All Comments on 'Irish Eyes'

Great story, and thank you so much for sharing your talents.

Would love a sequel

Absolutely great story. Nothing better than a true love story…..

wonderdul story,well written

Great story!! Would love to see how the relationship evolves.

Really loved this story and the way you developed the characters and their insecurities along the way, but I kind of felt the ending was a bit rushed. Would love if there was more to this story and these two lovely characters!

Great story and developed well.

5*…but that ending. Kinda abrupt, wasn’t it? After all the emotion and passion that went before I think I have whiplash from that crash landing!

Liked your first, shorter tale. Although others may disagree with my opinion about this story, I thought this piece was flat in comparison — too long on background narrative, short on details when needed (e.g., Ciara boyfriend relationship), and even love making was not as urgent as hoped after waiting so long. For what it is worth: Thought you could have shortened quite a bit the background and quickened the tension between the two — not till end do we realize Ciara’s dilemma/painful history with boyfriend/family view. The shooting was actually bit strange — boyfriend tries to kill former girlfriend but we really know nothing about that relationship, and after fact explanation is dry. Again, too much detail/narrative around doctor/patient situation. You have a great storyline (exception of boyfriend shooting), but this reader got bogged down in detail; story could have been shortened quite a bit especially with interesting protagonists. Liked the story, but not that much.

Were you too lazy to type 'through', instead of the awful text-speak style 'thru' thruout? Put me off the whole story.

With all respect for the determination, work, and talent that went into this story, you are a gifted storyteller, but a questionable journaist. You are a five-star storyteller, but the times that you drove me completely batshit by oscillating back and forth between past tense and present tense in the same paragraph make you a three-star writer. For god's sake if things flow out of you so fast you can't tell what tense you're in, or you just don't know the difference, get a fucking editor, or even just use Grammarly. It's not perfect, but at least it'll keep you grammatically straight. I loved the story, and will read anything you write. 4 Stars.

Always like a happy ending!

you had me at irish "r" & green eyes. everything else became noise after that

This needs a part 2

This was a very nice story, however for me there were gaps in time that could have been filled in. Also thought the ending was way to quick. 7 pages of setting the scene and half page of them being a couple. Would liked it to go on a little further.

Quibbles: I assume O'Shae is an Americanisation of O'Shea but I've never seen the former used in Ireland. There is also an indigenous version of football so Ciara would be fine with it being called soccer.

Other than that it's pretty lazy and trope driven!

I kind of agree with slurpy s comment i realy liked your storry but the end seemed rushed

Thank you for a lovely storry

I hope that’s not the end. There was too much build up and emotion to just end it there .. I hope chapter 2 is in the works. That was a great story .. you’re a very talented writer… thanks for this …

You are a gifted writer and your characters come to life. However, the pacing of your story was uneven and the ending seemed rushed. Nevertheless, I look forward to seeing more from you.

Fabulous fabulous story, more please.

Lovely read I agree with others the end was a little rushed but a wonderful tale nonetheless.

I liked it, and I give you full marks, but like most of us you could benefit from seeking out a good editor to bounce things off of. That said, I really did enjoy this story!

Great story. The pacing seemed uneven. I am glad C can't remember what happened. Getting shot by an ex-lover does not bode well for a persons' sanity.

You started out with a wedding, but you didn't finish with it. In other words the story didn't come full circle. Got maybe 3 and 3 quarters into it and said, "I am done"

Comments are what writing to the public are for, to hone your skills, learn from others, and get better. Somebody once said "when I edit my work, I wait a few weeks and read it, I find more mistakes that way" You are good, but if you aspire to it, you can be better.

Take Care

Loved it, would have love to see the proposal and what happened to the ex, still a 5