All Comments on 'Innocent Flirting in the 1950s'

Damn! Mama as a whore. Thought I looked like the milkman.

And then she can learn about the fun of being a single person working a shit job that she hates while doing a dating scene that views her as nothing but pussy to use and discard.

"Innocent Flirting"? Really? 1*

Thanks a lot, I enjoyed this very much! Don't get demotivated by negative comments. I'd love to read more 50s or 60s tales of yours.

Cliffa

The story line was too simple, no intrigue. If you inspire to be a writer, I would suggest doing some research about writing..... you know, plot and all that....

Nice tongue-in-cheek tale :-)

. . . and divorce was difficult, expensive and frequently career destroying for men. Working men could frequently not afford divorce, and executives saw divorce as potentially the ends of their careers. Her husband just might have to put up with her cheating, as long as she keeps it a bit more discrete.

To divorce her, he’d have to prove adultery. And if she got knocked up by the milkman, there were no DNA tests to prove child wasn’t the husband’s, so he’d get stuck with child support. Legally, the child is presumed to be his.

This was before the pill. Birth control meant condoms.

Did she order extra cream with her delivery?

I liked this story. It skipped lightly across what in the 1950s would have been a conscience-wracking situation for a housewife. Even the title 'Innocent' Flirting skipped over the seriousness of what she was doing. As other commenters have pointed out, the risk of pregnancy (pre reliable contraception) was severe and the consequences could be catastrophic.

The story even skipped lightly past the little hint about the husband's wish that he had a woman like those in his pornographic images (and remember, genitalia and nipples were hidden or airbrushed away back then). But the possibility was left in the reader's mind that if only the married couple could communicate with each other, then . . . . .

I found the writing style interesting. Dialogue was relatively sparse and I am unsure whether more would have improved it. Likewise there was little exploration of thoughts or emotions. The story skipped lightly over all that and it was what it was. Interesting.

All in all, a worthy contribution from a new author.

Lue

Ps: Jewel_Bell, your biog note is uninformative. I can't speak for all your readers but I assume there are others like me who find it helpful to know something about authors who write interesting stories. Perhaps a few words of information?

I see this as a very good effort for a first time writer. Sure, as some have pointed out, you’ll mature as an author, and believe it or not, there are wonderful people on this site who’ll try to help. You’ve met a couple today. Luedon’s comments are right on; she showed the need to time check our stories. In my case, I put a 350 engine in a Chevy a couple years before Chevy did. That was quickly pointed out, and I promised never to do such a thing, only to commit a similar boo-boo just recently. I tell you this to point out how we need to be careful, especially after we get a few stories under our belt.

ReedRichards is another of the good guys and his comment also stresses the need to get into the era your story takes place. Everything he says would be absolutely necessary if you were writing the “Great American Novel.”

Here on LIT, I see less importance attached to such things as quality of birth control and whose child it is, unless you bring that into your story. If you don’t write it, there is no STD, no unwanted pregnancy, no anything you don’t write in, But, and this is a big BUT, if you make it part of the story, you really need to get it right.

I agree with luedon that you need more info on your Bio. Most serious readers will probably be more understanding, knowing a writer is new, or that English isn’t the first language. (Doesn’t apply to this case.)

BTY keep track of characters occupations—Jason started out as a milkman and switched jobs over night. He probably thought he stood a better chance as a federal employee. I’m looking forward to your next story. cd

Thank you for all your comments; be they encouraging or critical I value them :) I will absolutely take them to heart as I strive to improve my writing.

But I notice a mix of responses to your representation of life in the 50's. I think if we knew more about the writers we would see a breakdown by age groups.

In the 50's even pornography was censored. Unless you saw it you wouldn't understand it. Can you imagine today the outrage caused by Playboy? Or would people believe how hard it was to buy an issue? Even more incredible today is knowing the centerfold was airbrushed obscuring her genitals.

Readers who have grown up with the internet don't understand the plain brown wrapper. Nor can they imagine having to go to a theatre to watch an art movie. What is read on Literotica was a small section in a few monthly publications.

Yes, flirting was different, life was different.

Who did she buy the vacuum cleaner from ? Symbian.

Madmen character Betty Draper used a corner of a out of balance washing machine, she did break a sweat and a fantasy. They also explored highly educated young women who were expected to stay home and raise a family in some state of isolation. She tells her husband Don that he's left her alone all day, (he's home very late again) and that she's outnumbered by her 3 children.

Best show ever ! Madmen

You better like your neighbors and warm milk.

One of the neighbors will notice the baby looks like the milkman.

A fine start in a difficult catagory. Loving Wives readers can be very tough on writers. I added you to my list to watch. Looking forward to your future efforts.

Theakston

This is a great story! It reminded me of Robert Sheckley's "Can You Feel Anything When I do This?". I'm eager to read more of your writing.

You're right about the story. It is cliches as hell, and it sucked. Another author trying to make cheating cute.