All Comments on 'Invisible Man Ch. 02'

Would have enjoyed much more about Starlite instead of Kelly. She was the old news ho.

🎯

Hilarious at times but also dramatic. Starlite rocks!

Cute -- and an original take on the old "cheating bitch got what she deserved theme" so 5* from me.

Well hiding from your wife just makes you look weak, like your afraid of getting your feelings hurt if you were to face her.

My biggest question is how the MC could know the woman almost his entire life without noticing she was a self-entitled, shallow, immoral bitch. Oh, that's right .. she had huge tits that overwhelmed his tiny brain. IMO, they both had the emotional depth of a thimble and the maturity of a leftist.

★★★★★

I loved both parts. Will read other of this author's stories when I have some time to kill, no pun intended.

Nicely done. It was great to see JoAnn again. She is in another story, too. I love that this author references real events as inspiration. Wish the author still posted on this site.

Glad no reconciliation. Starlite was awesome!He definitely traded up!

A good solid realistic story. Brings to life what's too true for many. Unfortunately woman like Kelly are abundant..To many men like Eric simping to women make it possible..No idea why more guys Can't see that once you fall into "oh hes just a nice guy/friend" your done as a prospective lover or husband..AS far as it goes that's where you have been designated in a woman's mind forever. Cut her out of your life. Simple solution that works for me and millions of other men,let her know your interested, ask her for a date,ONLY ONCE, If you get negative response, walk away forever,cut ties and forget about her,move on..if you can't do that,you will never get real respect from her if she ever did agree at a later date when she has nothing better on hand. That's 90% true most of the time....Having said that...4 stars for the well written realistic story...JZK..

Fun story.

Thanks for the read. Enjoyed the idea. Probably could have put this all together. Thanks for your writing.

Some hilarious dialog. Glad no reconciliation etwren Kelly and Eric. She didn't have real remorse. Before the shooter incident l, she thought Eric was being an asshole for kicking her out. Her later 'contrition' was actually conceit and selfish forgiveness of her own sins. Liked the janitor and Starlite. Eric didn't deserve thr crap that was pushed on him buy he made out great in the end.

Liked this one a lot. True defition of courage .... Unfortunately, again "No justice served" on the cheating WOO (Waste Of Oxygen)

Liked it.

Not for me. Not a fan of the pyscho with a gun cliffhanger. Makes it even worse the janitor has the perfect daughter sitting around waiting for MC

More than memorable! This was (is) a very good piece of writing with characters you could love and hate. People with real values, moral character, and humility are indeed invisible in our narcissistic self-entitled society. Bravo.

This story is a FANTANSTIC piece of writing!

I was riveted every moment!💥💯💫💥💥💥

Thank, I think from all of us, for such a gift.!!

The lessons of this story were never so appropriate as they DIRECTLY, and correctly, indict the so called- they are a disgrace to the original Feminist movement.

THEIR fate is exactly as you depicted.

Brilliant! Just truly brilliant!!

Great story. Thanks

Thanks for good story

Kelly got what her sort deserve.

really great story, funny, morally strong

Kelly doesn't need anyone to point out she's a manipulative, unfaithful slut. She makes that clear all by herself. Starlite's shaming, criticism and name calling did little to affect Kelly but made Starlite look like mean spirited trailer trash. Eric sure knows how to chose a spouse...picked two winners back to back. Good thing he neither blames nor complains.

Loved the description of first action by Tonto.

True for most.

Enjoyed that . 5⭐️

Why was Kelly on disability?

Wow, Starlight is a kickass Mama Bear if ever there was one. Her diatribe at the useless one was spot on.

This story has it all from sex to satire , and from comic relief to tragic heroism ! I don’t know what else to say as I just fell victim to a serious case of ‘commentary writers block’ 5 stars from me !

I felt sorry for Kelly. She's portrayed as a typical selfish immature teenager. It's a big mistake to marry someone like that until they've matured. Authors throw in words like narcissistic without knowing what the word actually means. A narcissist is similar in some ways to a sociopath. It's a very serious mental and emotional trait usually found in people in power heads of companies, politicians etc.

Women like 'Kelly' often survive and even prosper just to prove the World is not fair. While the 'Tontos' and 'Starlites' often appear to 'level the playing field' It isn't always the case and the 'Erics' usually have to beat a new path for themselves. This was a satisfying and entertaining story and well written, and edited! Thank You 5*****

I re-read this. Still one of the better stories here.

That is one great story. Starlight is a keeper, and as Louis L’Amour said, “Tonto is a man to ride the river with.”

Now this is a BTB story. Excellent work

Great read

Perfect BTB story. Throughout her life, she exhibits symptoms of a narcissistic personality by using men for own needs. After countless therapy hours and suffering the consequences of a fling with a wannabe actor. She finally open her eyes about her true self. Glad she saw what she gave up when she bump into Eric and Starlight. By the way, what kind of name is Starlight?

This started as a fascinating story about how a good guy came out on top and then it turned into some over-the-top fantasy. Too bad.

A Strangers truth is usually fiction

Truth is stranger than fiction.

Love chapter 2 of this story.

Liked the characters. Liked the plot. Needs some editing for misspelled words. 5*

Great story and 5/5 again.

However, they lived in a small town where everyone knew everyone. It is impossible to believe that Kelly did not know that Eric had married Starlite and that she was pregnant.

Impossible. Did not change the story at all, just pointing it out as a possible plot error

I especially love the insults Eric tosses at Tommy during the confrontation in Kelly's office.

Basement Boy.....gotta love it.

2nd read. Just as good as 1st time. 5*

Tonto and Starlite are awesome!!! She will NEVER cheat on Eric!!!

I loved Tonto

Fan-phuqing-tastic!

Sorry should have given him a little break in first part.

Saw Recon USMC refuse to get out choppers for recon in a shau valley

Before we took it back gunner on Huey escorting.

My cousin Green Beret shot had to crawl back as left.

So training etc is only that. Real situation every one has to suck it up and pray.

Great story enjoyed

He survived and got a happy ending hopefully ever after

"At the end does she finally see him?"

No. She only saw herself, just as she always did.

I feel truly sorry for her character. Did she get what she deserved? Absolutely. But in the end, she never understood that the real reason for her misery is her narcissism. She will never have a fulfilling existence. Not because of a 'screw up', or any event, but because she doesn't have the social skills for love.

stupid is as stupid does, just as stupid as your comment is. Anon 5/20 was right, and your assessment of Eric was stupid. SHE almost caused his death. The stupidest thing about Eric was saving Kelly's life.

I have to say, I almost baled on it about half way through the first chapter. I guess I got bored with it, seemed like it wasn’t going anywhere. But I’m glad I didn’t chuck it, because it turned out to be a great story. Kudos to the author.

"Kelly wasn't a nasty evil person, she's was just a rather stupid, self-deluded woman who couldn't come to terms with not being able to have children."

No children was just the latest thing, she was upset at not getting her way at every juncture

"[Eric's] categorical refusal to allow Kelly to visit him in hospital was childish in the extreme."

Why? As an aggrieved party in pain why must he sacrifice MORE of his physical well being to alivete her guilt?

"He knew how badly finding out that she couldn't have a baby affected her and their relationship, but he made no allowance for her mental state whatsoever."

I know right? Standing by her for months and getting her counseling and helping her get a new job, that was nothing what he should have done is let her fuck around and never say anything about it, amirite?

"I think the marriage was doomed the moment she found out she couldn't have children"

The marriage was doomed from the moment she hit puberty and became a narcissistic bitch, even if they had kids she would have cheated eventually,

Great story, with a perfect ending. Eric proves his worth again, while Tommy shows his true colors. Happy ending for Eric as Kelly faces the ruins of her life.

👍

Another well-written story from an author who has a knack of creating characters who are flawed human beings, not stereotypical heroes and villains. Kelly wasn't a nasty evil person, she's was just a rather stupid, self-deluded woman who couldn't come to terms with not being able to have children. Eric was certainly a decent human being, but his categorical refusal to allow Kelly to visit him in hospital was childish in the extreme. He knew how badly finding out that she couldn't have a baby affected her and their relationship, but he made no allowance for her mental state whatsoever. I don't mean that he should have taken her back - I think the marriage was doomed the moment she found out she couldn't have children - but a truly decent, emotionally mature man would have at least talked to her and not behaved like a petulant child.

LA

I love your storytelling style. I never stopped to consider plausibility for a second. Now that I have stopped, I still don't give a shit- I liked it. But hell yes it's plausible. Take a look around at the world we live in. Far stranger shit happens every day and doesn't even make the front page. For you younger folks who don't get that last remark, back in the day we had these printed pages that were called newspapers....

I especially liked the first installment. I enjoyed your development of all the characters, but especially Kelly. I think I married that stupid, self absorbed bitch, but to my credit I also divorced her, and pronto. Thanks for this little series. It was great fun.

The Adventures of Tonto and Tommy, Private Eye's.

Tonto is the smart, hardworking one and Tommy is the one that keeps screwing up and getting the NCIS Headslap every time he screws up or says something stupid (every 5 minutes). This would be an award-winning spinoff for sure.

I dunno, but when I read about her being able to train Eric, the result is hardly surprising, given the contemptuous display. That's taking ownership, as in stealing. Ownership, when given freely, is highly erotic. There are many stories that explore that aspect. But to take it like that is unacceptable. 30 years dungeon for her.

I'm pissed at the father for his role in the setup. Starlite, what a whack name, really, but it works I suppose.

They won't give it to the man they stalked but they'll freely give it away to a piece of shit loser.... and, when they're inevitably caught and are forced to face and deal with the consequences, they complain that 'Life' is so unfair.

I spent over fifty years bareback fucking and inseminating cheating wives and I have nothing but pure, unadulterated contempt for 95% of them. The other 5% were married to cheaters or duds with short, thirty second fuses who then ignored her and left her truly cheated of what I gave her. I got to impregnate dozens of those women because I made love to them as I fucked them... always for over an hour to make it memorable before holding them close and pumping my cum deep into them, triggering them to another violent cock crushing orgasm.

A SAD STORY THAT'S TOO OFTEN EXPERIENCED IN REAL LIFE. "When will they ever learn... When will they e....ver learn." (from "Where Have All The Flowers Gone?" by The Kingston Trio)

No one who's read this will learn shit and just keep fucking up but I still gave this well written story 5 stars for truth in 'advertising'.

No humans were indigenous - native - to the Americas.

Meaning NO SUCH THING AS NATIVE AMERICANS.

First known humans on the two continents came from Polynesia and serrled tip of South America. Later visitors arrived in Alaska. Much later, the northern immigrants migrated far, far South and eradicated Polynesian settlements.

Apaches were not even in top hundred of immigrant tribes.

DESERT DOG Us Australian Soldiers been there done that got the scars! We as in me Never called it home over there SATANS SLAUGHTER FIELDS!

Our brown nose Politicians and Castrated Generals sent us to literally die STOP!!!

please I salute you American Soldiers! I still have Nightmares Enough said!

Story is Great Thanks ★★★★★ WOOF!

I've always liked your writing, Cpete, and apparently we both have the same sense of humor because I usually get a couple of good laughs while reading your stories.

"...I've got 25 acres and a backhoe..."

That cracked me up; what Dad has not planned out how he would do it if their son-in-law got ugly with their daughter? I know I have. Oddly though, when I laughingly told my SIL about it one day, he didn't think it was as cute as I did. Some people, right? Just no sense of humor. 'Course... he knew I meant every word... so maybe that had something to do with it.

the very first Marine action in Viet-Nam......just south of Chu-Lai my home for a year...hooRAH...

Some parts of this story was exceedingly well written. But the character of Kelly was selfish personified. She was spoiled far beyond rotten. I was glad that Eric could still be good to Kelly after everything he had been through. I am glad that Kelly's dad did not wither and let his ex-wife move back in.

No reason to feel sorry for her. Accept the consequences of your actions.

She was selfish from beginning to end, and Starlite saw right through it.

i love cliches and ott stories, brilliant! and amusing 5*****

I read these concepts at a different forum, but they were germane here.

When a woman (or a man) believes they need to 'get all their fun out of the way' BEFORE they marry, they have an overall shitty attitude.

A man will accept a woman's older years, if she shares her younger years with him. Otherwise he is likely to consider himself a mere placeholder.

It illustrates that "finishing" a story may not entirely work...

Which I suppose a virtue of some recent JPB, now that I think of it.

Green-something

Just a great story and a hell of a lot of fun to read.

Good triumphs over evil, and the nice guys finish first!

I would like to see kelly get through therapy and get a second chance marriage with a widowed male wth two kids.

First of all, why would anyone have a problem reading True Detective or Western stories?

Second, if they DID, why would they worry here? Nobody knows us!

Formulae, predictable, cliche it all found a restful place in this story. The author manipulated the characters to find entertainment and interest in the ongoing drama. It was thoughtful inventive and widely entertaining. This is no run if the mill author. I am deeply interested in cpete's other stories so I will jump off to his profile and read them all. I hope they are as good as this one, which I gave five stars. Are there any suggestions from me?

I gave you a five. Mother and daughter share their misery and shame. But that's the story. I'm glad Eric finally found a real human being. My take on the real world is that a wife who cheats, really doesn't care whose life she fucks up , and certainly feels little remorse or shame for her actions. Fuck everyone and everything except for what she wants.

the same one as many religious folks would tout?

Without children in the family, marriages are more likely to dissolve?

And this is all due to a woman's biological clock? And/or the resulting depression from being unable to conceive naturally?

Hmm...

If so, what was missing was more discussion from therapy (she WAS in therapy) about the kids issue. Was her disability payment a result of being unemployed due to her depression?

Also, is it possible that IF they DID have kids, then possibly she never would have cheated?

So the real question is: Are ALL TWINKs marriages destined to end in divorce?

(TWINKS = two incomes no kids or AKA DINKS as Dual incomes no kids)

I posit that it ISN'T lack of kids, but rather the associated depression, and lowered self-esteem, that becomes relationship poison.

Thanks Cpete. You still remain a unique author who deliberately uses(abuses?) clichés in order to get the audience here to possibly think about something a little deeper. Sure, a lot will dismiss up front, as soon as clichés are spotted. Complaints about Formula show up when a reader hasn't read between the lines, or really closely at all. But I've learned to always ask myself to try to decipher an author's real intention in writing the story. The story is a treasure map with hidden clues in a familiar package. This is what makes reading fun for me, and I imagine others. Cpete does this well, and Randi's editing has helped him improve.

This story could have been better, but then couldn't they all? I enjoyed it, and sorry I missed the hubbub and excitement of this post on day one. But I thank Pete for his contributions, and will eagerly await his next. (part one 4; part two 3)

I just enjoyed the action and the images that Pete generated.

I wasn't saying that the democrats were any different. I only resented carolinadreamer's implication that the Republicans were all Kum-Ba-Ya.

Neither Bush nominated anyone for SCOTUS in his last year in office. The last SCOTUS nomination in the President's last year was 1988, Justice Kennedy, nominated by Reagan, confirmed 97-0.

Any work the Republican's did "with" Obama caused many of the problems we have today. The exchanges were a Republican idea to protect the insurance companies. Obama would have preferred single-payer.

Thanks for the offering.

This chapter was as simple as the first was complicated. No BTB here. This was a pure consequences tale with the cheating wife losing what would have been a great life and our heroic husband finding love again and will live happily ever after. Not bad for an invisible.

Five Stars

Let her waddle in her pain and misery again, bully for a third chapter.

so in other words 5, I wish you would have gotten tommy to be his grip or flunky on the set.

If, as you say, she is so in the news that she has a Netflix movie about her (in her real name?), then yeah. Maybe she doesn't recover so easily.

After all, did Amy Fisher ever recover from her imfamy? Not sure, but somehow the shiny future she had probably did not pan out.

Hmmm 4.6*, OK its a BTB but you did not take our revenge on Tommy to complete the process. He could have passed her a STD to help the court divorce. Or make a pass at Starlite, and Tonto gave him a personal intro to Mr. Back-hoe.

And what the hell is she on disability for when Vets can't get good medical care. Kick that bitch to the curb, don't enabler her woe is me crap, let her woman-up, she has a degree get hopping and learn from her ego driven mistake. I sure as hell do not want my taxes paying for her cheating ego.

Sorry but the editing still needs help it is 'your' not 'you' and Tonto could speak flowing American English - he only does in-jun to make a point or pull one over - but the hospital room was choppy and not well constructed. And where did the two rounds hit him and how much damage?

It's a good story but about two pages more ending development is needed. Like you rushed to end the story.

I didn't think much of the structure of this story.

The first part had all the beats down: describe situation, establish relationship and problem, put out romance and have the infidelity. Boom.

If you had cut out at the finding the lighter in the car, that would have been enough of a high note: Part 1 Problem. Part 2 Response.

Instead, you jacked in the entire denouement of the RELATIONSHIP into the first part with a (ahem) cheap hook of physical danger to try to sell a weak part two.

Because not much happened here. I wouldn't have split it into two parts or I would have put more in the second. This is barely a page and a half of Lit and most of it was a medium sized Tonto joke.

This worked better in Ugly American because the second parts were longer and stronger. On cruise ship with pirates. We still have the dissolving marriage. Into a pit of Hyenas, we will have a messy and ugly divorce.

I'd put this around a 3.5. The hero needed to struggle more and the villains needed to be more threatening. These inept idiots were pitiful, not hateful.

Because, not to put too fine a point on it, but Hottie McSlutbag will find some 40 something divorced guy from another Lit story and be okay.

Doubt Starlite would actually fall for a pussy like Eric, once she realized the mad dog gunman stabber was a one-off and the day to day guy really is someone a wife would have to fuck around on to keep life interesting. Invisible men are real, real losers. And they often marry losers, like Kelly. So the whole Starlite ending kind of fits the cartoonishness of the piece. But hey, cartoons can be fun, even when extreme, like Game of Thrones, a total cartoon.

This was fun to read, shallow and simple minded. I would have preferred more head work, from Kelly and her Mom (WHY, just fucking WHY? Some bitches be brain dead. I enjoy reading the autopsy.), and the courtship with Starlite. From dating to married and pregnant in 8 months? Oh, really liked the observation from Starlite about Kelly "forgiving herself." Don't think I've read that perspective anywhere else, just great.

So thanks for keeping the story worth reading, and letting us do so, for free! And thanks for allowing anonymous comments. You ain't Eric, nor the authors who emulate him.

Enjoyable read

Please keep writing and I will keep reading!

Two points

Democratic senate did same thing regarding scotus at end of bush w terms.

Republicams worked with obama for aca. The way the bill was written you could not change pieces of it. Republicans should let aca die on its own. In two years there will be no options in most of country.

While I didn't care much for Eric's recap of the MacGyver/James Bond movie scenes, I thought the rest was great.

Five Stars.

Both before giving my score...5* for each. Thanks for the timely posting of the conclusion...good tale...entertaining....thx

Ok, not the type of story I normally read but I found it interesting enough to read both chapters. I did like the way you moved the story along without a bunch of repetitive bull shit. A little erotica would have spiced it up. Well written except for a few grammatical errors. Women used instead of woman several times. All and all an entertaining story!

I loved every bit of it. Very entertaining and I'm very glad to see you post a story. Give us another, and another. Five stars for both chapters.

Since you decided to bring politics into the discussion I can't let slide your comment that seems to be saying that the Republicans politely accepted Obama's election (AND re-election!) and only tried to work for the good of the country. I need give only two examples: The SEVEN years they could have either worked to FIX the problems with the ACA or actually come up with a new plan, instead of having to rush one through in five months; and the refusal to hold a hearing on Obama's SCOTUS pick.

Really liked this story

You've got enough to make a story on Tonto. I like this character. Down to earth, funny and stone cold killer. You could get a lot of mileage from this SEAL Apache. Keep up the good work.SF VET

I think it is well paced and credible. Some of the dialogue is great, e.g., "Starlite turned to Eric. 'I cannot believe you and my Grandfather almost died trying to protect this conceited delusional excuse for a human being. You should have used her as a human shield.'" Very nice! I also liked Eric's lady friend in the coffee shop. Sometimes I think that the commentators forget that these stories are meant to be entertaining. This story is excellent entertainment - interesting, fast paced, and it has good dialogue.

I really liked the first part. Good writing, interesting characters, and a somewhat unique plot. This ending is anything but. It feels really formulaic. He saves the day, replaces his wife with a younger model, and lives happily ever after. Now, that isn't necessarily a bad thing (StangStar does it all the time), but you seemed to have rushed it.

In the first story, Kelly seemed to have genuinely fallen in love with Eric, becoming far less selfish and shallow as she recognized what was really important. It was only when she couldn't have children that she then regressed back to her old self, perhaps as a self-destructive way of coping with her dream life falling apart. Sort of like a mid-life crisis. I would think that, after her divorce and some therapy, she’d return to the way she was when she first got married. Yet, when she runs into Eric again she gives a non-apology and basically acts as if it was no big deal. Now, I might be able to accept this. Some people are just selfish and, no matter how much they have “matured”, their inner character will always come out. But then you also write in that she wasn’t feeding the pets, which is an obviously bad thing that seems to be there for the sole purpose of making the reader hate her. Instead of this complicated character from the last chapter we get a stereotypical evil wife who can’t be trusted to love and care for even a dog, let alone another human being.

There was also nothing about who Starlite is as a person and why Eric falls in love with her. You don’t have to write a whole romance novel, but at least a few sentences. Otherwise she doesn’t feel “real”. You’re already using an overused trope. You might as well flesh it out so it isn’t so obvious.

Overall I’m disappointed. The writing seems rushed; meant more to finish the story and tie up loose ends quickly. The characters seem to be one-dimensional stereotypes that have lost their unique qualities from the first chapter. And the plot could have been easily inserted into a dozen other stories with minimal changes. I didn’t expect anything that would blow my mind in this chapter, and to be honest it isn't a bad ending, more of a terribly average one. I gave the first one 5 stars. This second part is 3 stars.

I loved both parts of this story. 5*s for each.

When JoAnne quoted John Wayne, "Life is hard, but it's even harder when you are stupid", I got curious and searched for other JW quotes. You also used;

"All battles are fought by scared men who'd rather be someplace else."

"Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway."

Thanks for the obscure references, thanks for sharing, and thanks for your service to this dangerous, battle ravaged land of Literotica Loving Wives.

The cheater almost steril wife gave possibility to Eric to have his own kid. I think she deserved polite conversation. 5*****

The marriage market is narrower and narrower and to find a wrong husband is easier now than in my younger time...I think if the cheater exwife goes into a wrong marriage is the one of the best revenge............

Pete, I read and enjoyed both chapters, but I will admit I thought the first had greater oomph to it. It’s your story, you told it the way you saw it, and who are those of us reading it for free to complain. I think you’ll probably agree that overall it isn’t quite a five, but I’m calling the two together, a solid four.

My reading experience thus far today, has only been marred by the asshole lefty Anon who just had to bring the president into his comment. To him I say, “Your side lost this one. Why not follow our example, set the last eight years, when you saddled us with a president we knew almost nothing about?” The right didn’t show their asses by trying to destroy the nation, and for the information of all who wonder, I was a yellow dog Democrat until they completely “lost the bubble.”

Totally predictable second chapter. Women never land up crying in a bottle of wine, seriously women hit the dating game straight away and usually land up marrying up.

Youneed to think before writing all your stories the same, use a little of that brain you have and write some decent work.