Ingrid's Dark Secret Passion Ch. 01

Ingrid Losnedahl was born in Toledo Ohio, to an upper middle class family, where her father, Frank, worked for Owens Corning and her mother, Nora, was a lecturer in the music department at the University of Toledo. Ingrid was an only child as her mother suffered two miscarriages subsequent to her birth. Refusing to tolerate possible future despair, her mother underwent a tubal ligation operation to forestall further misery associated with the loss of a child during pregnancy. To say her parents doted on her is an understatement. Considering her mother's two miscarriages, her parents considered Ingrid as God's special gift to them. Consequently, they felt that they were honor bound not to squander such a wonderful gift.

Despite being obviously consciously and subconsciously aware of her parents' attitude towards her, it remarkably did not render Ingrid's character into selfishness or self-centralism. Instead, as she loved them instinctively, she took the view that it was imperative on her part to display that she was worthy of her parents' high regard of her. To achieve such ambition, Ingrid even as early as at the tender age of three years formulated the ambition to become a world class pianist. One of the luxuries her parents possessed was a full-size grand Steinway piano which originally was the property of her maternal grandmother. Her mother could play the piano adequately, and as a result, Ingrid was fascinated by witnessing her mother play the instrument. As soon as she was able to effectively communicate with her parents, Ingrid pestered her mother to teach her to play.

By the time Ingrid reached the age of four, her mother had exhausted in imparting all her musical knowledge to her precocious daughter. So, she hired a local professional music teacher to supplement Ingrid's knowledge of playing the piano. By the time Ingrid was six years old, the music teacher could not really add anything more to Ingrid's acquired expertise. The teacher's recommendations were for Ingrid to continue practicing on her own and enter as many piano competitions as feasibly possible. That way by the time she reached her senior year in high school would be as good a time as any to evaluate and assess her possible future in music.

Ingrid was not averse to such recommendation. As she started grade school, she had an alternative agenda. She certainly paid attention to her schoolwork to acquire a worthwhile education to sustain herself in life apart from her piano playing. However, her passion was playing the piano. She continuously practiced and played so that such activity occupied almost her entire time apart from school and sleeping. She seldom watched television and had acquired no friends whatsoever. Given her parents appraisal of her, they seldom interfered with her relentless devotion to her music. They did not discourage her from pursuing such a solitary lifestyle with the belief she would eventually expand her interests.

Ingrid's single-minded dedication to her art paid dividends in the music competitions she entered throughout the United States. With one lone exception, wherein she inadvertently made a minor error, she won every competition that she entered. Once she turned twelve her parents took turns to enter her in some important competitions in Europe for her age group during her summer recess from school. She won every competition she entered there as well.

The apex of her competitive triumphs was winning the quadrennial International Tchaikovsky Competition, a two-week event held in Moscow and Saint Petersburg, Russia. Ingrid's birthday was at the beginning of June, and when Ingrid turned sixteen, this competition was scheduled later that month. Having just turned sixteen she barely met the minimum age requirement for the event. Considering her stellar record in winning piano competitions her entry was enthusiastically accepted.

The only American to date to have won the piano competition of this event was the legendary Van Cliburn way back in 1958, being the inaugural competition for this musical festival. Like Van Cliburn, Ingrid on the finale night performed Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto No. 1 in B-flat minor plus Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 3 in D minor, arguably two of the most famous piano concertos scored by Russian composers. Ingrid's performance of those two pieces of music was absolutely brilliant. In particular, her bombastic entrance to the languid pace set by the orchestra in commencing the second movement of Rachmaninoff's concerto was breathtaking. The audience could sense that not only was Ingrid performing flawlessly but her body and soul was totally engaged to produce the exquisite music. The resultant standing ovation lasted more than ten minutes, a veritable testimonial to Ingrid's outstanding presentation.

Ingrid was not overly conceited, but neither was she unrealistically modest. She entered the competition with the expectation of winning, and thus beforehand she read up about Van Cliburn's triumph of 1958 with the view of emulating him should she indeed win the grand first prize. In that regard, she had her mother get a hold of a Russian speaking professor in the Russian studies department of the University. Ingrid engaged the Russian to teach her to speak in Russian an acknowledgment in appreciation.

Consequently, when the applause eventually died down, Ingrid addressed the audience and said (in Russian with a pleasing American accent), "Thank you so much for your enthusiastic applause. I am delighted to have competed in this wonderful festival of classical music and that my performances have been so favorably received. It was a pleasure to play these concertos by Tchaikovsky and Rachmaninoff, which I rank as one of my favorite pieces to perform. Now at this point I would like to play as an encore another one of my favorite pieces of music. It's not by a Russian composer but I hope you don't mind. After all music is the universal language understood by every person on this planet. It's Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody No. 5."

This, almost nine minutes in length, piece of music was indeed Ingrid's favorite piece of music. In her teenage mind, she could not articulate precisely why she was attracted to the haunting themes in this music. It is generally understood that Liszt in composing the various rhapsodies incorporated many themes he had heard in his native western Hungary and which he believed to be folk music, though many were in fact tunes written by members of the Hungarian upper middle class, or by composers and often played by Roma (Gypsy) bands. Aware of the prosaic explanation of the creation of this music, did not assist Ingrid in determining the reason for her peculiar enthrallment with this particular piece of music. As she was not yet sexually active, she was at a loss to explain her passion for this music. Later on when she had become a mature adult, she surmised that there had to be an inherent sexual component acting as a factor to her enjoyment. All she could discern at the time was that she found this music compelling.

Given her obsession with practicing and playing the piano Ingrid had no room left to indulge in alternative feelings. It also left her with no inclination to socialize. The typical interests that teenagers normally pursue was not Ingrid's cup of tea. Although recognizing and allured to the physical attractiveness of some of her male classmates in school, she was able to conclude that their immaturity would not float her boat of her standard sophisticated desire for male intimacy. As a result, her desire for sex was virtually nonexistent. For that matter in social intercourse, Ingrid had virtually no girlfriends either, as she could not abide the frivolousness of her female peers either.

Consequently, Ingrid was completely standoffish and discouraged any intimacy. However, Ingrid was considered very physically attractive, and thus, was constantly subject to attention and notice from her male school mates. To ward off such unwanted attention as much as she could, she always dressed as drably as possible. Despite her best efforts to discourage notice she was constantly besieged to go out on a date by various self-professed Lotharios of her school. The relentless pressure to go out on a date intensified in her second year in high school to such an extent that she acquiesced to dates three times, just so she could have some peace of mind. However, each of those dates proved to be disasters as her dates quickly got the hint that she was not interested in them.

Her mother, Nora, was very cognizant of her daughter's pulchritude, and as soon as she realized Ingrid was going to be dating, she marched Ingrid off to her own gynecologist's office to have Ingrid fitted with an IUD. Nora's theory was that Ingrid, being so focused in her music, would be too lackadaisical in remembering to take the pill every day. Thus, with an IUD inserted she would only need to check with her doctor infrequently for maintenance. An unwanted teenage pregnancy was definitely something that needed to be avoided, if Ingrid was going to enjoy an illustrious concert playing career. However, Nora's caution proved to be unnecessary.

Winning the grand prize in the International Tchaikovsky Competition changed the atmosphere in high school for Ingrid. For one thing she had become an instant national celebrity as a result of her unique international achievement. She was a guest at the White House, whereby the President presented her the Presidential Medal of Freedom. This medal is the highest civilian award bestowed by the President to recognize persons who have made "an especially meritorious contribution to the security or national interests of the United States, world peace, cultural or other significant public or private endeavors." Obviously cheered by such significant public acclaim, still Ingrid managed to humorously quip to her mother in an unguarded moment, "Hey Mom, I didn't get a ticker tape parade in New York like Van Cliburn."

To which her mother replied, "Well at least you did get the Medal of Freedom like he did. Besides ticker tape parades have become passé. Something to do with saving trees I think."

In any case, Ingrid's sudden national prominence dissuaded her male high school peers to continue pursuing her. They collectively, and subconsciously concluded that she was now out of their league and so quit bothering her. This allowed Ingrid in conjunction with her mother to plan her future without the hindrance of premature romantic confusions. Obviously having won such a prestigious competition, would allow Ingrid to quit school and pursue a lucrative concert career and all the benefits that go along with that.

Despite the allure to immediately follow the tempting appeal of a sophisticate lifestyle of performing classical music, her mother pointed out that Van Cliburn was seven years older when he won the Tchaikovsky competition. And his subsequent career was as rich and rewarding as one could hope for or to aspire. Therefore, Ingrid had still lots of time ahead of her to contemplate in following Van Cliburn's example. Her mother also pointed out that Ingrid played the piano with full passion and vigor without any restraint. That being the case she ought to be wary of the possibility of developing arthritis or an equally debilitating injury in her hands and fingers that could curtail or shorten her playing career. Such afflictions have been suffered by many a great piano virtuoso.

Nora Losnedahl went on to add, "Now it would not do to restrain your playing style for fear of contracting such a physical malady. Playing cautiously obviously would lessen your artistry, and besides living a life in constant fear and trepidation is not living. The practical solution is to have a fallback position to overcome an unwelcome intrusion to your presumed serendipity. So, if you can no longer play the piano, you can still teach playing the piano. And I don't mean by teaching that you try and impart your musical knowledge to a runny nosed child of ten years old or so who has no interest and is only indulging its mother's fondest wish. I also don't mean you to follow in my footsteps and end up teaching in a rinky dink music school either."

Ingrid chuckling replied, "I didn't think you considered your position as teaching in a rinky dink school of music."

Nora answered, "Oh our school is not bad for its modest ambitions. It is adequate for amateur and semi-professional musicians. But Ingrid honey, you have already proven yourself to be an elite world class musician. So, if you are forced to or for that matter wish to teach, your students must be of equal potential caliber of musicianship.

"Of course, composing music is always an option and I can already tell that you may have a flair for it. Who knows, you might end up known more for your musical compositions than for your exquisite performances. Now to achieve such goals you will really require a tertiary education in music. The four years will be well spent, and it cannot possibility interfere in any way your concert playing aspirations save and except delaying the launch of your career until you are a little more mature. Which is a good thing in of itself."

Ingrid was following her mother's train of thought quite closely and was in total agreement as she responded, "So are you thinking of sending me to Europe. I actually think I would love to go to that school in Vienna if I'm accepted."

"Let's not be coy Ingrid. Having won the grand prize in the Tchaikovsky competition allows you to virtually write your own ticket. Yes, you will have no trouble in enrolling at the University of Music and Performing Arts in Vienna. However, I would like to suggest that you also consider acquiring part of your education here in the US as well. In other words, two years here and two years in Vienna. And yes, I agree with you that, Vienna is the best school for you over there in Europe."

"Why don't I then spend my entire music education in Austria?"

"Call me jingoistic if you like, but I detest the snobbery of Europeans towards downplaying appreciation of classical music in America. We have some of the greatest orchestras in the world and have developed some solid composers as well not to mention some truly outstanding performing artists. So, it infuriates me when American artists are slighted.

"It is my belief that your win in the competition opened a lot of eyes in Europe and suggested that the United States is not some backwater of truly civilized society after all. Now if you did confine your musical education to Europe, you would not thereby excise the European pretension. They would say of you, 'yes she is an American, but she got her training in Austria, the home of Mozart and Beethoven no less.' But with American education mixed with Austrian no one on either side of the Atlantic can claim propriety interest and instead would have to acknowledge your innate musical genius. You would be universally celebrated for who you are, and the fact you happened to be American would be merely an incidental fact about you."

Ingrid reacted, "Oh OK then, so you want me to apply to Juilliard?"

"Well, the thing about Juilliard is that it has attained a worldwide reputation as one of the finest schools of music on the planet. Even Europeans would concede that point, and thus coming from Juilliard would be considered equivalent to graduating from the finest schools in Europe."

Now truly horrified, Ingrid asked, "Oh my God you're not really suggesting I do go to the rinky dink school here in town instead?"

"No! No! No! Of course not. As I said our school is only suitable for those interested in music and can play an instrument but are not expected to make a living at it. That is unless one is content to teach runny nosed preteens to play a musical instrument. I'm thinking how about Ohio State down the road in Columbus?"

"Are you serious Mom? I know they have a music department but that's about all I know of it. Hell, I think Oberlin and Dayton are better known schools of music just in our state alone. I guess though it has to be better than your rinky dink school here in Toledo."

"I'm starting to regret my initial disparaging description of the school I work for. After all no school of music can be bad, and if such schools produce enthusiastic lovers of music the world has to be a better place for it. For the record as you know OSU is the second largest school of higher learning in the United States. Now most people, even those residing here in Ohio, are aware of this school as merely having a successful football team competing in the Big Ten conference. By the way no segue but did you know one year the Big Ten had twelve teams competing for the title of the conference championship? Whereas another conference or league known as the Big Twelve had ten teams competing for its championship?"

Ingrid laughed as she asked, "Surely you must be kidding, Mom! That can't be true."

"I swear it is. You see the Big Ten at one time did indeed have just ten teams. The designation proved to be so catchy in phraseology that the league obtained a legal copyright to prevent any other college football league or conference to purloin this title. The fact that the Big Ten acquired more teams in its league did not prevent the league from retaining its moniker. I believe there are currently fourteen teams in the league and there is talk there might even be further expansion to sixteen teams eventually."

Ingrid could only reply, "Oh brother! I think this proves that Europeans are justified in considering we Americans as slightly daffy."

Nora replied, "Not just slightly, but completely. Anyway, I've digressed. The point is that OSU is a fine institution of higher learning with sound academic credentials. The music department compares favorably with anyone and knowing quite a few of their faculty I can personally promise you that you will receive a quality musical education that you will never regret. In fact, I would go so far as to suggest you will get a better-quality education there than at Juilliard."

Ingrid in puzzlement asked, "How can you say that? You have already conceded that Juilliard is one of the finest if not the finest music school in the world?"

Nora answered, "The material point is that Juilliard has its worldwide reputation and revels on the quality of student musicians it has produced. Some of them have become truly iconic legends in music history. Now you on the other hand have already achieved musical immortality. You will always be remembered in music history even were you to die tomorrow. That being the case Juilliard is precluded from claiming they have molded you into the superb musician you have become. The best they can aver is to suggest they have transformed you from a musical star into a musical super nova.

"To achieve this, the teachers will be on the outlook for errors you might make in playing. They will harangue you mercilessly for the same to emphasize the point that you are a mere student with a lot to learn. There really is no conspiracy in this, as it's just a manifestation of the human condition with the belief that to be overly critical is the way to ensure improvement. Actually, the opposite is the true way to ameliorate a bad situation.

"I'll give you an example that'll illustrate my point more succinctly. You know that I play contract bridge competitively and compete in tournaments. On one occasion my partner committed an egregious error in play that doomed our partnership to incur the worst possible score for the hand. Now my partner was downcast at having made the ghastly error, but rather than berate her I suggested we get some coffee before starting the next round. I could see that my partner was grateful for me sparing her from a harangue which she had come to expect. The upshot was that she played well the rest of the tournament and we came in at second place.