Iron

I wanted to talk today about a previous session I experienced at his hands. Memorable because it was different, and is one of those moments that has become firmly etched into my mind. So much so, I penciled my impression of it shortly afterward. This event took place early July, and I find in my mind I keep coming back to it, reviewing it as it were. I guess because it was different, disturbingly so.

A few nights before I had apologized to him for my series of accusations. Hefty ones that they were. He bore them as he bore most things that befell him, with a stoic facade, coupled at times with a humorous grin that I could so happily embellish his wickedness. It was an hour or so before dinner, I could smell the delicious aroma of Elaine's cooking. Her menu of Middle Eastern delights are something for the palette, indeed even my notably fussy one. So understandably I was looking forward to eating.

I should realize that even things I look forward to can sometimes be postponed or even erased by his whims. I think that's probably the worst thing about true power exchange, and the one time when you really have to catch your tongue with a retort, or an angry exchange citing unfairness. This was one such moment.

"Lidia." He simply said as I passed his chair on the way to the garbage can in the garage. He turned from the television and his carafe of wine to look at me. I merely held up the bag of garbage I was escorting, and tried my best to smile. He nodded excusing me, and I left to place it in the trash can.

I stood in the garage some time, pulling back the car cover on Master Kai's red Corvette. My hand running over the driver's side door and alighting on the handle. Thinking his hand had been there so many times, as if connecting with the places he touched we could in some way join us again in opposing worlds. I sighed as I dropped the cover back over the shining red bodywork.

I had lingered as long as I dared before I reentered the room. He was waiting for me. Sensing his mood I sunk to my knees before him, hoping my supplication would keep this short. His hand on my shoulder urging me to stand in wordless command. I did as he wished.

The sting of fear as he pressed me to the basement stairs. Not before dinner, please....... I paused as he urged me on with a push of his hand. There were no words exchanged. A heightened sense of shame and self awareness as I descended the stairs before him. My cheeks coloring, I did not look up when we reached the place he had instructed me to stand.

Why the fuck do I do this shit?........

He was looking in his box of tricks. One thing I hated about this man was he possessed many devices specifically designed to cause misery. Master Kai had been more spontaneous. Using in the majority that which was at hand, every day objects. Both could be cruel and frightening, but Master Kai had possessed a distinct repertoire which I had become accustomed to. With this man however you never knew what to expect.

He selected a weighty, rigid iron shackle, designed to hold wrists and ankles in a straight line, and walked back casually toward me as though he was doing nothing out of the ordinary or threatening. It takes practice to be a sadist I thought. "Let me put this on you girl." He said softly, with no hint of malice.

I don't want to wear that......

"If you are calm Lidia, this will go easy on you understand. Just lay down on your back and let me put it on." He stroked me on the side of the face.

I don't want to..........This isn't smart.

I hesitated, he waited.

I'm supposed to trust him.........But I don't......

Finally I disrobed and lay with my back on the hard, cool floor. It would not do to delay too long. Perhaps if I did try hard to keep calm this would go easier like he said. He bent down, he seemed pleased. "Good girl," he soothed. He proceeded to fasten the hinged device about my ankles and wrists securing it with a central Allen bolt. He was gentle. It was heavy, cruel, and did not allow me to move really at all. I lay there prone to his desires looking up at him.

He began to pace about me regarding me from various angles. I heard Nadra calling for dinner. He looked toward the stairwell and back at me. "I will be back shortly." I hated him then, but tried hard to press down my anger. I was afraid at the damage I would do to myself in this device should I lose my control. That possibility was always there, and I feared it.

I lay on my back, there was little else to do but look up at the joists in the ceiling above examining the duct work and pipes. I waited as I missed out on a delicious dinner. My back on the hard surface began to bother me quite swiftly, something nameless was digging into my right shoulder. A pebble perhaps or some rough concrete? I tried to move to ease it but it only served to make it worse. I thought to myself slaves of old spent many hours shacked in irons like this, how did they do it? I already knew that answer, because they had to.

In my mind I had figured him out. He had done this because he wanted something from me, and on his return he was going to ask for it in return for my freedom. I hoped it was nothing I was not prepared to easily give.......

Mindless gazing, gazing at nothing to fill the time. All the while my ears straining, hoping for his return. The downward force of the metal brace was beginning to take its toll. My legs curled up were beginning to twinge in this confinement. I longed to stretch out, even just for a brief moment. He took so long to return.

When he did he was my only focus. I lay in misery waiting eagerly for the delivery of the question, so I could agree, then he could free me, and it would all be over. He again walked about me, but to my fright did not say one word.

You want something.......Say IT!

I was beginning to feel serious discomfort. He knew that but he did not let on. He bent down and touched my nipples. I screamed at the sensation and struggled, the irons hurt and dug into me. "I would not do that my love." He caressed in a voice of velvet. I ceased fighting and lay still. "That's better."

Ask the fucking question! My mind screamed.......

I moaned as his middle finger invaded me, followed by his index finger. He had a look of consternation on his face.

What the fuck, ask the question!

He didn't say a word. All he did was proceed to examine my insides with the tips of his fingers, when he hit the old scar tissue I squealed. He spent some time engrossed in this inglorious examination of my ruined insides. At that moment I would have paid any price to know what he was thinking.

A muscle spasm in the arch of my foot. Faint but threatening, a panicked feeling. I looked up at him crouched above me with pleading eyes. I opened my mouth but closed it again in a silent plea.

I will not be weak.........I will not beg.......

He smiled, he was attuned to the fight, he had missed nothing in my struggle. "If you would let me do this Lidia, without a struggle. I'd not have to use this." I looked away, at that moment I hated him as much as he loved me.