All Comments on 'Immortal Ryne'

I loved it. It made me wet, but also made me cry.

It was also wewll put together. Only problem I saw was all the OMFG.

This was sensual, erotic, and very emotional. I liked your characters very much. Keep writing! I'd love to read the sequal.

I loved it, but the ending was so sad... Poor Ryne. It was well-written and I loved it. You know, a great thing about fantasy is that no one has to stay dead, if you thought of a sequel, maybe?

People don't talk in fricking abbreviations. I saw a couple 'u' and a hella lot of 'OMFG' which is annoying as fuck. Makes your story suck. And it was lame.. There was like, no plot. Meet. Sex. Blood. Sex. Dead. End. Explanations make for a better story than randomness.

Not only did you manage to create a thrilling, edge-of-your-seat story, but you pulled off an ending that breaks the heart of the reader. Such emotional and adrenaline-rushing writing deserves an award. Bravo!

Lots of grammatical errors, no plot, a little confusing, too short, not enough detail, and no one says omfg it sounds corny and annoying. But to be fair this story had a lot of potential and was sexy but it needed more detail and plot it was to jumpy a little rushed and confussing.

This is a promising idea ruined by so much clumsy writing. Ryne returns from studies in the UK and suddenly she's a vampire without knowing it and without apparent cause. Why? How? You write that Jenn "...descended down the stairs..." What else does "descended" mean except coming down? A couple of paragraphs before this, she had already "...glided down the stairs..." Did she go back up to "descend down"? These are just some examples of what is wrong with this story. I recommend that you get yourself a damned good editor.

If I could get a little more plot, maybe a whole series that explains this sad story. .it would be brilliant. .also no shorthand

Why no back story or fill in of what how and why