All Comments on 'It Happened One Night'

If the aim was to get the narrator together with nextdoor neighbour Aidan, why did the writer need all the paraphernalia of the winery tour - a load of characters wheeled onto the stage & wheeled back off again, without having done anything in particular whilst they were there. I also wonder why Aidan's car was at their place, & for that matter why a semi-slewed neighbour couldn't just stagger home & retrieve the damn thing after he'd sobered up the next day. If that wouldn't work, because "next door" is several miles away under that big Texas sky, then Thom & she could surely have let Aidan stay over at their place(though not necessarily in their bed.

That's some of the logical inconsistencies dealt with. "But", you say, "it's intended to be a piece of erotic fantasy, not a realistic short story!". Fine, so make it much more interior, & let the narrator pursue her desires without needing any permission (from Thom) or conveniently getting Aidan's wife off the scene a few days earlier. Try writing a transgressive story - who knows, it might really float your little man's boat.