I'm That Guy

"No Hubert, you do not have a mommy complex, my first fiancé had a mommy complex, his entire world revolved around mommy. That aint you studly. The reason I asked is because I love quality stockings, but I wasn't going to wear them if it was just you trying to control things, I had enough of that with my late husband. I've never met a man so comfortable in his own skin that he would tell a woman his fetishes, you amaze me Hu."

Feeling goofy I decided to be Goofy, "Oh gawrsh, you make a feller feel funny inside."

(if you're young enough to not know who Goofy is, google it)

Tossing a napkin at me she declared I'd had enough beer for one night and it was time to go. I slept well, the work day went by without incident, I left early enough to stop at the florist for a mixed bouquet and made it home in plenty of time to shower and get ready. I was wearing a pair of Zenetti double pleated dress slacks, a Perry Ellis shirt, floral tie, sport coat and black loafers, I pulled into her driveway at exactly ten minutes after five. I stood at her door, flowers in hand and rang the bell, she waited a fashionable minute before opening.

"Hi Hu, thank you for the flowers, come in while I put these in water."

She looked great, a plaid skirt, white silk blouse, sheer seamed nylons and three inch black heels. As she fiddled around in the pantry for a vase I walked around a little, looking at pictures, different award she's won and had displayed on the fireplace mantel, then I saw something that really impressed me, a picture of her standing next to candy apple red 1932 Ford Roadster Rat Rod. Holy shit, does this woman actually own this I wondered. As she walked into the room she slipped her hand through my arm and looked at the picture.

"Sweet isn't it? My older brother, my dad and I built that when I was seventeen. It has a 327 short block in it, a Tremec four speed transmission, the brakes have been converted to disk and a ton of other shit I can't recall, it's all listed in a book with pics. We stripped it to the frame and rebuilt it entirely."

"This is nice, how long did it take?"

"We worked on it nights and weekends for almost three years, both my brother and I had part time jobs, damned near every extra penny we had went into that thing."

Walking to the car I had asked why neither her dad or brother had it, why was it in her garage.

"Dad died six years after mom, both of cancer and unfortunately my brother never made it back from the sandbox, watching his flag draped casket come off the plane was the hardest moment of my life I think. I often wonder why we were there in the first place. With them gone it sits in my garage. Allen wanted to sell it, that was the closest we ever came to a divorce, less than a year later he was dead."

On the way to the supper club she asked if I liked old cars and hot rods.

"As a matter of fact, I do. I have a 1949 Ford Coupe that belonged to my grandpa, nothing like yours though, it's as original as I can keep it. I had to replace some wiring, brake lines and the headliner, otherwise it's just like grandpa left it. Even has the original paint."

Dinner was delicious, she had the queen cut prime rib, I had the New York strip. We shared a piece of cheesecake with a cherry topping and made our way to the bar for an after dinner cocktail. Low and behold who walked in but Linda and Mark arm and arm, smiling and laughing, when she saw me she dragged him over to our table. After exchanging pleasantries they made their way to the dining area.

Charlotte looked at me with interest, "Wow, you seem to know her well. Somebody I should view as competition?"

"Nope, no competition, Linda works directly with Millie and me, she and Mark have been together a number of months now."

"Yeah, but, she was going out with you for a while wasn't she?"

"Yup, for a short season during her divorce. I encouraged her to find somebody closer to her age, get married and have some babies."

"Is that what you want to do Hu, get married a d have babies?"

"Nope, no more wives for me, I'm bad luck I guess. My first wife died in a horrible auto accident the third year of our marriage, we had just learned she was pregnant, a dump truck ran a stop sign and t-boned her. It took me several years to get beyond that and still maintain my sanity, my second wife died of ovarian cancer seven years ago, she couldn't conceive, thus we never had children. When I need a little kid fix, I have lots of nieces and nephews. That's my shitty story, what's yours?"

"Mine doesn't come anywhere near yours, raised in a small town, older brother now deceased, parents both gone, four years of college, was married to Allen shy of twenty years and here I am a widow at forty four. So ,,,, you would not consider another wife even if you found miss perfect?"

I thought a moment before answering, "Miss perfect huh? Describe miss perfect."

She downed the last swallow of her blackberry brandy, placed her hand softly on mine and grinned.

"She's five foot seven, dirty blonde hair, natural I might add, the carpet matches the drapes, slim waist, long legs, loves garter belts and stockings or thigh high stay ups, likes to dress up for someone worth dressing up for, wears bronze colored wire rim glasses and loves jewelry ,,, oh, almost forgot, she wears a 34C bra."

I smiled, "34C huh? Nice, ya know, she sounds an awful lot like this gal I've had my eye on at work. I have to admit, a girl like that might change my mind under the right circumstances."

Her answer floored me, "I just want to know I have a chance before I let my guard down Hu. What I don't need in my life is drama and heartache, I want somebody stable. Are you stable Hu? You seem to be."

"Stable Able that's my nickname." I chuckled and looked in her eyes. "I'd like to think I am Charlotte, like you I neither want nor need any drama in my life. I'm finally at a place where I feel comfortable and to be honest, I have not considered marriage again until you brought it up ten minutes ago. I guess if I found someone near my age who's as settled in life as I am, I would probably consider it."

She stood, took my hand and led me toward the door, as I opened her car door I'm sure she made it impossible to not look part way up her skirt, enough that I could see the clips of her garter belt. Walking her to her front door her arm was through mine, after unlocking she turned to me.

"Do you kiss on a first date Hu?"

I nodded and added, "This isn't our first date."

"Well if you think going out for burger and fries is a date at our age you're seriously confused, tonight was our first real date. Are you going to kiss me or not? I'm not asking again."

We kissed at the door, soft, warm, lingering. We didn't need to eat each other's face or swap spit, tender yet passionate kisses with an equal force from each was enough. Pulling back, she stayed in my arms.

"I'd invite you in but then you'd have to stay for breakfast and I'm not quite ready for that."

I smirked, "Carpet matches the curtains, interesting."

"Ya know Hu if you play your cards right you might get to vacuum that carpet."

Now I was grinning like the cat that ate the canary, "Would that be with or without attachments?"

"Oh definitely without, no need for attachments, had a histy three years ago, all systems are go. Just waitin for Houston to authorize liftoff."

She had me belly laughing at that point, finally a strong good looking woman with a great sense of humor and not afraid to exhibit passion when called for. I kissed her again telling her I'd see her at the office the next day. Traveling the short distance home my mind began to wander, I was certainly enthralled by this woman, if she's as real as she seems my battle will not be physical, it will be mental, can I allow myself to become that involved again to the point of marriage? I wouldn't survive a third death on my watch, it would drive me over the edge for good.

As I lay down for the night my phone pinged with a text.

Charlotte: "Had a great night Hu, loved the conversation on my steps and I enjoy your sense of humor. I've attached a little something to let you know how serious I am about you and me, I'm hoping it can become more than it is."

I scanned to the next frame and saw a picture of her holding her skirt just above the clip holding the stocking in place.

Me: "You don't play fair do you? Btw, I love what I'm looking at."

Charlotte: "That's good because I spoke with Houston and the countdown has begun. Night Hu, dream of me,"

For the first time in a long time I went to sleep with precum leaking into my underwear. I wasn't sure if I was ready to marry again, but I sure as hell wanted to be with this woman. One would think Mondays would be our busiest day as it is in many other industries, not so, for us it was always Friday. I didn't have time to slip out and say hi to Charlotte or eve have lunch for that matter, Linda brought me some coffee and donuts about ten thirty, after that I'd had nothing but water. About four o'clock a long tall good lookin babe walked in my door, Charlotte was looking mighty fine.

"Hi Hu, think you'll be late again tonight?"

Damn she looked good, a teal colored dress ending a few inches above the knee, dark blue sheer stockings, and three inch heels matching her dress, hair and makeup perfect, a string of pearls about her neck. As she leaned against the door jamb she had a hand resting on her hip looking at me with a silly grin, sort of like, *I'll bet you'd do me if I let you* kind of look.

"I should be done by five Charlotte. Got something in mind?"

"Don't laugh at me, I have a question to ask. Do you like SOS for lunch or supper?"

This woman was ringing my bell, "I love SOS, mom made it all the time. The food snobs think it's deplorable but it's one of my all time comfort foods, when I need to think of home or better times I want SOS."

"That's great HU, I want you to come over for supper and that's what I'm fixing, just wanted to make sure you wouldn't be grossed out. Over toast or plain? Oh, and Mrs. Andrews next door brought over some fresh baked cookies. Are you a cookies and milk guy, or coffee?"

"No contest Charlotte, over toast and milk for sure. What kind of cookies?"

"Molasses and why don't you start calling me what my family always did, Charli. I don't tell others than those I'm close to what my nickname is, those I work for or with need to see me as Charlotte. Can you be there by six?"

I was pumped, no telling where the evening might lead. "Six it is, anything you want me to bring?"

"An appetite and a bottle of better white wine."

Now she had me, I don't care for wine and I have no idea what's good and what isn't. "That might not be a good idea Char... Charli, I know nothing about wine and who knows what I'll pick, why don't I give you some money and you get what you like."

She stood straight with a smirk on her face, "Why don't you just stop at Connor's Liquor and tell Neil you want a white wine for Charlotte Gibson, he'll know exactly what to sell you. See you at six, don't be late."

As she turned she swished her dress making it raise enough for a glimpse at the upper part of those gorgeous silk clad legs. Thankfully I was sitting or Millie would have seen my pants tighter than usual when she walked into my office with the end of day reports. She winked at me as she stepped back.

"Be careful Hu, I get the impression you're about to be lassoed, which might be a good thing at this juncture of your life."

I was staring at her like a cow at a new gate, no idea what the hell she was talking about.

Plunking her butt on the edge of my desk she took my chin in her hand, "Hubert, you've had shitty luck in the marriage department, no argument, but you can't shut out commitment forever because of things you had no control over. Give this lady a chance Hu, we've been friends forever, you know I would not purposely steer you in the wrong direction, let this lady love you. I don't mean just screw you, I mean love you."

Sliding off the desk she adjusted her skirt, "You do know she was wearing some damned expensive stockings, don't you? That chick knows her stuff, wouldn't surprise me a bit if she has a dresser full of slinky items meant to make a man hard."

It was my turn to make waves, "Is that what you have in your dresser, slinky lingerie for Bob?"

"You'll never know will you bubby. Only Bob gets to see under my skirts and I can tell you this much ... he likes what he sees. Night Hu, think about what I said."

Bubby, no one has called me that since grade school, I have no idea where it came from, one day it floated by about eye level and from that point on everyone called me Bubby. I suspected it was Mollie who made it up and pinned it on me, but she's always denied it. I stopped at Connors, told him what I wanted for whom and walked out with a thirty four dollar bottle of wine, what the hell ever happened to Boons Farm at three bucks a bottle? It didn't bother me, it just surprised me, not being a wine guy I had no idea what a bottle cost anymore, I picked up a single rose to go with the wine.

She must have been watching for me because she was standing in the doorway as I made my way up the walk, with something in both hands she took advantage of the situation circling her arms around my neck and planting a barn burner kiss on my lips. Stepping back, she whispered, "appetizer". With a skirt and button blouse on I was hoping the main meal might be my face between her legs dining at the Y.

Wine and SOS do not go together, she told me she'd have some wine later when I had a beer. Looking the bottle over she quipped, "Neil wants you to get lucky, I never buy wine this expensive, what I buy is usually around twenty bucks."

I couldn't resist, "So, will I get lucky?"

"That dear sir depends on what your definition of *lucky* is, if you mean will you get laid, the answer is no, not tonight. On the other hand, if you mean we can get to know each other more intimately without jumping into bed, then probably. Toast is ready, shall we indulge in our gourmet meal?"

We both guffawed at her comment, very few would ever consider SOS as anything but slop, yet we both liked it, therefore ... piss off. When we'd finished we devoured a few cookies each and the adjourned to her family room, I wasn't much in the mood for TV and neither was she, we decided a game of Scrabble might be fun. She whipped my ass, twice, the glee on her eyes was transparent, she was competitive and there was no mistake about it. I went to the head while she went to the kitchen for some adult beverages and a small bowl of Deluxe Mixed Nuts, no peanuts, another homerun in my book, this girl was scoring points right and left.

On the couch we exchanged small talk as she sipped her wine and I did the same with a cold beer, we talked about how long we'd been with OutdoorWear, she had been almost as long as me just in a different location about sixteen miles away. With that mischievous twinkle in her eye she raised an eyebrow at me.

"Do you wear a t-shirt under your outer shirt?"

"Not all the time, always with a dress shirt but not much with an every day shirt. Why?"

"Do you have one on now?" I shook my head no. "Will you open your shirt and scoot next to me, I enjoy running my hand across a hairy chest, makes me feel sort of randy."

With my left arm over her shoulder and her hand rubbing across my chest we sat silently, I wasn't at all used to a woman taking the lead and it apparently showed.

She turned my face toward hers, "Does that bother you Hu? I can stop if it does."

"On the contrary Charli, I like it, I'm not used to a woman doing something like that."

"Where does it say in the manual that the woman can't be the aggressor? If me being forward bothers you then I think this will be our last outing because when I'm feeling horny, I damned sure am not going to wait for a guy to make the first move?"

Man oh man oh man I liked this woman, I replied, "Nowhere does it say any such thing, I like the idea of not always having to initiate intimacy. Here's an idea, why don't we pretend I'm a lump of clay and you're the potter who's going to mold me into something."

She laughed, "You're a lump of something, I get your drift and I'll keep that in mind, for now I want you to kiss me and await further instructions."

It was my turn to lift one eyebrow, "There are further instructions?"

"Shut up and kiss me, if you're good I'll continue the countdown."

I smiled as I softly kissed her bright red lips, "And just what is it we're counting to?"

"A blastoff moron, did you come here to talk or make out?"

Our kissing was soft and without drama, we weren't even breathing heavy at that point, our Frenching wasn't frenzied or hurried, soft slow exploration of each other's tongues, with my hands around her waist and hers around my neck, she broke our kiss, leaned back and said.

"Open my blouse, if you don't know what to do after that you're in trouble."

Oh I knew, I knew very well what to do, as I unbuttoned her blouse slow and delicately she released her grip on my neck sitting back for me to slide it off, I no more than had it off her shoulders when she reached behind unclipped her bra and flung it over the back of the couch. After quickly taking off my shirt she pushed her chest into mine and moved her breasts side to side, with arms around my neck she cooed.

"I love feeling a hairy chest on my nipples, it makes them so damned hard, I think you need to worship them, don't you?"

With my hands on her breasts molding, shaping, tugging lightly on the nipples I maneuvered her back against the arm of the couch, breaking our kiss I lowered my lips to her left nipple, sucking softly at first then increasing suction as I switched between the two. She made soft noises and caressed my head as she moved my head from one to the other, the next move completely surprised me, grabbing my right hand she pulled her chest back to look at me.

"Hu, can you touch without playing?" I nodded. "Good, I want you to touch but not play. Alright?"

Moving my hand with hers under her skirt she slid it past the thigh highs and stopped with my hand on her mons, the heat radiating indicated to me she was hot to trot, moving my fingers between her legs she pulled my hand away an inch.

"No, don't play, just touch. I want you to know how turned on you make me, I love your soft sensual kisses and the way you caress my breasts with your lips, but I'm not ready to let you inside my panties just yet. Be patient with me Hu, the countdown is in progress and there will be a blastoff, I promise."

Moving my hand back in place against her steamy panty covered pussy I did as she asked, I let it rest on her mons softly rubbing side to side across the mons, I could feel the soft patch of down under the fabric and imagined how lovely it would be to split those tiny hairs covering her vulva with my tongue. Some guys like them bald, some guys like them natural or at least no more than trimmed, to each his own, as my dad was prone to say, *different strokes for different folks*. I preferred them au-natural.

As our evening drew to an end so did our make out session, she slipped her top back on and adjusted her skirt as we stood, reaching for her she slipped into my arms with ease, after kissing her softly I pulled back slightly.

"Tomorrow is Saturday, can we spend it together? I truly enjoy being with you."

"We can be together under one condition."

I was intrigued, "What might that condition be?"

"That you bring a change of clothes, stay for breakfast Sunday and don't leave until Sunday evening. Should you decide to do this, be prepared, I haven't been to bed with a man since I was widowed, and to be quite frank, I'm horny as hell for you. So, deal or no deal?"