All Comments on 'Indecent Proposal'

Nice take on the premise.

Hooked

Loved this!! How nice that they got a ton of money out of a jerk who probably could've eventually gotten what he wanted for free . . . if he hadn't been some messed up fool wanting to sleep with other men's wives!! Truly amusing twist!!!

Very nice twist!

5

Nice twist to an overworked trope. Good work.

Loved it

I wasn't sure but on reflection, I liked it. It was like a sting. Best of all theirs was a pure love. Well written so 4 stars.

A fun twist on the old trope. I actually feel a bit sorry for William and even more so for Yvette. Too bad Terry had to exit the stage so soon. This could be the premise for a screenplay in the tone of ‘La Cage aux Folles’, the original (not Hollywood) version. An enjoyable and whimsical surprise. Thanks much.

Cute

And then the author took his readers off a very high cliff.

5 stars for originality. Well written.

Be prepared to get criticisms from people who are scared of gay things.

Nice variation on the tale.

Enjoyed the story and the twist you added

This one earned the Outstanding Read ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating I gave it.

Ok to start off with I have to make a comment on MB fm UK’s comment. I thought it was a spiffy with some merit. But isn’t that what we want all tales to do. Led us off a cliff with enjoyment during the read.

I enjoy his (MB’s) tales. His and my comments are pretty close in most instances. But I guess he and I differ on what we want to say about this on. I will always look forward to both MB's and Jamesapple’s tales, they are both in my favorite authors list, because of their creative methods for how they put together their tales journeys, and will continue to be.

What I enjoyed most about this tale was the spiffiness in the flow and how it was tied with the flashback for background. The twist in the tale for Greg being gay was close to home for me. I have a nephew and his best friend who have lived together for 15 years (not married though). He is gay (not out publicly) and she is just his best friend. They have been since they meet in college. When I finished reading this tale, I had to send them the link. They both laughed and asked if I know anyone willing to give them 2 million.

So, while I have a very tough scoring on tales I consume, this one moved me through the enjoyment emotions enough to earn the Outstanding Read ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating.

I am looking forward to more tales in future. Thanks for this unique twist in an old storyline.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

Definitely original. Unlikely today, but more than 50 years ago, more common than we knew. Lots of hiding, and heartache, and shame. We have made so much social progress towards the ideal that all humanity is created equal in the eyes of God, and that has enabled us to accept the creativity and accomplishments that were once hidden. Thank God. Onward Christian Soldiers, let us continue to free the slaves from human oppression

😊 👍

nice switch up!

A nice twist on this story line.

Nice twist of that old trope. I liked it.

Now that was interesting. Loved it.m

In the wrong category

What a great story, so different from others I've read, and yet, you feel the love between them.

Original take. I liked it.

Well, Damn! A new twist to the cuckold story! I almost stopped reading in disgust when Greg "accepted" the boss' offer. I don't read Gay stories either, but this one 'fit'! Long story short, WELL DONE! A very enjoyable read with a great twist. Keep 'em coming.

Nicely done! Love is a beautiful thing.

Interesting take. I liked it.

Thanks.

Great twist! Something new.

Note of CAUTION to Readers - "Story does not have any tags" ALWAYS = K + rap.

This was NO exception!

Lovely twist on a common theme. Fine pacing, clever dialog. Nice work. Thank you.

Weird. I'm still trying to piece the characters together. And I have been told that I have too many characters in my stories. The Bear liked it, I think, but only 3 stars.

The BEAR

AND THEN I SAW THAT YOU WERE THE AUTHOR OF "NO"!! One of the Bear's all-time favorite stories. I read it periodically. It's still great. I'm not sure about your latest, but you are truly a great author. Thank you. As I say, keep writing, and I'll keep reading.

P.S. I heartily recommend "NO' to everyone. Thanks.

The BEAR

Different in a strange sort of way. Should satisfy those keyboard commandos who're always yelling about every story being the same sort of drivel. 4**** cd

That was so bad ...... It's totally unreadable and nobody has any idea what the fuck is happening

Wrong category. Wrong section. No tags. Wrong idea posting it here. no tag = 1

Excellent twist, I loved it

First thing - wrong category. You're just trolling the LW readers for views. Second - a man in Jefferson's position would have people that knew everything about the two of them and NEVER gotten caught in that kind of trap. Totally implausible, even for fiction. One star

Gays & transexuals? That section exists u know?

Not LW.

Why is this even in LW? All I can say is, "fuck off." Yeah, I can understand why some people might think it's interesting, but frankly, it doesn't fit this category at all and should either be moved elsewhere or deleted.

What would Robert Redford, Demi Moore and Woody Harrelson have done with a script like this? Actually funny on how the tide turned.

At heart a gay love story. The husband/wife relationship was a lie. If there was love between Greg and Carrie it was phileo not eros. Their marriage was a falsehood. Shadow. Mist. The real love interest was between two men. This fabrication of a marriage and their conspiracy to defraud was criminal. It was fraud. William was a Cad of the lowest kind to be sure. And they played him. It didn't make them noble.

Uhm.

Yeah, different.

But -- darn hard to emphatize with the MC.

3 star for being original and well written but...

I think it's in the wrong category.

Wrong category this is for gay craps

What UTTER CRAP!

Sorry - when visiting the loving wives category the last thing I want to experience is a story where the MC is gay

I like at least one of the main characters in these stories to have some integrity. So, 2 stars only

So the wife is a hooker and the husband a pimp.

Very enjoyable story.

Thanks 4*

That certainly took a dive in the dumpster, only took a couple of paragraphs.

Him being gay all of a sudden didn't sit well with me. It was just another heist story. Nice, but still meh.

Five stars, great story, believable on so many levels.

Highly entertaining

A nice twist to a much covered scenario, the Indecent Proposal. But even half a million, much less two million, is a massive stretch, just to get some woman for a weekend. So, a tad ridiculous. Even the idea of two people marrying when they both know in advance that one is "gay" and there will be no physical relationship, is a stretch.

I draw a blank …

Captcha

What a quirky, lovely story.

Could you be any more ridiculous?

I can't quite give it a 5, however great plot twist and we'll written. Very good work 👍

Wrong category

"He felt awful, destroying our marriage." - HA! Those predators don't give a shit about others. If they did, they could have any number of available women for much less.

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Nice twist.

The story offends on several levels, but primarily for the misleading category in which it is placed, which caused me to give it attention I would not have otherwise given. I'm not too surprised that the author has done this, though -- the "wife" in the story also wears her title somewhat fraudulently.

Write your story as you wish, but if you respect the reading choices of others, please place it into its proper category (which may not be obvious, but is surely not THIS one)!

Now that is a great story! 5 stars.

nice story with an unusual twist.

Keep up the good work

kind of cute but I would have loved to see them let William know he was taken and his reaction. @ million is peanuts to him but the fact he was taken would be priceless.

Fells like to wrong category.

Totally unique to me. Too bad the couldn't have gotten the arrogant asshole for at keast 5 million.

Very original, but somehow unsatisfying. This story should probably be in the Humor and Satire category. Its very ironic and a bit of a satire on the Indecent Proposal theme. That, or maybe the Science Fiction/Fantasy category, the plot is very unrealistic. In the end its just a variation on The Sting, but lacking the drama and excitement. It would have been more appropriate if they made this a shtick they conducted, traveling around the country and scamming rich wife stealing assholes.

\

But this was just kind of flat, and completely unbelievable. Yeah, definitely a Fantasy story. Thanks for the effort.

That was very strange. 1☆

Neither original nor imaginative but well written and easy to follow but a sow's ear will never be a silk purse!

Ell it certainly was a twist on an old theme. Well. written.

Was going relatively good (but too fast, do drama buildup) until it came to the time we learned that Greg's gay. Seriously? And she married him still?

After that, I'd a hard time keeping up with the story, which suddenly seemed to go from their past to present, But the whole idea of an indecent proposal to someone "married" to a gay man both turned me off from the story while making it absurd. 2 stars Bob

😝

What an absolutely crap story, what a waste of time for the reader and writer.

Loved it!

Dude, you're going to take a beating on this version.

Very nice touch in the middle. Nice to read a story that has a good ending for the ones involved with an indecent proposal/////

5 stars and just because the ASSHOLE rich guy got exactly what he deserved.

Although, WHERE ARE THE TAGS??????

While a bit of a unique twist, it was still stupid.

.

3 ***

Very nice story. 5 stars

Thanks for deciding not to put sex scenes in, especially with Terry. Loved the twist you gave this story where the moneybags is played.

Nice story, true love

Very confusing, it lost me after the first chapter

I really enjoyed this story! Nicely done.

Excellent, with lots of nuances. Even for such a short story, Five stars.

JPB NOT BOB

Ok, that was about the most believable scenario I may have ever seen. Nice.

That was a very interesting and entertaining take. Thank you.

Fucking stupid....... how do these folks dream up such stupid concepts for stories that completely idiotic??????

This really needs to be in the Sci-fi catagory. Not really a LW story because it is complete falsehood.

You had me until he revealed he was gay. Then I was all WTF! By the end, I was laughing and crying. Well done!

This version of the scenario is pragmatic but is well short of where Indecent Proposal aims. No one’s risks anything of real value to them. I

would like to see a version where hubby counter proposes “half”. Since his wife is his better half, he wants the billionaire to off “half” of himself. Billionaire can chose his health or his riches in exchange for the wife”. Only then would the field be level.

I had to hold my nose to give it 2 stars

Unexpected. Interesting.

This is a fucking stupid story that is in the wrong fucking category learn to tag your stories.

I was expecting to hate this, but the author pulled a fast twist and I wound up liking it a lot. Good story and thanks for sharing!

I liked this tale, 5 stars worth.

Although I've seen some other slightly similar tales on LW, especially in the "Indecent Proposal" trope, the twist in this one of a loving couple that was actually a 'beard' for the gay man was well done.

The bonus of the cash by the over-entitled rich guy added a nice touch.

Followed to see what else you have and will write.

Not what we expected. Being an old reading teacher, well, applying comprehension strategies did not work, here! Thanks for the story. It was worth 5*.

Weird. Still trying to understand the many characters. And people say I have a lot of names in my stories. I was going to give you 1, or even negative stars. THEN I realized you are the author of "NO". DUHHH!!! one of the greatest stories ever published on this site. My apologies, sir. Still, I only give it 3.7 stars, because, like I said, it's weird. But as I've said at other times, 'You keep writing. I'll keep reading.' Thanks.

The BEAR

It's certainly an interesting and new take on the 'indecent proposal' trope. This would probably score better in Romance or Gay, but it fits in LW as well. While it's not quite my cup of tea, it was decently enjoyable. 4*

Nice twist on an old trope. Thanks for posting this. Just what I needed while waiting at the airport for a delayed flight home. 5*

I am glad the rich pig was taken for all you could get!! Why anyone with everything, would be so taken with the one special thing that belongs to someone else, just baffles me. Glad you got your cake and kept Carrie too! Although, you should also have closed your eyes and rocked Yvette's world with your cock in her ass while you dreamed of Terry!

OK, that was original. Which is rare in LW. 5*****

Nice!

I loved it!

A different take on the LW genre. 😁