Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereJim returned her grin and replied "Good morning to you, m'girl."
Kim's eyes widened with the affectionate diminutive, as did her smile.
"Did you sleep well?" Jim inquired.
"Like a rock!" Kim replied gleefully.
Pulling her up and onto his chest, Jim tucked one arm behind his head and looked into Kim's deep brown eyes. "So! The question is...."
"Yes, Daddy?"
"Can I interest you in a cappuccino?"
====================================================================
What happened to the story? Looking at it now it ends when they bump into each other, with only 400 words.
Enoyed the story, gave it a 4, I'll follow you at least for awhile. Too many good writers here!
Thought the story line was great. If that is truly your first time writing in this genre I can’t wait for your next one. Thanks for sharing.
It's a good 1st story ... never mind that some people read it only to see the context errors first and the actual story second. You came ... you wrote ... I read ... I think you delivered. Thanks !
For a first attempt, that's outstanding!
Some wee points I noted:
She moved to stand in front of Jim, gently plucked the menu from Jim's hand [page one]
Possibly try 'gently plucked the menu from his hand'?
But enough to infer his almost carnal hunger for the beautiful woman in his arms. [page two]
'almost carnal'? If he doesn't have fully carnal hunger for her, aren't we all wasting our time here?
Jim's leaned over quickly, and ran his tongue the full length of Kim's cunt [page two]
Possibly 'Jim leaned over quickly'?
but mere minutes passed until their breathing returned to normal [page two]
Do you really mean 'mere minutes' here? Would 'many minutes', or just 'minutes', work better?