All Comments on 'In The Dragon's Keep Pt. 01'

Loved it. Can't wait for more. Favorited it!

Beowulf saga retold?

Hope she kills the dragon in the most agonising way possible.

For example:

"Freya found that she could move around freely about the room except outside it and there was a chamber pot by her.

She saw that she was in a bedroom. A royal bedroom. She was laying on a four poster bed with the posts carved into tree branches that stretched above her and red velvet curtains draped over them."

How would she know that she could move freely around the room if she's still laying on the bed? Perhaps you could instead say that she surmised that the length of the chain seemed long enough to allow her to move freely about in the room, or something along those lines.

Also, the whole 'royal' this and that gets to be tedious and seems to be used lazily. Royalty is a status, not directly a standard of appearance. Like in the example already mentioned above: what makes Freya believe that she is in a 'royal' bedroom? A more apt description would be she was in a room so luxuriously decorated/designed befitting that of a king/royal. Unless of course, the room had something specific that could only mean it was for a royal subject.

The writing is just a bit too simplistic to keep my attention but like the storyline, if you flesh it out more would be good

Love the story......you just need an editor, I think

Interesting story, well writen, and leaves me wanting more!