by qhml1
Great pace. Great humor. Interesting twist in giving Barry some not so subtle choices. Overall a great read!
and they all stayed real close, TK U MLJ LV MNV
No broken crockery or even a raised voice and most especially no warning, Ward Cleaver goes rogue. Its just a little more spooky if the Terminator comes back as Mr. Peepers not Armold Schwarzenegger with no dilution of power or intent to destroy .
There was also no warning that qhml1 could push the limits so well in this quickv but through BTB flash story . I guess you never can tell. Anyway this was nothing if not droll to the bone. Well played.
just for once, where the wrong-done-to guy doesn't have someone handy to do all the investigating and supply loads of incriminating evidence. That said, because it was well written, it was okay for such an overused formula - and I have seen the bull-bander used on sheep.
This was the opposite of the usual candyass, wimp cocksucking bullshit that inundates this site. I could read stories like this all day.
I love this story, you get 15 and a half stars from me.
Yes, they exist, we have several here on the ranch, we use them on the Bull calves, (hopefully before they are two months old)...lol.. I would love to have one that "easily" expands out and locks though.
Very elaborate, but Hubby had the resources and the imagination, so it all works out! Very convenient to have all your family (minus Sweetie, of course) as partners in crime! The family who PREYS together, stays together!
Worth five stars, but I brushed the 'one' - don't know any way to correct that! Sorry!
Generally an enjoyable read. Just two nits to pick.
1. A sniper gun guaranteed out to 350yds? Don't know what guarantee is involved, but any good hunting rifle can perform well at 350yds. Sniper rifles are all about accuracy and that would probably be referred to as something in MOA.
2. Only MDs can write prescriptions. No way would a pharmacy honor one from a nurse practitioner and she would probably be arrested for writing them.
The way the Husband took care of everyone including the others in the Neighborhood. Good to have kids you can count on.
You are a real artist in out of the ordinary story telling. Please keep up the good work.
Great revenge tale. I hate cheaters. All should live in excruciating pain.
HA
Fun and funny. Light hearted in the BTB style. I liked the choices Barry had to make, cool spin on revenge.
Enjoyable, at least up until the point where his daughter decided to join in lecturing a woman who had been cheated on about the merits of fidelity. What kind of half-assed investigator doesn't check to verify that the cheating isn't reciprocal or that the marriage isn't open? Kudos on her ethics, though her skills leave something to be desired.
Somebody must have pissed Q off royally. I like the four kids. Great story!
Also why no punishment for the wife who was the only real guilty party as she was married to the stupid old man?
I do prefer revenge stories to pure cuck stories, but a little more normal behaviour and children would be better yet. As a satire of a revenge story it is great.
The story is a Good Classical Cruel Revenge Story with the 4 parts: The past of the married pair, discovery of the cheating, revenge and a good romantic panorama epiloge.
Sums it up. Well entertaining - loved the withdrawn violence of it. 5*
Ha, Ha, Ha She will be the cheating wife character for a newer Katmai's story in Alaska!!!!!!!!!
In some states, nurse practioners may write scripts as part of their scope of practice.
Great story! I read this, and "Redneck Funeral", back to back...still laughing!
Thanks for your efforts,
Jim
And they have a type of banding device for Rams, too. Seen them in use on the farm.
Fun read and all this stars you can get!
To the guy who felt his P.I. daughter was inept - get a grip - she was watching out for her dad and caught them and then figured out the asshole was a serial cheater she went above and beyond as it was -
A lot of fun was had by all the right people - even chubby got hers - although she was still wrong she had the best rationale for her cheating.
Good family values there -
Had me laughing my ass off! I still think he should have really castrated Asshole, but still a damn funny read!
5 HUGE Stars!
Albeit a tad unbelievable. No matter what he or his children said, I believe that Barry presses charges. He has the stun gun marks on him, the marks from the bindings, and most likely his DNA in the bed of the truck. He's going to jail for a LONG time. His soon to be ex-wife had the drugs in her system. She goes to the hospital, gets tested and the conspiracy to commit gets added to the charges of kidnapping and not only does he go to jail, but his ex-wife gets a LOT of money in the divorce so that he can get a lesser charge and fewer years in prison. That's the reality of this nice little BTB story. Bit it was fun to read. Well done.
I've always thought what a better world it would be if everyone was terrified of fucking with another man's life.
Okay, lets say Bary did press charges. First of all that makes his previous police report false, which is a crime in itself. First thing Dad's lawyer son will ask, if Barry lied about the first report, why should anyone believe he is not lying about the second report? Especially since he would also be admitting to multiple infidelities that do not provide a good character witness for Barry.
As for DNA evidence in the back of the truck, just say Barry had been in there helping you load or unload something recently. You try proving a negative. Ellen goes to the hospital tests for drugs, are they recreational? Did she take them voluntarily. Prove her husband gave them to her surreptitiously. Maybe Barry gave them to her?
Criminal charges have to have some kind of physical proof. Hell, I could accuse you of being a Martian. Now how would I prove that? I know, you will volunteer to be dissected to prove you are not a Martian. Right? Right?
"What kidnapping? The woman was abusing alcohol and drugs and fell asleep. Another example of all the bad, self-destructive decisions Ellen has been making since she began to commit adultery. Her thoughtful, long-suffering husband patiently sat with her all night, like a guardian angel, until she woke up."
That sort of verbiage is what you pay your attorney for.
And as for punishing Ellen. She's going to live in Alaska. Bewhahahahah! Most peoples experience of that vast hellhole, is a few days from the deck of a cruise ship, maybe a little fishing or hunting or camping during those six days of the year Alaska is actually a very nice place to visit.
The winters are bearable if you have a large enough oil tank to last six months of central heating and never, ever have to go outside except for a brief run to the store to restock your alcohol supply. Then its a tossup, Spring turns Alaska into a giant mud bath. Then it's summer, oh yey! Quadzillions of biting, stinging, blood-sucking bugs, every where you go.
...so pick up your Quill (the new one) and dip it in the inkwell and WRITE...
You write some good stories - Thank You !
He trades one cheating slut for another? What's the point in the divorce then? Mrs. grant was cheating on her husband too, so what's the difference between her and his own wife?
He also said that his wife was almost 11 years younger than him. He`s 55, and she`s 46. I guess that, technically, 9 is ALMOST 11. I hope he isn`t in charge of payroll in his company!
takes in one cheating slut after he divorces another. Where was the sense in that? He may have felt sorry for the fat cow, but would any man feel sorry enough to take her into his house and support her? I enjoyed the rest of the story, but once again, you went bat shit crazy with the ending.
I did not pick the story apart as the amateur editors do. Just read it and thought it quite amusing. What the hell, if you're gonna burn the bitch and her fuck toy, do it right! Right? Cheers!
not much to say, in the real world this wouldn't fly, but still! Q must have been seriously pissed off when writing this. As much as it isn't real and only fiction it is a great story. Doesn't do any permanent harm but gets his licks in by scaring the A-hole to death.
Liked it the first time loved it this time. Gave it a five and added it to my favorites...
and if every thing regains momentum, case closed, TK U MLJ LV NV
fyi, I have a prescription written by a Nurse Practitioner and the pharmacy has no problem filling it for me. just sayin
Each state has their own laws on what Nurse Practioners can do. Your state appears to be more progressive, than some in giving Nurse Practioners more responsibility. Well deserved in my opinion.
I enjoyed the story very much. His kids, in their various occupations, kept him in revenge mode perpetually. I'm happy they saved his butt when needed. Cheers!
Regarding the age difference, even if her birthday is before his, causing her to turn 46 while he is still 55, that makes their birth years 10 years apart, and while, as others have said that IS “almost eleven years”, why not just say that she was ten years younger?
Congrats. A good revenge story. Four stars out of five. This isn't my usual cup of time, but I admire the crisp, cleaning writing, well-structured dialogue and the fast pace.
I thought I had read all of Q's stories since he is one of my favourite artists. So I am surprised I missed this one. I noticed it after reading his latest story called Stumpy and Olive which is definitely a five star piece.
I like how the main male character, keeps his head and carries out his clever plan efficiently. I also liked how the kids are all involved and how they instinctively know what their Dad is up to and intercede. I don't think in the real world he could get away with this for the many reasons that have been stated by other commentors, but this is a BTB fantasy. So it's all good.
There is almost no emotional element to this story, and no explanation as to why the wife cheats. He has no regrets and feels no sense of loss. For me that is what kept this story from being a five. I guess I'm a softie.
I hope to see more stories by Q in the future. Cheers Steve
To me the capper for this good story was the the daughter in-law coming dressed as him in a suit saying he's the scariest man she ever met and won. It was one line but worked.
for government work. And they do work but I have seen goats try to drag their nuts off for nearly a whole day. I never used them, knife is quicker and more humane. And on Barry it would have been more fun. Loved it where the DIL thought her father in law was the scariest man she ever saw. Too funny. You know, I had thought I had read all of this author's stories but this is the first time I have read this one.
Thanks for sharing this story. And to the commenter who asked what was the difference between his wife and the cheater he took in. About 20 years I would say.
THAT'S how Bulls are neutered?!?!?! What kind of sick bastard built such a thing. To live your life as your balls slowly fall off. Terrible, terrible terrible.
This story was so fitting and funny, I loved how he tormented Barry and did little actual damage! The Halloween party was a perfect ending!
He didn't say that it was adult bulls....
I was with my sis one year when she had her stallion (maybe two years old) gelded...
They gave the horse a shot to put it out, sliced open the scrotum, and then took this device they put over something in the sac and started closing it...
You could hear the ratchets click on it... That sound gave me sympathy pains for quite a while...
Liked the story... Funny to think his kids found him scary but you just KNOW they told Barry something that was scary too...
Likely, "We'll all alibi our dad for this... So who will we alibi if there's a next time because you go to the police...?"
Why the hell was she fucking some unemployed loser when she could have gotten a job and had her pick of handsome studs to service her while hubby was out of town?
Thanks for another great 5 star send-up!
Except why all the “temporary” things? OK, maybe not the castration, but tattoos for both cheaters? Fuck ‘em!
His wife got a smart attorney who had a good PI. A moron sends Daddy dearest to prison for 10 to 12. Barry testified against him. His wife testified against him. The alibis disappeared in the face of being dragged into Court to testify. I wanted to like this but it was just too full of giant holes.
You obviously had fun writing this - and I had fun reading it! Five ***** 's.
Perhaps you might find it informative to read of the circumstances of the suicide of Alan Turing. Google should be a sufficient rescource.
Always at the top of his game. Another creative story from the depths of his imaginative mind. Thanks for sharing. One hell of a family.....
4 stars. However, as with many stories on LW in my opinion it would always be better if there was a confrontation with the cheater. What had he done or not done to cause her to cheat? Why did she do it? Didn't she love him? Why didn't he take some revenge on her? Anyway still a very good story.
This was a really great mild BTB story. I enjoyed the new wife's tale.
55-46=9, not 11
I'm sure someone else has commented. Good story otherwise.
Smokepole
He threw one slut out
just to invite another one into his home?
And the moral of the story?
Let me help with that.
Hurt me once, shame on you.
Hurt me twice, shame on me.
Again. This is a humorous take on a serious situation. This time Barry is allowed to live. Great story.
He trades one cheating slut for another cheating whore!!! At least he married with his eyes wide open this time!!! LOL!!!
It must be so rewarding to see how well you raised your children to to be such successful people. And, my oh my, the loyalty they showed for their father is just wonderful...
Hey all, ever think about cheating? Bet there are a couple guys or even gals out there that might be a little like this guy, Better think twice, is a little sex worth taking a chance? Loved the story!
I absolutely love this one. It never fails to bring a smile to my face. Great job!
I felt sorry for Mrs. Grant if her story was true. She was not responsible for ending her own marriage; her husband did.
Good story but I never would have gotten involved with Mrs Grant, let alone have a kid at 58.
Good read, I lol'd a few times. Speaking of Neuter pills, there is a crazy rich dude, has something to do with operating systems for computers, a real nerd. His wife wants to go into third world countries with these neuter pills as population control. She must think she is God. I think she should be Neutered or?
My first observation is too much detail. Why bother with the age difference if you can't remember what you wrote? You start with her being 11 years younger, yet when he is 55, she is 46. It snaps the (observant) reader out of the fiction. I sit back and go "What?"
A couple of paragraphs later, the opposite occurs. I crave detail. In 2 weeks the PI produces pictures of: "him and her on my couch, the washing machine, our dining room table, his recliner, his backyard, even one of him on his knees in front of his children's swing set, while my darling wife sat in the swing." Who needs a PI?
What did they do? Agree to have an affair with all the doors and windows open? Invite the photographer to come and get close-ups? I didn't bother with any more after that.
5* Nice humorous story. I doubt Barry will be causing trouble in future. Loved the winner of the Halloween costume contest.