All Comments on 'In Other Words'

That was the set up, now the rest of the story.

Well that was one way to handle her bullshit. No talking, no pleas - just straight to a divorce. I guess 750-word does have its limits.

Same old poor excuse for learning who or what we are. Total BS of a story.

The one issue with 750 word entries is that the ending are so abrupt.

Like it but should be longer, unless you are writing another chapter or 2. AA+++

Lucky you have a dog to comfort you!

5

Yeh 750 word crap is just that crap! It’s a very very few writers who can actually put any meaning into a 750 word story…

Rest all just try to fit is some half backed MASH to make one!!! This too was the same

I'm not sure if any of these '750' word stories in the LW category are better than 1 or 2 stars. IMHO.

That's it?

Trying your hand at 750. Didn't succeed. This is a scene, not a story.

Kick the cunt to the curb and free yourself from her.

WAAYYY TOOOOO SHORT

Please another chapter

Yeah short I know 750 words and all but this could have lead into a proper story it had the starts of it all the way up to the end of the 750 words most rarely are able to start a good story and it ends up terrible but this could have been more, but now it's been used its worthless for later

I understand why the story had to be so short but, with his attitude towards her, the details and the long version could have been interesting.

Spineless

Working within a 750-word limit requires that every word count. In this case, many of the paragraphs seemed extraneous, with the core paragraphs packed at the abrupt end.

Another good story cut shot in the name of the dumb 750 word project.

would have been 2*, because it was barley the start of a story. It wasn't a cuck or swinging story, so +1*

Dan’s reaction to Amy’s BS was hasty, but probably the correct response! At least he still has Max and his truck! Five stars ⭐️ for this one.

meh

I've heard it said; "Every relationship comes with a built-in expiration date". In this case, it's the distinct smell of "bullshit" that announces the expiration of the relationship.

On the one hand, I should be glad this isn’t straight up BTB horseshit. On the other, it was only a 750er and you still felt the need to pad it out with meaningless crap.

This was a 750 word intro to a story but there is no story.

Like it. No love lost. At least on her part.

5 Stars to the writer, Good Writing, Good Story. Good ending too. 750 is not bad at all! Thank for the effort!

this could have been a good story, that's why I hate short stories they are not even stories just a couple paragraphs.....FTDS

My only criticism is that he flipped the switch too fast. There was no shock and no anger. Then the remark about the sociology professor either means he suspected something or he was inventing an example. There is too much behind the story that isn't explained. However, his response did save him a lot of frustration down the road.

In 750 you set the scene, defined the character, introduced and resolved the conflict, plus walked and fed Max, da dog! Bravo! Many have said it would make a good full length story, and maybe so. However there is no doubt where the characters came from, where they are or where they are going, so I vote “let it rest” as an awesome 750 word snapshot. Thanks for writing.

longer would have been more fun

A really good 750 word story but it could have been a GREAT flash story with just a few more paragraphs. Thanks

Some stories are short, some are longer. You other 750 word one, while I didn't like him sitting on a pile of refuse in the bar, it fitted into the 750 words.

This not only could be DRAGGED (note, not drug*) it NEEDS to be dragged out. More in the lead up, were there any signs? What happened after he went up to pack his truck, did she argue or just let him. What happened in the days and weeks that followed? Was the phone call to his brother just to let him know or was it the start of a plan? The is so much more to tell.

*A drug is any chemical substance that causes a change in an organism's physiology or psychology when consumed. It is not the past tense of 'to drag'. A pet peeve of mine along with using 'could care less' when it should be 'couldn't care less'.

Another useless 750 wordy thing.

I feel the story said it all. No need to add more to it.

I agree with the other comments that this deserved a longer story. However, I think you did a fairly good job of nailing the essentials. Unfortunately, too many of the longer stories achieve that by having the husband turn into a waffling wimp who lets her go on her quest for STDs before making a decision on whether or not he wants to keep his balls or spend years collecting evidence of her affairs when adultery isn't even allowed as a cause on the divorce petition. It was kind of refreshing to see a husband recognize that he was married to shit and have the dignity to just walk away.

Why is he leaving? She can go stay with the professor. Throw her crap out on the lawn and tell her to call her boyfriend to come get it and her. Tick Tock.

When will some 750 writer(s) create a new trend, i.e. 750 Part 2, 750 Part 3, etc? There have been a few really good 'suck 'em in' 750's in LW that really need a Part 2/3/4....

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Great potential but a lil to short....

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4.4****, Hooyah....

For a 750 word paper it’s not bad but in 750 words you have no development and your resolution is divorce. Can be a good tale but not in 750 words.

I know that its for a short story contest, but it is way too short to be good. You have a good start for a longer story.

waste of time. you could have done the same thing in one sentence.

"My wife wanted to cheat so i divorced her"

Done, and with just as much detail as your story.

Short, sweet, and to the point!

Doesn't work this short. Has real potential as a full story.

Agree, could be a longer form story, taking down this 'whatever feels good is okay and if you don't like it you suck' new age psychobabble. Most of the problem stems from the 750 format, it just can't be done that quickly with any satisfaction, and adding in a dog (perhaps for word count) ended up conveying even less information to the reader.

Not enough here to form any opinion.

Unless there is some reason you can't extend a 750 STORY YOU REALLY NEED end this one with a chapter 2. You got a winner here, but he fell down on the second turn. cd

To short

This one just doesn't work as a 750 word story. Too much left open ended and unexplained. Your other short today was a complete work. 4*

I do believe that 750 Word stories the reach above a 4.0 should be expanded to a full story line.

Just saying

Perfection

I personally hate these 750 word challenges! It's hard enough finding good stories in this category. Then you finally find one , like this one, and it's a 750 word one!!! I love a good story that you can make a coffee for, and sit back to sink your teeth into. This story is very well written, starts off super strong. Then dies a sudden death! PLEASE do a longer version! 750 words doesn't give any room for character development or story body. Saying that, it must be super hard to write one with those restrictions!

"I groaned and asked, "How come he's only MY dog when he needs to get fed or go out?" I got no reply, so I drug my sorry ass out of bed and padded into the bathroom." Maybe the wife wants a man who understands the answers are at least as important as the questions? You know, a guy with a brain?

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"Cautiously, head tilted to the side, I asked, "is there something wrong? Did I do something?" Now we understand why the wife is going for some strange cock. She wants to experience sex with a Man for a change. We can already hear the whimper in his voice. Why do you think they are called "whimps"?

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Sorry, just weak and pathetic. I wonder how he'll react when he finds Max has run away to live with Amy and the professor. Maybe the professor will explain to the poltroon how dogs mark their territory. Its obvious this cuck has no idea how to assert his dominion over his life and territory. Neither Amy nor the professor fear or respect this cuck, and who's fault is that? This marriage started to fail the day this cuck started thinking with his dick and his heart. Serves him right. Maybe his ex wife and the professor can at least leave this miserable dumb ass a little smarter in choosing women and in being a man. Thanks for the effort.

Not a 750 sorry

Perfect. The proper response!!!

Great start with the 750 word limitation. The setup begs for more.

Agree. There are more than a few 4*-5* 750s but one common aspect is that all have an ending that ties up EVERY issue presented in the earlier part of the narrative. In some cases, that means only one character has any degrees of freedom left and the solution is perfect or obvious. In others, there are more (but rarely many) characters that the resolution offered covers them all.

Not a viable subject for a 750 word project.

I know it's fiction, but he's fortunate he's leaving the whore before that professor peed in the hole she pees out of. Both the whore and her master should be taught a lesson, and not gently, either...

Agree with everyone else, this story is far to short to be regarded as a story of any kind, so 2* for making so little effort.

This story started great and then being forced into the 750 word format made it seem "uncompleted"..

Whole lot of blanks. However, it is what it is and 99.9% likely hood she already crossed the line. A bit more about that crossing and a bit less about the dog would have been stronger.

750 word 4 stars.

Now for the rest of the story. That was too short,you can make a long story now .

Very good, but I too would have liked this on to be bit longer.

You left us hanging. He just leaves and that's the end of it?

Sometimes, a 750word story's just the right length. Other times, things are rushed or left out in this short story. On this story, this's the fact. A bit larger story with more explanation & history would've made this a better story. 2 stars Bob

Bye dumb bitch!

Too much about the dog, not enough about the people. 2*.

Loved how he packed up and left her ass. Sure it hurts, but once they decide to cheat don't mince words with her, just leave. Five stars.

straight and to the point

Quick! Good story.

750 words were definitely not enough here.

A good start but like others have said we need to know what happened next.

I found it to be a good short story, but agree w/ others that voice that the dog details were not necesary to moving forward a 750 word story. The dog details would have added flavor to a longer story. However, for one this short, where everything should count, that was a distraction. Still gave it 4 stars.

The story could have been a little interesting if we got to witness the stupid wife's suffering.

Not much more than the first page of a story draft that might be a good story once it gets fleshed out. 2-stars. Try finishing your story. Very few 750-word stories are anything but the outline for a story.

A man of ACTION. obviously she DID NOT KNOW HIM even after 7 years of marriage

Nice! No simp here. Perfect for a 750 word story.

This could've been an interesting story, but the word limit ruined it. Too much left out. No real discussion about the "request", nothing about the wife's reaction. Did she continue or not? Liked that hubby didn't put up with her BS, but still.... 2 stars Bob

God, how i fucking hate these 750 word stories.

This is the first LW story I've ever attempted to read. Unlike many others, I don't wish this was longer. I think it's just fine the way you've written it. It captures RL with all its ups and downs. You've done a great job on the challenge. I trust you'll keep writing. You have a talent for sharing emotions. Thanks for the read. Keep writing.

To my fellow anonymous commenter who 'fucking hates 750 word stories', may I ask what you're doing reading them?

There's one or two... million... others you could pick. Looking in the mirror before you dump your attitude on others.

... It's one of those flashes that, although direct enough, would have probably found more benefits in being developed some more.

Something - hell, most time - you need more than 750 words to write a compelling story.

But, for what it is... not bad.

I gave this 3 stars for the attempt. Most 750word stories get caught short, leaving out a lot of information. Just a few I've read get the thing done. Nothing against the author & the attempt, but in this case, there's info & even dialogue missing. However, overall, a decent mini story Bob

“Do the same?! But, I don’t have a truck!”

got to like it..you write this like it would really go down if this scenario actually did happen..will check out some or all of your other tales to see if they are down to earth as this one and entertaining .I liked the fact you portrayed the husband with insight and action instead of an air head unaware of what happens around him....JZK

Decent for a 750 word attempt. But the story lacks some depth, taken up by the needs of the dog. The wife & her boyfriend (assuming the hubby's correct) received nothing in terms of any retribution. Nothing about the wife's feelings or talking concerning a divorce. I'm aware this amount of word usage is hard to write for, but at least a little could be thrown in to make the story more complete. For the attempt, 3 stars.

I love the New Age mumbo-jumbo the wife tries on for size.

Good response from MC.

Short and sweet!

Short and sweet! Four stars ⭐️ for this one.

Thanks for your writing.

YES!

this really needs to have so much more to it!! it was a good effort though.

Short sweet but not conclusive. You can do better.

I absolutely love these Drive-Bye-Stories! Someone is always getting hit. 👍

This needed a righteous burning to be complete.

Ooooootay....🙉🙈🙊

A good setup but likely needs more. We see he's moved on but it lacks the closure or her reaction. If she's that easily swayed she likely wanted to do it anyway so no raac!

Definitely needs more. Need to see how this all plays out.

Way too incomplete. What happens next?

Again what the heck is the upside of the ultimatum to either the wife or her cheating partner, in this case the sociology professor. Story is unfinished, although was intended as 750 words.

Where's the rest of the story

The story guides the reader towards the assumptions that let you know the likely outcome of the story.