It all Started with a Car Crash

"Oh yeah, wait till they see how dumb I am."

She was so insecure, her self esteem was so low. It was at the centre of a lot of her problems.

My day had been a bad one, a couple of domestic violence calls, assisting a real estate agent evict a young family from their home. Sometimes, it was hard to stomach. Justice, yeah, I wondered. I had spent the afternoon trying to get the young family somewhere to stay. Thankfully, the Salvos were able to offer them temporary assistance.

It certainly spoilt the Christmas spirit. Pulling up at the vet, Aroha came bursting out with a huge grin on her face. She bounded into the car breathless. After several moments, she exploded. "I passed, I friggin passed."

There we were, hugging together, bouncing up and down in our seats as she cried tears of joy. "I never thought it would happen," she whispered.

"Oh, I'm proud, I can't believe it. That's such good news. We need to celebrate. Where do you want to go for dinner?"

Her grin said it all. We both yelled, "KFC" together. We sat munching our way through our meals, and Aroha talked incessantly. She was already building a list of things she would need.

At the top of her list was a laptop. She didn't have her own computer; she used mine. At least I now knew what I was getting her for Christmas.

Sometimes, the stars align, sometimes hard work is rewarded. It certainly worked that way for Aroha. When Tainui saw her grades, they approved the grant. They would pay one hundred percent of the course fees and allocated two hundred dollars a week towards her accommodation.

After doing some research, it was obviously never going to be enough. We had to organise a student loan for living expenses and to make up the difference in costs.

After several trips into Hamilton, we finally found her the perfect place. She would be sharing a flat with two other girls. It came with WiFi, electricity, and insurance in the two hundred and fifty dollar cost. It was close to the University, so she could commute easily. One of the girls had a car, so that helped, and the fact Aroha liked them helped.

Christmas day was an amazing day. We had our little Christmas treeoha's face meant there was more waiting. She started ripping off the wrapping paper from her presents. I don't know if she knew I was buying her a laptop, but she zeroed in on it. The moment the paper was shredded and the computer appeared, she shrieked. "Oh fucking hell, Charli!"

She leapt into my arms, knocking us both over. She lay on top of me, staring down into my eyes. "It's too much ya know. You can't afford that."

"I can do what I like."

She leaned down and kissed me. It was just a sweet sisterly kiss, but as our lips touched, my tummy did a flip. My heart started racing a mile a minute.

My eyes closed as I absorbed her essence. She sat up, looking a little shocked. "Sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

Sitting up with her, I rubbed her shoulders. "Hey, it's okay. Just a kiss."

She smiled. "Yeah, but I didn't mean to make ya horny."

I pushed her off me. "You should be so lucky."

Sitting beside me, she whispered, "You didn't have to buy me the computer. It's a lot of money."

"You will need it, I knew if I didn't you would pinch mine."

"How did you know my plan." She giggled evilly.

I opened my present and found she had brought me a beautiful Amethyst crystal. She watched intently as I opened it. "So you like it?" she squealed.

"It's stunning. Oh god, it's fabulous."

"I got you that perfume you like, as well," she added, impatience taking over.

I laughed along with her. "I brought you the same."

Marama turned up for lunch. She brought this beautiful delicious Christmas cake. Aroha took great delight in showing her all her presents and talking about her plans.

Aroha took Milly for a walk after lunch, and Marama and I had a chance to talk. "You have turned that girl around. Thank you, Charli. I was afraid she was going to end up in care."

"She did all the work. I just helped out."

"Don't you lie to me, girl. You done a good thing. She is a completely different child."

"She's special. I hope she will be all right in Hamilton."

"Don't you worry yo sweet little head. I have Whanau in Hamilton. I'll get em to keep an eye on her."

"Thanks, Marama."

It all happened pretty quickly. We borrowed one of my colleague's truck to do the move. It was a sad day, but it should have been a celebration. She was moving on with her life, but I couldn't focus on anything other than I was losing her.

Aroha couldn't stop chattering. She was happy and when she was like that, it was hard to stay gloomy. We had lunch at a small cafe, sitting in a small window table, I said. "This is it; you start the new phase of your life. I am as proud as I can be. You have really made a new life for yourself."

"Shit, girl. Don't talk like that. It's not like we aint gonna see each other no more. Yo gonna visit ain't ya?"

"Try and stop me, but you'll make friends, there will be parties."

"Fuck that shit, I need to know you are gonna visit."

I sniggered. "Yeah, I'm going to visit."

We finished our little creme cakes, and drove into Hillcrest. Her new flat was only about two Kilometres from the campus. The other girls had already cleaned out her room, and the place was overflowing with kids. I noticed some drinking on the rear deck, and I could definitely smell the pungent aroma of weed.

Aroha saw me frowning as my nose twitched. She rushed over for a hug. "Please don't make a fuss. Don't embarrass me, I gotta live here."

"Relax, I wasn't going to say anything. Listen, Aroha. I know you're going to bump into this stuff, and I'm not saying not to enjoy your time here, but don't let this stuff get in the way of your studies. You have the rest of your life to party."

She kissed my cheek. Chill, Momma, I am focused on getting through this."

"Yeah well, you better. Momma bears can get pretty feisty."

She giggled. "Watch this." She walked out onto the back deck and said to the gathered group of friends. "Hey guys, this is Charli, she's my mate, but what you might not know is, she's a cop."

One young guy who was about to pass the joint he was holding along the line, stood quickly. "Oh fuck. Sorry."

I laughed at his comical attempts to hide the joint.

"You are okay. I'm not busting anybody for smoking pot. Let me tell you though. If I find out any of you are fooling around with meth, or anything like that. I'll kick your arses."

Aroha gave me a hug. "She ain't joking, she got a rep for being a bad arse in Toke. So don't fuck with her."

We set up her room, assembled her bed, hung some photos. Before I knew it, we were done. It was time to go.

We hugged tightly, our bodies crushed together. "Be careful, Aroha. This isn't little old Toke."

She held me tightly. "Don't fret it, Sis. I got this. Have I told you that I love yo, and I gonna miss the fuck outa you?"

"Shit, I'm going to miss you as well. Milly is going to be whining every day."

"Yeah, you gotta promise to look after her."

"You know I will." I sighed.

As we separated, I handed her a little envelope. "What the fuck?" she said angrily. "This better not be what I think it is."

"It's just some cash in case you need it. I love you as well, Aroha. Be safe, and be careful."

It's an hour's drive back to Tokoroa, and I don't think I stopped crying the whole way. That was the saddest moment of my life.

Milly barrelled up to me when I finally got home. She sniffed all around the car looking for Aroha. God, I think she was as sad as I was.

That night, she slept on my bed with me. Her smelly dog food breath at least distracted me from the loss of my best friend.

We talked every night, we video messaged, and I could see she was happy. The course was going well, she was getting on great with her flat mates. Unfortunately, I couldn't get to Hamilton over the weekend. I was rostered on.

It was the following week when I drove over. She flew into my arms for a cuddle. Milly, who I brought along for company, went nuts. She knocked Aroha over like the bulldozer she was. Her slobbery tongue was all over Aroha's face.

It took ten minutes before we could get Milly off her. We walked inside and she made us a cup of coffee. There was a small party going on out the back. Eighteen year old girls can be full on. When I walked out the back, a couple of the girls came for hugs as well. The air was filled with giggles and squealing. There were a couple of partially empty wine bottles, some beer bottles. A couple of guys firing up a barbecue.

Aroha caught me up on her studies, and she was like a tape player on fast forward. She laughed and hugged me as she told me every detail of her classes.

We shared lunch with her friends before taking Milly for a walk. "What about you, Charli, you met anybody yet?"

Laughing, I sneered. "Nobody, I'm to busy consoling Milly. She's been lonesome."

"I worry about you living alone. You need some love in your life."

"I have Milly. That's all I need."

"You know she's mine... Right?" Aroha giggled.

"She used to be yours, but hey... Possession is nine tenths of the law."

We laughed as we walked. "What about you, Aroha. Met any nice boys?"

Blushing, she said. "No nice ones, but there's a couple who are interested."

"Oh yeah, are they good looking?"

"Yeah, in a bad boy sorta way. They nothin special, just guys."

"Well be careful, if you have sex, use condoms."

"Yes, Momma." she said playfully. "Yo should be getting some of that as well. There's a couple of pretty hot chicks who're into that shit on campus. I could check em out for ya, if ya want?"

Giving her a gentle nudge, I grumbled, "I can find my own dates, thank you very much."

"I don't know if you can. I never once seen you with anybody. Yo know it'll get cobwebs on it, go all dry and wizened up. Nobody wants a dry old hoo ha."

"Jesus, Aroha. Give it a miss. I'm looking for love, not sex."

"Well, don't wait too long."

Milly really did miss Aroha; being cooped up all day wasn't much fun for her either. We busted a property which was being used for growing dope. During the bust, I found a litter of Rottweilers. They were only days old, and looked terrible. The mother had apparently been run over, and the puppies wouldn't take milk, so they were left to die.

I scooped them up and rushed them to the vet's. He sorted out some milk bottles, and we started feeding them. All but one responded, the runt. She was only tiny, and was almost too far gone. The vet put her on an IV and I sat with her in my lap, trying and trying to get her to drink.

She tried, I think, but couldn't do it.

After many failed attempts, the vet said, "Charli, I think we should euthanise her. She's not going to make it."

"No," I snarled. "Let me keep trying."

He shook his head, returning later. "We have to lock up. You can't stay here."

The bloody tears wouldn't stop rolling down my cheeks. "Charli, it's not fair on her, we should put her down. It's the humane thing to do."

"Let me take her home. Let me try. If she isn't drinking tomorrow, then we can do it."

He wasn't happy, but let me take her. When Milly saw what I was carrying, she went nuts, as well. I sat in the lotus position with a blanket over my knees, the little puppy curled in my lap. I kept the milk bottle by her mouth, hoping upon hope she would drink.

We sat like that, me motionless, my muscles stiff and painful. She just wouldn't drink. Nothing I could do or say made any difference. Milly, who seemed a little jealous, wandered over after a couple of hours, put her head in my lap and whined as she licked the little puppy's face.

Something triggered in the puppy, she moved, her mouth closed over the teat and the milk started to vanish. It was gone in no time, and I had to rush to get more. When I returned, Milly was snuggled beside the puppy licking and covering her in slobber.

This time, she drank thirstily. We all slept on my bed and I fed her during the night. She still didn't move much, but looked a little healthier.

I had to take the next day off work to care for her. The vet couldn't believe his eyes when he watched her drinking. "I guess miracles do happen after all," he said. "What do you want to do with her?"

"I'm keeping her," I replied firmly.

"It'll be good for Milly if she makes it. She will be good company."

Over the next few days, 'Miracle,' as I called her started to build strength. She started walking, then clumsily running, Milly always in hot pursuit. She was like Miracle's security guard.

By the weekend, she was walking and barking, although weakly. We all piled in my car and headed for Hamilton.

As usual, Aroha came rushing out to greet Milly and I. She made a fuss over Milly until she saw Miracle. "Oh my god. Who is this?"

"That's Miracle, she's our new member of the family."

Aroha scooped her into her arms, they cuddled and Aroha had to put up with being licked to death. We went inside, and as always, there was a mini party going on. Guys and girls everywhere. There were empty bottles all over the place. Music pumped, there was a blow up swimming pool in the back yard.

This was the first time I noticed, Aroha drinking. She offered me one, but I said, "I have to drive."

"You could stay the night. Enjoy the party. There's a girl coming I'd like ya to meet. She's a little hottie. When I showed her your photo, she looked interested."

"You now how I feel about that stuff, Aroha. Don't embarrass me."

"C'mon, Sis, she's really nice, you'll like her. I promise."

The loud noise was making Milly uncomfortable. Trying to change the subject, I said, "What say we take her for a walk?"

She sighed in resignation. "Yeah, whatever." We walked in silence for a ways, but Aroha couldn't help herself. "Why don't you want to meet Fi? She's real cute."

"I don't want any distractions in my life. It wouldn't be fair to her or me. I need to put everything I have into my career. When I'm ready, I'll know."

"But you're all alone. I worry about you."

Giving Miracle a gentle rub as Aroha cuddled her. I replied, "I'm not lonely, I live alone, but that doesn't make me lonely. I have these two to keep me company."

Aroha giggled as she ruffled Miracles floppy ears. "She's a cutie, bet she grows up to be big though."

"Yeah, look at those paws; she is definitely going to eat me out of house and home."

Aroha stopped and nervously said, "Can we go back to the party? There's somebody else I want you to meet."

"Ahhh, no. I just explained..."

She cut me off. "This is different, okay? It's a guy."

"What..."

"We have sorta been hanging a bit."

"Hanging?"

"Yeah, you know..."

"Boyfriend?" I spluttered.

"Yeah, kinda."

We walked into the flat and there was a young guy I hadn't seen earlier. The moment our eyes locked, I knew it was him. Black T-shirt, ripped and torn. Some rock band emblazoned across it. Long black greasy hair, Tattoos everywhere.

I didn't have to meet him, I already hated him. In my job I met a lot of people just like him. I try not to judge, but it's a stereotype for a reason. He reached out his hand. "Hey, you must be Charli?"

"And you are?"

"Todd."

We shook hands and I asked. "What do you do, are you a student as well?"

"Nah, not me. I'm in sales and promotions."

Aroha sensed my unease and jumped between us. "Todd's a music promoter, You know, concerts and events. That sort of thing." Her eyes pleaded with me.

One of Aroha's flatmates brought over a couple of glasses of wine. She passed one to me and one to Aroha.

I stayed for a little while, just to get a feeling for him. I managed to get a card from him, at least I could do some research. It meant I met Fi, and Aroha was right. She was cute, but she was also an airhead. A crazy feminist.

I'm gay, but I don't hate men. They are a necessary evil. Yeah, okay, I'm a feminist as well. I had fought against oppression. I hated that guys working beside me were paid more. All the senior ranks of the police force were male. I wanted to be part of a change. I wanted to improve women's rights without putting men down. All I wanted was equality. We were all human after all.

Fi was the opposite. She wanted men to suffer. It was laughable, really. Aroha tried to push us together, but apart from her physical beauty, underneath that was a very dangerous toxic evil.

I left early, hiding behind the need to get Miracle home.

At home, researching Todd wasn't hard. He had a string of convictions through the youth justice system. All of it petty stuff. The usual shoplifting, drug possession, underage drinking. There were a couple of more serious ones as well, burglary and car theft.

Not a very good start. Now I disliked him even more.

Aroha, though, was smitten, and nothing I could say would sway her. When we did catch up, I noticed she was drinking more, and I could smell weed on her clothes. Our old closeness was slowly dissolving. Our daily chats slipped. First it was every other day, then three or four days between.

Okay, it's true, I was jealous, I knew it. Everybody knew it, but we drifted apart. Her eighteenth birthday was approaching, and I suggested we go out for a meal.

"I'd love to, Charli, but the girls are throwing me a party here. Why don't you come and spend the night. That way you can have some drinks, let your hair down.

Reluctantly, I let her talk me into it. I wasn't that keen, but I still wanted to be part of her life. I dropped the dogs off with Marama, and drove into Hamilton. I couldn't shake the anxiety.

The place was overflowing. Aroha's flatmates made me welcome. They kept filling my hands with fresh drinks. She did love the necklace I brought her. I couldn't shake Todd, he was all over her. They kissed and made out. Yeah, they were a couple, they were allowed. It was just his domineering nature I didn't like. He was a bully, he spoke for her, interrupted when we talked.

He was a rude obnoxious jerk.

There were no spare beds, so I had to sleep on the couch. I'm sure Todd left their bedroom door open on purpose, just so I had to listen to them make love.

The next morning, the shame and embarrassment was written all over Aroha's face. She couldn't hold my gaze. I think she was happy when I left. I know I was.

I hated the whole situation; he was a bad influence on her. He was dragging her down. Even her studies. Initially she was doing really well, but lately, I sensed she wasn't paying attention, her goals were becoming cloudy.

I pushed her, I nagged and complained. That was, in hindsight, a mistake. It drove a wedge between us. It got so bad we stopped talking.

Sometimes it was weeks between phone calls. When we did talk, it was always brief. Talking to her teachers scared me. Apparently she had slipped classes, wasn't trying. They pleaded with me to try and get her back on track. Unfortunately, the harder I tried, the wider the gap between us grew.

It all exploded on a fight of epic proportions. Accusations flew back and forth. When she called me a jealous hateful lezzie bitch. That was it. I walked out of her life. Again, I cried the whole way home, Miracle's head in my lap and Milly licking my face.

The three of us slept together, and I think they cried as hard as I did.

Life goes on, as they say. I tried to put her out of my mind. Marama was upset, but when she tried to talk to Aroha, she got the same treatment I got.

Slowly, and painfully. Aroha disappeared from my life.

Work was busy, I was out of my probationary period and was now a fully fledged police officer. Aroha stopped being part of my daily thoughts. I focused on the good things. With Mum and Dad's help, I searched for a house, or at least a property. I wanted something semi-rural, but cheap.