by XXNoraJeanXX
Highly erotic and a beautifully told story. If it was a relative other than my sister, I'd be all in.
Why can’t you rate higher then 5, absolutely sensational.
What is wrong with the ending, how else could it have ended, that is with a happy ending?
I thought the ending was silly. Back in the real world an abortion would have most certainly been in order. Also, the father's acceptance of the situation was extremely unrealistic. Finally the sibblings, anxious to prove they WERE victims, probably would have become extremely sexually active with just about everyone outside their family unit. However... The long term effects would have been interesting to explore, and the psychological treatments they would have received, IF the author had chosen to end the story with something that resembled reality! It would have made a part two and three fascinating reads. Anyway, that's just my opinion. It was basically well written, and an interesting concept, which felt ruined by the "happily ever after" schlock ending kthe author settled on.
I would probably have to do it in the dark or anonymously--at least the first time. Would probably enjoy it after that.
maybe some people could have sex with their brother or sister. I don`t
think I could get it up for my sister with out the use of drugs or booze.
and to much booze would kill the will to do anything. nice tale .
I had a similar story concept I mapped out where it's long term captivity of a brother and sister who are slowly broken down over the course of months to have sex to survive and slowly become lovers. I enjoyed reading this. My only critique is I thought the sex came to soon and to willingly. The first sex with each other should have been after more time and much more coercion. Still it was an enjoyable story.
Please link to me where this story is a repost from? I wrote this. If I have inadvertently copied someone else's work word for word, please show me where and I will absolutely remove it immediately. I don't doubt for a second that others have written stories with a similar concept, but I can assure you I sat and wrote every single word of this myself without attempting to plagiarize another writer.
In fact, I have had my work taken from this site and sold on Amazon. I wouldn't dream of doing anything like that to another writer that took the time to write and share. Thank you. I await your proof.
I really enjoyed the characters and the build up of this story. I have only commented on one other piece of work here on literotica.com and I felt compelled to make your story the second time.
This concept is amazing, and you started off so well. I slightly agreed with the other poster about the "punishments" or lack thereof. But what I really wanted to say was that you missed out on so many opportunities. The sex swing, the chair with the dildo, the toys, books and movies around the room were only mentioned in passing. Such a tease! They should have held off a bit longer, teased each other more with the 3 orgasms daily. Yes it is a long story compared to others here but it could be way longer in my opinion. Again you have an amazing base for a drawn out story. Huge opportunities for your characters to grow and expanded within this room their tormentor has given them. And of course I weep for the lost sexy times between Ryan and Leijia. :(
Thank you for the story you have given us here, but maybe think about revisiting it again and having a bit more fun with this story!
-A fan
While I thought the story was generally a good read I felt that the whole punishment thing was really poorly done. I applaud you for the premise of the story, two people locked away together forced to compromise their ethics and mores, that's a story worth telling. However having our main characters suck cocks as a punishment was a flimsy ploy to get oral sex on the table, and to bring in a homosexual context that could've been delivered in a decidedly more believable fashion. To get some one to give head, especially a staunch Hetro as you claim the brother is just won't happen because. The issue of refusal hasn't been effectively eliminated, it would still take a level of coercion that the author has failed to deliver. Now had you had the protagonists wake up with shock collars around their necks that were secured in place with small pad locks, then you'd have your driver. Seeing his sister writhing in pain on the floor at every refusal would motivate him for sure. As it was there was no real driver to give head. And a simple attempt for the sister to refuse to eat or drink and than receive a shock would strengthen the collars effectiveness.
So you lost one star for me and receive a four out of five. Do because I said doesn't work without some sort of buy in and you didn't deliver the buy in. Otherwise good story.
Great read. I was so engrossed in the story that I didn't notice the mistakes that others are talking about. Thank you for sharing
i loved the build up and slow change to the sib psychology... until the glory hole scene. i disliked it entirely and it felt jarring and out of place with the story. i assume the author has a thing for borderline cuckoldry, which is okay i guess but isn't my jam at all.
I did enjoy this story though finding the grammatical problems annoying. Please let your story sit for a few days and then proof read. I suggest you read each sentence as you write and see if there is a better way to say what you intend. Pay particular attention to tense and relative clauses. You have some talent - develop it.
You have every right to your opinion. I have not read the other story you speak of. I didn't feel this was likely a completely original concept, but it's my take on the overall concept.
This scenario has been used before with a mother and son on a tropical island. Honestly, it was done much better. More excitement and sexual passing.
Sorry.
I loved this story... I think the changes in the sibling's psychology is perfectly timed. Enough to recognize the processes their minds are taking but short enough to keep our interest until the end.
That said, I hope there is a sixth and seventh page. I am unsure what would antagonize the siblings or what way they would grow and raise their children... maybe the trial
Maybe the siblings have an older brother and the former business partner has a young eighteen year old daughter? Then events in the sibling's lives could filter in during a new story arc. As a young woman is desperate to believe her father is innocent?
Of course he is as guilty as sin, but emotion can make us choose to do stupid things.
This needs a bit of editing to smooth over some of the rough edges. That said, it did hold my interest.
I have shaved my brains. :D
Durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Well yes.. Storyline almost good and almost good is the idea.
But..
- Child.. Whether you too, have you shaved your brains??
Fan-friggin-tastic WOW just...wow. So very good. I mean WOW..xoxo Maliceon
I liked it all.....not really forced...but more edged toward inevitable....the concept was good....i have had ideas like this but never put them to paper....thanks for great story.
You said at the beginning that it was lengthy but while reading it, time seemed to fly by. Plausible, sure. Erotic, yes. A few problems here and there with wrong words or pronouns but none the less, enjoyable. Thanks for the great read.
5 stars.
Thank you for sharing this wonderful story. I really enjoyed reading your story and it wasn't to long, in my humble opinion.
RecHiker