All Comments on 'Island Adventure'

cucks get one star

I guess Aristotle was already taken!

5

Sigh

Writer is one of those who wants me to use my imagination to fill the gaps again

Sigh.

ugh....so he just rolls over?

" I never will again. "

well she wasn't suppose to the first time. Next it's going to be "I will never a third time."

Staying with a cheater is like buying a brand new car and later finding out it has a rebuilt title but you keep it anyaway for...hell I don't know why.

Nother great tale from a great author. Really enjoyed how you flipped this trued and rather tired meme to a partially failed test and subsequent forgiveness. Enjoyed the flip and the surprise ending.

5 stars

An interesting and original take on the plot (smug rich guy tries to take wife). This works very well as it is well-written and, in the context of your universe, believable. Plato lost a banker of an author in exchange for no sex. I particularly liked the revenge achieved through his next story, very neat. Thank you for posting it.

Strange. Why did Ellen become their aunt? And why did Erin think that her husband would be ok for just one weekend? Another whore and a jerk for a boss/owner who thinks he can do whatever he wants. BS

Great twist on an old loving wives trope.

My only criticism is you skipped over the fight at the end. It would've been satisfying to read about the rich douchebag getting a broken nose and a couple of black eyes.

Why would anyone stay with a false woman like Erin? Don could easily do better. The story was good until Erin walked in after spending the night on the Island. After all that happened Don immediately takes her back and they live happely ever after. Did that author have to finish the story in a rush?

All's well that ends well, I suppose buy I sure as hell wouldn't have taken Erin back knowing that she had taken iart in such a conspiracy against me. I found the ending a bit puzzling too. Good read, though.

You ruined what was a good story with 'Aunt Ellen' at the end.

Loved this one. The narrative flowed well as well as the plot progression. Sometimes your stories contain some “clunky” narrative, but this one was spot on. While you warned us the central plot was a well worn trope, the intermixing of his character the story events was a brilliant twist. 5*

GREAT STORY!!!!!!!!!!!

10 stars!! I'd have dumped Erin's ass.If she let that scumball fuck her, after knowing the situation, the slut would fuck anybody. Should have dumped her ass and got Ellen and turned er into a baby factory... Wonderful story, please write part 2...

nice twist at the end

I can see it but the betrayal began long before the island. Its not just the sex but all the things up to the sex. You didn't portray it but Erin would have been way more involved with Plato than she admitted, more conversations than she told, more lunches, more touches, more kisses. Sure, she didn't screw the guy but she hid that pretty easily. The problem for me is the lack of guilt for her behavior rather than guilt for almost losing her marriage. Other writers manage to make that distinction in their stories. If that's supposed to be here then I just don't see it. It's not that i object to the reconciliation. I merely find it surprising.

I sort of agree that he had to test her loyalty by going and I agree with his leaving when she even suggested the swap. I disagree with the keeping her. Before they even left for the island she stated that had she gone alone she most likely would have sex with Plato. To me, that is enough to show no trust. Not sure about a divorce but a post cup would be written, finds moved around, no kids. But then, that is not much of a marriage.

Now we'll have to wait for the other story. This was fun

I am curious who Ellen is...I assume it was Elle after a name change?

All said and done an enjoyable tale.

Sincerely,

Payenbrant

What!? You just tossed that one off while working on another story? Admittedly, the story line wasn’t very creative, but you made good use of the template. Thanks for taking the time to do so. Looking forward to your next tale.

Ive enjoyed all your stories. Thanks

Wtf

Need the whole other story

what happened after he left? How did Ellen fit in some years later? Did the author lose interest in finishing the story about the time that the greek hit the water? Really needs an ending / or probably a second chapter.

No, simple no! Why should he ever trust her again? Just because he gets Ellen as a "special prize"? Whores like these are a dime a dozen! You told the story in a very interesting way and you let your protagonist be clear and concise and yet you caved in at the end, why? 3*!

whole nother story. can't soon i hope. Eilen and Erin are friends. Go figure. miracles can happen

I envy anyone who can read this without skimming. I want to be in a fool's paradise, too.

I'm sorry, the weekend away with the boss so that the boss can seduce the wife is kind of overdone. And of COURSE hubby just gets an escort, while his wife fucks the boss that he'll have to deal with, maybe not daily in this case, but still.

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"Her lips brushed past my ear during the hug." - If it turns out later that she said something here, and we're not being told, that's a cheat.

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"He has as much chance of getting me as she does of getting you." - Even if Elle DOES get him, the two situations are different, as noted above.

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If he has so little trust that he felt the need to test her, than they're already done.

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When Plato wouldn't eat or drink Donald's dessert and water, that should have ended things right there.

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"Well, okay, I had to hang from the plane's pontoon and climb aboard the plane" - I don't know if it was intentional, but this made me think of "Raiders of the Lost Ark."

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I thought the wife was going to be Elle.

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"Forget you, she could have me." - I wonder if they ended up as a threesome!

Good. But now you’ve set the hook: when is that “another story” due?

I take it Elle changed her name to Aunt Ellen Another good story from Demander.

Good story, I like the twist at the end and look forward to a sequel

Thanks for writing

These aren't books, we have a few pages to read. I don't understand why writers pick characters with almost the same names. Here we have Erin and Elle. Is it just me? I hate getting lost while I'm reading and asking myself, which one we reading about. Keep it simple. Even Fuck 1 and Fuck 2 would be easier!

Well I usually find these kinds of stories interesting and this was no exception. It was well done with interesting characters though I really don't know how Erin could be trusted.

I appreciated the read this morning. Thank you.

Erin was a cheating slut. His getting Elle as salve for Erin injuring him would be fitting.

There could be a lot more to this. Well done

Oh come on! You can’t end it like that!!

I expected Don to write a book about it to shame Plato. I also thought you would include more drama though, I thought when Don sent his book ending to his editor Sally, he would fill her in and see if she could gather other authors from the publisher to stage a walkout or something,

I also thought Simon would have a bigger role in the story as well considering the conversation on the boat.

BUT! The 10 year jump and Disney ending with Elle somehow now in Don and Erin’s lives?!?! Where the hell did that come from?

So was that supposed to the colluding Elle from the island or is she a new character named Ellen? The same name as your three year old daughter?

Hated the ending. Hopefully he has cameras installed at both her stores. Despite all, she is still a closet slut. Am looking forward to continuation and explanation though. But your track record for finishing stories is a bit spotty.

An interesting story, Erin ran right up to the edge of the cliff and even stumbled at the edge. I don't think she fell off from the description in the story, but i'm guessing it was a very, very near thing.

Only confusing part was the names between Erin and Ellen, I had to re-read the names a couple of times to make sure I was reading the right characters.

Great story well done!

The plot line required the hero to take his star struck wife to Plato's island, but it just did not sell. No man, knowing what the hero knew would put his wife into that sexual cauldron. Average at best.

That was a LOT of fun!! Thank you!

Third child named after the escort? I guess that IS another story?

How did Plato re-hire Don after he had fired him? Very tightly written story. Tension maintained very well.

This story was going to retire the trophy for this plot idea but then you just HAD to get clever at the end. 🙄

A very nice telling of a good plot. I have to say the similar name for the ladies gave my old brain a challenge

5* Enjoyed the story! Post-Nup = Great Idea!

Had to read the ending three times. Good story. Thanks.

Ed

Fix the tags.

Good, did not like the end. He should have ended up with Ellen and with Erin in the wind.

I'm sorry -- I don't get it, i.e. the ending. I really hope it isn't some polyamory or weird 3-something set-up for a sequel. That aside, I enjoyed the piece. It was a unique take on the theme.

The story was going good until the very end. Why couldn't you simply end it instead of bringing Elle back as Auntie? So now we have a story that NOT finished! That dropped you 2 points from me.

I really found the story enjoyable. Perhaps as I grew up with the old Mickey Splane books. 5* for old times sake!

Great story. Hope there is a table about Ellen

Now he has two slits in his life

I sort of liked it...

Because of the ending - it appears that Ellie/Ellen succeeded in seducing Erin. And the MC may have seduced Ellie.

Much more fun than the boilerplate.

Green-something

Interesting tale.

I like the way the author gives us detail, but not too much.

Make a for a tighter story. That is a sign of a good writer.

Okay, Ellen in 10 years...

Did she reestablish contact after the weekend to apologize and say Plato was a jerk and became a good family friend?

Or after establishing contact and apologizing, did she become their polamory lover..after all she did appeal to both?

The MC's point in all this is "no cheating".

But does that mean no SHARING?

The reader can make up their own ending....PG-13 or X-rated.

I'm glad I'm not the only one confused with the end.

@DB71 ans Gram1, I think that this line from Erin looking out the window at Elle: "Forget you, she could have me," is a strong hint that maybe there is some sharing going on.

sexual compatibility does not make a marriage, it helps, but trust and respect are crucial. She took that away from the marriage and you did nothing to show how or why they survived.

Then the ending 10 years later made no sense.

How about this. He got home, threw what mattered to him in the car and ghosted that bitch. Went overseas and left his lawyer to handle the divorce

Strange ending to a good tale. One kid named Ellen. A pre nup. 10 year and the beautiful escort knocks on their door. So what’s that all about! Really unfinished and to much left out. Do you write a part 2???

Well written story with an unusual ingredient: suspense. I never could be sure til the end how it would turn out. And I guess I never really will. I do wonder how Erin got home so soon after Donald did, but that's not important. The mystery of how Elle (turned Ellen) got into their lives is probably worth a story in itself. But what's left is certainly worth a 4*

Good read until the end, then I got lost. A sequel in works?

the end ruined what was otherwise a decent story.

Pretty dumb and u skipped the major reconciliation part.. The scheming and disrespect on her part might not deserve a divorce but it shouldn't of been that easy. I guess that part was left out when u skipped it at the end. Also the boss deserves to get his due as well. I mean the hubby could've recorded their convos and let the world see what kinda of man the boss was, if he cared about his reputation. Didn't need to be a full BTB but he got off Scott free.

A really decent job on what the author admitted was a well worn trope. The implication was that tne leverage Plato had on Don’s career was significant enough that he folded under pressure to agree to the island weekend. That said, obviously he had a plan, as the sending for a seaplane to come get him near the end demonstrated.

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As most commenters have already opined, Erin pretty much crossed the line for them even before the dramatics on the Island. But in the story, Don clearly drew his own line: “fuck him and we’re done”. So while most would have dumped Erin before the Island visit, that was NOT what Don was doing. Presumably he was simultaneously trying to save both his job and his marriage. Hence…he agreed to go and put Erin to the test.

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Which, in my opinion, she still failed with her adamant pressure to get Don to let her fuck Plato, while she was OK with him screwing Ellie. That clearly proved that she strongly wanted to fuck outside the marriage. That flunks the test, IMHO.

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But it was well written, and consistent, and entertaining. But lost a ⭐️ for that silly ending showing a happy household 10 years hence, with “Aunt Ellen” showing up. Such a huge non-sequetor! So unnecessary!

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4 ****

Enjoyed that. An old trope l grant you, but fun nevertheless .

Given the strange ending, is there to be another chapter

Scores 5/5

Hope this little gem gave you the space and inspiration to finish the other story you were working on. Cannot wait to read that as well, sounds dark, l like dark.

4 stars and the only things that saved it were:

1. I really liked the way he managed to escape the island

2. apparently, Elle did not have sex with the ASSHOLE (although not verified or spelled out)

3. the pre-nupt (no infidelity) BEFORE they have children

However, the ending makes no sense at all.

""Donnie, can we please....can we see what happens? And, you know we always had great sex. We'd both miss that. We can keep that up while you spend the rest of your time not trusting me."

This is the "Fuck'em till the Forget" dodge. Instead of hashing out and resolving the real root of the relationship issues, the characters just fuck then sweep everything under the rug.

I will never understand this author's obsession with writing a top notch story then fucking it up at the end.

Sooooooo, did she fuck him ot not?😏... I noticed this wasn't asked or answered... you will never get me to believe with all the wife's planning with Plato, all that hot and bothered ness he had her. she suddenly changed her mind.. despite the numerous warnings of what would happen if she slept with Plato, she still fixes her dick suckers to say, "it's just for the weekend" momday we go back to normal...when he left did she find another place to stay? Why didn't she chase after her husband?😏.. why didn't she get off the island with her husband after seeing how upset he got? No sir, I don't believe she didn't just go ahead and fuck'd good Ole Plato once her wimp husband was gone... she'd been looking forward to it..

I like the the ending ,,it leave me hanging 😊

Wow! Demander is getting better. He didn’t go off the rails until the last couple of paragraphs.

I don't get the ending.

Seems there's been several of these Going To Fuck Someone Special Just For The Weekend stories. Were they all engendered by The Bridge? This version was OK, I guess, but didn't add anything original of substance. If your spouse decided to rob a bank, just one time, just for the experience, would you think any less of their virtue or morals? How is the betrayal of committing adultery supposed to be measured with a clock, or a calendar? Overall a very simple minded, even vapid, premise. Guess the desire to write dramatically sometimes over comes the intelligence to write convincingly. It would have made more sense if the 10-year epilogue revealed Elle to now be his wife; she Never planned and anticipated betraying him, Erin did. Whatever, the ending was no worse than the main body of the story. Thanks for the effort.

What the actual fuck?!?

Huh?

Learn to use pronouns correctly...unless you are using this bit of illiteracy to announce you are a feminist woketard: "Everyone has their strengths."

So, Erin's cunt overcomes all. Another weak, needy, cuckish husband character. 1

That was very good. I was pleased that neither succumbed to temptation and stayed married to start a family. I'm not sure what Ellen's appearance means, but I don't really care. 5 stars

you first kid belong to plato , you are a stupid man .and your wife a whore .

Great story, except for the unexplained presence of Elle at the end. . 5 stars.

Too many lose ends. How did Ellen get back to his family? How did he learn to trust Erin, again? Usually, I like this author but this story left too much untold. A 2.

Meh … just another slut wife that pussy bombed her husband into taking her back. 3/5

It's always funny to see someone, usually Anonymous, talking to the writer like he's the main character of the story... It's also REALLY funny how many writers write about writers, but then again, most writers ARE writers, which is funny to think about.

I like these kinds of stories the most, where the cheating isn't a foregone conclusion. I also love a MC who understands that intent is equal to the deed, but gives second chances... I don't like the truncated reconciliation, I think the strife and trials of a couple who barely escaped an Indecent Proposal would be a GREAT story, and what the hell is Ellen doing there?!

5 stars worth of entertainment in 2 easy pages, minus 1 for the rushed ending.

Full of inconsistencies and contradictory implications.

Dude knew his wife wanted to fuck the asshole. She thought she was home free when MC reacted to the pro, but the MC was strong enough to resist the pro and fucked up the wife’s plans for some strange dick. We are to assume she did not fuck the asshole after the MC split, but how do we know? She had already said she was going to do it, then back pedaled when the MC blew up and took off. Seems to me he took quite a risk in taking her back and then having kids with her. The prenup would be shit with 3 kids in the picture.

Story is well written, thanks for sharing.

A standard 'rich man wants other man's wife' story. I have not written better, or written anything, for that matter, 😉 Still, I am going to give my two cents worth.

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While one can understand why Donnie would be upset that Erin was tempted, by the idea of a "island tryst" with an apparent alluring, seductive, rich man, the fact is, she, seemingly, was not going to do anything with Plato without Donnie's permission, (Nothing was written to indicate the she was in on the attempted drugging). All of humanity gets tempted for something they can not or should not have. Donnie faced temptation, in regards to Ellen. True, he resisted better than Erin, but he was still tempted. So, I am of the opinion that his considering ending the marriage is a drastic step. It would, I think, be more reasonable to first see if the marriage can be saved, via counseling.

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The way the story was going, I had expected Donnie to give Erin an ultimatum. That he had a ride off the island arranged and if she wanted to save their marriage, then she had to leave with him, immediately.

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Not a bad story. An enjoyable read. Thank-you.

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Pasqyal

I've grown weary of the statement, " it's just for one night or weekend and all will return to normal. You'll see", The biggest problem is these husbands actually go to the island or whatever to see what will happen. Ridiculous! This rehash is like eating whip cream filled with crushed glass. I am begging you all, please no more of this. The super naive spouse. Three for the writing. The content is part of the writing so drags your score with it.

Nicely done. Excellent suspense. Good character development. And the good guy wins.

I liked the addition of Ellen at the end. Unless you’re unconscious, it’s obvious she is significant to both Donnie and Erin and has been for quite some time e.g. all the kids greet her enthusiastically, the third child is named after her, and “your room is all set”. I’d like to think she gave up prostitution and regained her self respect. Would you name your child after an active high end prostitute?

The end was not useful to the tale. Nevertheless, I liked the writing, 4 stars, it kept my interest.

Told many times but this one was very well told.

Good writing but why the repeating plot of "just one night"? Just tell her that if she goes to the island, you will file for divorce. Quit your job or finish out the contract. Let the book be underpromoted. Who cares.

It was a 5* until the other woman drove up, ruined the whole thing for me.

5 stars to writer! But I still can't figure out if the wife fucked Plato or not after Hubby left her on the island. I would have expected Plato to fuck her after Hubby left. So what happened? If Hubby left her there Plato would have been on her like flies on shit! Then what was it at the last when that other woman drove up? Great Writing, Great Story. Just wished it was more obvious. thanks.

This one was a DEFINITE "5" from start to finish...

...my only question is if there IS the "whole norther story" somewhere in your catalogue ?

I hope so, and I'm searching for it - diligently !

EastCoaster

Thanks for your writing.

Second time around. I’d like to read that other story, about Elle. You going to do it?

Still 5/5

Fun read! I have the same questions as the other commentators below. Did she fuck Plato? And what's the story with Ellen?

Was going great, and then u have to let her back smh make your stories simple my god

That went down hill fast. She had an emotional fling/affair. They plotted against him to get him to cheat, so that she could. Then after everything has occurred to just be ignored. He stands up to her and she's still trying to get him to go along. Just divorce her already.