It Started at Work

It Started at Work

Coworkers have chemistry, but can't get together, until...

From the day I first met her, Jess struck me as the ideal woman, not the pornographic fantasy, but the ideal wife and mother of my children, someone you could build a life with. Don't get me wrong. She was plenty good-looking, but you'd be more likely to describe her as beautiful than hot. It wasn't until years after I first met her that I found out she had no problem pulling off "hot" too, it's just that she didn't like to advertise it. Hot was just for me when we were alone.

Jess somehow managed to look cuter in a sweatshirt and jeans than all dressed up for a night on the town. She was old enough to know a few things, but not so old as to be jaded about anything yet. On top of her looks, she was smart, down-to-earth with a great sense of humor, and easy to talk to. In short, she was the total package.

Those looks, and that way she had about her, are what made her ideal for her job. Jess was a corporate recruiter. She and I both worked for a large international firm of consulting engineers, based in Las Vegas. She fit her job so well at least partly because she seemed to be the literal incarnation of the dream girl not just me, but so many of those guys, in their heart of hearts, saw themselves settling down with. The subliminal message: this is the kind of life you can have if you come work for our firm.

We joked I was the eye candy, central casting's idea of a Product Engineer, more at home in the field than behind a desk, ruggedly handsome and quietly confident. I wasn't all that, really, but I could look the part, and even convince the average potential client that I was that guy, as long as I didn't have to talk to them for more than about 20 min. But in the Recruiting game, or the Marketing game, 20 min. is all you need.

In short, we were the perfect team for the trade shows. We looked the part. We could talk a pretty good game, represent the company in the most positive light possible, and make connections that we or someone else could follow up on later, either for future clients, or possible future employees.

In the last year the bosses had settled on us working these shows together. Experience had shown Jess and I proved to be the most effective team. Contracts following the shows averaged 20% higher when we worked together than they did when either of us worked a show separately, or when they had others do the shows without us.

We even sounded like a team, Jeff and Jess. Out on the road, working out of hotels, we were a team. Back in the office, or in our private lives, we were not. This is the story of how that all changed.

Jess, my dream girl, had a live-in fiancee. I was married, more or less happily. Even though the company was sending us to trade shows together every other month or so, typically for about 3 days at a time (5 if we had to travel cross-country or internationally), neither of our significant others considered us a "threat," and, truth be told, they weren't exactly wrong.

To Jess's fiancee, Ryan, I was a boring, underachieving old guy (I'm 51). To my wife, Maddie, Jess was not only too young to be attracted to me (she just turned 30), but she thought Ryan was a real hottie and incredibly charming. He also came from money. So in her book, in comparison, that was three strikes against me. She figured there was no way Jess would want to trade down like that.

At least that's how Maddie felt when she bothered to care about even the idea of my screwing around on her. The thing is, as time went on it seemed like she was caring less and less about anything having to do with me. Ryan was arrogant enough to not just fail to see me as a threat; he basically never thought about me at all. My guess is even now he has no idea where it all went wrong with Jess and him. That's because he's a clueless tool too stuck on himself to ever consider things from someone else's point of view.

So that was the setup. It played out slowly, as these things sometimes do, until this last May, when it rushed over us like a tidal wave. Of course things really had started before that. Things had been building, although neither of us were completely aware until it was upon us.

Jess and I basically hit it off from the start as coworkers. We knew we had chemistry as a selling team. But it really was all about the work. We didn't even talk about our home lives much. Our significant others had met and formed their opinions at the company picnic and the Christmas party. We didn't socialize together outside work. When we were on the road together, of course the company put us up in separate rooms. Sometimes we even took separate flights if we were combining a trip with visits to friends or relatives or a little sightseeing.

But over time, little bits of our home lives crept into our life as a team on the road. It's unavoidable. It just happens. As it happened to Jess and I, it only served to bring us closer together. At the trade shows, we were there to support each other, and we were really good at it. With long hours of travel and away from home on the road, it was only natural to look for just a little support in other ways too.

Despite having chemistry so great that it made work fun, neither of us was the cheating type. Some people are; some are not. I had a few private fantasies, sure, but with no intention to act on them, so nothing ever happened between us. Well...at least it appeared to be nothing. We never so much as kissed for the first two years we were a team. But there were moments...

After one of the first big clients we landed, Jess had said to me, excitedly, "I just love how our communication is so natural, bouncing off each other like that as we closed in for the sale...it was better than sex!"

"Then your fiancee must not be doing it right," I joked. It was a stupid joke, inappropriate even, but in the moment she had laughed, and she seemed to take it in the lighthearted spirit I intended. But I thought I caught a slight hesitation behind her eyes. Looking back on it now, that may have been what planted the seed, or maybe it was when that seed started to grow. That little remark made her think.

And that slight hesitation was all it took to make me think too. It occurred to me that she'd been engaged for almost three years and I hadn't heard anything about them setting a date. With that remark, for the first time, just as a tiny seed in the back of my mind, I thought that maybe...just maybe...

Before Jess came on board, I'd done a few trade shows. I always dreaded them. The travel was a grind. The hotels and conference rooms all seemed the same. We didn't have a lot of time for fun stuff in the cities we visited. The prospects and potential clients were boring too. I did it because my boss encouraged me to, I did it out of loyalty to the company and the team, but it was never fun.

Jess changed all that. The work was the same, but she made it something I looked forward to. We made up nicknames for the type of people we ran into. We developed a shorthand for the type of approach we would take for each, kind of an outline script. She'd signal me, or I'd signal her, and then the other one would fall into the script, assume the role as we worked together to reel in the clients. We'd improvise too. It was the way we worked together. Jess had noticed it right away. It was the natural communication we had that made it so enjoyable.

We were just incredibly in sync. It started around our product, service, and sales pitches, but it started to bleed over into which restaurants to eat at, conversation topics, all the little stuff too. But still we kept it strictly professional. I was starting to have some feelings under all that, even beyond my initial fantasies, but I tried hard not to show it. I tried not to admit it to myself, either. Was she starting to have feelings too? At some level, I believed Maddie's opinion of the situation. There was no reason for Jess to trade down. I tried hard not to get my hopes up. What was the point, anyway? I was still married, and that meant something to me.

But still, Jess seemed to like me. We seemed to enjoy our time together. She always seemed genuinely happy to see me. Of course I thought she was beautiful. I loved stealing glances at her when she wasn't looking. I loved positioning myself on the trade floor behind her so I could sneak in glances at her ass. But she didn't dress sexy. It was always businesslike. She never even undid an extra button for drinks after dinner. I kept myself in pretty decent shape, but I was 51; she was 30, with a rich, hot, charming fiancee. I did spend more than a few of those hotel room nights fantasizing about her in the next room, sometimes just on the other side of a thin wall, but I was realistic. I tried not to get ahead of myself.

One night in St. Louis, she knocked on my door late. My heart jumped. I opened it to see she was wearing pajamas covered by a bathrobe. She'd forgotten toothpaste and wondered if she could borrow some. Of course I let her, but I had to admit to some disappointment that she'd been wearing unexciting pajamas, and not the lingerie of my dreams. But to me she was sexy even wearing a hoodie and oversized sweatpants.

I knew her well enough that I didn't just see the wrapping, I was turned on by the Jess I knew was inside. The only other person I'd ever felt that with was my wife, where my dick could get hard just because I was with that person, just because of how it felt to be with them, and it didn't even matter exactly what they looked like. Truth be told, lately I was having trouble feeling that way about my wife, but I wasn't having any trouble feeling it about Jess. Being with her just made me happy, and it made me horny, and I'd never so much as kissed her, or seen her in clothing more revealing than a t-shirt.

Was I in love with her? Maybe I was. Mostly, I tried not to think about such things. I was still married, after all; she was engaged. I know you can be married and still have attractions to other people. I tried not to make too much of it.

By spring this year I really started to look forward to heading out on the road. It wasn't only because I was enjoying working with Jess. Things with Maddie and I weren't going so well. Little things I did around the house, or didn't do, seemed to be bothering her more and more. I even suspected sometimes she would bring them up to pick a fight on purpose, so I wouldn't approach her for sex. Our sex life had been pretty good throughout 17 years of marriage, but had really fallen off in the last couple of years. It seemed like whenever I suggested something we might do together, not just sex, she found a reason she didn't want to. There were more and more nights out with her girlfriends, sometimes even a weekend at the beach or the mountains without me.

I didn't really suspect her of cheating. For one, she'd kind of let herself go, not seeming to care about her appearance as she once had. I assumed she'd be paying more attention to how she looked if she was cheating on me. Mostly, it just seemed like not only did she not want to have sex with me, she didn't even like being around me any more.

Even though we didn't usually talk about personal stuff, Jess could sense that I wasn't right. She'd asked, but of course I'd replied that everything was fine. This went on for a few weeks until our flight out of Denver got delayed and we had three extra hours to kill in the airport bar. Three drinks in, she managed to pry it out of me that my wife had grown cold and distant.

"You don't have to tell me, Jeff, but you know you can. I think we know each other pretty well by now. I know your moods. I know how you think. I can tell when something's bothering you."

"Maddie and I are hitting a little rough patch, is all," I said. "I know sometimes that happens, especially over a long marriage. She didn't seem to like me much after Jake was born, but I just kinda chalked that up to postpartum depression. We got through it eventually. I imagine we'll get through this too."

"Have you talked to her about it?"

"I've tried. She tells me it's something she has to work out for herself. She's seeing a therapist--by herself. But she doesn't want to go to couples counseling."

"I'm sorry, Jeff. You're a really good guy. You're smart. You're funny. You're handsome. You don't drink or gamble or chase skirts. You're definitely a keeper. She's gotta know that."

"Yeah, well it just doesn't seem to be enough for her lately."

"Well...what a pair we make!" she observed. "If you want to talk more, need a shoulder to cry on, or just want some sympathy, I'm your girl! Truth is, Ryan and I aren't doing so great lately, either."

"Oh shit, Jess! You cover up well...or maybe I'm just not as good at seeing it, but I had no idea. I noticed you've seemed to be having a few more migraines lately, but I never thought...Oh wait...that was it, wasn't it? God! Sorry! I can be a little dense sometimes."

"Ha! Took you a while! I like to think I do cover up well, but it's hard. I really do get migraines, but I think it's from the strain of trying to cover up so hard, and pretend everything's OK."

"Yeah we do make a pair, then," I said, "the smiley, happy, company's best team, living a lie!" We both laughed, and clinked glasses to toast each other.

"It's not a total lie," she said. "Honestly, when we're out there together on the floor, working on a prospect, that's some of the happiest times for me. I can forget all my 'real world' problems and just focus on making the sale...and knowing you're there to back me up if I slip, or to make me see things I hadn't seen, making me better...it's just the fucking greatest! I love those times when we're working together, Jeff! Sometimes I'm embarrassed how much I fucking love it. We really are a great fucking team!"

Jess wasn't normally one to swear like that. I could tell the alcohol was getting to her. I was sure it was getting to me too, or else I never would have confessed as much as I already had. "Yeah, we are a great team. And I totally know what you mean. I feel it too."

We looked at each other, both searching each other's eyes, but before we got to see if we found anything, and before I got to ask her more about what was going on with Ryan, the overhead speaker announced our gate was boarding.

Our conversations after that stayed in safe range until the next trip, a month later, a 3-day show in Dallas. Outside of these roadshows, in our day-to-day regular work responsibilities, we really didn't cross paths all that often. But on the Dallas trip, because the door had been opened before, I felt more confident in inquiring. I noticed her eyes looked puffy as I arrived at our gate waiting to fly out. She had gotten there before me, and was sitting alone with her back to the concourse window. After hellos and a remark on the early (5:23 a.m.) flight, I sat next to her and lowered my voice to the quiet, serious range.

"Jess, are you OK?"

"I'll be OK. It's nothing. Just too early, not much sleep."

"Jess, it's me. Of course you don't have to, but you can tell me anything, safe harbor."

She broke down, not dramatically, she wasn't balling, but I could see the pretense fall away. "Ryan left me. He moved out yesterday. He was cheating on me with some 19-year-old waitress."

"Oh my God! Jess, I'm so sorry!" I leaned in for a sincere, supportive hug.

She leaned on my shoulder. "I'll be OK. It'll be good to get out of town, to have something else to think about."

"Hey, no worries. I'm here if you need me. And if you need to just stay in the hotel, or need to hit the town, whatever, don't worry about it. I can work the show alone. Nobody has to know."

She pulled away. "Thanks, Jeff. I'm glad you're here. It'll be good for me to do this, to take my mind off my troubles. I don't need you to cover for me. Just step in if you see I need a moment, OK?"

"Absolutely. Anything you need, you got it."

I was trying to be supportive, and I sincerely did want to be, but in truth my feelings were a little bit mixed. Jess did not yet know, but my wife had moved out two weeks before. I noticed Jess had stopped wearing her ring. She had not yet noticed I had also stopped wearing mine. Now definitely did not seem like the time to tell her, but already I was wondering if this timing coincidence was really working in my favor.

On the plane she was seated on my left. I reached across her with my left hand to grab my complimentary snack packet when the flight attendant offered. I noticed Jess had turned to stare at me.

"Your ring. You're not wearing your ring."

"Uh...yeah. I didn't think it was the best time to tell you before, but Maddie and I have separated. She moved out two weeks ago."

"Oh my God, Jeff! I'm sorry!"

"Thanks. But I'm not. I mean I am, kind of, but it's kind of a relief too. Mine wasn't as sudden as yours was. It had been brewing for a long time. Kind of a relief to make the break official and get started thinking about moving on."

"Yeah, I'm not quite there yet, I think you can understand. But I hope I can get there. I know I will, but I'm still kind of in shock."

"Totally understandable. I'm happy to talk about it, if you want, or we can talk about other stuff too, whatever you need."

"Thanks, Jeff." She grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. I squeezed back and held it until she released it. She leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes. I wasn't sure how much she was deep in thought and how much she was trying to rest due to lack of sleep, but I left her to it, whichever it was.

While her eyes were closed I took advantage of the opportunity to stare at her a bit. She really was a great-looking woman, anybody could see that. Even with puffy eyes she was beautiful. Her face seemed serene, more relaxed than it had been before. What was she thinking? Was there any chance she and I might have a future together? I did dare to hope. I had dared to hope just as soon as I helped Maddie carry that last box to her brother's truck, even before I knew Jess was going to be available!

I was trying hard not to get ahead of myself, but honestly, as bad as I felt for the pain Jess was going through, I was overjoyed. I was also starting to get nervous. Something developing between Jess and I might actually be possible! But how could I play this to improve my chances? Also, how could I play this to not fuck up the best work situation I'd ever had? I closed my eyes and leaned back too, my mind turning over all the possibilities.

When we got to Dallas we found out our hotel had actually put us in adjoining rooms, not just next to each other, but with a door in-between. That had happened on a few trips before, but then, it hadn't been significant. Oh sure, I'd fantasized about her sneaking into my bed in the middle of the night, or me sneaking into hers, but that had always stayed safely in the fantasy zone, no chance of crossing into reality. But now...now it seemed a lot more meaningful.

Down boy! I had to keep reminding myself to play it cool, to not jump ahead. Her fiancee had moved out only the day before! This is way too soon, way too fast to expect or even want anything to happen. But God help me I did want it. I didn't expect it, but I really did want it. I hadn't had sex in five months. Maddie wasn't interested even in a goodbye fuck. I had no idea how suddenly Ryan had sprung his affair on Jess, or how she'd found out, or even when. She might still have his cum in her panties, for all I knew. This was definitely the hardest I was going to have to work at playing it cool since my totally uncool days as a clueless high school virgin.

Jess did seem more relaxed, though. Ever since I'd told her about Maddie she'd seemed more relaxed. Was I just dreaming that? We didn't really have time to talk. It was a work day and we had to set up and then work the afternoon session of that opening day of the show. We fell into our practiced routine. She was able to smile a few times. It almost felt normal.