking body through my hands. I stroked myself with a desperation I'd never felt this intensely before. My other hand ran along the inside of my right thigh, mindlessly trying to increase the already crushing sensation in any way possible, and high-pitched noise spilled out with every irregular breath... And then Levi's hand slid the length of my torso and took hold of my collar, yanking me forward to look at him.

"Good boy," he breathed out. "I can feel how close you are. Focus on me, and I'll let you come."

"Fu -"

Levi's voice set me off at once. He'd barely finished speaking, barely let go of my collar before the pleasure climbed and nearly exploded in my hips - and didn't stop. The color of his eyes burned into my own before I involuntarily screwed my face up, mouth hanging open and unable to breathe as the heat burst in shockwaves through my belly, and I could almost feel it rush through the tunnel of my fingers as the air released from me in a loud, uncontrollable cry -

And I shuddered and stiffened as something warm struck me in the face.

Through the blaring ring in my ears I heard Levi swear and stifle laughter. I couldn't move. My body only unlocked once the aftershocks had finally started to subside, and I let my head crash onto the pillows with a hollow sigh. Levi's voice pushed through the numbing fog in my head.

"Ash - hold still. Don't open your eyes."

I thought this was an odd request, but whatever hit me in the face was sticking to my lips and streaking up over my left eye, reaching my brow. Out of morbid curiosity, I ran my tongue along the corner of my mouth... although I was pretty sure what had just happened. Fuck, though. My cum didn't taste anything like Levi's. I was dropped back to earth by the sensation of his fingers easing out of me.

"Shit..." I hissed in through my teeth, squirming. "Thought I was gonna pass out."

Levi chuckled. "Yeah... seemed pretty intense. I mean it, don't open your eyes. I've got you."

Levi's hand held my chin up, the other gently running something cool and damp over my face. The scent of leather and lubricant was gone from his hands. I only dared to look up at him when he'd taken the cleaning cloth away and moved to my splattered torso. His calm smile held this kind of muted satisfaction that did nothing to lower my pulse... nor did the fresh cloth he wrapped around my softening dick to rub me clean, raising a second, smaller wave of aftershocks that I had to grit my teeth through while he finished with my ass.

"You okay now?" he asked, once this detail was apparently done.

"I will be," I smirked halfheartedly. "Just... kinda drunk. Thanks," I added, taking the wipe he'd just passed me for my lube-slick hand.

He smiled wider, carefully shifting me out of his lap and leaning over me to pull my mouth to his for a moment before he got up and stretched.

"What the fuck do you eat?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Why?"

"Cuz you're... you taste... different than me," I said, embarrassed. "I've never actually tasted... that before. Mine or someone else's. But mine's, like... salty. Weird salty."

Levi laughed. "I mean, yeah... that's normal."

"Is it?" I asked. "Yours is... kinda sweet."

"Interesting. Speaking of, are you hungry? I'm fucking starving."

I wrestled myself upright with some difficulty, leaning up against the cool leather headboard as Levi plucked his phone from the nightstand and flicked through it. "What time is it?" I asked.

"Just past seven," he replied, glancing at me. "Do you need to go home?"

I was about to answer, but... Did I? It wasn't like I had a curfew, or even anything to do the next day. "I can... stay longer," I shrugged. "I could definitely eat..."

"Yeah?" Levi sat back beside me with a grin. "Do you wanna just stay the night?"

"Here?"

He laughed again. "No, downstairs in the shop. Yes, here, Ash. In my bed, before you ask."

I chewed my lip, my face burning. My first instinct was to call my parents and tell them, but - fuck. I'm 23. And I probably shouldn't be broadcasting that I'm sleeping at... sleeping with...

I felt a stupid grin pulling at my mouth and bit down on my lip to suppress it, then nodded slowly. "Yeah... I... yeah. Sure."

Levi's smile broadened. "Good. I'm ordering from the Chinese place around the corner. What do you want?"

‡

The night was... oddly normal. Levi lived literally around the block from our resident Chinese takeout joint, so we walked over to pick up dinner and chatted the whole way. Brazenly, I'd chosen to leave the collar on because the trip was short and used mainly empty side roads. The family who ran the takeout place wouldn't even look at me askance anyway; though Levi did steal a moment in the darkness between streetlights on the way home to yank me over by it and kiss me. Even in shadow I was embarrassed enough to cuff him for that one.

We put a mindless show on TV that we only half-watched and mostly talked through over our food. Levi ate his with chopsticks and tried to teach me, to amusingly disastrous results. I hadn't realized how hungry the whole day had made me... Guess this kinda thing works up an appetite.

We didn't actually talk about anything sexual most of the time. I talked about my tennis exhibitions and how the brackets and games worked. Levi told me stories from hockey games he'd attended - I hadn't expected him to be into any kind of sport, but he said he'd had minor league season passes for a while, and still had Phantoms gear from then.

And over time, the space between us on the couch disappeared between pointless talk that somehow closed the distance further. I liked things this way... Just talking to Levi like he was another guy. Being made to feel like a normal guy through the way he treated me, rather than someone he wanted to sleep with.

Course... When he dragged me into his arms for another makeout sesh, I wasn't going to complain.

‡

I hadn't slept over someone's house in years, much less their bed. Even if I stuck over Marc's place, we'd basically stopped sharing his futon when our voices broke. It ended up not being that much different from what I remembered whenever I forgot an overnight bag going to Marc's. Levi gave me a spare toothbrush of his and offered me pajama pants that would probably fit. I only ever slept in tees and underwear if it wasn't freezing out, so I just kept the clothes I came over in, and Levi ended up stripped back to his boxer briefs, which somehow kept distracting me while I tried to brush my teeth beside him in the tight bathroom.

Levi's room was a totally different space with the lights off. The bars over the bed sort of melted into the dark, shapes barely illuminated by the strip of light from a streetlamp outside the half-curtained window. I'd already mostly settled down when Levi climbed in beside me, then paused.

"Do you take your necklace off at night?" he asked.

"Oh, geez -" I sat up and reached behind me for the clasp, my fingers brushing the buckle of the collar as well. "I honestly forgot... mind's elsewhere right now. Guess I should take this off, too, huh?"

"Mhm. Let me." I leaned forward so Levi could undo the band while I wrapped the chain of my necklace up to keep it from tangling, and he placed the collar in my other hand. "It's not really meant to be slept in," he said. "When it breaks in a little more, you might be able to... But right now, it'll just irritate your skin. I'm kinda still impressed you wanted to wear it outside."

I laughed, tucking my face down as I set my ill-paired jewelry on the nightstand. "It was, uh... I mean, if no one's gonna see me who matters..."

"I'm not going to encourage you to wear it in public where you don't feel safe being seen, though," he told me. "That... goes for us, as well."

I chewed my lip and slid down under the covers. "Well... It's not like I'd be embarrassed - I mean, I don't care what -"

"I never thought you'd be embarrassed of me, Ash. But I also understand that you're a young man in a community that may not necessarily accept your romantic interests. It may not be comfortable to have to hide that... But I'm not going to hesitate in affording you discretion."

It was the first time I'd actually thought about the consequences of my own sexuality outside of what it meant to me. I had never had anything about me that I felt like I needed to hide... And my immediate thought was Fuck them. If they don't like who I choose to love, then that's not my problem. I almost said this to him, but... he was right. I knew he was right. It wouldn't even matter to them that I was with Levi - it only mattered that Levi and I were both men.

I sighed in frustration, rolling on my side towards him. "Yeah... okay."

"I know it sucks," he sighed, sinking down beside me. "Just need to make sure you're safe."

"I know... Hey - did you braid your hair or something?"

He flicked the tie resting on his shoulder and shrugged. "Just the ends. If I don't, I'll wake up with it in my mouth."

"I guess I couldn't picture you knowing how..."

"It's really not much different than ropework."

I snorted and tried to relax, but it was hard for my pulse to stabilize enough to let me rest. Somehow, even with everything that had happened, everything we'd already done... Why was I still so shy around Levi? It felt like asking the world of me to sleep next to him. His face in profile, eyes closed and lips just barely parted, disarmed me in this unfathomable way. He seemed to realize I was staring and turned to look back with a smile.

"Tired yet?" he asked.

"Not that much," I admitted.

He rolled over to face me with his arm tucked under the pillow. "Yeah, well.. No one's ever tired at their first sleepover."

I smiled back. "I don't wanna keep you up, though... You don't seem like you get enough sleep."

"What makes you say that?" he frowned.

"You've always got these shadows under your eyes..."

"Oh, that's - I've always had those. Seriously. I don't know why."

"Oh. Well... for what it's worth, they... look good on you for some weird reason."

"Mhm. Speaking of," he grinned, "did you know how many freckles you have on your ass? It's insane."

"I can't say I look often," I laughed, feeling my ears burn.

"You're covered in them. 'Specially at your lower back, the base of your spine."

"I used to wanna get rid of them... when I was a kid. I hated them so much."

"I'm glad you can't. They're beautiful."

I swallowed, keeping my eyes down. "I, uh... I guess."

Levi's fingers brushed my hair back, his thumb lingering, stroking my cheek, raising my pulse further. "I mean that," he said softly. "It was one of the first things I noticed about you. Remember thinking how I wanted to kiss every place you had them. Wanted to find out how far down your body they ran."

"Shut up - you did not."

"I did. And I'm telling you because I don't think you believed me when I said you were beautiful the first time. Or the second. Or now."

I could feel my face almost stinging from how flushed my skin was. Nervously I sank further down into the covers, feeling remarkably like a turtle in a fluffy shell. "When was... that?" I asked reluctantly.

"When I noticed how cute you were?" he asked. "First time I caught you staring at me. First time I came to church."

I blinked and looked back up at him, finding his face as calm and relaxed as ever. "What do you mean, caught me staring...?"

He gave me a subtle grin. "Did you... not realize the looks you were throwing at me every week? You couldn't seem to keep your eyes off me."

"I - of course I was looking at you, the way you were dressed -"

"It wasn't really the way you look at someone you just think is weird." He laid an idle hand over the covers, stroking my side. "It was the kind of look that made me want to keep coming back to church every week in the hopes that you'd do something about it. And you did."

I just laid there with my eyes closed, letting Levi's gentle petting unwind me. Had I... always been looking at him like that? I didn't really know what to say. It still felt unnatural to hear Levi talking about me like this, praising my body, unabashedly confessing how he felt about me without a second thought.

As I lay fidgeting with the blanket, the strokes along my side slowed. "What happened while you were gone?" he asked, voice low.

I glanced at him hesitantly. "I don't really... nothing happened, exactly."

"Nothing at all?" he said. "I mean, I'm assuming something had to have happened... Because you came back and greeted me by prostrating yourself and begging forgiveness."

"It wasn't that dramatic."

"It was close."

My lip caught in my teeth again. "I just... that's just it. Nothing happened. Everything went back to normal, like you'd never been there at all... except for me." When I found him still quietly watching me, I inhaled and kept going. "I don't... You know you were right about me. About everything. How I felt, why I was running, how stupid it was. It just took me longer to accept it and admit what I wanted... what I needed."

Levi paused, his mouth flattening. "That might be the case, but... I need you to understand that you weren't the only one at fault there, Ash," he told me. "I... could have handled the situation better. A lot better. You needed comfort and support, not me yelling at you. It was wrong for me to..." He trailed off, eyes slipping closed. "You need to understand that. You need to know that I fucked up. I never stopped... regretting how that played out."

"I - no - Levi..." I found myself reaching out, wanting to touch him but unsure exactly how. I laughed weakly as my arm withdrew. "I didn't exactly make it easier on you..."

"Not a reason to lose control of the situation," Levi muttered. He huffed through a repressed smile. "My trainer would have beat my ass if he was there. He just about did when I told him what happened."

"Your... trainer?" I frowned.

"Mm. Guy who taught me to be a Dom."

"You have to get trained for that?"

"Not usually," he laughed. "It's just how things ended up happening for me. It was a long time ago. Shit, I was actually around your age then."

"You still talk to him, though?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"Mhm. All the time," he sighed. "Told him about you. Told him about times we've hung out. Told him what a fucking idiot I was for losing you."

"What did he say?"

"That I'm definitely a fucking idiot, but at least I own up to it. And that that's what I get for trying to collar an altar boy."

I snorted, and surprisingly, felt comfortable enough now to shift closer to him. Heart in my mouth, I pressed my lips to his, tasting the same peppermint that lingered on the back of my tongue. He let out a muted noise and ran his fingers back through my hair again.

"Can't be too much of an idiot if the altar boy's half-naked in your bed," I whispered.

"Guess not," he murmured sleepily. "Go to sleep, Ash."

"'Kay." I still thought it would be impossible to get myself to sleep with Levi right there. But I was warm, and exhausted, and his bed was all pillowtop and soft blanket that I felt myself melting into. His body heat was soothing the longer I let myself bask in it. Not too far away, I could faintly hear the freight train that ran sporadically through the middle of town, horn blaring and track rattling. I sighed and let my eyes close, almost on the edge of drifting off when Levi's voice came floating out of the darkness.

"Think I liked you better all-naked."

"... Shut up."