Invitation to Club "O"

"What is it?"

"It's a secret formula." We spent the rest of the trip talking about nothing, looking at each other's eyes.

She wiggled her nose. "Kyle, what is that divine cologne?"

"Clive Christian."

All too soon we came to a stop. For 45 minutes we played stop and go. As the limo inched along, I got serious with my sweet lover.

"Stacy. Before we get out and you become a smoking hot Elvira, I need to talk to you. We've been friends since you were in 4th grade. We were best friends until you went to middle school and even then, we went to dances together. In high school, I used to sneak out and meet you in your back yard and we would talk for hours. Even in college, we talked once a month on the phone."

She had a frightened look on her face.

"Consuela has kept me up to date on your dating and love interests. No new loves and very little dating. Not like the witch, the bitch, and the blonde." I reached under my cape and pulled out a ring box.

She looked terrified. "Kyle, Daddy won't..."

"Let me finish. I'm not proposing, but this ring is to signify that I am courting you and I promise to be exclusive. I love you and I..."

"Yes. Yes. One thousand times yes. Show me the ring."

From sheer terror to total ecstacy in 5 seconds. Women are a fascinating species.

"It's my grandfather's ring out of a set he had made. I want to put it on your right ring finger as a sign we are committed to each other."

She held up her right hand and I slid the ring over her glove. I found some Kleenex and dabbed the tears from her beautiful blue eyes.

Before we could say any more, the window came down.

"Your friends are getting out. I'll pull up and open the door and you can exit and help Stacy out. When your done call 867-5309 and I'll pick you up here."

We pulled up and stopped. It was 8:15. I left my mask, got out, and helped my Elvira out. I nodded at George and we proceeded to the receiving line. God's three gifts to teenage boys were already standing inside. The attendant waved Stacy in. A female attendant piped up, "Who are you supposed to be? Don't look like much."

I untied my cape and flipping it to her, began flexing, and grinding, and shimmied right up to her, two inches away.

"Oh my. I haven't seen anyone else dressed like this with those moves. He can most definitely be admitted."

I took my cape back and reached into the hidden pocket, pulling one of the fake hundreds out. "Here you go. Singles can come Monday thru Friday. Ask for Rocky, I work 2-10:30." My secret was out now.

I entered, getting astonished looks from the four amigos. I walked over to the coat check room and pulled the fake hundreds out of the pocket. I handed the lovely lady my cape and a fake bill. She gave me a ticket. I was approached by a woman in a tight cocktail dress, with a clipboard.

"Will you be performing tonight?"

"Yes."

"Single or a couple?"

"Couple."

"Name of the act?"

"Elvira gets a lap dance."

A man in tails appeared beside her and presented his top hat. "Draw."

I nodded at Stacy. "You draw." She reached in and pulled out a stub. It was number 8.

"Please follow Snow White."

I held out my arm. "May I escort you in, my Lady of Darkness?"

"Yes, you may."

We followed Snow White, although this version looked like the wet dream of the seven dwarfs.

"Stacy, can you put these in your clutch?" I held out the rest of the bills.

She took them, put them in her shiny black clutch. "Only if I get a lap dance."

"You most certainly will."

We reached two huge doors, opening up to a huge ballroom. Snow White turned around. "This is Ballroom A where the mixed couple competition takes place. This is Ruth. She will explain everything." As she left, Lauren Bacall took her place.

"The judging starts at nine. There are 27 entries. #1 starts and each couple gets four minutes. What music do you want?"

"Bon Jovi, "You Give Love a Bad Name."

She wrote something on a pad. "Very well."

"And I need a wide chair, no arms." I smiled.

"Of course you do."

Elvira took my arm and we strolled over to the refreshments. I handed her a white wine and I got some water. We were shocked at the costumes all around us. They were hot, smoking hot, Sodom and Gomorrah, hot. Skin, lots of skin, and the Hollywood Pose, Teeth, Tits, and Toes. Some of the ladies stared at me.

"Ladies and gentlemen. We will begin in five minutes. Please be close and ready when you are called."

Five minutes later, Ruth took the stage and called out #1 and some names. We started moving towards the stage through the heavy crowd. We managed to make it as number six was finishing.

"Very nice. #7 please." No answer.

"#7? Dirty Dancers?" Ruth was looking around.

"Last Call! #7." Nothing.

"Very well. #8."

I took Elvira's gloved hand and we climbed up on the stage. A huge bodybuilder wearing a speedo and a bowtie carried a chair up on stage. I indicated where I wanted it put. After he placed it, I escorted Elvira over to it. "Sit. When I dance close, tuck some bills in my waistband. Be creative."

I stepped back and signaled I was ready.

"Shot through the heart" banged out from the speakers and I launched into my act. Strut, strut, spin and repeat, strut and left foot on the chair seat, crotch grind slowly, one bill in, and left foot down. Spin, right foot on the chair seat, crotch grind slowly, two bills in, right foot down.

Step back, spin, step back and snap, off go the pants. Waving the pants in a circle above my head, step forward, shimmy, and another step, shake. Let pants go toward the crowd. Elvira reached out and stuffed some bills in my thong. I smiled, stepped back, spun 1 1/2 times around, and presented my derriere to her.

Elvira was getting into it. Bills in thong, slap on the cheek. Bills in thong, slap on the other cheek. Caress of the sack and I jumped forward, waving my right index finger, no, no, no. Strut back up, bills in thong leg openings, right side, and then left. Straddle chair, lap dance, more bills in the thong. She was breathing heavily, almost panting. Stepping.0 back I jumped up on the chair, feet on the outside of her legs. I then ground my package, slow and dramatically, a foot from her face. Her turn.

She parted her lips and her tongue snaked up and down, as she put more bills in my waistband. Then she slowly moved her tongue closer, two inches away. As Jon Bon Jovi sang the last line of the lyrics, I jumped backward coming down on one knee. I reached forward with my right arm and bowed my head.

Pandemonium broke out.

As we left the stage, I stood up and hugged Stacy, "You were fantastic." Women came up and asked if they could have a hundred and Stacy reached in her clutch.

"Oh, no. I want to get my own." "Me too." "Me too."

I was very embarrassed because I never got stroked like this at the club. Someone handed me my pants. Soon, the bills were all gone but Elvira kept tucking them in as fast as they got pulled out. Ok, they were pulling them out slower. When we finally ran out of bills, I put the pants back on.

We went and got some water and Stacy smiled. "You do dance at that club. How come I never saw these moves?"

"Because the last time you saw this much of me, was before you went to middle school. Later in life, I had no moves, no smooth lines, and no game. Just a huge crush." She put her arms around my neck and we shuffled around making goo-goo eyes. We ended up near a wall and began kissing. Music played in the background. My vision faded out and all sound disappeared.

Only the breathing of a boy and his girl was heard.

We were brought back to the here and now by an announcement. "Ladies and gentlemen. The results of tonight's contests will be announced in five minutes in Ballroom A."

We had been making out for over two hours. Oh my God.

We followed the crowd and moved toward the stage. The lights flickered. A man and a woman, wearing more than any guest, walked onto a small stage. We recognized Ruth. The man spoke first. "I am your host, Jacob. The costumes were a little more risqué this year, and more creative."

The lady spoke. "And I am Ruth. The talent was enormous this year. Yes, it's been a very exciting night so far. As many of you are aware, the party goes to 6 a.m. Now, first place for a performance by a Single Man is, Thunder doing a breakdance." We looked around and saw a tall, naked, white guy sliding through the crowd. When he got up on stage a chorus of "Ooohs and Aaaahs." erupted. This guy was, um big, and I'm not talking shoe size.

"Kyle. How did that thong stay on?"

"Glue. Lots of glue."

He got a rather large men's ring with a huge diamond in the setting.

Jacob took the mic. "First place for a single woman is Violet and her Violin playing Paganini Caprice #1."

She only took a moment to get up on stage. By the color dental floss she was wearing along with her pasties, I saw where she got her name. She received a diamond necklace and earring set.

Ruth was back, "First place for a Lesbian couple is Duel Ballerina Veil Dance." A couple of minutes passed with heads turning and whispering. A faint voice cried out, "Found them. They were in the ladies' room. They're coming."

Were there two statements with two meanings or three meanings? Light laughter filled the room.

Stacy grinned. "I wish I was a fly on the wall in that bathroom." She kissed me.

"Or a couple in the next stall." We made out until we heard, "Thank you ladies for gracing us with your magnificent bodies." Tall, 6 foot at least, hair in a bun, and six see-thru veils left on each of them. Maybe six.

"Wow. I'd do them." My Stacy said that? I kissed her and we were floating among the stars. I never heard what they won.

"First Place for a Gay couple, Acrobats doing the tango."

Who cares? More necking, to make up for years apart. "Stacy, mmm."

"Yth mmm."

I broke lip lock. "I love you, so much, and I always have."

Lip lock again. "Mmmm ditto." More kissing, eyes closed, lots of tongue. Hands roaming back and forth, up and down. Floating on a cloud, making love..."

"Hey, wake up you two. You won."

"Won what, door prize?"

"No, Best Mixed Couple. They're calling for you to come up."

We looked at each other, held hands, and started making our way to the stage. A lot of pats on the back, caresses of the four lower cheeks, cheers of congrats.

"Here they are finally, First Place Mixed Couple, "Elvira gets a Lap dance."" Lots of cheers, wolf whistles, and clapping.

Ruth was talking now. "This performance was the hottest I have ever seen, anywhere. How did you get those moves? So fluid, almost as if you are..."

"He is!" A fake hundred dollar bill was handed to her.

"Yes, he is. The Black Tie Lounge, over on the north of town."

"So how long have you been, um, dancing?"

"One year in training and waiting tables. I practiced with a dance coach in the morning. Six months ago, one of the main dancers got married, everyone else got bumped up. I get at least two parties a month."

"Elvira. How much practicing did you two do?"

"None. I didn't know where he worked. He's a great dancer. He's also a good kisser."

"Both of you were magic tonight."

"The patron of this annual orgy and owner of Club "O" is someone who wishes to remain anonymous. He has had this statue in his possession for many years. He has sent it up every year on the chance there would be a performance worthy enough to give it away." Two men came on stage carrying something covered by a sheet and set it down.

"Lady Elvira and her stripper." The sheet was removed, slowly. "I present to you, LAP DANCE."

The crowd was clapping and cheering. Stacy jumped into my arms squealing, "Oh my God! Oh my God!"

I stared, in shock. Damn! Sherman. That man has his fingers in everything in this town.

I arranged to have the statue transported to Stacy's house. We went to the food court and were bombarded with luscious odors. We ate, grabbed some champagne, and walked around holding hands. When we got back to the entrance, we stopped and looked at each other. She smiled and I read her mind. "OK. Let's go." I got my cape back and pulled a cell phone out of the pocket.

"Hey, George. We're ready to go."

"Yes, hurry, George. I'm taking him home with me."

Thirty minutes later, she was unlocking her front door. Roger and Consuela came out of the kitchen.

"Look at my ring. He's courting me. We're going to go up and sleep. If the girls come back here, they can have my big bed cuz we're sleeping in my queen bed. Love you, Daddy. Love you, Consuela."

We went up, Stacy going first dragging me. The queen bed had four posts and a canopy draped over it.

She kissed me, the kiss, the greatest kiss ever. How great?

Since the invention of the kiss there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind.

I guess Halloween's over now. Good thing, I don't think I could stay awake one more minute.

"Strip."

I'm not tired anymore.