All Comments on 'Isabel, The Beauty Next Door Pt. 05'

Funniest sentence ever…

“I switch sides and repeat the menstruating.”

Did you mean ministrations?

Sorry about that, my fault for not rereading and rushing it out. I am hanging my head in shame. At least you got a laugh at my expense. I hope it doesn't ruin the story for you.

A beautiful, tender, heartwarming story, told with kindness and love towards all the players. I'm now up to date on the episodes, and rate them all 5 stars. When I started I was expecting more of a hard-core porn approach, but instead it's a tender romance that leaves me liking the characters and wanting to know them all better. Good work!

The are still issues with the mechanics of your writing, the good news is that these seem to be getting better as the story progresses. Apparently what you need most is experience, and *proofreading*. A lot of the errors look like auto-correct gone wild, and those could be caught fairly easily with another critical look over before you hit submit. Believe me, I've committed plenty of these sins myself.

There's still a tendency to randomly stumble between present and past tense, but that one's getting better as you go.

Keep writing, you're doing well, and with time and care, you'll get even better!

I only have one concern. When will the next chapter be uploaded

You were doing so well till the crash on the bridge. everything else had a natural flow. Then melodrama of the worst kind. Find an editor friend. What a fuck up. And I am a fan till then...oh dear.

Love this story but slightly confused you said Isabel was going to taunton with her parents and they dropped james off. Then suddenly isabel and her mum are still at home?

Hi, just reread that part. Maybe it's because I have the full story in my head. I meant it to read that Isabel went home for an early night and James managed to get a lift in the morning. Saving the bus ride. I am pleased you are enjoying the story. Thank you for reading and leaving your comment.

Great story hope to see the next chapter very soon.

I really liked the story. It has a strong sense of place and the characters seem whole and believable. I’ll second the comment about the car crash at the end. There are so many ways 18 yr olds struggle with relationships that it wasn’t needed. If the story needed James to be injured I could see the bullies come back for an unfair round three. Maybe with a car!

The other trope of a half over heard conversation starting a relationship disaster seemed very out of character for Isabel. I could see her being mad and demanding an explanation but struggle with the idea of her shutting down like that.

As a side note, designers like you’ve made James almost always have a notebook with them and are constantly doodling.

I appreciate how the story explores the impact of sexual assault on a young woman and it’s ongoing effects. Also, bringing in the impact of unwanted male gaze on woman. The only comment about unwanted male gaze I’ll add is the male characters don’t need to be the level of foul you gave them for it to impact the female characters. Many of the worst male group behavior is when decent guys are being oblivious to the discomfort they are causing and egging each other on.

You need editing badly.

Most of your mistake are just lazy computer spelling that screws the grammar up enough to be severely annoying.

I have resisted giving any points for that reason.

Not for much longer though.

It's a shame because the story is good.

I suggest that you try using Grammarly. https://www.grammarly.com/ It's free and it will catch most of you annoying spelling and grammar errors. That will automatically boost you to one of the best writers.

Wasn't expecting that!

This is one of your best cook-ups yet !

“My cook rises to the occasion”

Really love the simple youthful passion you portray, BUT, get the proofreading sorted & perhaps concentrate on one storyline at a time. Still it’s * * * * * from me

I am enjoying your story, and you writing style. I have to keep reading!