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"You know me to well. I want to see how the partner webcam session works with Karen and Sam before I make the same offer to Angela. Even if we don't work with Angela, I thought I would discuss with her getting into webcamming." Maggie noted.
The pair holding hands left the mall, returned home and began a marathon intense sex session. Maggie and Julian were heaven. Passionate, non-stop fucking 24/7.
Everything was perfect...
******
Then Maggie missed her period.
- COMMENTS
redlion755 months agoWad hoping for the explanation of why Victoria was able to transform Maggie with magic coffee creamer
Anonymousabout 4 years agoI rarely give entirely negative feedback and I will try my best here.
The downside: Completely unrealistic narrative, Impossible proportions and physical abilities. This all is completely legit if a) the story is constistent within its own world and b) the characters are credible (they have believable motives, they act and interact like actual persons). In this story neither is true. This is why feedback on the first installment was so negative. And the second, entirely uninteresting installment is even worse. It seems like it was written by a horny (male) preteen who never actually saw, much less talked to an actual woman. In comparison to this, Michael Bay movies seem like french Arthouse-Cinema.
Positive/Constructive things...well at least there is no third Part. Apart from that: keep in writing, try to make the protagonists really work for their luck. And strive to stay as realistic as possible (within the confines of the Genre). If that works, maybe move on to more unrealistic settings again. Work on your dialogues: Ask yourself if actual people, especially family members, would talk like your characters' interaction in webcamming. That scene sounds like an overtrained and underbrained marketing trainee talking to a completely braindead airhead. I'm getting negative again...i'll stop now.
Best,
XV
Anonymousabout 5 years agoMaggie's going to be pregnant and all 5 people are going to fuck like rabbits
