All Comments on 'I'm a Slave Now?'

I enjoyed the kink while it isn't my favorite...

It's just that the people are so cold. I don't have the impression that these people care about the wellbeing of the protagonist. She is clearly way over her head and nobody seems to care to prevent her from breaking which isn't even logical. If there are less slaves this year they can hardly afford losing one to psychological braking.

I would enjoy this story way more if you would mention somebody discreetly checking on her from time to time making sure she is safe. I like noncon... but please some sound noncon where everybody stays at one piece.

I do like the story concept, that kink just doesn’t do anything for me at all but the most important part is the submission. I actively despise humiliation too but that’s because of abysmally low self esteem.

You noted the vast reduction in slave numbers so yeah I would expect them to take better care of not just physical well-being but emotional well-being too it’s as much if not more important because she’s a neophyte. Frankly the other thing that's really bothering me is that surely the slave is allowed safe words? If not then I definitely won’t be reading more, but I’m getting ahead of myself 🙄

Thanks for sharing

Tess (UK)

This is in the Non-consent category and yet that whole chapter went by and what started as voluntary Erotic Couplings material is ambiguously continuing without knowing a reason and establishing what and why what is happening to her is happening.

You have to clearly define the situation in terms of voluntary or involuntary, which I did point seems to have been timidly hinted and what her captors intend. It would be assumed the latter is true but we got a very long winded, whining, unending first person narration.

You should switch to third person narration to avoid this tiring repetitive story telling from the heroine. You can also let the reader in on what is around her and what the other characters are thinking and give the story depth. Keep writing! I am interested and the material is alluring , for sure.

I think you are a good writer. I will be waiting for new chapters as I think this baby has potential. I know some people have mentioned they feel the people at the convention don’t care about her. I can see you tried to show the humanity behind the woman at the desk, calling her a big tittied whore ( loved it), but it might shine through more if you added more detail about desk lady’s facial expressions . Describe better “that smile” what is it about the smile that makes you believe she cares . Or elaborate more when she tells protagonist that the crowd is cheering her on for being a brave strong bitch.

The other example that you could add detail to, in order to paint a more descriptive picture of the two security guards, who are both her owner for the time being. So I think she needs to know how to refer to them. With a little more detail, you can paint a more engaging picture of when she gets bred by her two bulls. This seems like a good jumping off point for what I predict a long night of debauchery for our main character.

This paragraph didn’t live up to its potential but I think a little more detail in the other characters and within the act itself, you could have a neat little cliffhanger for the chapter end.

“The other one enters me now. I know it's the other one because his cock feels different. He's smaller than the other one, only...he's rough as he begins. The other thrusted fast as possible, like he wanted to get off as soon as possible. But this one, he's slamming into me”.

The other one and the other one. This is a good example of where it works to have more details about the two guards/owners. Not only so we as the reader can put a name to a face or body, but also to eliminate the risk of being too repetitive.

I don’t claim to be any kind of writer, But I read this story and thought it has a great premise , I hope my 2 cents has been helpful and well received . I’m gonna go and read more of your stuff. I like the pace. “A writer writes, always!”

Can't wait for what happens next to Mia at the convention and over the next six months until her contract runs out. Will she be the same or will she be a slave forever. Will she meet anyone one from the office ?

Very Hot! Looking forward to continuing. No constructive criticism thus far. Excellent stroke piece.

The title piqued my interest and after I read the 1st few paragraphs I was hooked. Cannot explain it, but ................... I wish I was the main character in the story.

Really enjoyable and hot as hell.

Might be a careful what you wish for...or might be a scared at first, then ultimate sexual fulfillment for a girl kinkier than she ever thought she could be.

Let the fun continue 😈

I love it, is a big fantasy of mine, to be a huscow, milked, being treated like a animal

I love this!!!!! Where can i sign up ;-)

I love this😍 Wish I was her

I love the situation, and I'm looking forward to the next installment. But I don't much get off on the hucow thing.

Nicely done, thanks for sharing.

She should have got her first hormone injection to induce lactation. Even if latter we find out it was just saline and a good mind fuck.

I just read Part 1 and loved it. Starting To 2 asap