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All Comments on 'Impossible Threesome Dream'

by lyruv

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Epiphany_JonesEpiphany_Jonesabout 8 years ago
Putting aside the technical absurdities in this story, you simply don't write well enough to hold anyone's attention. You're boring.

Getting back to those technical absurdities, you started to really get on my nerves when, instead of using "quotations" for your dialog, you used -- short-hand. But fortunately, we were spared your shitty dialog...

- We were?

- He says so.

...when you changed the perspective and eliminated dialog completely, and returned to your boring, shitty narration.

AnonymousAnonymous8 months ago

Harsh Epiphany.

Anonymous
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