I'm Big

I asked Todger65 to edit this for me and he did it. I don't know if that means he's a wonderful guy or has no taste, but I thank him regardless.

I'm Big, So what?

The trials and tribulations of having a big cock

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Are you ready for some reality? I certainly hope so because you are about to get some. The fact that you are reading this tells me that you like erotic stories. That's pretty cool because I like them too, quite a lot actually. I've written more than a few myself and some folks seem to like them. I enjoy the writing and the feedback I get, but not as much as I enjoy exploring fantasy. Many of my stories are just that and nothing I would do in real life.

The fact is my mom never once did anything that made my cock even twitch. Same for my sister and all but a couple of my cousins. I did try to seduce one cousin, but she wasn't having it. That's the sum total of my incest-related life.

As much as I fantasize about my wife getting joyfully serviced by a hot stud, or studs, I would never want that to happen in real life. Nor do I really want to wife swap, share, loan, rent, or lease. My harem hasn't materialized so far and I don't bother to hope that it ever will.

As far as I know, and I'm 99.999% sure I know, my wife has never cheated on me. She's never come home with some elaborate reason why it's important that she have sex with someone else. She's also never suggested in any way, shape, or form, that I have sex with anyone but her. I'm 100% positive about that one. Trust me, I'd remember.

That doesn't mean we haven't enjoyed each other immensely over the years. We most certainly have and without sharing the details I have to say it has been wonderful. Sure, there have been a few women that made me look and even wonder. I always walked away before anything so much as a kiss happened.

You see my problem is that I can't pretend there would ever be a reason she would approve of such a thing. As a matter of fact, I am sure that it would hurt her deeply if I ever screwed around on her. I can't imagine ever hurting her on purpose and surely not in such a cruel way.

So, I'm a perfectly mundane and average guy. Right? According to the erotic stories I read, and write, I'm not a mundane or average guy at all. I wasn't blessed with the tall, dark, and handsome gene. Mine was more the short, broad-shouldered, blue-eyed, and average gene. There is one exception. I have a big cock. Not super big, but a very respectable eight and a half very fat inches as measured from where the root meets my belly to the tip of my hard cock. None of that measuring from the balls out and adding taint inches.

I didn't know I had a big cock for quite a while. It's not like guys walked around the locker room with erections. Any locker room I spent time in, would have allowed that guy in twice at one time, the first and the last. In the real world, very few women go around exclaiming that their lover has a huge cock. Although when my wife and I first got together she told her cousin about me, then cringed every time we had dinner with her thereafter. She hadn't imagined we would end up together long-term.

Younger women are often too shy to say anything about a guy's cock, primarily because guys are so damn sensitive about their manhood. Hell, we even call it manhood as if what we are is defined by an instrument for reproduction. It's pretty ridiculous when you think about it, but I don't see attitudes changing anytime soon.

I was fortunate at a young age to have a lover that saw some potential in me and was open and kind enough to teach me how to please her. She opened my mind and from that time onward I've always focused my attention on my lover's needs above my own. I learned early on that I could have an orgasm while screwing selfishly, or I could have an amazing orgasm while giving her pleasure. The experience is inordinately better for me when I know I have pleased her.

I didn't lose my virginity until I was eighteen, primarily because I was a totally clueless teenager. I didn't have mad sexy skills or even a basic understanding of a woman's sexuality. The first woman I ever penetrated was a hooker nearly thirty years my senior who kept slapping me on the ass and telling me to hurry up. It was not the romantic introduction to sex one would hope for.

I persevered though and discovered that having sex with a woman was probably about the most amazing thing two people could do together, and so much better than anything I could do alone. The lady friend that taught me so much, taught me well, then turned me loose on a few of her friends. Word got around and my dance card would vacillate between full and empty. I had a lot of fun, they had a lot of fun, and I got my heart broken more than once.

I told you that so that you would understand that I'm not some selfish brute. I have no delusions about my looks or abilities in bed. I did learn some interesting things though about having a big cock. Some of those things are good, some are problematic, and some make a lie of the stories you might read.

First of all, a big cock doesn't impress a woman at all unless she experiences it. I'm a grower, not a shower, so my flaccid bulge isn't that much more impressive than the average guy's. Even assuming that women focus on cock first and foremost, the only way she would be impressed is if I showed her my erection. You can imagine that as introductions go that probably isn't all that socially acceptable.

It has been my experience that women look at a whole lot of other things before genital size enters the picture. I know that this may come as a shock to a lot of guys, but women like to have a personal connection to their lovers for the most part. I'm sure there will be tons of exceptions cited by commenters, but the fact remains that women connect emotionally before they connect sexually. I don't mean to say that a woman has to fall in love with a guy, just that she has to feel a connection with the guy.

I can remember a few times that I hooked up with a new lover in just a few minutes. In every case, the woman already knew of me, had interacted with me before that moment, and liked me as a person. The women had been waiting for me to get a clue that they were interested. You would think as long as civilization has been around that women would figure out that we guys are typically pretty clueless. It was a rare occasion that I was absolutely sure a woman wanted to bed me until I was actually in bed with her.

I suppose it has a lot to do with how girls are raised to not be sluts. A big part of that is never letting a guy know you are interested in him sexually unless you are in a loving relationship with him. I have no idea how many times in life I missed the muted signals that a woman was interested. By the same token, I knew every time when a woman wasn't.

What if negative feedback was the only way you knew whether or not you were on the right path? Imagine the following scenario:

"Mom, I want lunch."

Mom gives him a smack on the ass.

"Mother, I want some lunch?

Smack!

"Mother dear, lunch?

Smack!

"Mother, may I please have some lunch?"

Mom makes him a sandwich and frowns at him as she sets it in front of him, "Took you long enough."

You know she wants to have sex with you when she actually does. The only way to find out is to put yourself out there and take the shots. Some women are kind about it, some are indifferent, and some are downright mean. It seems to me that they always expect me to understand what they are thinking and feeling, while providing me with no clue about either. Then, there is the almost disgusted, or at least disappointed, look because of my demonstratable rock-level IQ. I can't imagine the pages women could fill while writing about the cluelessness of men.

Is this a diatribe about women? Absolutely not. Our social structure brought us to this point and it works, for the most part, even with us clueless men. I love women and I've always been perfectly willing to give it my best shot and get shot down as often as not. It certainly would have been nice to feel a little less out of the loop during the process.

What if women were more transparent with men? What if it were a social norm for a woman to just walk up and tell a guy she'd like to have sex? Would it really be that simple? Let's leave aside for a second the excitement of the budding relationship and how that adds to the eroticism. Typically, men are stronger and more massive than women. Social mores and laws are the tools used to keep rampant ravaging by the male population in check. A woman has no idea if the wonderfully nice guy that's hitting on her will be a rapist or the best thing that ever happened to her. In her position, would you jump right in, or would you be a bit more hesitant about putting your life at risk?

Then, there is the affection thing. Women like to know that their lover has affection for them. Guys, especially young guys, couldn't care less about affection, as long as they get laid. Sure, it would be nice to feel things about the woman, but it isn't a requirement. Getting her in bed is the main goal. All that other stuff might come later, or it might not.

Faced with that, is it any wonder that women aren't jumping our bones right and left? Yet, the world keeps turning, people fall in love, and babies still get born. I firmly believe if it weren't for the way women manage relationships most of us men would still be virgins wondering why women don't like us.

You may ask what that has to do with having a big cock. My point is that before that big cock comes into play a whole lot of other things have to happen first. A woman has to be attracted to me, she has to trust me, and she has to believe a dalliance with me is worth the time she could have spent doing practically anything else. A high sex drive isn't exclusive to men. The difference is that women are willing to think it through before taking the plunge. Men, on the other hand just want to hear "Yes". Again, there are exceptions and I realize that I am gender stereotyping, but that doesn't make what I'm writing any less true for most of us.

Some guys use their looks or macho mannerisms to break the ice. I always found that humor worked for me. I love to laugh and I love to make other people laugh. I had no idea some women found that sexy until a few of them told me. Once I knew I did my best to forget it. I found that knowing humor worked made me try too hard to be funny. Nothing is less funny than someone trying to be funny and failing at it.

I'm out for the evening and I've managed to impress the woman I'm interested in. She's ready to go, as long as I don't do or say, something stupid before we are actually in my bed. We find ourselves in my bedroom and are warming each other up nicely. The clothes fly and she lays eyes on my cock for the first time. Does she immediately start salivating? Can I see wetness running down her thighs? Is she dying to choke on my raging erection?

Nope, not a chance. My experience has been that one of two things happened. The most common was nothing but continued intimacy. No comment, no sudden deep throat, and no moisture escaping orifices to the point she's dehydrated. The other was worse. I've had women take one look at me and say words to the tune of, "You're not putting that in me."

I understand their hesitance. The woman has never had sex with me. She doesn't know if I'll be a considerate lover or just bang the hell out of her. Remember that the decision to give a man access to her body, is based on constant analysis of risks and rewards. Why take the chance with someone new if it's a crap shoot whether he'll hurt you are not?

Then we come to the act. I learned relatively early that I can hurt a woman if I'm not careful. Power fucking was an extremely rare occurrence and always at her request. A little soreness the next day is not uncommon. Needing to get your cervix frozen because a big cock damaged you is an entirely different thing altogether.

I have to be careful about how deep I go and the speed at which I go there. That's not a bad thing, it's only considerate. One thing I've never had happen was for a woman to demand I fuck her hard, deep, and fast, at least not more than once.

Sounds kind of horrible doesn't it? That couldn't be farther from the truth. After a certain point in my life, there was only one time that my lover didn't tell me how much she enjoyed herself. That one exception? It was a woman that I later found out was married. Her husband had cheated on her and she had gone out clubbing with an eye toward revenge. I was the guy that caught her, although I had no idea at the time what her story was. I was young, she was amazingly hot and interested. We went to my place and things went swimmingly until we fucked and she orgasmed. It went downhill from there fast. I think that moment was when it hit her what she had done and the weight of it was too much. She couldn't leave fast enough. She had never shared so much as her name and I never saw her again. When I talked to the women she had been with that evening they told me her story, but wouldn't share her name. I think about that night to this day, but I know that nothing I could have done would have changed anything for her. I wasn't a romantic interest. I was a tool for her revenge until she realized that wasn't what she wanted or needed at all.

I think part of what makes that coupling stick with me is that I was quite taken with her and had high hopes of seeing her again before the night abruptly ended. Another trope was shot down. She very obviously enjoyed my big cock, but it certainly didn't make her into my slave. When everything was said and done, a well-hung guy that knew how to use it couldn't come close to replacing what she had, even if what she had was a cheating asshole.

That brings me to one of my main points. While there may be instances where a woman in love with her husband experiences a strange big cock and leaves him for it, that's an aberration and far from normal. Most affairs aren't cock based, they're affection based. I'm not saying love based, I'm saying affection. Two people connect in some way. There is the excitement of someone new without the day-to-day baggage of a relationship. It is frightfully easy to fall for the newness, the excitement, and the forbidden aspect of it. She doesn't have to deal with all the little things her husband does to piss her off. This guy treats her like a queen and she isn't burdened with anything relationship-wise at first. It's all a great adventure until it's not.

The only difference between the man and the woman, in this case, is that he's probably much more susceptible to temptation than she is. That's simply because men think of sex more in the physical sense than they do in the emotional sense. Basically, we think with our dicks first, then with our hearts. This is a huge generality, but I believe there is a lot of truth in it.

I've had mediocre bedmates and absolutely wonderful bedmates, and more than a few of them were in relationships already. Never once did one of those lovers say that they were leaving their boyfriend, lover, or husband because my cock was addictive. Sure, they would tell me how much they loved having sex with me, but in their minds, they drew a line. We might have had an ongoing tryst over months, but she never ever suggested leaving her significant other because of my cock. Cock, regardless of how epic it is, will never replace emotion in a woman's heart.

There is a mathematical function called Standard Deviation. It's a bell curve that shows the preferred outcome at the top of the bell and the deviation from that outcome at each lip of the bell. Standard deviation is used to measure whether a process is in control. In other words, it's used to see if the preferred outcome (the top of the bell curve) is the one measured in real life and it shows how closely reality compares to the preferred outcome. Pretty much anything that can be measured and varies in some measurable way, can be expressed in a bell curve.

The standard deviation bell curve for cocks would have an average (top of the curve) of roughly five and a quarter inches. The actual number from my extensive research (Google) is 5.21 inches. As the cocks get shorter, the values move left of the bell curve until the value is effectively zero. The right of the curve moves in the other direction and probably maxes out at around ten and a half. Yes, there are bigger cocks, but they are exceptionally rare considering the number of cocks worldwide and are not statistically relevant. Most of us have never seen one, and those of us who have probably did so while watching porn.

What's the point of this exercise? Well, what it tells me is that of all the millions of successful intimate relationships there are out there, well over half of them are with men that are below six inches in length. So why aren't these poor needy women beating down my door? It's simple. They don't feel poor and needy. They love whom they love and the size of his cock doesn't change that.

Does that mean size doesn't matter? No, I don't think so. It's just that size doesn't matter as much as other things do. Seriously men, think about it. All other things being equal, If you had the chance to be with a woman who had the most amazing pussy you ever heard of you would be all over it. But, what if all other things weren't equal? What if you found her ugly? What if she was a horrible person that you couldn't stand? Would you really want that pussy, or would you prefer a 'lesser' pussy attached to a woman you were drawn to?

Get over yourself. It was a rhetorical question.

Last and surely not least are the physical limitations. Anal sex is a tragedy waiting to happen. I've never met a woman that wanted me in her ass. Not once. There were a few that were willing to give it a shot up until the moment I started pushing and the pain started.

Deep throat? HA! That's never happened either. Oh, I'm sure there are women out there that could do it, but those women have dedicated a significant amount of time to learning how to swallow a sword. They trained for it and most women aren't that dedicated to sucking cock. It's not like they hold seminars for the skill.

I will be honest and tell you that I haven't suffered. You don't have to start a charity for me or anything. I've done just fine, had a lot of fun, and have pleased a few women. I know that my partners have enjoyed themselves. Even if they don't worship my massiveness as they should.