In Her Cousin's Footsteps Pt. 08

IN HER COUSIN'S FOOTSTEPS - Part Eight

"That night? You mean in the sorority?" Lacey sat up and reached for her yoga shorts as she asked.

"Yes, THAT night. The blackout... I know... Jesus, I know what happened."

Lacey wanted to ask but knew that she had to let Kristi process the new and probably traumatic revelation first.

They sat quietly as they dressed. The mood clearly passed.

"I can't blame them anymore. I need to figure out what to tell Cyndi, if anything," Kristi said, shaking her head.

"She'll probably hate me when she learns the truth. It's so strange. It's my fault that we didn't get in." She trailed off, again in thought.

Snapping out of it, she asked, "Want to run with me? Two or three laps around the field?" Kristi didn't wait for an answer. She fixed her t-shirt and adjusted her shorts before stepping out of the dugout and slowly jogging.

Lacey followed and caught up with her near the right field fence. They ran without speaking and Kristi picked up the pace, leaving her far behind. More than two laps later, Kristi nearly passed her before stepping back into the dugout, followed by Lacey several minutes later.

Both were winded, and they took a few minutes to catch their breath before Kristi finally said, "Sorry Lace. I needed that. Needed to burn off my frustration. It feels good sometimes to just go 'all out'."

Lacey didn't comment, not that she didn't want to. She literally couldn't after running the laps.

Kristi couldn't hold back anymore as she stared out at the desolate field. "All this time I was worried about some disgusting video surfacing. I just always imagined the worst, that we'd be 'outed' for something that happened during our blackouts."

She continued, with Lacey's full attention. "It all makes sense now -- all of it. The flashbacks, the confusion. It's like a strobe light -- my memory of it. Just snapshots, all kind of coming together." She hesitated. "If I tell you, promise you won't think less of me?"

Lacey tried to catch her breath, saying coarsely, "I promise. Of course I promise."

Kristi looked at her and debated whether to share, but knew that she had to tell someone.

"Remember the stuff I told you already, about the stupid juvenile hazing thing? The fake cocks in our shorts. The evil girls making us suck them when we were pledging? "

Lacey nodded, unsure where it was going from there.

"Until today, the last thing I could remember was having to decide which of the panties that they laid out on the dining room table belonged to them. They made us think that if we got them right we'd probably be 'in.' I remember feeling really dizzy, and both Cyndi and I went over to the dining room table to look at them. We were both giggling. I was thinking I could tell by the sizes, because -- well, you already saw Stacy. She probably weighs 120 pounds soaking wet, and Andrea was pretty big."

She hesitated, then continued. "They watched us for a few minutes. Then it got stranger. They got meaner. I remember seeing Andrea pushing Cyndi's face down hard into one pair of panties and the plate. I felt my adrenaline building. I remember someone - I guess it was Stacy - holding my hands behind my back and guiding me to each pair. Stacy told me to guess which were hers, and I couldn't. By that time I think Cyndi was passed out, so it was just me. "

Kristi sat quietly, trying to piece together details while Lacey rubbed her shoulders lightly. Finally, she continued. "I felt like I was out of my body and looking down through one of those distorted carnival mirrors at myself. Stacy said something threatening like, 'choose wisely, pledge. You're out if you don't. Want a hint?' "

"I remember saying yes, and even though I'm much stronger, she tugged me over to the couch. She was in a cute yellow top and a white jeans skirt. I remember earlier that night thinking that if she wasn't such a bitch that she was really kind of hot. She told me she'd give me something to compare them to. I watched her lay back and part her legs, almost the same position you were in on the bench earlier. She reached down and lifted her skirt, and I hate to say but I think I wanted to see her like that. I felt Andrea behind me, pushing me forward. I knew I was going to submit, and it kind of turned me on to be honest. I remember that she wasn't 'like us' down there. I mean, she was totally shaved, and I remember feeling my knees getting wobbly." She hesitated before asking, "Should I stop?"

Lacey shook her head sideways as she listened intently. Kristi thought before continuing quietly.

"Anyway, I knew - I mean I think I always knew - that I was curious about girls. I couldn't even say that they were forcing me at that point. I felt myself getting down on my knees and I kept looking between her legs. Sorry Lace, but it was my first chance to 'know.' The more I looked, the more I knew that I wanted to taste her there, even though she was a horrible person. Something took over me. I had no inhibitions by that point, and I knew that I needed to do it to get into the sorority. I didn't even have a chance to kiss her down there before I saw her looking over my shoulder at Andrea. I couldn't believe it. Andrea had her phone out, recording us."

"They were both laughing, and Stacy told Andrea to just make sure her face wasn't showing in the video. She reached for my hair and tried to pull me down between her legs. I think that's when I totally flipped out. I got up and I remember telling Andrea to give me her phone. It's still hazy, but I remember her smirking and saying something like, 'yeah right.' That's when I think I grabbed it and may have hit her. I'm not really clear but I know she fell backward."

She continued. "I tried to delete the videos while she kept trying to get the phone back. I pushed her down onto the floor and was trying to open the phone to get that little card thing out, but I couldn't. I panicked and ended up smashing it against the counter."

Kristi tried to remember more. "I think I threw one of the broken pieces at Andrea. I was so pissed and embarrassed. Stacy didn't know what to do, and I just remember hearing her saying, 'you're SO screwed -- so fucking screwed.' I remember crying and staggering to the bedroom."

She was quiet as if still trying to digest it all, before saying, "Your phone -- your phone brought it all out. I don't know what I hate more about myself, that I actually would have done stuff with Stacy, or that I felt like I wanted to hurt them - bad. Cyndi was looking stuff up after that and she thinks they might have given us ecstasy or something without us knowing it."

"Anyway, who could blame them for kicking us out after that? I would have if I was them."

"Kristi," Lacey said quietly, reaching for her hand, "They backed you into a corner. They're the ones that violated you, violated your privacy. They forced you to stand up to them. You can't blame yourself."

"I know. But I think what I hate most is that I would have, willingly, you know? If it wasn't for that phone, who knows what I would have done?"

"Kristi, I know we have only been together for a little more than a week, but I KNOW you. You're a good person. You're kind. You're patient. You're considerate. God, Kristi, you're so easy to ..."

She stopped herself, almost saying, "to fall in love with."

Kristi smiled and pressed her head against Lacey's shoulder. "Thanks Lace. You probably don't realize it, but you...you changed my life."

Lacey sat there, relishing the physical and emotional closeness. They remained in that position for several minutes, so far removed from the animal passion of earlier, yet somehow so much closer.

Kristi reluctantly lifted her head. "I guess we better get going."

Lacey nodded, and they packed up for the drive back.

"I guess we can start later tomorrow. Meet at 9:30, my place? We can hit the cages again. I think we still have like twenty tokens so it's not like we'll even need to flirt with Connie," Kristi smiled.

"Okay, but...can we come back here again afterward?"

Kristi bit her lip. "Okay, you twisted my arm!"

The next day was nearly a repeat, and both girls struggled to focus in the cage with thoughts of another private 'lesson' afterward. Connie -- a former first team All-American college player -- came out to the cage and watched. Although she clearly had an ulterior motive, she actually gave both of them some good pointers. By the last round Lacey was leveling off on most of the pitches, even increasing the speed to near-competitive levels.

With the final swing, they heard thunder nearby, so they quickly thanked Connie and reluctantly packed up, hurrying to the car just as the skies opened up.

"Sorry Lace. I guess our dugout visit will have to wait for another day. Wanna just meet at the high school field tomorrow? We can do some fielding there, then maybe find a spot after?"

Lacey nodded her head, disappointed but totally understanding.

The next two days were nearly carbon copies of that day weather-wise. They managed to get some fielding practice in under dark skies, but they were chased from the field with showers each day, leaving each of them longing for a physical outlet. Light making out in the car only served to fuel their desire for more, but each day ended the same way, with disappointment at the lack of heavier physical contact.

Texts devolved to sexts on their final night before their NC State trip, with the heat privately building between them as the weekend approached.

K: <Cant wait for NC State>

L: <ikr?>

K: <still thinking about the dugout>

L: <Sorry -- I don't remember lol>

K: <I'll remind u -- my tongue pressed against your ___ ; )>

L: <God -- stop! No on second thought -- DON'T stop lol>

K: <Next time I wont -- may even go lower>

L: <Lower??>

K: <mm.. yes -- think about it>

L: <??>

K: <Your cute butt, silly>

L: <omg -- is that a 'thing'?>

K: <if u want it 2b>

L: <guess I have lots to learn! CU soon>

K: <bye!>

Lacey plugged her phone in and lay down, teasing her tummy as she considered their texts. She thought of Kristi's perfect ass and for the first time in her naïve life, she wondered what it would be like to actually kiss it. Maybe even to kiss between Kristi's cheeks. It took mere seconds for that fantasy to bring her to a toe-curling climax before falling into a deep and satisfying sleep.

The next morning, Kristi packed, picking her favorite and sexiest panties and focusing far more on impressing Kristi than on possibly participating in their softball practices. She still took her gear along, but she almost wished that they could head directly to the apartment rather than to the field.

In the driver's seat, Kristi agonized over her earlier invitation to Jake. She either had to cancel for the second weekend in a row or break the news to Lacey. As they reached the halfway point, she decided to take a chance.

"Lace, um... Don't get mad okay? If you want me to cancel I can and I will, but I made plans for tonight with Jake. Sorry -- it was way before, you know -- us," she lied.

"Oh, I ...like - I knew you said last week that you might see him. My dad warned me not to smother you... I mean, would I be able to stay around in your place while you're out?" Lacey tried but struggled to be okay with it.

Kristi knew immediately that it was a bad idea to bring it up, but she also knew that she couldn't blow Jake off for the second weekend in a row.

"I'll just text him, Lace. It's not fair to you," she said as they pulled into the stadium parking lot.

"No, don't. I'm a big girl, really. It's okay."

"Are you sure, Lace? I mean, it's not like anything will happen. He's more of a friend," she said, already regretting telling yet another lie.

"Okay, it's settled. Maybe I'll stay at your place and watch that movie again. What was it called? 'Better than Chocolate?' "

"God Lace. You better not watch that alone! That's our movie!" She reached to squeeze Lacey's hand as she said it.

"Okay, I'll be up at my spot. Good luck with your practice," Lacey said, squeezing her cousin's hand and trying not to show her disappointment as Kristi grabbed her equipment.

She climbed to her area above the first base dugout and looked up to see a familiar face nearly where she sat the week before.

"Madison?" Lacey looked down at the field, then back at her. "Aren't you supposed to be down there?"

Maddy stretched her legs over the top of the seat in front of her and forced a smile. "I'm... I'm not on the team anymore. It's okay. I'm not mentally in a place to concentrate, and it's not like I had any chance of making the team anyway. I quit this morning."

"Oh, um...I'm sorry, Madison. Well, at least the rain is finally gone. It's a good day to sunbathe and watch, right?" She looked up at the sky as she commented.

"It's Maddy. Lacey, right?"

Lacey nodded, wondering if she should find another spot to watch the practice. Her question was answered when Maddy moved her gear to the other side, offering up the seat next to her.

"Sorry if I took your spot," she said politely. "This is perfect, near the sun and the shade."

Lacey looked around at the near-empty stadium. "Um, no. It's okay. I think I can squeeze in, if you don't mind," she kidded, not necessarily wanting to chat with Maddy, but not wanting to be rude either.

They each sat quietly, although Madison spent more time staring at her phone than watching the field. Lacey was torn between bringing up the overheard conversation and letting it go. Finally, she couldn't hold back.

"Have you heard from Carmen at all?"

"Um, yeah a few times. She hasn't changed her mind from what I can tell."

She hated to ask, but felt compelled to. "Are you...okay? I know it's hard to lose a good friend."

"I don't really have a choice. I mean, it's not like I can transfer for my last year. I only need like 48 credits to graduate."

"Well, if you...want to hang out," she stopped, wondering why she was even offering.

"Really? Lacey, I don't want to impose, but if you don't mind, I could really use a sympathetic friend," she said before glancing out toward Stacy. "God knows the 'queen' wouldn't lower herself to my level. And she would never understand what I'm going through..."

Lacey laughed at the comment, then decided to ask. "You seem so nice. I wouldn't worry about Stacy. You're much different than her," then she added jokingly. "Almost, well...human!"

Maddy nudged her when she said that, "Hey! But you're right. I guess I deserved that. I can't believe I wasted so much time sucking up to her. And for what?"

She continued, "You wouldn't believe what the 'queen' said this morning when I told her I was quitting. She just said she would have to find someone else to carry her equipment bag. What a ..." She stopped just short of saying the 'C' word.

"Well, people like that usually get what's coming to them. But...I have to ask you something. I have a confession to make. Last Friday, I accidentally overheard you and her talking about Kristi in the restroom."

She couldn't believe how bold she had become, but was proud of herself for mentioning it. She waited for a response.

"Oh, shit. That was...you? I'm really sorry. Stacy has had it out for Kristi for a long time. She hates that she's the best player and I think it goes back to their freshman year to be honest. I shouldn't have taken her side. I'm sorry."

"I get it. She seems like someone who always gets her way." She had to ask, "Do you think there's any truth to that rumor? I mean about videos? That would suck."

Maddy thought for a few seconds. "I don't know. I mean, if there were videos they probably would have come out by now. Kristi is so popular I'm not even sure anything would have come of it anyway."

Lacey thought about what Kristi shared earlier and her mind drifted. For a few seconds she imagined herself in that position, kneeling between Stacy's legs and being forced to kiss her there. Despite her disgust with Stacy, she felt a warmth building and quickly pushed the vision from her mind.

They both stretched out in the bleachers under the sun and watched the team go through the basic infield and outfield drills.

Maddy said, "I didn't realize how boring this stuff could be. It was bad enough actually practicing. Watching is torture!"

"I don't mind. I kind of enjoy it to be honest. It's fun to see really good players. I'd rather be playing though."

"Well, if you have your glove we could play catch," Maddy said. "That is, if you want to."

"Really? Yeah, I wouldn't mind. Where, like in the lot?"

Maddy motioned to another field in the distance. "We could go there. That way my bad throws probably won't damage anything," she smiled.

"Um, okay. Do you want to go now?"

Maddy didn't answer. Instead she just grabbed her gear and started down the steps toward the exit, with Lacey following. In the field, Kristi misplayed a ball as she watched the two leaving the stadium out of the corner of her eye. On the way through the lot, Lacey reached into the Miata and grabbed her baseball glove before she and Maddy headed over to the other field.

"So, you and Kristi seem to really get along..." Maddy commented, and Lacey assumed that she was fishing for information.

"Yeah, I guess. She's great. I mean, she's training me on basketball and softball for my senior year."

"You're a senior? I don't remember seeing you around here before."

"Oh, sorry no. High school. I um.. Long story but I'll be nineteen in a few months."

"Oh wow, I thought you were a student here. So how do you know Kristi?"

Lacey was careful not to provide too much information. "She's a local legend at the school that I go to. She trains some of the athletes in the summer."

"Oh nice. It's nice that she lets you come along with her to State."

"Here we are. Should we stretch or run before we throw?" Lacey asked, ignoring the comment.

"I guess we could run a lap if you want," Maddy said as she dropped her gear and started a slow jog alongside of Lacey. Figuring that turnabout is fair play, Lacey asked, "Do you think you'll visit Carmen out there? I heard Arizona is really pretty."

"I don't know. I mean, she said something about coming out sometime but...it might be better to just move on and find a new friend. Long distance friendships are too hard."

They ran quietly, with neither wanting to be the one to broach the sexuality subject. Lacey took a chance, saying, "Carmen is a really cute girl from the pictures I saw."

"Yeah, I guess."

"God, her eyes. They just make you melt, at least from the pictures I saw."

Maddy suddenly stopped running and looked at Lacey. "What the fuck, Lacey?"

"Sorry. I was just, I guess, making conversation. I didn't mean to..." Lacey said, suddenly ashamed.

Maddy dropped down onto the grass in the outfield, sniffling. Lacey sat down next to her, cross-legged.

Maddy finally confessed. "She is...well, was...my 'person.' I never, like, told anyone that. God, all I need is for Stacy to know. "She looked down and nervously pulled blades of grass as she spoke.

Lacey said quietly, "I know. I'm really sorry, Maddy. It's not easy, admitting feelings, especially for..." She stopped short of saying 'another girl.'

She took a deep breath and continued. "Kristi has a date tonight. With a guy, so..."

"Wow, so your weekend is going as bad as mine," Maddy smiled, sniffling.

"I guess. I don't know what to think, really. This stuff is all new to me. These...feelings. I'm like, trying not to be jealous but it's hard not to be. Like, she said they're just friends, so...I don't know."

Maddy stretched her long legs on the grass and held herself up with her arms stretched, hands on the dewy grass behind her. Lacey caught her gaze following Maddy's legs and mentally comparing them to Kristi's. They were not nearly as muscular, but still they stirred something in Lacey.