All Comments on 'If You Can't Beat Them'

I hope he had been planning for a divorce all those years. The aftermath would have been a good addition to the story.

Touché. Well done.

Enough said. Very good, thank you.

Well done.

An ending worth of O. Henry. Or Sam Peckinpah, even! A Literotica Top-50 story. Damn near perfect. 5++++/5!!

Given the circumstances, I hope Erin and he were fucking all year long and took the long weekend as a lovers holiday.

A very good first effort at the dialogue approach. I appreciated that it was not drawn out, but felt a little empty at the climax. Likely the missing connection to his golf buddy. I look gorward to tour next effort.

It was nice to see the heartbroken wife lose both her lover and her husband, but why tolerate her cheating for ten years? It's never explained why he didn't just divorce her immediately.

Great short story. 5*

Only fitting. D

Good one for a short story, Thanks for writing it. Keep writing

Good job. I liked it

This lived up to the expectation from someone with 40 followers per story. I added my own.

I love it a plan comes together. They only cared about themselves but are surprised when it happens to them.

Boring

He knew immediately, but waited for 10 years. That's just stupid.

The story is missing many elements:

1. reason for staying with an unfaithful wife

2. wife's emotions and reasons are not well described. Hoped for guilt, regret, loss. Not only shock.

3. explaining how she got caught now is a terrible idea. Better let that info be revealed in the divorce court.

4. reason for the divorce after enduring the affair for 10 years.

5. Wife's feelings about the divorce

Rather good actually, a little cold if anything but it works.

OK but story did not address why the two couples remained married. Kids maybe? Also unclear how you could have two people who love one another and lice in same community ignore each other except during trips. So, decent story and worth reading, but I just was left with questions.

Good job.

I'm sure you'll get plenty of people screaming about him being a cuck for 10 years... the other side is he was holding his family together at least until their kid was at college, oh and getting some of his own at the same time.

Well written and paced. Your dialogue was

Spot on!! Thanks for sharing 5&FAV

Good little short story.

I liked it. I thought the story proceeded logically and the characters were plausible. It seemed to be fairly realistic.

IMO, you pulled off what you said you weren't sure about. It is a good story and an easy read. Good job!

So why was one affair cheating and the other ok? Why was one right and one wrong? Doesn't really make a lot of sense.

A pile of shit. 4 adulterers and the only problem ge had was her fit at the funeral.

I call bullshit.

Like it.

I liked it. Believable.

Oh yeah….you managed your challenge quite well indeed! Do it again, please!

.

5 *****

Somehow this dialogue heavy short story is better than 90% of the stories on this site.

I'd say you did a hell of a job for your first try at this kind of story.

A nice short one.

Short story. Loved the premise and the result had Me chuckling.

Short and to the point, well done!

Short and to the point. I always wonder at the aftermath for the cheating wives.

Kudos and keep writing.

Very good but would like to hear about the aftermath.

Not bad.

I'm sure English and literary experts find faults,

but this amateur thinks you did a good job.

A pity, as with most 'conversation' stories,

that it's just a flash story.

4 out of 5 from me.

It's funny how cheaters either think that everyone is cheating, or can't imagine that they'd be cheated on.

Very well done, and yes this short story held my attention as I was rewarded with an appropriate ending.

I like the conversation. Felt the plot was incomplete, although the ending did wrap up one possible thread. I felt like there could have been a little more depth of the story line....maybe she went with husband and Erin and he got to share both....why not since all the participants were just out for sex. However, your conclusion was the more "normal" ending.

No fuss, no muss. Smooth as silk way to hand his cheating wife her a$$! -- 5☆

Good short story. 4/5

One star.

How can a man stand to have sex with his wife after she gave herself to another?!? It would be like sticking your dick in a boil full of infected pus!

10 years of acting as a normal husband to the zombie version of what once his wife? No way! No man could do it! His disgust, contempt, and rage would leak out and be noticed.

Real people don’t think, speak, or act like that.

ZK

4 stars - I actually liked this story, but it was pretty laid back, unemotional and almost pathetically simple. Thankfully, it did not somehow morph into a ridiculous RAAC.

I, like most of the readers on this website, prefer a lot of angst, drama, emotional turmoil, INTELLIGENT believable characters, convoluted plots with twists, plus maybe some screaming anger and finally PAYBACK with a capital 'P'. So far, I have found less than 10% of the authors on this website are able to meet my meager requirements for a good LW story.

Hell, if he was smart he’d keep both women. Double the pussy.

“Doublepussy” wasn’t that 26thNC’s nickname in high school?

A good story, partially believable that it occurred over 10 years before the trigger was pulled. Definitely needs a part 2 to enjoy the payback and final explanation of Chelsea as well as her fate.

I think you succeeded with me.

Nice story, IABH.

Thanks.

Good story, easy to read and to the point. Well done

I'm not sure what the point of this story is, is there moral, a lesson to be learned or some sort of warning? It seems to me we have four people, very unlikeable people, who don't give a fuck about their marriages or the people they are supposed to care about.

It doesn't matter who started it, or who finished it, my lasting feeling is I don't give a damn about any of them. I think that's probably the worst reaction to a story you can get.

Touché.

Story about nothing... No really emotions, just old cheaters who are not really sorry about what they done

3 starrs

Obviously no moral outrage in this story, as they were all four cheating for years. It was kind a cheap shot of Joe to call Alan a piece of shit when he was in exactly the same position, having fallen in love with Erin. Very hard to feel any empathy for any of the characters, so the story just does not resonate at any frequency! We are supposed to feel that Chelsea got what was coming to her? Joe and Erin deserved the same outcome! Few points here.

Two sets of lovers have an affair twice a year and claim that they have fallen in love? I don't care if the relationship has gone for over 10 years. Absurd. Especially as they are supposedly best friends and near each other. Yet they never meet except twice a year. Silly premise

pay backs are hell!

Good man, go comfort that poor widow

So, they're all cheaters. Otherwise known as degenerate pieces of shit. Nothing to lose here, because they didn't have anything to begin with.

Yeahhhp, that is it. I liked it. Cheers

Captcha

Good story... Wish there was more of the aftermath.

Surprise!!!

If it wasn't lacking any real emotion it would have been exponentially better. Granted he loved someone else and she did as well but there wasnt much "there" there. From either of them.

Karnevil—it’s a story!! It doesn’t need a point! I enjoyed it quite well

Clever!

5

Short and sweet. 4 Stars.

I think you succeeded in your effort. Thanks.

Direct and to the point. Great slice of life.

Why wait for 10 years? The writing is just OK, the dialogue is too stilted, the husband is a little too calm and the wife throwing herself on the lover's coffin and pounding her fists on it while crying, "Why God, why?" is jumping the shark in all its ignominy. Sorry but this only gets a 3*** and that is probably overly generous.

It's a great story. 5* I don't know what @karnevil is talking about. It happens every freaking day. It's probably happening 25-50 times somewhere on the planet, while I'm typing this comment! He's right in that, writing about it leaves the author limited options unless someone is a Navy Seal, or works for a secret evil organization. Still, i liked the approach and the layout. Nice work!

Loved it. Perfect.

Short, which is good. Sad, which is not.

Excellent! All four got what they wanted and needed until one died, but that didn't upset the equilibrium the surviving couple had achieved and treasured.

Nice story, but not sure of the why? I'd like a sequel to relay that...5 Stars! Who, What, When, Where, WHY.

Quick and to the point. A good short tale.

I don't understand why not immediately divorce? I don't have the patience, time or energy to be doing all that. I would've been seeking a divorce immediately.. it doesn't matter she was only cheating once or twice a year. CHEATING IS CHEATING.. there's no in between. The fact that it only stopped because her lover was killed is just more proof he should've divorced her a decade ago when her affair started. I'm not that good of an actress to be able to put up with a deceitful cheating lying slut for years, pretending everything is OK.. fuck NOOO. Why was her showing her complete ass the catalyst of a divorce? Why wasn't the cheating, disrespect, the lying and the treachery enough? I guess as long as she fuck'd her boyfriend out of town it was ok. but once she lost her shyt over her lovers casket at his funeral.. he had enough embarrassment 🤣🤣🤣🤣...just ridiculous.. I wouldn't of even went to the turds funeral unless it was to spit or piss on his body.. I legit don't have that energy in me. I'm a very straightforward person with little to no patience. There's no way I would've been able to stand being around her for years as she cheats, lie, decieve and betraya me.. no ma'am. The slut would've had to go🤭

I wonder why no divorce 10 years earlier. Would have been great to have him explain how it was almost a game for them all or something and now that one is gone it is game over. It is implied but hearing him explain it all to her in a different manner would be key like how maybe he moved the funds etc so she is broke and he has Erin and the life insurance money and everything else.

That was slick! Probably the best single page version of this trope I’ve ever read. 5*

Wow!!! A major gotcha.

Absolutely LOVED this

10 years is a long time to put up with something like that. Funeral would have done it for me. I'd of just left her there.

short and sweet

Very good, but why wait ten years? So now that the asshole is dead, time to move on.

Short and to the point. Very well told story. 5*!

Is it you sow what you reap or reap what you sow.

Everyone, EVERYONE, got what they deserved. Can't ask for more than that in life, can you? At least Erin doesn't have to split up her shit with an asshole. Chelsea will go for his throat, having no love or respect for him and being angry what it was her lover instead of her husband who got killed. But she will be OK. She is attractive, will have some money, has no morals or ethics, and likes to fuck. She'll be just fine, until she enters the cheese phase. I can already smell her pain. Thanks for the effort.

Regguy, it seems that he's inferring that he was going to just continue on but she made it clear at the funeral that she loved the guy. So I guess that was a deal breaker to the status quo

I guess her love for him was the final nail in the coffin lol

Fantastic!!!

Good story. Well done. 5*~~JB

5* Very nicely done. Tightly plotted and focussed with no need for any more words; I've got the whole story from what you have written. The way Chelsea acted at the funeral was a neat little detail too . . . Thank you.

A very good short story. It convais all the necessary feelings and details. I don't understand why they waited so long with their spouses disrespect.

Yeah! Nicely done. Dumb cheating spouse can't understand why her husband would cheat on her while she was cheating on him. This is real life people. People are real dumb and don't have a clue, I didn't. When I was in the Army back in the 60s I new a few guys that were married that I was stationed with had wives back home. This guys were hound dogs screwing any willing broad they could find and European girls are easy. Then once in awhile one of the married guys would get letter from a friend back home telling the guy his wife was stepping out on him. Well guess what? He got all pissed off an self-righteous that his wife was cheating on him! Amazing huh? It's ok for him to screw around but not his wife? True story, I was there.

Nice story. Like it. AAAA++++

Much too close t my reality

One would think that before 10 yeas, one of the four cheaters would tire of hiding behind twice yearly trips, and push for divorce.

They would both have had to go through asset division. Now that Alan is dead, even if Joe has to give up half of his and Chelsea's marital assets, he and Erin will have what would have been Alan's share of their assets.

Good read. Nice conclusion.

Ed

Good conclusion just 9 years late. These once or twice a year affairs don’t ring true to me. Nothing in the story explained what kept the desire going in between the trips to Chicago or what the wife and her lover did in between trips. The whole story was pointed at the surprise ending that hubby fell I love with the other wife. Yawn

Nice and quick, and clever ending.

The wife's reaction at the funeral is priceless.

Interesting story. Just not sure why the MC and Erin didn't divorce them much sooner.

It would have been very easy to get rid of them. They were going to a violent city, together, and their spouses knew where and when. If you can’t dispose of cheaters with lead time to plan, location of the targets, and lots of criminals to pin the blame on, well then you’re just choosing to be a cuck!

ZK

Hilarious!

Harsh. Chelsea loses husband and lover in the same year.