If I Had You

This is my first attempt at writing in a long time and my first in this genre.

I used to write regularly in college but drifted away. Wrote for work but not this type of story. I hope you enjoy. I'm open to any critiques, but please be gentle.

This is Chapter 1 of a story that will start slowly and build.

The sound of a deep, tonal bell struck - as if Big Ben was clanging on his bed side table. Almost silent at first but quickly rising in intensity until it was loud enough to wake him up. Jay slowly opened his eyes to the familiar sound of his alarm clock and quietly cursed out the noise. He specifically chose those bells because they slowly ramped up in pitch making them impossible to ignore. He didn't want to be jolted first thing in the morning, he needed some melodic coaxing to get moving. It was 5:15 and that meant time to get up and hit the gym.

Jay dragged himself out of bed and walked to the bathroom. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and was enthusiastic to see his workout routine was paying off. A slice of light reflected off the glass, highlighting him in a flattering way. His work outs, plus eating better, built up his muscular 5'8" frame to a pleasing 160lbs. He was beginning to like the way he looked, even if he did hate getting up this early. His brown wavy hair, currently sporting a bad case of bed head, green eyes and slight stubble looked better now. He stared at himself as if he didn't recognize the reflection - almost voyeuristic. The new Jay was focusing on himself and didn't feel guilty.

-

Jay gathered himself and got ready to hit the gym. He slipped on his sneakers, a pair of blue running shorts and a white tank top and ran a comb through his messy hair. Good enough he told himself - most mornings he was there by himself anyway. Very few, if any, of his neighbors took advantage of the gym in their building. Jay took the elevator to the basement, and much like every other morning, the place was empty. He put his earbuds in and started his workout playlist, a combo of upbeat new and retro dance mixes. He made his way around the gym, making sure to get a few minutes on every piece of equipment. Finally, on his third lap around the gym Jay was done.

He wiped the sweat from his face and body and headed back upstairs.

He immediately turned on the television as he got ready to shower and dress. He watched the top news of the morning, really just wanting to check the weather forecast. Cold, gray and dreary was in the picture for today with a possibility of snow moving in this week. According to the meteorologist, a front was moving across the country looking to drop a sizeable amount of snow on the Philly area. After showering and styling his hair, he dressed in a pair of black jeans, a white button down shirt and a black suede vest - professional yet comfortable. He slipped on his favorite black boots, grabbed his coat and headed out the door.

Reaching the parking garage, Jay fished his car keys out of his coat pocket and started his Jeep - a gift to himself when he graduated college. It was his splurge when he knew he was going to start at the ad agency. He backed out of his parking space and headed to work. Traffic seemed light and his hour commute breezed by - before he knew it he was there. The first one to arrive, Jay used his key to open the office. He had started at Keller Kreative right out of college 3 years ago. The creative director, Andy Keller, saw the talent the young man possessed and snapped him up at 21. Jay tried to never let him down.

He started two pots of coffee knowing the rest of the group would be trickling in shortly. Little by little everyone came in, all grateful for a shot of warm caffeinated adrenaline already brewed. Jay settled into his corner of the office. As lead designer he oversaw the projects coming through the doors for Andy and the rest of the account executives. He looked over the specifics of each job and decided what he should handle - or those Andy assigned him - and which to funnel through the other 2 artists. Each person in Jay's group had their own strengths to offer and he played off those. Today would be crazy, so he downed his coffee and dove in.

-

Not long after starting Jay was interrupted by Mary, the office manager, an older, gray haired woman who always seemed to be going full speed. Jay often jokingly wished he could have hit of whatever she was on. In her late 50s, she had been with the agency ever since its infancy. She was the office Mom some needed, and the pain in the ass others could do without.

"Jason" she almost sang happily, "we have a new assistant starting today and I'd like for you to make him feel welcome. You know, show him around, get him acquainted with what goes on. Help him fit in".

Jason, he thought. Almost nobody calls him that anymore except old friends, his parents - and of course her. He hated that name and ditched it during college. The name had lost its happiness for him - it had become tarnished and tainted. He thought it was just a label now, damaged and ruined. He needed to reinvent himself - so he created Jay.

Before he'd had a chance to protest, she turned and scurried off - like a mouse who had just grabbed a delicious little morsel hurrying it back to her hiding place. Great, he thought, just great. He was swamped and now saddled with a newbie to babysit for the day. A newbie that wouldn't even be in his group. Sales assistants worked handling paperwork, scheduling, and phone calls. Jay never held that job, so he was more than perplexed as to why he was guiding him rather than someone he'd work with.

He headed over to Mary, and before he could open his mouth to speak, she said "because you're basically the same age and he reminds me of you. I'm sure you two will find things in common and maybe hit it off".

She never even looked up from the papers on her desk.

When she finished speaking, she briefly looked over her glasses at him and stared - as if to say that'll be all and sent him to his room without dinner. Jay resigned himself to the inevitability of having a companion today.

-

Slightly before 10 a young man walked in, briefly stopping to talk with the receptionist by the front door. She briskly walked him to Andy's office and gave the open door a few light raps - just enough sound to alert Andy that someone was there. Andy stood, walked around his desk to the younger man, shook his hand and offered him a seat across from him. While the room was open concept - every group had their own sections - Andy was the only one with a conventional office. Jay assumed this would be his shadow for the day. He pushed on with his work knowing he'd be interrupted shortly.

After a few minutes, Mary again scurried from her chair over to Andy's office directing the young man to sit with her. Good, Jay thought, let's get a look at him. Tall, great body, nice build, large mop of light blonde curly hair and a adorable boyish face.

Jay whispered to Brenda, one of the other artists, "that can't be the new hire, he looks like he's in high school... 18 years old tops".

Brenda replied in a low, seductive tone "yeah, but isn't he hot! Give us some time alone and I'll make him a man".

They both laughed at the thought - Brenda was happily married and had a good 20 years on the blonde. The two of them blatantly stared at the new guy, sizing him up. A voice crept up behind them disrupting their gaze and snapping them back to reality. "Now, now" he laughingly broke through" let's not scare him away already. Let him at least get to his desk before you molest him"

They both turned around quickly to face Ian, the third of their little group. He stood there with a wide grin on his face wagging his finger at them mockingly saying "tisk, tisk, bad artists. Brenda you should be ashamed, and Jay, well, we know you're a pig".

Ian walked away still chuckling to himself.

Jay's dick didn't care about the blonde's boyishness, it stirred and he began getting hard. Maybe a day of hanging with the new guy wouldn't be so bad.

-

Much of the morning passed without any glimpse of the blonde. Jay assumed Mary had him busy with all the pain and paperwork in becoming a new employee. It was a busy day with multiple projects on deadline and new requests coming in rapidly. Brenda, Ian and

Jay worked non-stop all morning just trying to keep their heads above water.

Finally, around Noon, Jay leaned back in his chair and threw his hands up in frustration. "Dammit! I'm finding it almost impossible to be creative at this pace. I can't just pull greatness out of my ass."

Brenda & Ian chuckled, groaning in agreement, egging him on.

As if on cue Mary and the blonde came around the corner. "Really Mr Wyatt?" she chimed in "that would explain why I find some of your ideas so shitty."

The group burst into laughter, astonished that a woman as all-business and pragmatic as her can throw down shade that easily. Even the blonde cracked a smile. Mary continued "Jason, if you don't have any specific plans for lunch, would you mind taking Mr. Quinn along and show him around town?"

Jay could sense the blonde wanting the floor to open up and swallow him - turning bright red with embarrassment. It was like having your Mommy pawning you off to a sibling, forcing them to play with you.

"It's OK" the blonde jumped in "I'm sure I can find something on my own. I don't want to be a tag along if you have plans."

Feeling sorry for him because Mary put him in that position, not to mention wanting to know more about Mr Quinn, Jay said "Not a problem, we really hadn't planned anything at all."

The blonde's face softened a little as he felt less embarrassed. Brenda begged out because she was meeting her husband for lunch, so Ian suggested a great Italian place not that far.

-

Everybody on board, the three took a short walk up town, braving the cold and blustery weather, pushing through the lunchtime crowd to The Crust. Stepping inside the trio was accosted by the aromas of fresh garlic bread baking and rich pasta sauce simmering on the stove. It was magic for the senses. The three slid into a booth with Ian on one side and the blonde and Jay on the other, pushed close together at the tiny table. Once again Jay felt that familiar twinge in his pants - feeling like he was getting hot for a guy he knew nothing about.

They quickly placed their orders and immediately got down to the business of learning more about each other.

"Well", the blonde stammered, I'm Paul Quinn, moved here from Gainesville after I graduated from University of Florida, played a little football while I was there, and, ummm... and I'm originally from Kentucky."

His introduction was short but sweet, impromptu but rehearsed. Ian offered himself up next, beginning to give Paul some information on himself. All the while Jay felt his mind wandering. He was zoning out on Ian and thinking about Paul. Hot, blonde Paul. Sweaty and naked in the locker room after a football game. Shit! Jay started fantasizing about what was under the bulky brown sweater and khakis Paul was wearing. Shit! Shit! Jay was panicking because that little twinge was now a fully hard erection.. He could feel the pre cum leaking out and pooling against his thigh. No matter how hard he tried to change the channel in his mind, every station was playing Paul.

Jay's daydreaming shattered abruptly when in his haze he heard Ian mockingly "Jay? Jason! Earth to Jason".

That did the trick. Jay replied, slightly annoyed, "dammit Ian, stop that." Ian loved that he could annoy Jay so quickly. Snapped back reality, Jay offered up some info on himself as well. Despite having no idea what Ian just said, he proceeded "I've been at Keller's 3 years, I started here right out of college, I lead the design team which means I'm Ian's boss" He shot Ian a playful look with a hint of annoyance. Jay continued "So Paul, if you don't mind me asking, how'd you go from Kentucky, to Florida to Pennsylvania? Seems like a lot of big steps bringing you here."

The blonde pondered, putting together his thoughts before he answered. 'Well, I grew up in Kentucky with a bit of a rocky home life. Knew I wanted to go to college as far away from there as possible. Florida had a great marketing and communications program - plus the weather didn't hurt. I figured I could get some sun, live in a swim suit, and get a degree in one place... and boom, Florida." He paused briefly and continued "I went to a job fair looking for something interesting - a place, a company, a job - something. I found this firm that specialized in promoting sports teams, and since I played for the Gators, I was intrigued. I had a meeting with their Marketing department but didn't get the job. The guy who interviewed me said that while I fit the bill, I needed more experience. He knew Andy Keller personally and explained that if anyone could help round out my resume it was him. I had a Zoom interview with Andy, he said that if I was interested, I could start right away." Paul paused to take a breath because he felt like was rambling. "So, I packed up my PT Cruiser with what little I had and headed North".

Ian was interested, but Jay found his mind wondering again. Paul in a swimsuit started his cock tingling again, a wet spot forming in the front of his jeans. He found he had to shift his weight to adjust the straining bulge in his pants. He was hard and horny. Stop it, he told himself. This guy has to be straight - he played football for shit's sake - so knock it off. Learning he came from Florida though explained the golden tan and luminescent glow.

The three guys polished off their lunches, put on their coats, and headed back the few blocks through the chilly wind..

-

Back at the office Jay spent some time with Paul, explaining exactly how the Design department interacts with the others. He was trying not to appear obvious, but he really just wanted to reach out and touch him.

Soon the receptionist Paul met in the morning whisked him away to work with his own team. Jay thought to himself "Gee, other than a little daydreaming, that was hardly worth the time. I thought I had him all day." Fuck, he wished he had him all day - all to himself. Jay felt himself staring again and quickly looked away. He sat squirming in his chair trying to find a way to force his dick down, or at least hide it. Nope, that wasn't going cut it.

Jay slipped away to the men's room, went into an empty stall and locked the door. He had to release the cum building in his swollen balls. He dropped his jeans - the front moist from his 8" dick dripping against them. He gripped his hard shaft and slapped it against his hand a few times - he was rock hard. Jay spit into his hand and jerked his dick slowly, using long drawn out strokes. He ran his index finger over the slick, shiny stream of pre cum leaking from his engorged cock, putting the finger in his mouth. Jay licked it clean as he savored his juice. He was so turned on thinking about Paul that his dick just kept flowing - creating its own lube.

Jay slid his hand underneath his shirt, across his chest hair, playfully pinching his nipples. With each pinch his dick jerked, almost like the two were connected. Damn, he needed to cum. Jay picked up the pace of his strokes, closing his eyes and letting his mind fill with visions of Paul. He alternated massaging his balls and palming the tip of his cock. A few more strokes was all it took for him to explode multiple streams of thick gooey jizz on the stall door, floor and in his palm. He eagerly put his hand to his mouth and lapped up the prize, making sure not to lose a precious drop. Jay whispered out loud "Damn Paul, that tasted good."

Jay was immediately filled with guilt - he was repeating a behavior he knew was unhealthy. He reminded himself of the consequences from giving in to your fantasies without considering the repercussions.

-

After he redressed and composed himself Jay returned to his desk. Ian and Brenda were feverishly trying to finish the last of a few projects, readying them for return to the account reps. One more thing off their desks until the next assignments came tomorrow. Jay straightened up his desk - he hated coming in the next morning from yesterday's chaos. He scanned the room for Paul but it appeared he left for the day. As Jay headed for the door, he was stopped by Andy and motioned into his office. Andy directed Jay to have a seat. He wanted to know how the day went, how was Paul and what were his thoughts on him.

Oh, Jay had thoughts - just not ones he could share with Andy.

"He's a very bright and eager young man" Jay started.

Andy put his hand up as if to stop Jay from speaking and chuckled "young man? Jay, he's basically your age. You're 24, he's 22, don't make it sound like you're that old." That was punctuated by a hardy laugh. Andy himself wasn't that old either - a slightly overweight man in his 40s greying gracefully - looking nothing like his age. Andy continued "I had Paul finish out his day talking to me about you. I asked how he thought the morning and his training went - what he thought of you. Son, he had nothing but rave reviews. You covered everything he needed to know about the agency, you made him feel at home, and you joked around with him and the team." That elicited a big smile from Andy. "So, with that in mind, how would you feel about taking on a little more responsibility?"

"Alriiiight" Jay said, slowly drawing out the word for emphasis "what do you need?"

"I'm not sure yet", Andy continued. "but I know I'll be impressed.

Andy had hired Jay fresh out of college after seeing some intern work he did for another agency. Work, in fact, that stole a prestigious client away from Andy and landed them at the firm Jay was working at. Then and there Andy knew he had to have Jay on his staff. The younger man vowed to always do his best for his mentor - and now he'd be put to the test.

There was no denying Jay's interest was piqued.

He had been playing a game of cat and mouse all day, in his mind, with someone he knew almost nothing about. However, which was Jay? Was he predator or the prey? Before he got in too deep - before he made the same mistakes - he needed to learn more about the mighty Mr. Quinn.

-

The bad weather that had been predicted earlier in the week was going to be arriving shortly. Snow usually prompted an uptick in work pace at the agency. Projects need to be completed for deadlines to be met. Three days into his new job, Paul was settling in nicely - joining Jay and Ian on their daily lunches - and quickly picking up on every new task tossed his way. As each day passed, Paul learned more about his coworkers. The trio exchanged stories, Jay and Ian reliving clients and projects past and Paul sharing highlights of his college football glory. The more the guys talked, the more they felt as if they've known each other for years instead of days.

"So", asked Paul, "how long have you guys known each other?" Ian looked at Jay with a look of uncertainty. "Well", Jay began, Ian and I went to college together. We met in a Psychology class." Ian chimed in "I was pretty sure he was a psychopath." While that elicited a laugh from Jay, even the blonde could tell there was more. "A couple of us shared a house off campus" Ian said hesitantly. "We had never even met each other, none of us had" said Jay. "There were four of us" Jay continued "but thankfully Ian and I clicked right away - fast friends."

The guys continued talking until lunch was over.

Walking back to the office you could smell it in the air - that frosty, crisp scent that told you snow was coming. Paul let out a visible, deep shiver. The blonde had only been living in Philly for less than a month, and even with a coat and wool hat, he was cold. "What was I thinking?" Paul asked jokingly, waving his hands around gesturing at everything "I chose to leave Florida to freeze my ass off." The guys laughed, their warm breath turning to a cold mist as it left their lips "I should be drinking a margarita at the beach."