It Doesn't Hurt to Look

My wife Paula and I (Dave Williams) were planning on spending the weekend at our summer cottage at the shore, which usually means we spend at least one day on our boat fishing. I knew it was time to replace some gear so I was going to go online and see what the local stores may have on sale. I really needed some additional smaller jigs as the mackerel was running and I used that for bait for larger fish like stripers. My wife Paula had her laptop out on the table as she had been looking up a new recipe for dinner and I asked if she wouldn't mind me using it for a minute or two. She instead said that she wouldn't mind doing it and asked what store I wanted. I replied "Dick's" meaning Dick's Sporting Goods.

Now what happened next I am certain has happened to everyone at least once in his or her life. You don't know the exact URL to type in for a store so you just use a few words and hope you get the right place. However, sometimes what you get is a total surprise. Now as I said the store I had in mind was "Dick's Sporting Goods" but what she of course typed was what I had said, "Dick's", and quickly hit the enter key. What came up as no surprise were links and images or men's dicks. My immediate reaction was to say "Oh Shit" but my wife's immediate reaction was to say "Wow" and she said it in not a shocked or appalled manner but a more pleasant way as to imply "Nice". She then proceeded to click on the image and fill the screen with these pictures of young no hair anyplace large dicked men. I looked at her and she had a huge smile and she chuckled.

I said, "What the hell are you doing?"

She replied "come on, I know you aren't gay but you have to admit that guy is hot and what a beautiful cock."

"So you wouldn't mind if I did a search on young hot girls with big firm breast?"

"Don't be such an ass and so what? It doesn't hurt to look."

She then got up and went to the stove to start dinner. Nothing was said of this again and I did make the purchase and we did have our weekend at the cottage.

A few days later my wife and I were in the TV room and as usual she was on the laptop. She is very much into social media with Facebook being her favorite and also many other things like Pinterest, or YouTube how to videos, and many shopping outlets for shoes, dresses, and even makeup. Now something to mention about my wife and her computer use; she rarely will close a browser window. She leaves them all open. She also will rarely log out, as she never remembers her login ID or passwords. She has taken to writing them down in notebooks. She has a notebook with the login and passwords at her work, in her purse, and in a desk drawer in our home office. With her many sessions being open and active concurrently she will quite often complain to me how slow it is and can I fix it. Tonight turned out to be one of those days and she asked me to do something about it. I went over and told her I see she has many windows open and so close a few. As I she started to click on each one and shut it down in the background what finally came to front was a site showing young hard bodied men with large shaved cocks! She gasped when I saw that and I gave her a pretty mean look.

"What the fuck is this!"

"I was curious so I was just looking"

"Why, why were you curious and why now? In fact you never really seemed to care about dicks. You told me flat out early on in our relationship that you don't like to give oral and even now I get it three times a year! My birthday, our anniversary, and a holiday of my choice are all I get!

"There's no need for shouting. You know I was a virgin just out of high school when we met and then married. I have only scene three dicks in all my life. Yours of course, Tom who I dated in high school and then Jeff, the guy I was seeing when we met. All three were the same so when I saw those pictures the other day I was surprised. I had no idea that they could be so different or so big and I told you, there's no harm in just looking."

"No, Paula, there can be harm in looking. Porn can be an addiction and what happens when you get too curious?"

"What do you mean "too curious"? Are you calling me a cheater or a slut?"

"No, I am just saying this can negatively affect our marriage. I don't want you to be thinking about big dicks when we are together. I want you to think about MY dick."

"Honey, don't be jealous, I love you and I love your dick. You are all I need."

"Then no more searching for Dick's online, deals?"

"Of course, honey. No more searching."

The next few weeks everything appeared normal. We went to work, we ate dinner, we talked, and we had sex. Nothing was out of the ordinary. But then there was a change.

Sex with my wife, to me, was great. It is pretty vanilla and for some it may be bland, but I was never one to complain and Paula always climaxed. Paula was not a vocal sex partner. She would "coo" and "moan" and many times very quietly say, "yes, yes, yes" and when she climaxed she would let out an exhale and have a small shiver and I could feel her pussy tighten on my cock. This happens every time and sometimes twice. The actual sex position, as I said, was vanilla in the sense she preferred missionary and on a few occasions where we went twice she would get on her knees and we did doggy style. What happened this evening caught me off guard and honestly I was surprised I could maintain my erection.

I was in bed first that evening as Paula remained in the TV room watching some Netflix chick flick. I have no idea how much time had passed but I was awoken by Paula getting into bed. She was naked and snuggled up against me and started to kiss my neck. She never initiates sex! As she was kissing my neck her hand went into my shorts and started to stroke my cock, then gently cup my balls, then back to stroking my cock. Once I was rock hard she slipped under the covers, pulled off my shorts, and then what I can only describe as she orally made love to my cock and balls! She licked and sucked every inch and she even sucked on my balls while she massaged my cock. She would bring me close to cumming and then back off. After what felt like an eternity she climbed on top and rode me to a climax. Totally satisfied she then rested on my chest, kissed me gently, and then rolled over to her side. Not a word was said. I stared at the ceiling wondering why my wife, the three blowjob a year woman, just gave me the best blowjob I could ever imagine. Instead of being elated, I was devastated.

The next morning instead of leaving for work at the normal time I explained to Paula that I had an early morning call and rather than take it in the car I would just take it at home and drive in later. She completed her morning routine as usual and headed into work. As soon as I knew she was gone I went to snoop on her computer. Easily done as like I said she never logs out nor does she close windows. To my surprise, there were no open windows and her browser history was clean. That should have made me happy but being so out of character for her that increased my suspicions. She was now clearing her trail. Last night instead of Netflix she must have again been looking at cocks and it wasn't me she fucked last night but some stud. Should I care? If I was going to benefit with great sex why say anything? My mind quickly jumped to the issue of what's next? What happens when she realizes that it is still I and I still don't have the big cock she will no doubt crave? I decided to say nothing but I will start to watch her more closely.

That evening we were back to the old routine of dinner, some TV, some talking about the upcoming weekend, and then bed. It was not a sex night. In fact there was no sex for the next couple of days. I didn't push too hard but there have been times where we went without for more than a few days so it didn't concern me. But the next day something happened that did concern me.

We had just gotten to bed and I cuddled up and started to try and get her in the mood for sex and surprisingly she did not reject my advance. This time I was kissing her neck rather than her kissing mine she reached down and slowly started to massage my dick and balls. All good, right? Wrong. She whispers in my ear "have you ever thought of shaving?"

Mood breaker.

"What? Shave my balls?"

"Yes"

"Why? Why would I do that?

"Well for one thing without the hair maybe I would enjoy giving you blowjobs"

"You didn't seem to mind the other day, and what brought that up by the way?"

"You questioning it? I thought I would surprise you."

"Surprise? Try shock. And now the shaving all my pubic hair? I told you looking at those dick pics would somehow affect us. Now you are bringing it into our bedroom."

"No I haven't!"

"You can't tell me that the sex the other night wasn't because of those pictures. You were up late looking at porn then came to bed. Now you want me to shave like the guys in the picture. You are taking your fantasy too far for my liking. I want you to make love to me, not some fantasy guy."

"You are taking this all wrong, Dave. I am not thinking about other guys when we make love. You are my guy, you are all I want."

"I'd like to believe you but there are things going on that you have to admit are totally out of character for you."

"What. So I gave you a blowjob, so I asked you to shave. What's the big deal."?

'I'm not going to shave my balls. It will only make you think more about these big cock guys."

"No it won't. And besides, it will make you look bigger."

'Holy fuck! Did you just say that? Did you hear yourself! Now you are telling me I have a little dick and I have to shave to make it appear bigger!

"No! You are over reacting. Are you that insecure? Are you that jealous over some pictures"?

"Paula you have no idea what you just did to my ego. You emasculated me in two seconds flat. I asked you before how you would feel if it was the other way around? What if I kept looking up younger, firmer women images? What if I asked you to shave like they do? What if I asked you to get a breast tuck or liposuction? Would you still feel like a desirable women or would you now feel I was no longer satisfied with your body?"

" I get it but I still think you are over reacting and now you are again being an ass" If you don't want my sex then fine. Deal with it yourself."

She then just rolled over and once again no words were said.

For the next few weeks we were basically roommates. We ate together only really speaking about the household issues or concerns. Sex was not on the table as she refused me every time. I kept tabs on her all I could and saw nothing unusual. There were no girl's nights out. No unnecessary shopping trips. No late evening meetings. The only thing I couldn't check was if anything was going on at her work or at lunch. So I decided to start to call her at lunchtime. She never answered her work phone but she would answer her cell phone. So if she was having lunch it was not at her desk. We never had need to track each others phone so the Find My Friends feature was never configured. To do so know I would have to send a request and that would raise a flag. I think if it gets to that point I can find a way to get her phone and do it myself.

Just as quickly as things went bad they just as quickly became good. Confused? Me also. I came home from work and instead of the non-greeting I was becoming to expect she called out from the kitchen "Dinner is almost ready, would you like a drink?"

I was floored. I replied that I am fine I will just wash up and join you in a minute.

Dinner conversation was all one sided. She went on and on about work projects, what is going on in her friends life, when will we go to the cottage again, and on and on. I wasn't going to question it. I just hoped whatever pissed her off was done and gone and we could get back to how things were.

That night after our usual watching TV and chat we both went to bed. I washed up first and got under the covers while Paula then went to the bathroom to wash up and get ready for bed. I was under the sheets laying on my side when she slipped into bed. She immediately slid over to me and I felt she was naked. Once again, like before, she initiated sex. It was similar to before but this time there was no oral. She again gently played with my cock and got me hard then rolled to her back and pulled me to her and guided my cock into her. Now this part was not unusual. What was unusual was she became vocal. As I was making love to her, she was acting like she was being fucked. She was moving into me trying to get me as deep as she could. Instead of the soft moans and gentle "yes, yes, yes" she was loudly saying "fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, yes like that!" Again, I was surprised I stayed erect but I continued on until she came... But she didn't. Oh, she had a "when Sally met Harry" type climax but there was no shiver, no gentle satisfying exhale, no tightening of her pussy onto my dick. She faked it. I could tell. When I was finished there was no "I love you" and roll over and go to sleep. She simply went into the bathroom to clean up or as I suspect to finish herself off. I lay in bed staring at the ceiling and she finally came out, went under the covers, and fell asleep. Sleep did not come to me that night.

The next morning I once again said I had a conference call that I would take at home. Once again after she left for work I went to her computer. Again, the browser history was clean and there were no open windows. But this time I was going to snoop further. I opened her notebook that contains her logins and passwords and found two new entries. These were stood out, as they didn't list what they were for. All the others on her list had some identification like Facebook, Apple ID, or Pinterest. These were just the ID that she normally uses, her initials and birthdate, and then the password. She didn't want anyone to know the site or application.

I went back to the computer and started to poke around. I didn't see anything jump out at me so I then went to the download folder. There I saw the most recent activity and I saw what appeared to be some installer file. Looking into it I found an application name that I could search against and there it was. It was a dating application for MILFS. Opening the application I typed in one of the ID's and passwords and failed to login. I tried the second and I was in. What I saw was the end of my marriage. Paula had a profile set up that basically said she wanted a NSA encounter with a young guy, 25 to 30, shaved all over, 9 inch cock or longer. I could see that for weeks she had been exchanging messages via this app with a variety of guys and she had lunch dates with several. From what I could gather she had settled on two guys and over the last three weeks where I was sexless and treated with the cold shoulder she had sex with one of these guys three times and the other two. It was to have been three times but something came up and the guy had to break off at the last minute. That was yesterday and probably explains why she was horny enough that evening and wanted sex. I copied what I could to a thumb drive, don't know why but I did, and printed off a few pages of her messages where it clearly stated what she was looking for and what she eventually did.

I am not the type of guy to wait around. I was going to confront her that evening. I called work and said I was sick and would be out a couple of days and yes, I did feel sick. I spent the better part of an hour finding a divorce lawyer and the earliest I could get in was two days from now. But they did offer me some advice that boiled down to don't do anything but gather all the finance information I could so they could start on the paperwork. I am in a no fault state so why I am getting divorced means nothing and there are no kids so this would really be an easy job for them. Not so easy for me but easy for them. After all, it's what they do.

That evening, or actually late afternoon, I was sitting in my usual chair for when we watch TV and I had three fingers of Tequila in a glass, straight up, when she walked in from work. She didn't know at the time what was wrong but she knew something was not right.

"What's the matter babe? You're starting awfully early"?

"I got some bad news this morning. Actually devastating news"

"What? You sick? You lose your job?"

"I am sick, but not what you think and no, I didn't lose my job I lost something worse, something far more important".

"What is it? Tell me honey. I can help".

"No, its nothing you can help. You've done enough".

"You're scaring me honey. What's going on"?

"The sex the other day, it wasn't you. It was a different Paula. You were vocal, you swore, you didn't climax. That got me thinking that just like last time you weren't making love to me you were fucking someone else. So I did some checking and now I know."

"You know? What are you saying?"

"I know that you put out an add for young studs with big cocks. I know you held lunchtime interviews. I know you selected two and you had sex with them, several times. I know you got stood up the other day and I was a substitute, a poor one at that."

'No! That's not true! I don't know who is telling you this shit but it's not true!"

"Oh it's true Paula. I got it from a very reliable source."

"Who!"

"You Paula, you told me." I reached down to the papers I had on the floor by the chair and handed them to her. I got up and went to fill my glass once again and I heard the cries.

"When you able to compose yourself we need to talk. I have an appointment with a lawyer in a couple of days and I think if we can settle a few things together before hand it may go sooner. You may get one yourself or maybe if you are agreeable we can use a mediator or something that will be quick and painless."

A few minutes later she joined me in he kitchen. She was not really composed but I wasn't going to push it.

"I'm not going to say I told you so but I told you so. I told you I could tell how you reacted at the start that this would lead to no good. I was worried that you would bring this obsession with big cock into our life, you said no, but then you did."

'I didn't mean it to get this far!"

"You could have and should have stopped right at the fantasy time. That first time when you gave me that incredible blowjob I knew something was not right. You never really admitted to doing anything wrong. You were making it all about me like I had the problem and it was my insecurities."

"I didn't see anything wrong. I liked looking, I was getting excited, and you were going to benefit."

"But I know you Paula, I could see how you were reacting. I knew you would not stop it at the fantasy. You knew something was wrong as you started to hide what you were doing. If you could keep it at fantasy then maybe things would be fine. Maybe sex would be more exciting. But I knew you wouldn't be satisfied with just me. That is why I was angry. That is why I wanted you to stop."

"OK, but it's over. I know what I did was wrong and you are right I couldn't stop. I had to know what it would be like. What sex with someone else was like what sex with different cocks was like. I wasn't looking for love as I have love. I wasn't looking to replace you as I love you and want to be with you forever. It was just something I had to experience. I know you don't understand and I know I really can't explain it. Just like all the clichés it was to be a few quick flings and I would get it out of my system. I would treat you the same and we would be happy for the rest of our lives."

"But it wasn't the same. You changed, you would expect more from me than I could offer. God gave me what I have and I can't do anything about it."

"Noooo! I love sex with you. We make love. What I was doing was not love."