All Comments on 'Into the Woods'

What ruined your story for me was that you were careless changing the first in I-form written Story to she-form=Lisa. There are at least (that is when i stopped reading) 4 times when MY was used in the text rather then HER.

But don't quit, you will get better with time, and you aren't bad now.

A lot to love about this

I have read all three of your stories to date and have noticed a change. Your first story was a bit rapey for my tastes (as I commented), but your second and third offerings felt well balanced, Into The Woods, while encouraging risky behavior, remained sensual and erotic IMHO. I had some apprehension about which way the story was going to go, (which is a good thing) but you made it clear that Lisa was a consenting participant in whatever happened. The way you presented it empowered her to own her sexuality/sensuality and control the seduction. Obviously not something I would recommend doing in real life, but very palatable for my tastes in fantasy exhibitionist erotica.

I also have to disagree with one of the comments. I found the story very easy to follow, and had no problem with the voicing of the characters. You did have one typo where you used "my" instead of "her" but nothing I would consider a major faux pas.

I hope this feedback is helping you identify the audience you're writing for and how to best reach them. I'm rooting for you to continue penning stories like into The Woods, or Cheer Captains, rather than Undercover Cop Gets Caught. Of course, that's JMHO. Again, you do you. Cheers

I was also going to mention the "first person vs. third person" thing, but in a slightly more tactful way. I assume you wrote this in the first person and then switched it after. If it's easier for you to write like that, then do a word search for "I" "me" and "my" when you are editing. Also, divot is spelled with an "o".

Overall, you are a good writer and your stories are great. If you don't have someone who can read over your work, try a Literotica editor. :)

Yes some odd voice issues and the occasional typo, but well structured. The descriptions of the sex were well done and not trite. This story deserves a part 2 or more...

.. with some of the previous comments.The sex scenes were well written for the most part; nice description but at times a bit choppy. Unfortunately the changing of the point of view - from 'her' to 'my', etc - was distracting. Have you thought about reaching out to an editor? No shame in that at all.

These comments are not meant to discourage you, but to help you out. I'm sorry if you take this the wrong way.

I'll be looking forward to reading more from you.

Thanks!

T

This was an excellent story! I'm not worried at all about spelling, tense, etc, and wonder about people who do. The content was fantastic. A great, well paced story. It reminded me of a great rendezvous in the park/woods I had with a girlfriend a few years back. Took a blanket on a trail walk, found a nice clearing about 10 yards off the path, stripped naked from our short athletic wear, and did it all in the shaded sunshine ... I still love going on nude walks in the woods and and having sex in parks till this day! Again, great story telling, and looking forward to reading another one from you.