I'm Not Amy

A few days before New Year's Eve, Kim came to me with a problem. She and Rob were going to attend a New Year's Eve party with Sally and Bill but Rob's sister, Darlene, had received word that her fiancée had been wounded in combat with ISIS terrorists. Rob didn't want to leave his sister at home.

"Rick, would you agree to escort her to the party?" Kim implored. "The party is formal but you can wear your dress blues instead of a tux."

I somewhat reluctantly agreed, knowing just how devastating that kind of news could be to families and loved ones.

Upon returning to Rob's home after the dance we were greeted with news from Darlene's mother that her fiancée was recovering from his wounds and would be returning back to the states by the end of the month. I far as I was concerned it was the perfect start to the New Year.

******************

After saying my good-byes to my family I returned to Virginia to resume preparations for my next deployment. A week later the squadron was summoned to a meeting with our commanding officer. Our squadron along with eight other ones were being reassigned.

It seems the Pentagon had decided that a new Gerald Ford Class carrier was to be stationed at Mayport Naval Base in Jacksonville. The last carrier to be based there was the USS John F. Kennedy which had been decommissioned in August of 2007.

The new carrier would have two nuclear reactors, four shafts and a speed of 30+ knots (better than 35 miles per hour). The crew consisted of 4,539 men and women (ship, air wing and staff).

The Ford Class also employed a brand new system for launching planes from the deck known as Electromagnetic Aircraft Launch System (EMALS).

The older Nimitz-class, as well as other carriers, had always got planes moving for takeoff using steam-actuated catapults. The system required a lot of steam piping, a large condensate return, and tons of fresh water. They also had a lot of maintenance issues. Plus, with steam-actuation, the majority of the force is being transferred to the airplane at the beginning of the stroke—it's one hell of a jolt believe me. But a more linear pattern of acceleration could put less stress on an airframe, and thus get a longer lifespan out of the under carriage of the multi-million dollar fighter jets. That's where EMALS pays its way.

EMALS uses a linear induction motor with an electric current to generate a magnetic field. That field then propels a carriage down a track. It's basically a gigantic railgun that launches airplanes instead of shells. Pretty damn cool if you ask me.

The EMALS can even accommodate lightweight drones as well as heavier aircraft. It reaches top speeds gently, reloads more quickly and requires less maintenance. The arresting gear (the mechanism which catches the planes as they return to land) also uses EMALS technology as well, as will the elevators for the airplanes and weapons. The Ford class essentially eliminates steam and its associated problems from the equation.

My squadron along with eight others were being reassigned to support the new ship. We would be based at NAS Jacksonville just a few miles north of my mom and dad's home. It meant I would not be going on deployment for the rest of the year while we trained with the new carrier.

It also meant we would have a whole lot of acclimation ahead of us to insure that the deck crews and flight crews would be able to operate efficiently. It would take the better part of a year of intensive training getting used to the new systems. Hence, any deployment would be delayed to sometime the following year.

I called mom and dad to tell them the news and asked if they would begin to scout out an apartment for me. I wanted something close to them but not too far from the base. Being on the east side of the St. John's River would be ideal.

A few days later dad called with several possibilities he had found for me to consider. I drove down to scout them out. Then dad said something to me that made a whole lot of sense.

"Rick, why do you need an apartment? When you go on deployment it's for six months at a time. Why pay rent for something you'll only use half the time? Now that your sisters are gone our house is empty and lonely. Your mother and I would really like it if you came home and lived with us."

That made a lot of sense so I decided to accept his offer. Leaving my car at mom and dad's I flew back to Norfolk.

I was back in time to meet the movers the Navy had a contract with for relocating personnel. They packed up everything I owned, which wasn't much since it was a furnished apartment, and would transport my belongings back home to Jacksonville. Two days later I flew my fighter, along with the rest of the squadron, to NAS JAX.

Once there we began intensive training with the new carrier. There were several short cruises, sorting out any problems that were sure to crop up with a new ship and new technology. I flew countless missions practicing take offs and landings. Finally in early March of the following year we went on a two week full work up cruise in preparation for a deployment that would take place in late April.

On a Saturday morning, fifteen days before our scheduled departure for the Persian Gulf, I went for a morning run. It was a beautiful morning with clear skies and a warm sun.

Just about five miles into the run as I was coming down a tree lined street a small dog scampered into the street in front of me followed by a little girl running after him. I saw a car approaching that didn't appear to be slowing down. The dog raced back to the sidewalk but the girl simply froze in place.

In two strides I grabbed her and swung her to safety just as the car struck me. I rolled across the hood, sliding up to the windshield before falling to the street and slamming my head against the pavement. Everything went black as I lapsed into unconsciousness.

The next thing I remembered was waking up in the hospital. Mom and dad were sitting by my bedside.

"What happened?" I asked. "All I remember is seeing a little girl and a car about to hit her. Is she okay?"

"Yes. Just a skinned up knee and an awful fright. Seeing you lying in the street really scared her," mom replied.

Then dad quickly filled me in on some of the details. Broken right leg and a severe concussion. "The doctor will be in to talk with you in a few minutes and explain it all to you."

When the doctor arrived he told me I had a compound fracture of my lower right leg, various scrapes and contusions complemented the concussion.

"It is the concussion that has me worried. We'll be keeping you here for a few days You were really, really fortunate not to have fractured your skull," the doctor explained to me.

"I guess this means I'll be missing my deployment in two weeks." I, laughingly, stated.

"Afraid so," he replied. "I've already been in touch with your squadron commander. I informed him of your situation. He told me that he'll stop by later this afternoon to see you."

It was after four o'clock when Commander Williams, my squadron commander, appeared in my room.

"Wagner, couldn't you have come up with a better way to avoid deployment," he said with a big grin on his face.

"Seriously, though. Do you know that the little girl you saved is Admiral McMann's grand daughter? He's given me orders to place you on indefinite medical leave until you have fully recovered. So rest easy, Lieutenant, you did good, real good."

It was early that evening when mom came into my room and said to me. "You have some visitors. Are you up to seeing them?"

"Who are they?" I asked her.

"It's the mother, father and another woman of the little girl you saved," she answered.

"Okay. Sure, send them in."

The three adults followed my mother into the room. The man, a little older than me, introduced himself as John McMann along with his wife Barbara and her sister Christine Miller.

"I cannot begin even to tell you how grateful we are for your quick action. You saved our daughter, Kathryn's, life."

Come to find out that Barbara McMann had left their daughter with her mother to watch while she went to a dentist

appointment.

"Christine stopped by the house on her way home from school." Barbara explained.

"When she opened the front door Kathryn's little puppy escaped with my daughter hot on his heels. Before either mom or my sister could react . . . . well . . . . well you know the rest." She said trying not to cry.

Christine stepped from behind her sister and brother-in-law and I got a good look at her. She was about five foot five or six. I wouldn't even hazard a guess as to her weight. It wouldn't be polite. Let's just say it was more than just appropriate to her height. She had dark brown hair that fell to her shoulders, framing her face and she had the most intense blue eyes. Her smile simply lit up the room.

"Thank you, thank you. It is all my fault that you got hurt. If I hadn't opened the front door little Fritz wouldn't have escaped," she whispered

"No," I responded. "It wasn't anyone's fault. It was an accident, just an accident pure and simple. I'm just glad that everything turned out okay."

"But everything is not okay. You're so badly hurt . . ."

I stopped her right there. "Hey! I'm alive, bones mend, scrapes and contusions heal. Please don't beat yourself up over what happened. Everything turned out for the best."

After expressing their thanks once more they left.

As they were leaving I saw Christine glance back at me with an expression on her face I didn't quite fathom.

Five days later I was released from the hospital when the doctor was satisfied the concussion would leave no lasting effects on me. Dad arranged for a hospital bed to be delivered and set up in his den so I wouldn't have to navigate the stairs up to my room.

The day after I got home mom came into the den announcing that there was someone to see me. It was Christine.

"I wanted to stop by and see how you were doing," she offered, "and I brought you a 'Get-Well Soon' card that Kathryn made for you. So how are you doing?"

"I'm doing all right. Most of the scrapes and contusions are healing well quite well. The leg will have to remain in a cast for another five or six weeks, though."

We had a pleasant conversation for almost an hour when mom interrupted. "Are you ready for lunch, Rick? Miss Miller would you like to join us. It's just sandwiches and soup."

I answered for her. "Yeah, mom she will be staying."

"Thank you, Mrs. Wagner, are your sure it will be no trouble?" she added.

For the next few weeks Christine stopped by to visit almost every day. As the weather got warmer and warmer we moved from the den out to the screen porch by the pool. We learned a lot about each other as we explored each other's hopes and plans for the future.

Christine was finishing her degree in secondary education with hopes of becoming a teacher. She had completed her internship and was just finishing a few elective classes before graduation.

I told her all about what happened with Amy. Christine made no derogatory comments about Amy other than to say she though that she acted very foolishly.

Christine then asked me if I thought that I would be able to forgive her and, perhaps, get back together with Amy.

I sat for a few movements and reflected on her question before answering. It led to a very long and revealing conversation concerning love, trust and loyalty. It seemed that Christine and I had almost identical beliefs on the subject.

In the end I answered her question.

"Yes, I'd like to think that I could forgive her. But I don't think I could ever be able get back with her. Once I lost my trust in her I don't think I could ever recover it."

On more than one occasion we went out together. We went to see the 'Phantom of the Opera' playing at the Times Union Center for the Performing Arts. In addition, we went out to eat several times. Christine had to drive since I still had the cast on my leg.

One night we went to a fancy restaurant right on the river for dinner. Afterward we took a booth in the lounge listening to the music from a small dance band. Christine was sitting next to me and was almost dancing in her seat when a guy came over and asked her to dance with him.

She politely told him, "no thank you."

He persisted and she responded. "What part about 'NO' do you not understand? I'm here with 'MY' boyfriend and I will not abandon him to dance with you or anyone else. Now please leave us alone."

With that she moved closer, smiled at me and gave me a kiss. That was a special moment for the both of us.

Once the cast came off I was able to begin full-time rehab on my leg. I started by walking everyday and gradually increased it to some light jogging. Many afternoons Christine and I would jog in one of the many parks in the Jacksonville area. Finally, in late summer I was able to pass the flight physical that allowed me to return to active duty.

Christine and I spent as much time together as our busy schedules allowed. She graduated in late May and began making the rounds to the various school over the summer months that she thought she would like to teach at.

One evening in August we were having dinner with my folks when dad asked how her job search was progressing.

"Not encouraging so far," she responded. "I've got some really good letters of recommendations from my professors and from the school I did my internship at, but so far no one wants to take a chance on a new hire. I'm sure something will break for me in the near future," she said with confidence I was sure she didn't feel.

I saw my mom glance at my dad with 'the look' and knew something was up.

Got to tell you about my dad. He worked for over thirty-five years in the Duval County School District. The last fifteen years were at the district level, finishing as the director of teacher personnel before he retired. A lot of people owed him favors. I know he made a phone call the next morning and . . . .

Three days later an excited Christine called me. "I've got an interview! Tomorrow morning. I'm so nervous. It came out of nowhere."

"Relax, sweetheart. Just be yourself and you'll do just fine," I told her.

Just after noon a very excited Christine called me.

"I got it . . . I got it! The principal offered me the job at the conclusion of my interview. She said I was a perfect fit for the position. I'm so happy I can hardly sit still. Can I come over so we can celebrate when you get home this afternoon?"

Celebrate we did. Christine insisted that mom and dad join us for dinner. After the meal, as we sat toasting Christine's new job, she raised her glass to my father and said to him.

"Thank you for everything you did for me."

With a look of mock horror on his face dad responded.

"I did very little. All I did was make one little phone call to remind a certain principal of a young woman who got a second chance many, many years ago. Everything after that happened was all your doing."

When school started up in the early Fall, Christine would come over two or three time a week. Come to find out Christine was teaching the same subject mom had taught before her

retirement. Mom and she would spend a couple hours of those afternoons writing lesson plans and developing strategies she could use with her students.

In late October things had heated up in the Middle East and I received word that my squadron would be deployed sooner than expected.

The last week of November 2017 I was back on my way to the Persian Gulf.

The last few nights before I left were intense. I had fallen deeply in love with Christine and she told me she had fallen in love with me on the same day I stepped in front of that car saving her niece's life.

"Rick, Remember one thing . . . I'm NOT Amy. I'll be here for you when you return," she said kissing me over and over again.

******************

February 2018 - TRAGEDY

The first ten weeks on station were uneventful. There was a squeeze on to finally defeat the ISIS terrorist forces and I was flying support missions to back up the coalition ground forces.

My wingman and I were returning from one of these missions deep inside Iraq when my cockpit suddenly filled with smoke. As system after system failed it became impossible to control the aircraft.

Bailing out over ISIS held territory was not a good thing given what they were prone to do with captured enemy combatants. But I had no choice and was forced to eject from my crippled fighter.

Landing safely I quickly disposed of my parachute and sought some shelter to hide until night fall. Finding a crevice in a nearby hillside I took stock of my situation. One half liter bottle of water, six water purification tablets and four energy bars were all I had with which to survive.

I had my H and K .45 calibre pistol with ten rounds in the magazine with an additional two fully loaded magazines in the pocket of my flight suit.

When I went to activate my emergency locator beacon I discovered it must have been torn away from my flight suit when I ejected. "Damn!!" I was in some deep trouble now. Without the beacon transmitting my location there was no way I could be located for rescue.

I knew if I stayed put I ran the risk of capture so I made plans to start hiking out of the immediate area. Traveling by night and hiding during the daylight hours would be the safest course of action.

Sixteen days later and I had still managed to avoid capture. But now I faced a more serious problem. Water. I hadn't been able to find any water in more than three days. Without water I would die from dehydration in a matter of hours.

Just before dawn I found a bombed out building. The roof had collapsed into the main room and the windows and doors were gone. It would be in all likelihood my final resting place. I crawled inside and seriously considered ending my life right then and there.

Then in my semi-conscious state I saw Christine and her voice told me how much she loved and needed me. I put my gun away and fell asleep exhausted. Excited yelling from outside the building woke me up. I had been discovered.

Taking my pistol I went outside to meet the enemy. I didn't even have the strength to raise my gun before it was snatched away from me. Blacking out I fell to my knees and collapsed in the dirt. The next thing I knew I was being supported in a sitting position with a water bottle held to my lips.

"Slowly, drink slowly my American friend. You must take only small sips right now," a man's voice was saying to me.

Seeing the terror in my eyes he continued speaking.

"Do not be afraid. We are not ISIS. We are Kurdish Peshmerga. We fight against ISIS. You are safe and you will be protected by us," he said in halting English.

Helping me to my feet and supporting me as we walked to a pick-up truck. "Come. It is not safe here," he explained.

Placing me in the back seat of an extended cab pick-up, he handed me another full water bottle and something to eat before he got into the front seat and ordered the driver to proceed.

For the next six weeks I lived and fought alongside these brave warriors.

******************

FEBRUARY 2018 - JACKSONVILLE, FLORIDA

Rick had been gone the better part of two months. There wasn't hardly a day that went by without me receiving either an e-mail or a letter via snail mail. On more than a few occasions we able to hook up with each other on Skype.

I had made it a habit to visit Rick's mom and dad three to four times a week after school. By now I was calling them Momma Emma and Daddy Karl. We would share any news we had from Rick with each other. Well, almost all of what Rick had written to me. Sometimes a mother doesn't need to know everything about her son's love life.