All Comments on 'Isabelle & Simon Ch. 04'

Yep, the reconnection is set, and the character development continues to build to prepare us for the next baited hook. The further development of Rachel is a nice touch to the relationship. Nothing like a hint of jealousy to get things ramped up a tad.

Nice work keep it up. I take it you cannot change the chapter length until after chapter 7. What is in the pipeline is set. Ok.

But after 7 please give some consideration on longer chapters, it is better for the fans.

Looking forward to Chapter 5.

Scores 5/5

ok THIS was worth it. love it.

Awesome chapter, I loved it. Also much longer then the previous chapters which was nice.

Oh yes, so far so good. I loved this chapter, both for it's increased length and because Simon is so amazing! So glad Izzy has started to change for the better! This draws so many parallels for me with Simon and Isabelle's relationship from Shadowhunters, which makes me love this series even more!

As a 19 year old, American girl. I wish I could find my own Simon! 5 Stars from me and keep going with the series! The chapters are a bit short but since you are uploading them pretty quickly I don't mind so much. It's better by far then waiting a month just to get a new chapter with some of the other series I follow!

Of course as soon as Isabelle comes around now Rachel has the hots for Simon!! I can only imagine what she does to guys she gives her number to!

Hi, I've favorably commented and rated your previous chapters, so I hope you'll take this as a positive thing...

Work on your dialog. Isabelle sounded far too grown up, too analytical, almost like a police officer describing the case.

Here's a suggestion; say your dialog out loud, put it in your own words.

I'm enjoying the series.

Loved the series so far.

Though there are a few parts in which a character just drones on, this seems to be an absolutely amazing storyline. I would recommend that you have a decent conclusion for each story, regardless of its length.

Keep up the good work!

Thanks so much man, appreciate the kind words as well as the feedback. Also yes that’s entirely true, nothing before chapter 7 can really be changed much. With that being said, I will try to increase the length of the chapters from chapter 8. Thanks again!

Glad you think so! Thanks man.

Thanks mate!

Hey thanks so much for all the kind words, I really appreciate it, Glad you’re enjoying the series and hopefully you will enjoy the next chapter to!

Thanks man, haha just imagine!

Thanks for the feedback! We were actually going for that effect with Isabelle’s speech in this chapter. It’s a very hard to describe or talk about experience for her, especially being still so fresh in her mind. Hence why we went with a more analytic speech manner when she was describing the events that occurred to her. Hope that clarifies things a bit and you enjoy the next chapter as well!

Thanks so much! Glad to hear you’re loving the storyline so much. I’m trying to ensure each chapter is done as well as possible and ends at a good point. So hopefully I’m accomplishing that. Hope to see you on the new chapter when it’s out!

MentalCase is a superb writer, who has done this for much longer then me. This is my first series and while it may feel kind of similar to you the storyline is my own and is based on what I want to happen in the series. As I mentioned to another commentor I would suggest you checkout my bio and or join MentalCase’s discord server.

Chapter 5 was submitted on the 13/06/2021 so not sure why its taking so long to post but I do apologize for the delay by the Lit Gods.

Hope you have a great day!

So I was probably reading this during the week it was submitted because there's not an existing vote here like the first three chapters already had from me⁸. I have no doubt that I had become frustrated by the single page submissions posting up so slowly and decided to walk away from it until more was available to read in a single sitting.

I'm certain that I probably made an excellent choice by walking away and saved myself a ton of grief. Today is just two months less than TWO YEARS since Chapter Five was sitting in the approval queue awaiting publication. Chapter Eleven just published during this current week. If the pattern holds true, then that's Eleven Pages over the course of roughly 23 months!!! Seriously?

I've currently got TWO serials that I'm working on plus a large number of other stuff submitted over the past year and a half. Considering that most of my submissions run 6 to 8 pages or more, I've totally left you in the dust. 🤔 I've had several people complain that my updates take too long between submissions and I worried over that. I don't feel quite as bad about it now. 🙃

Your story is not bad, but you should either work harder on it or find a way to wrap it up so that you can just call it finished and walk away. 4/5