by spraymecl
Pathetic...Desecrating a church alter? The previous commenters have been rather gentle. Honest, but gentle.
WHY do you think it is sexy to set this story in a church ? I thought the premise of the story gf/s/bf,b was good but lost my interest in all that crap about desecration of the church / beliefs .....Belittling several billion peoples beliefs is not Erotic in any form !!!
I realize this is your first attempt at writing about a subject that you fantisize about. You should probably keep reading incest stories because it is a subject that you have no realistic concept about.
The story was effective for a good, quick wank, but Ashley's transition from innocent virgin to drinking piss was more than a bit on the unrealistic side.