All Comments on 'In Our Bones'

Sad. Very powerful story. Thanks for sharing.

Brought tears to my eyes. Such a *deep* characterization of Juno. "Well done" is just utterly inadequate.

Thank you for writing this story of lives. Very very special.

Imperfect characters and a love that was doomed from the start. Superbly written and intimately plotted with beautiful descriptions of the clandestine relationships. The urge to do something you know is wrong that comes over and over again was well described. All the character interactions seemed believable and worked. Even the minor characters like Jamie shone through.

A masterclass in character development and descriptive writing.

I must be a terrible person but I'd love to read a sequel to this where Booker and Juno are married and she's banging Jamie behind Booker's back.

I say that because Booker sucks. He's banging her when his wife is pregnant, he makes Juno a bunch of promises that he can't keep until he destroys his own marriage in the process yet in the end he gets it all, both his sons and sex with all the women. He actually deserves one of these LW strange car in the driveway stories.

Wonderfully written, I was pretty fully involved throughout I just think we had three fools who never really fully took on responsibility for their actions starting out in High School. I think Avalanche might have been a better title as the problems that weren't dealt with early on in their lives just snowballed bigger and bigger until Kansas made the last sacrifice. But great stuff, like I said I would love to see these two move on into their empty nest period and see what happens down the road.

You made me cry.

That is what I love about this site - come looking for a bit of cheap entertainment and find something that grabs me, makes me cry, makes me think, and makes me want to be a better person.

Your writing is amazing, I felt so connected and evoked, what a gift. Thank-you so much.

Your story made me cry.

Your story made me cry. Thanks

... of praise for this one. I read the first third a while ago, which was so powerful that it took me a while to go back to the well for more. Your images are so powerful, your characters so believable they're like family, and your plots so forthright, that it's almost too heady a drink to dabble in too often without losing your senses. But when you do, it's a glorious way to feel - wonderfully drunk on romantic overload.

Thank you ma'am. 5*

I have to say I've read a lot of stories here and I can't think of one that caused me to have so many highs and lows I almost skipped over it because I was reading the stories written by Just_Words and I new it would take me a while. Something caused me to read the first couple pages and I new I would finish it. Now I have to read Nora's submissions to see if they are as good as this one. No suggestions just Thank You!

Thank you for taking the time to write this story. It took me a little to get going with it, but I am SO glad I did. You mixed just about everything in there to make it a story worth reading. I'm not sure if you researched or have been a part of the Honor Walk, but dang you hit the emotions dead on. I have fortunately/unfortunately been a part of it and was reading that part through watery eyes. Your line, "Mom said I would get my heart from an angel, I'm just glad I got to meet her".........perfection!

Thank you again........DoW

Left me speechless and in tears.

Thank you.

I found this story very moving and simply couldn’t put it down until I finished it. The main characters were fully fleshed out, and the plot was well conceived and articulated. I’ve read thousands of stories on Literotica over the years, and I estimate that on average I have to read about 100 or 150 stories for every story of this caliber I encounter. And considering that I rarely read ANY story with a score below 4.25, this is very strong praise indeed. Thank you for writing it and enriching the lives of your readers!

but lack of communication or miscommunication is a lazy plot device. For failure to express their feelings for each other two lovers lived in misery and eventually isolation, for years. Its tragic, but its also pathetic. Why the fuck did Booker marry Kansas if he really wanted Juno? Why was he even dating Kansas? That relationship was so contrived that it made the plot silly. And Juno is this outspoken dynamo and self possessed woman, who can't tell the man she loves that she loves him? Boohoo, losers lose.

It was all a bit thick and syrupy for me, with so many pointless and tedious side plots and relationships that I wondered if you are somehow being paid by the word. Whatever, you earned it. Own it.

Very emotional and heart wrenching, like Love Story, the movie. Look it up.

Thanks for the effort.

It was not what I was searching for... But it turned out to be the best I have read in a long, LONG time!

Heart breaking, but wonderful. Not my usual type of story, but it was the best I have ever read, thank you

So well written. I want to say thank you. You made my day, or actually two of them. That's means quite a bit in these lockdown times (i live in Germany).

This is a beautiful story. And as someone who lives there, it's clear that you're familiar with North OC; extra points for your accuracy.

Predictable outcome but still a powerful tale!

Absolutely wonderful. It was heartwrenching at times and left me wanting to hug the ones I love a little tighter. This is maybe the most well-written story on this site.

Kudos

Outstanding.I suspected a death as I read the wedding scenes and shortly afterward. As children entered, my.suspicion faded, couldn’t tell where it was headed. The consistent tone throughout, was how the writing expressed Juno’s emotions - that depth really made the story work.

Wonderful......

Larger than life

A great saga of endless love..... Love, not the romance, lust or affair

But the love of 3 children and their eternal friendship

This is not a lust, betrayal or some short of btb tale... So why in LW category

Classify this as Romance or best is novel category

Rated highest (5*****)

Thanks for sharing this heart touching tale

This story is the first of your work for me: Mesmerizing, painful, poignant and highly erotic. I have now read your other pieces posted here and visited your website - you are a remarkably fine writer and storyteller. Of course, you know that as other comments/feedback confirms, but never hurts to hear it again. Thanks for sharing your talent and your vivid imagination.

Nora,

I stumbled upon some of your other stories, and I’ve been hooked. I love your writing, your writing styles and how you bring your characters to life. This one made me laugh and made me cry...which usually doesn’t happen from Lit stories. If I had to nitpick, I’d say that Kansas dying from cancer is a trope well overdone. However, I love being absorbed in your stories. Please keep writing.

Can’t stop crying. Good job.

I see Overcritical gave you 5*. Congrats. A rare score from him. Unfortunately he can’t let it go without snide remarks.

I propose all authors delete his comments, good or bad, to take away his sick and twisted soapbox.

Hey just wanted to say really good story and will be checking out your other work. I do have some critiques but want to make it clear that the only reason I care enough to post them is because of how invested I felt in your story.

To be honest I really thought the ending rang a bit hollow. Like, I’m not opposed to you going the bittersweet route, but it all felt a bit rushed and dare I say it... contrived? The story ends by claiming that Kansas was the heroine, but she was basically a completely minor character from her wedding onwards. I feel like for such a dark ending to work it sort of has to feel earned I guess? But it just sort of felt like it fizzled out a bit which is a shame because there were really good foundations.

It just sort of felt like the story lost a bit of cohesion between the first act and the rest. All this time is spent introducing Jamie but his character never really goes anywhere. He feels really symbolic of the issues I had with second half in general to be honest. I thought you initially did a really good job of introducing him as a foil to Booker, but the problem is, he sort ends up completely outshining Booker for me.

When Juno and he first break up I assumed he was just a minor character, but then he gets brought back and it feels like he’s going to be important. He offers to help her financially with theo, but she refuses and then asks for bookers help instead. I feel like moral was supposed to be that Booker is the one who actually steps up, but really it just feels like she’s ruining all of their lives and forcing Kansas to pay for it when Jamie already offered??

Then there’s the fact that Jamie is more of a father to Theo than Booker but sort of just ends up being portrayed as a creepy uncle? Like when Booker dislikes Jamie it feels like foreshadowing, which I kinda liked how it wasn’t quite that simple, but still ended up with Jamie just being the better man throughout. It turns out the only reason Booker doesn’t like Jamie is because he’s jealous, even though Booker is the one cheating on his wife, and sleeping with Juno behind Jamie’s back. Jamie not only completely forgives all this, but offers to pay for Theo’s treatment and ends up being more of a presence in this kids life than it’s actual father. But he’s sort of characterised as a slightly immature skeevy loveable loser by the end in comparison to noble brooding booker. And it just makes Booker seem... Worse? Like I think either something else had to happen with his character, or instead of reintroducing him all the time the story could’ve focused more on Kansas to make her ending feel more poignant?

Anyway like I said, the only reason I’m overthink all this when I should be working is because you made me care about these characters. So definitely don’t stop writing, and I hope something in all my rambling might be helpful feedback lol.

Absolutely, truly wonderful. Thank you!

The Cost of Love

Hm...I don't exactly know where to start on this one. I'll start with what sticks out in my mind first.

Superb ending, especially how you tied it back into your title. That conclusion hit us square in the gut--and reminds us what a perfect title you managed to pick for this piece.

Kansas’ call from the hospice, while heartbreaking, finally provided the catharsis the three needed to move forward. By that point, no one disputed Juno and Booker needed to be together. Also great reality in the sense that sometimes only severe circumstances (in this case death) forces us to confront our fractured realities--to either begin to fix our faults--or to reconcile with what and with whom we are able to.

You capture emotions well, draw them, magnify them and sometimes distort them in such multifaceted ways that we really feel the character’s pain, for we as readers have probably made at least a few of those stupid choices too.

Wonderful way to tie in Westley Spenrath into this story (without involving Celine) so he could save Theo’s life by operating on him (after the crushing experience of losing Kaya when he did nothing wrong).

We as readers that have consumed some of your other offerings now know why there was seemingly no "comeuppance" in any of the other stories--it all showed up here! But then, is it really "comeuppance" or punishment? Turns out Juno knows there is a "hole" in her heart (a backhanded foreshadowing for sure) because of losing her dad, and tries to fill that with Kansas' and Booker's friendship. She knows for SURE she wants Booker when she gets that first kiss from him when he teaches her how to drive, but she believes it would be "cheating" on her best friend, when Booker was not off limits until he married Kansas. We then discover Kansas always knew Booker had the hots for Juno, but was too selfish to let him go (she admits this on her deathbed) and so Booker and Juno tried to secretly keep their illicit relationship going behind her back (right after Kansas is married and then found to be pregnant). Some kind of divine intervention castigates them? NO. They punish themselves by poor choices, lack of courage, unwillingness to face reality...whatever you wish to name. Juno punishes herself by drinking herself into a stupor (and hanging around Jaime, which really didn't teach her that) because she wanted to punish herself because she didn't feel she was worthy or just wanted to hurt herself for not following through with Booker (and keeping the illicit relationship going). Most definitely a love triangle: she conceives Theo, but he has a heart defect, which was repaired but then gets myocarditis and needs a transplant. He gets it, at the expense of other parents that didn't follow the doctor's advice, effectively killing their own daughter. Theodore embodies the illicit mix of Juno and Booker's union, even reflecting half of their very feelings by how he lives (extroverted and introverted). Booker isn’t really manly in the sense that he lets the females rule his existence; he himself states “the ball’s always been in your court” (said that to Juno), but he neither puts his foot down, nor lives up to his responsibilities unless Juno pushes him; she likewise is never strong like Booker asserts she is, because she drifts through life until she has Theo. However, even having him does not fill her void. Theo is used to “punish” Kansas, Juno and Booker because he effectively combines all their weaknesses with his life (his heart problem). Kansas was never brave enough to just cut Booker loose, always knowing he carried a torch for Juno; Juno lacked the courage to tell Kansas that she wanted Booker. The story really just aggregates all the bad or outright stupid choices of the characters and pile that onto Theo needing a new heart, which is both the thing that splits them up, but finally draws everything to a head to make them reconcile (although perhaps the reader can assume Kansas did suffer some kind of punishment from preventing the two people that would have been best suited for one another from joining. In the end, Booker and Juno unite, with Juno raising both Cade and Theo as if she had been Booker’s all along. It would appear to me you managed to cleverly tie in all these things to resolve what could have been an excessively divisive ending more of us may have expected.

I’m finding some patterns that perhaps you are partly unaware of, or perhaps you are consciously using:

Booker = Gabriel = Westley = Ahmed

Their eyes reflect the same kind of trouble, turmoil or mystery, but they are all the same. Very similar tousled hair, too. Both Booker and Gabriel don’t make the best choices, and fail in being decisive as men, giving their power to the women they desire in their respective stories; similarly, Westley and Ahmed are the two most assertive, driving the relationships, although no one would claim Ahmed isn’t the stronger of those two. All of them are all portrayed as some kind of thunder or storm, with Gabriel and Ahmed easily filling that categorization. However, all of the females are dysfunctional forces of nature in their own rights, not unlike unpredictable tornados that suddenly appear, either whipping up the wind or causing great damage in a short time.

Juno = Grace = Emma = Celine = Ellie

All of them lost their dads and have great trouble reconciling their thoughts and feelings, as well as having stable relationships because of that loss or from other personal demons. They all are too prone to shoot off their mouths irreverently at the minimum. All of them smoke to a greater or lesser degree. They all do things that make us sometimes want to tear our hair out because some of what they suffer they impose on themselves. Sometimes, it is overtly excessive, seemingly unreasonable. I know about the theory that it’s always best to make characters have issues to overcome, but also be aware of going to the well too much with the same issues. I wish I could tell you how to vary that, but I frankly don’t know except for you seeking advice from other authors. If readers start drawing parallels easily between stories, that could lose you some followers. I mention these things so that you can keep creating stories to continue to draw new readers in, while maintaining their interest. I want to see you continue to succeed.

Five stars. Picky comment: There is no University of California, Long Beach. Long Beach is part of the Cal State system.

I cried like a baby by the end of this, oh my god I cried. I love this, I really do.

Another lovely and sad story Nora, along with 'Head Above Water', one of your best. You do need to get a better word processor though, the las to chapters were very blurry, I could hardly read them.

I'm not crying... You are crying....

This was horrible. How could you put me through so much pain!!! I am an emotional wreck. Amazingly well written

This should be on a bookstore shelf somewhere not in Literotica.

How can someone make comments that are long as the story???

This was a very impressive story solidly written. This is one of those LW jewels you do want to end, you want to keep reading even with wet eyes.

/

6*, Hooyah, Salutes....

Huh... if Kansas really had wanted to get hold of Juno, it wouldn't have taken much...

Going to tell me Theo wasn't on Facebook for years...?

We already know Aspen was... I once easily found someone who I knew was the relative of a friend of a relative of mine...

Exceptional story. A little too predictable, but I shed a tear or two. The author has real writing talent. -4-

Thank you @Norafares, grief has a way of burning emotion out of us, and like fire it leaves us changed forever, not sure I’ve ever seen it worded so well as in this story. 5* of course.

Very touching and poignant.

5*.

Five stars. No, it's not enough. Sort of wish there was a resolution to this triangle possible without someone dying. You're seriously talented. Do something funny now!

The story could have been real. Loved it. Ordinarily I hate the cheaters, but hard to have bad feelings for anyone in your story.

I loved it, not many stories bring tears to your eyes, but this one certainly did.... The cheating you can't condone, but the story and the love all three of the primary players shared you can feel as you read the story!

Thanks for sharing!

So very very touching and poignant that I think I’ve gotten something in my eye. A well done five star effort ! Thanks for sharing.

Wow, great writing. The authors skill of pulling you in with great wordcraft is just short of magic. I loved how you portrayed her in such a paradoxical way. Just like in real life we have a way of being a contradiction. All through the story everyone loved her except herself, that was the true tragedy. Or was it that all the self sacrifice was a lie, and she was just a neurotic monster.

Another great story. Nora fares seems to have the ability to reach into my heart and squeeze it in the most beautiful way. This story hits at topics that need remediation. Nobody should have to go into debt over the cost of a transplant. With a truly fair system that didn’t let the rich or politically connected jump the line, we would have a fairer system. The characters in this story were well fleshed out. I didn’t catch any spelling errors. The story was entertaining and held my attention too far into the night when I should have been sleeping. On to the next one of these great stories. Tomorrow.

Ngl i cried..like ugly cried

What a depressing story, so much wasted time and pain, not my cup of tea.

Great story, well written and spell-binding! And thank you for highlighting an issue that in another comment is simply stated as "Nobody should have to go into debt over the cost of a transplant. With a truly fair system that didn’t let the rich or politically connected jump the line, we would have a fairer system" --- YES YES YES!

This needs to be fixed, in a LOT of countries in the world!

Very well written. Booker was a total arsehole. Weak and causing misery all round.

Fantastic story, your characters feel so real. 5 Stars.

WOW!!! Just WOW!!!. Not just Five Stars. Five Bright Gleaming Gold Diamond Encrusted Stars! Absolutely Great.

Great story. Would give more than 5 stars if I could. Great characters with significant flaws that I just could not help reading more about.

We’ll written. Kudos for a very well job done. 5 bright stars.

Wow! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

5* A bittersweet tale. Writing it from Juno's perspective works well and your style is so good that I know the other key characters through the prism of Juno's eyes. The angst, the tensions are described so well. I am not sure that there are any winners here - but I do hope that Cade and Theo do win once that gap of years in their friendship is restored. Thank you for posting it.

Amazing! Made a grown man cry.

Beautiful, bittersweet, tear jerker, I loved it.

Rare gems like this are what keep me searching Literotica. Oh how I wish I had your talent

Very special! Thank you.

Got me in the frickin feels man

"I give you my blessing," she said softly.

"Kansas... why?" I asked, shocked. Booker was stunned into silence.

"Because, Juno," Kansas said, giving me a watery smile, "It's always been you."

==== interesting to see things from the other perspective (here Juno). Complex three-way relationship. Booker loved Juno so completely that he let her push him off when he broke up with Kansas and later when he was ready to leave Kansas. Interesting to see the cheaters as humans. Flawed but intensely in love with one another but blocked from happiness from a best friend tha loved Juno deeply and selfishly loved Booker though she knew that he was not for her. Glad they got to see Kansas before she passed away. Surprised Kansas did not search for Juno earlier. Private eye? I can see why Booker did not despite being divorced. He worshiped Juno and would not break a promise to her, never wanting to hurt her. Glad to see fates interceded (Facebook!) and Kansas brought them together and gave them closure. Cade and Theo will be able to re-establish a relationship and Cade needs Juno's love. And Booker and Juno are meant to be. Like I said seeing it from their perspective despite all the pain and damage, they are both so broken without each other. Losing Kansas and those 5-6 years will haunt Juno and Booker will also feel guilt but he has had more time to process it since the divorce. But I like to think in the end they with the two boys will heal one another. They have many years left together. 5 stars.

Rarely does a story bring tears to my eyes, and I didn't expect this to do so, but I got drawn into it like I was experiencing those feelings myself. Incredibly well written.5*

Aw, that was heartbreaking and just... gorgeous.

This is one of those rare stories that calls for one more star beyond excellence.

The perfect story!

I'm torn. It's very very well written. But also, it ultimately rewards the shitty person whose fault it all is (ALL of it - including likely Theo's health problems stemming from her smoking and drinking). At the cost of the author deciding to kill off Kansas. It's like having Voldemort win. Yeah it makes for dramatic well written meaningful fanfiction, but it's awful and depressing.

I'm giving this 1 star, and hope the author turns their clearly considerable talent and skill to more positive endeavors next time.

Also, one thing makes me NOT believe the premise (that they two women loved each other so much) - if they did, they - including Kansas - would have been able to share Booker, and think of that idea instead of this whole drama happening.

This is a wonderful brilliant tragic story. I love the character development and growth and change.

I really enjoyed it.

Well written and emotionaly heart rendering story.

Complex, nuanced, and excellent. Just plain excellent. Keep writing. You have much to offer. As usual, the Putitana are overreacting in their zeal for perfection. There are no evil people in this story, only fundamentally decent, albeit flawed ones. In other words, human beings, rather than the self righteous turds like so many of theccommenters that utter the LW landscape.

Hey @inka2222. Thanks for the non-science scientific theory. Let us know when you graduate from Med school and get your cardiology fellowship. Till then, just shut up with your heart “that you read somewhere on the internet” diagnosis.

Will those of you straining to find something to be angry over just go away —perhaps to your own island far away where you can collectively howl at the moon. Ick.

Just amazing. One of the best stories I’ve read on this site.

The second read and as with the first, it reduced me to tears yet again. A beautiful story of love and betrayal and redemption.

I am wrung dry right now, I know this is in “LW” but in all fairness feels like a romance with a seriously bittersweet ending, it is a tour de force of emotional trauma and human weakness, just superb, thank you @NoraFares, for writing and submitting your work here.

As a long time Anon reader and subsequent member of Lit, I’m astounded at the pernicious, falsely moralistic and utterly vile people that pour scorn on somebody’s best efforts at writing, especially as the stories they read voluntarily are completely free and accessible to all, you all should have listened to your betters when they told you as children “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything”, also for all your high moral pov, you’re still here reading erotic fiction, with the rest of us.

Loved the story, really well written and very believable characters. God damn though, Juno is so incredibly selfish, to a near insufferable level. I had a hard time understanding why all these characters loved her so much, certainly why Booker would continuously torment himself and destroy his life for her. I mean she even denies Booker, Cade and Theo all the chance to grow together during very important years of their lives because Kansas was justifiably mad finding out she'd been betrayed? Booker was right when he told her the ball was only in her court. Everyone's lives in this story were held hostage by her selfishness. Is that the tragedy of this story or is Juno just an awful person?

Thank you.

Great. Well written story. Juno was by far the mostt tragic figure O have ever met in these stories. So strong and yet so weak. I have read 100’s of stories on this site. Some made me wish I could express myself as their writer , however none more than this one . Thanks for sharing your talent and tale.

Wow. Thank you. A profoundly moving story. Superbly written.

Well done. I was choked up in the end. Prefect mix of love erotica and real life characters

One of the best stories I’ve ever read, either on this site or anywhere.

Great story. Tragic that they didn’t figure out it was the three of them and work around societies expectations until too late.

What a beautiful story. I had tears in the end. Thank you for writing it.

You have such skill—you play our emotions like Yo Yo Ma plays the cello. You have great friends, too. Though it's an unattractive trait, I confess that I envy you, Ms. Fares. Please keep writing.

For the right audience, I am sure that this is a very well-written story, but unfortunately, I am not part of that audience. I won't rate the story for that reason. I stayed with it because I have read and liked some of your other submissions, but I struggled here because it was a bit too maudlin.

Oh, damn can't hold back the tears. Sad

but so well written. Hard to believe this was fiction. It was so heartfelt.

Great story! Congratulations on your talent!

Loved this story and was crying over it many times, but it has my suffering right now a bit easer to stand. Sorry it could not have had a happy ending but in one way it did I suppose.

Thank you.

It's a very sad story and very real. Well written and thought out. Maudlin, yes, but every story can't end happily with everything all wrapped up prettily. Life goes on and the story keeps unfolding.

Wow. That is a tough and visceral story. Great writer. Very sad.

It definitely had it's moments, but they were overwhelmed by slog between them. Trim it down to maybe half the current length and you'll have a much stronger story.

I don't know what category it would be best in, but I don't think this was the right choice. I'm not saying that it doesn't qualify for this category. I'm just saying this isn't the type of story that I'm looking for when I check Loving Wives for stories. I think a lot of people, even if they loved the story, would agree on that. On the flip side, a lot of folks that probably would enjoy this story will never read it because they avoid this category. Just something to think about...

This was my second read of this love/tragedy story. It still had me crying like a baby.

You are an extremely talented writer. Thank you for sharing.

G

I'm going too get a new Duster, my eyes are watering horribly. Nora, such a wonderful story, loved it. Five stars is not enough.

Horrible protagonists whose friends especially Kansas were like the beaten dog that still stays loyal to it's master after being abused.

Great stuff, had to read it again. Even better this time.

Powerful. One of the best I’ve read on this site. Emotional. Intense. Congratulations.

This is one of those few stories where I simply cannot comprehend how anyone - anyone - could give this fewer than 5*. I feel sorry for those few.

.

The "Honor Walk" scene (which I had no idea was a real thing) was perhaps the most moving writing I've read on this site. The who story is just a brilliant, brilliant effort, norafares, and left me at a loss for any further comment.

Great writer!

Wow, absolutely beautiful. Thank you again. I’m sure this won’t be the last time I’ll be thanking you for an emotional roller coaster of a ride.

Excellent! Reading this classic tragedy is such a pleasure. You are a truly great writer; your crafting of storylines around flawed characters is outstanding. Thank you for sharing you talent! 5 stars.

This may very well be the best thing I have ever read in my life, your ability to bring each moment in your characters lives to life in the details you give allowed me to feel and visualize those moments in time, you did not over do it you did it perfectly.

Garland Vance