Iggy 03

Iggy 03

"Josh, OMG, Josh, pay attention! Again, reviewing the photo, this is Padma's hair and you have to say something nice about it and these, well, these are where her lips are and moving down, these are where her boobs are located and if you don't die from all that, then a little further down is her banana split boat, so do you have all that Josh?"

"Aww, baby, I got this, right, Iggy? And can we have the love seat? And are you sure about what you're wearing and all?"

"Well, the popular opinion on Chang is that it's my house, so it's my stupid and risky rules, so. And you're looking at me for longer than I expected, Josh, so."

"Oh, um, well, damn it, Iggy, this all gets a little confusing sometimes. And I just wanted to verify what Janet said, which are her words, not mine, but it's not a deal breaker and it's a cute bulge, but, um, her words, not mine, so?"

"LOL, relax, Josh and prep yourself while I take these texts."

[Whoop]

"Can I crash your private banana split party?"

[Weep]

"Sure Marci, but bring extra bag of sprinkles."

[Whoop]

"And my boyfriend?"

[Whoop]

"Danny is crying for me."

[Whoop]

"To eat a banana."

[Whoop]

"On a date."

Well, how does one say "no" to a party crash invite request like that then, huh folks?

[Weep]

"Bring extra whip cream, Marci."

Oh, and folks, I didn't do it! LOL, but Padma's taller boot heels certainly did do it! But that's off track. But ooh la, la, heels work!

"Iggy, it was nice of you to turn this private party into a two-crew banana split blow out party, especially since I've settled in my mind that being with Josh a little is totally legit, so?"

"Well, people follow your posts, Padma, so, well, sobeit. And the nerd girl that you are eyeing up is just our old nerd friend, Janet. She's kind of coming into her own and a few of the crew guys might find her interesting, so?"

"So, Iggy, you approved of her wearing your trade mark tail feathers then, hmm?"

"I did, but the little plastic baggies full of sprinkles are her idea. Like I said, Janet is coming into her own these days, so."

"Well, she's not dipping my Josh's big dipper in one of her little baggies for the fun and taste of it all, but maybe I'll snatch a baggie or two from her later then. It's starting to sound tasty in my head now, so? And it was nice of you to color match her yellow nylon tie strap tail feathers with her big yellow rubber kitchen gloves, Iggy, you're a thoughtful fem boy and when I cheat on Josh, well, I might make you a cup of morning coffee one of these days, so."

"Padma, I'm your new charge for my new Fruit Market crew, so all I know is the kitchen work of peeling the bananas and slicing the bananas and scooping the ice cream balls and squirting the whip cream, so?"

"Well, snap, I forgot all about the whip cream, Iggy, so cool. And I swear, I researched it and holding a stupid Flesh Light between your butt cheeks just won't work with Boomer's vigor, so tighten up and run or let tonight be the night then, so? Also, Iggy, I may have it let it slip to Boomer about your plan to tie strap a Flesh Light between your butt cheeks and your thigh gap so he could after it that way and I think he got pissed about, so I don't think Boomer is coming today. Literally."

"Oh, I know that, Padma and he was so pissed that he flew over here last night and demanded an explanation and a demo and once he tricked me into just my undies, well, the was a lot of wrestling and fighting back and aiming with the Flesh Light and a lot of poking around and a lot of thrusting around from his side and then, well, he texted me from my driveway just afterwards with the "dumped" text and I cleaned things up, so? Also, ewe, gooey."

"Well, Iggy, maybe it's just as well for you. It's your fancy boy butt and you can keep things intact for as long as you like and ooh, there's Josh then, so."

I mean, it felt like some words of wisdom were coming from Padma, but then she spotted her Josh, so that was that. But that was some walk away in those higher heel boots! But again, that's off track. But high heels really work!

Also, huh, a wrestling match with a Flesh Light can end up in a holding position. Not a tie strapped to the backside holding position, but huh, one can sit under one who replicates push ups and huh, hold it, so. But that's way, way off track. And not as freaky as one would think. But he still text dumped me anyways. Until next time. But all of that is off track.

And SOB! Janet must have come into her own a year ago and didn't tell anyone! Her "dick sprinkles dipping" skills did not develop yesterday! Although it started to make sense why she asked me to put extra towels in my bedroom as soon as she came over, I guess. Not that I peeked at that or anything. And it wasn't "ewe" or anything, not that I studied the situation or anything. But that's off track.

"Dude, Iggy, dude, Iggy, dude, Iggy, OMG, I'm, I'm, dude, Iggy, dude, Iggy!"

"LOL, work the lungs, Josh, there you go, in and then out, in and then exhale, there you go, Josh."

"Iggy, dude, Iggy, this is happening then!"

"Well, nothing is happening while you're with me the kitchen wheezing and screaming, Josh, so?"

"Damn, Iggy, dude, Iggy, Iggy, damn, be Iggy all the time now, dude!"

[Swoosh, swish, bliss, swoosh]

"Iggy, did you flash your plastic tail feathers at old man Arthur from the Fruit Market to obtain all this banana split stuff for free then, hmm?"

"Oh, hey, Matt, and yes, but I had the support of his wife, Beatrice and she wants me to work the closing shift on Monday's now, so?"

"Hmm, that's interesting, so?"

"Matt, did you want me to make you a banana split boat special then? Not that any of them look any different, so?"

"Iggy, can we snuggle up, crisscross arms and fill each other's mouth with whip cream right now?"

Like that position is a book somewhere!

[Squirt, squirt, giggle, squirt, squirt, giggle, squirt, squirt, lick lips]

"Yum."

"Yum, yum, Matt."

"Iggy?"

"Matt?"

I guess that was code for "I'm waiting for sex" or something, I guess. And I only allowed him to lead out of the kitchen and down the hall to my bedroom so I could dig out the code book from my bookshelf, so.

{Grr, vroom, grr, vroom, grr, vroom, grr, vroom, vacuum switched off]

"Oops, sorry, Iggy and hey, Matty Poo, I was just cleaning up."

"Janet! You're vacuuming my bedroom from pieces of blow job sprinkles in just your undies and your sweater then? And your alluring yellow kitchen gloves?"

"Oh, are either of you two boys complaining then?"

[Eyes gaze back and forth at each other, nope!]

"I grew up, Iggy! And guys like what I have, Iggy. And these yellow gloves, so."

[Eyes gaze back and forth at each other, yep!]

"Well, Matt and I are just in here to verify a code or two, so?"

[Bulge poke, bulge poke, not on Iggy's little bulge either]

"Dot, dot, dash, dash, kiss it, Iggy or give up that ass."

So, listen folks, my old friend Janet must have been abducted and replaced with a replica. I mean, sure, the replica knew code and all, but still, right?

Also, huh, the replica knew how to slip exercise shorts down quickly too! Which maybe the replica world needed to learn more about guys who wear thongs.

"Damn, I knew it all these years, Iggy, those are nice, right, Matty Poo?"

[One squeeze right and one squeeze left]

"Janet!"

"Hey, I'm out, Iggy and I always knew the other thing about you all these years too, so, I'm out."

Which apparently, was code for that she would get things started first, but she seemed to know a few things about being on the knees positioning and that back and forth and side to side motion stuff like she was using a game controller, so, so, Janet's the freak and not me!

And not only did Janet grow up, she became fed up with me and body checked me out of the way and made for another reason to re-vacuum my bedroom floor with her sprinkle dipping baggie! In her yellow kitchen gloves, which were so mesmerizing that I actually exited my bedroom while still pulling up my exercise shorts and LOL, received a round of applause, LOL, for nothing!

Or it was for how I didn't quite pull my exercise shorts all the way back up. Or best banana split boat party ever for short!

End Iggy 03