All Comments on 'Isabel, The Beauty Next Door Pt. 01'

Great story hope to see the next chapter very soon.

Looking forward to more.

Please let me know what you think. Although I have a plan of where these characters are going. Don't be shy in telling me what you would do.

The trouble with spelling and grammar mistakes is they distract from a good story. I nearly stopped after grown, which should be groan. Try to get someone to proof-read a spell check will only check the word is spelled correctly, it doesn't look at the context.

Also your = belongs to you, you're = you are.

Despite this, looking forward to part 2

Sure, maybe it’s a bit contrived to have two previously antisocial people both basically have love at first sight, but the story is interesting, and the pacing and level of detail are good

Unfortunately, I didn’t get a chance to warn you in time before the first complaints about homophones came in. But by having the grown / groan error in the first paragraph of the story, maybe you’ll scare those people off. (Supposedly, there’s a relatively small percentage of people who even catch things like that, like 10% or so). Besides the your / you’re, there was also a to / too, An of / off, and another one that I’m forgetting but It was not one of the commonly swapped pairs

Anyway, if you have a grammar checker in whatever you’re using to write, you might want to try that.

But, even if you don’t, I’d still love to read the rest of the story

Has makings of a great story. Looking forward to more,hope it lives up to potential and also we dont have to wait weeks between postings. Agree to certain extent about spelling,is a little offputting but can be easily sorted. Well done Bamo68.

Thank you for the constructive criticism. Believe it or not I will take it on board, and try to get someone to proof read for me. I am working full time, but am over half way through PT 2. I am pleased to see most of you enjoyed my first effort.

Cheers

You’ve acknowledged the need to improve the grammar which should benefit the future chapters.

Character development is good, pace is excellent. A likable warm feeling has developed making this an enjoyable read.

Looking forward to the next installment.

Thanks for the story.

I am sure you have a great story to tell, but the bad grammar and lack of proofreads is really hurting the end product.

The other problem is that you need to make the story flow. There are to many disjointed sentences and some don't really stand alone.

I hope you can get this fixed in your new episodes.

The story might be interesting if it wasn't for these problems.

As others have pointed out, you need an editor. It is very difficult to proof your own work. I enjoyed the read and the plot so far and am about to embark on the second part. I gave you a 5, because you deserve encouragement, and I look forward to your future efforts.

I gave you 5 stars. It's your first effort and I know it's hard to proofread your own work and probably even harder to find a good editor. Your characters are so darn likeable and you write with humour. For me, that's what makes it worth 5 stars. I've read this before but had to review because I have a short memory.

Thinking it might be time for part 2? I hate that full time work thing:)

this isnt real? sadge pepe frog :C look it up emoji

"Letting out a grown" that's as far as I got. Get an editor. I've read your other stories, and managed to get past the various spelling and grammatical errors. Not this time.

It sire would be nice if authors would complete stories before starting another. Incomplete stories are rated 1 star across the board,

the writing is a mess - grammar, mixed povs, etc. - could do with an editor.

I'm arriving very late to the party, so I won't rehash comments about grammar and needing an editor, as other posters addressed that. I will say that the comma splices and pronoun errors took away from how the reading flowed, forcing the reader to stop and figure out what you intended.

Otherwise, I also agree about the story characters in general, although I hoped Isabel would have been a Spaniard. However, she does affect James positively and he indeed asserts himself because of her; these items create a compelling story and sell the tale well.

I will continue reading to see where this goes. 3

This is a rehash of a story from at least 5 years ago. We’re you the original writer?

"I sit Sarah and I down between Isabel, and Bradly making Bradly scoot right up."

1. to sit someone down between isabel you'd have to split the poor girl up.

2. Bradly making Bradly do something is nice to read, but one would presume that he is not THAT detached to himself, right?

3. not in this example: do not switch grammatical times every second moment. you either write in present or in past tense; anything that happens before or after the main plot may be written in the respective perfect or future tense.

4. let the reader know who said what. it is very confusing if you put the quotation of character A (which you mentioned in the previous paragraph) into the same paragraph with the wordless action of character B.

5. get yourself an editor. a thorough, patient, passible editor. please.

so im guessing college and university are diff things in the UK? from context im guessing college is high school